jumpbootsjamstring - Tumblr blog

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Funny story

I bought three tickets to see the Airborne Toxic Event back in 2019 but an ACTUAL airborne toxic event happened (Kung-Flu) that pushed it back 2 whole years and unfortunately one of my friends couldn't make it anymore so I had a real tough choice to make.

A) Take my BPD ex girlfriend who loved the band just as much as I do but would have definitely found a way to ruin the show because thats what she usually does.

B) Take Paul

So yea Paul really enjoyed himself even though he never listen to the band before Im glad I took him. I just really wanted to have a stress free good time and I believe I made the right choice.

Don't date someone with BPD

[jumpbootsjamstring]

As Always

Wish Harmony on those who wish Harm on me.

AMEN

[jumpbootsjamstring]

You telling me to kill myself hurt for like a whole solid minute lol. I just remembered how absolutely fucked and sick in the head you are but even after everything you have hurt me so much in every way possible. Im numb to it now. Even so I would never say to kill yourself.

I rather you live and suffer.

BPD have like a 10% chance of suicide. Get the help you need before it's too late.

[jumpbootsjamstring]

PATHETIC Lol You are really not the person to talk! Guess what I found out on my Valentines date Sofi Baby. You really messaged Any about me lol! How did you even find her IG account? You are just as bad as me UwU. Don't worry we talked about it as we made up 😘

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Erm rude... Telling me to kill myself is a bit much but I get it you are upset but hey I did what I wanted. It really looked like you were playing another guy like you did with me so I had to say SOMETHING and I think I picked your favorite guy of the two lol. Im glad he knows what kinda bottom feeder you are. I hope he remembers what I said and the pictures I sent him. He knows you're a lying, cheating cunt now and when the honeymoon period dies I hope that thought lingers back into his mind. Slowly corroding his thoughts and feelings about you. I hope you knowing what he knows now eats you away and slowly drives that fear of abandonment of urs through the roof! Your actions have consequences Sofia. The more I stop and think about how awful you treated and abused me the more I understand why Ricky tried to kill himself. Knowing how awful you are I even feel bad for him. REMEMBER Sofia "Having sex with other men doesn't show that you love me"

[jumpbootsjamstring]

I was patient.

Im remembering... even after knowing what you did. I was willing and even stated I would still talk to you. I still can't figure out why you said the thing you did.

Sloppy

Sounds silly but fuck that just regressed all progress you made in my mind. For a split second you turned back in to that horrible abusive person who first broke my heart with so much rotten behavior/cheating. It still blows my mind (no pun intended) nothing in ur mind stopped you from saying that. Gonna repeat myself but still makes no sense how u cried to me saying "Don't see anyone else or it will shatter me". Then without skipping a beat u tell me you blew this guy sloppy.

It hurt. It really hurt. It still hurts. It felt direct. Intentional.

You have to be like actually retarded because god damn Sofia what were you thinking.

Even after that... I said I would stick around. I know I was upset but I gave you time. The thing that really killed me was I thought you were shocked... overwhelmed and silent so I gave you time. But then I saw ur post... telling me to fuck off ur lawn lol. "You absolute bitch" *I still stand by that btw* you got caught cause ur dumbass cant help posting dumb shit on Tumblr. U got caught and took the time to tell me to fuck off. The one time I was upset and loosing it... you told me to fuck off. I was patient with you when you lost it ... I would stay and talk, making sure you were ok.

Some real love you had for me. You got so mad when I questioned ur love but look how fast you threw me away when you had some other guy waiting on the sidelines. You couldn't even let me talk.

I know ur probably thinking back to when I broke up with you. It was over text and I didn't want to meet with you because ur pretty face and tears would sway me to stay. I waited a week and u were silent. I blocked u for that. You might think we are even cause I know that hurt you. But at least I gave you the chance. I WOULD HAVE TALKED TO YOU AND I GAVE YOU THAT CHOICE. Ive always stood around for you but I wasn't given that luxury. You just blocked me and ran away.

I hope you find the one but u need to improve and get treated.

I suggest not lying or cheating on someone. That kinda ruins the whole relationship.

I know u have it rough. I know you loved me and I know I loved you Sofia.

But it still hurts my bad

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Vain

Damn how vain do you have to be to think I ... made a bumble account... uploaded pics... filled all the boxes... just to look for your account? First of all Bumble gives u only like 12 likes a day so why would I waste it on you ... Why the fuck would I even want to see you or your bumble account anyways. If you see me on the freeway/dog park/grocery store/gas station are you gonna say I was only there to find you? Come on girl

You are right about one thing I am lurkin. The exposure therapy has helped. Speaking of therapy ur skitzo ass definitely need to get ur head checked.

BPD has a 8-10% suicide rate and even though I think ur of piece of shit for what you put me through... At the end I don't want you to kill yourself. Also ur never get better alone (CLEARLY) you will only get better with medication and therapy so get checked already.

... Im a little disappointed to say you're account is the most "Only Fansiest" account I've seen on Bumble. I would expect to see your account advertising their OF on Tinder. You even put "wants a relationship" lol ...

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Maybe you will see this one day

After days and days of looking into BPD to somewhat make sense of what we called "love" or a "relationship" I slowly felt better. A small bandage over the years of abuse and manipulation (intended or not). Learning ur disorder really criples you and is probably a huge contribution to the lying, cheating, mood swings, self harm, suicidal comments, love bombing, having to walk on eggshells, insecurity, jealousy, extreme emotions, ect.

I've read alot is more about your mental illness than it is about me... doesn't stop it from killing me inside.

Sounds like you are living true hell. I don't think any words I'll say will make you take your mental health a bit more seriously, especially now that Im sure you absolutely hate me. I hope atleast your mom took any of my words seriously. Ppl with BPD have a 10% chance of suicide. Please if you are reading this, get the help you need and deserve.

Even when I hate you Sofia I always worry you someday won't be here anymore. It breaks my heart to learn the extent of suffering you go through and it drowns me worrying you might hurt yourself. Please keep going no matter what anyone, even me say Sofia.

I know I wasn't the best. I should have treated you better to you and even though I didn't say it as much as I should have. I did really love you Sofia. You will forever be a part of my mind and heart.

Love Alex

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Screaming into the void

It helps a bit. I see why you do it but I should really stop and jump ship off this toxic waste dump that is Tumblr

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Just because someone doesn't say it

just because someone doesn't say they love you doesn't mean they stop loving you

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Only Fans

We need to make a new OF that is ONLY FATHERS so those girl and redistribute the wealth. This will also provide them with positive father figures direct chatting. Win win

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Follow me

For further updates on my declining mental health be sure to hit like, subscribe and hit that bell.

[jumpbootsjamstring]

For someone

For someone who cries and begs that they deserved to be loved you really treat the ppl who actually loved you like shit.

[jumpbootsjamstring]

So easy how I forget.

Never honest a fuckin day in your life. Even know I have the heart to blur ur nudes U WERE SENDING UR FUCKING EX. Nevermind he was just 1 4 guys u were fucking to fill that hole you call a heart. You fucking lectured me cause I WATCHED PORN AND FOLLOWED COSPLAYERS WHILE U FUCKED UR EX AND CALLED ME A CUCK 150. IM ASHAMED to have been with you. Im embarrassed of you. Ill never forget how much of a lying piece of shit you are as long as I breathe on this god forsaken earth. You're not real ... ur fucked in the head. Im so fucking stupid.

Even years later ur the same. Maybe ur coming close to have enough cocks to satisfy you. CJs words ring true today "Fucking other guys doesn't say you want/love me"

Im going to kill myself one day its just a matter of time.

[jumpbootsjamstring]

I should just give up

My only girlfriend ever cheated on me with multiple guys. Had a Tinder while we were together. Lied about god knows what until I found out. Called me cuck, touch starved, incel and I forget what else. I SAW HER CHEAT ON ME ON HER FUCKING LAPTOP AND I WAS RETARDED ENOUGH TO KEEP TALKING TO HER. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP GOING AFTER THAT!!! TO LOOK HER IN THE EYES AND THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID. SOMEONE YOU LOVED JUST FUCKING STABS YOU.

What the actual fuck it wrong with me. My only ever girlfriend had to be crazy with borderline. The only woman I was with had to have a fuckin mental illness to be with me. What does that say about ME!!!! I wish I was brave enough to slit my wrists. My mind and body are rotting away and I just have to live with the knowledge I know.

But time heals all wounds right ... it took years but I could look at her again without thinking about what happened. So I try again with her and she tells me she gave a dude sloppy head. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT TO SOMEONE. WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T TELL SOMEONE THAT LET ALONE FUCKING MEEEEE!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE WHO WAS TRYING TO BE WITH YOU AGAIN! I DON'T GET IT. I'LL NEVER GET IT. Ill never understand. No number of BPD self help books will help understand how a person who seems they love and care for you could do that to you. Haven't Ive been through enough. All old wounds open up and I blow up.

but at the end Im the crazy loner incel cuck loser. Late Nights drive I think about speeding up, closing my eyes and letting go.

Nothing works out for me. I loved her and now she hates me. I hate me

[jumpbootsjamstring]

Im split

Im split between feeling bad for her suffering and upset by how she's betrayed me multiple times. The more I learn about BPD the more I learn its a living hell... then I feel bad. Then I think of the betrayal... then I get mad. THEN IT KEEPS GOING UNTIL MY HEAD SPINS & I WANNA DIE. I just want to forget

[jumpbootsjamstring]

I got Bumble premium for a day

I was spamming likes and I swear to god I swiped like on my ex fuck me. Kill me lord pls this isn't funny anymore. I wanna get off the ride.