juniperhillpatient

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I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997) dir. Jim Gillespie

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It's a perfect example of life imitating art imitating life. SCREAM 2 (1997), dir. by Wes Craven

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🌞

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my sleep schedule & schedule in general is all fucked up ever since the wedding I was in & got sick right after & I was too lazy to go down to the first floor to get my melatonin at midnight like usual so it’s like 2 am on a work night & I’m doing what I always do & watching horror movie list type videos until I fall asleep & this is my moment to say something brave. I’m going to be controversial. I have no reason for stating this publicly other than that I can’t sleep & im bored. When I hear the words “zombies” or “post apocalyptic” I instantly zone out. I don’t hear anything else after that ‘cause I don’t care. That’s my truth as a bad horror fan 😔

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Lydia, we're dead. I wanna be dead too. No! Lydia, being dead really doesn't make things any easier.

WINONA RYDER as LYDIA DEETZ Beetlejuice (1988)

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sometimes self-care is consuming a piece of media for the 174th time

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i was today years old when i learned that you can rub your crotch until something really good happans

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chat, i hate to break it to you, but i lowkey think buffy summers would be fluent in gen z-alpha slang nowadays, no cap. with how she adores puns and rearranging her vocabulary for shits and giggles? oh, she definitely latches onto every new wawe of spoken english change.

spike hates that he gets it, cause they`re both fascinated with language and its fluidity and how they can play with words in their speech, giving them double meaning. plus buffy`s usage of the slang rubs off on him for sure, sometimes they both just throw their recent vocal stims at each other as a way of communication lmao (i so see buffy going out and saying to her stay at home husband "i wish you well. i wish you well in hell BWAHAHA" as a goodbye).

giles fucking hates it - we know it, no further explanation needed. i think jenny would`ve loved it :( for the same reason buffy loves and spike tolerates it, and she would`ve joyfully annoyed giles every day.

willow tries to get it, but then she enters the waters of skibidi toilet - and she is immediately broken. but she likes buffy`s enthusiasm!

tara always just nods politely and awkwardly smiles at buffy. "you`re doing amazing, sweetie" type of vibe.

xander tries to be hip with the kids, but he sounds like a creepy boomer. just take an l, man, and go take a nap.

dawn is a millenial, she has a long way to go... no but fr, i think she is kinda like buffy and understands 70% of what buffy or the kids are saying and that`s fine by her, she can correctly use the phrases until they get purely brainrotted.

angel understands shit. this dude ate rats in ny, but he wouldn`t be able to understand even yo mama jokes.

buffy: chat, we need to lock the fuck in with researching this new big bad, cause i just lowkey almost got cooked.

xander: yeah, if it weren`t for the goat over there, xan-the-man, you would`ve gotten yourself into some fine shyt.

spike: don`t be pressed over it, she gets it every day, hits different everytime, right, honey?

willow: wait... isn`t fine shyt actually-

buffy: xan, i`m so sorry to break it to you, but you`re legit giving delulu for real right now.

giles: ... i`m not even asking you to be normal people, i`m just asking you to speak proper english for at least 10 minutes, good god.

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truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

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I lost the video but recently someone said “y’all want iconic 2000s pop stars again but can’t even handle Sabrina Carpenter” and I think that sums up roughly what’s going on

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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the depressing number of good Spike metas I can’t reblog even if they’re well written & mostly good analysis on one of my favorite characters of all time because Spike’s ability to love & have goodness despite his soulless nature is framed as proof of how “uniquely” good & heroic Spike himself is rather than a strong example in a main character’s arc of one of the most consistently interesting contradictions of the in universe lore provided to us in the entire Buffyverse…

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"What do you want from a remake" I DON'T WANT THEM. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER SOULLESS NOSTALGIA-FILLED CASH-GRAB. I DON'T WANT ANY OF THEM. I DON'T WANT ADAPTATIONS THAT KILL THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE OF THE THING THEY WERE BASED UPON NEITHER THE SHOT-BY-SHOT DESATURATED RECREATIONS. I WANT ORIGINAL STORIES!!! NOT REMAKES OF MOVIES THAT AIN'T EVEN 30 YEARS OLD!!!​AAGGGGGHHH

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fanfic titles are like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

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having sex with me is always incest because I consider us all brothers and sisters in our shared struggle against capital

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Dropping this here.