juniperprue - Tumblr blog

[juniperprue]

fate + divinity.

i wonder which will happen first--

removing your copy of 

How to Change Your Mind from 

the depths of my canvas bag or

24 hours without opening our old conversation thread,

willing you to send one last

thought. lying to myself, calling it 

closure. ironic.

that keeps the door open.

because i’ll have to respond, right?

then you’ll respond and we’ll just keep

responding, resuscitating a connection

neither of us want to mourn.

time is our power of attorney

both of us too delirious on a lust

so insane, Divinity stepped in to make it temporary

as punishment. 

intervention, divine.

[juniperprue]

zoloftian philosophy.

The thing about grief is this:

Life does not stop.

Your job does not stop needing

A tush whose warmth comes from your barely beating pulse.

Your partner will not ignore

the way your words

slice their heart in an attempt to fill 

the voids of your own--a defense mechanism

unhealed trauma understands.

Your bills cannot go unpaid

and tears have no currency exchange rate.

Your dishes

Your laundry

Your body

Still need washed and put away, everyday.

Indifferent to the fact that you’re still

stuck on yesterday.

Your energy does not get a break--

People still require your mind

even if it feels hollow inside.

Your happiness will wax and wane.

Some days you smile at the memories

Some days they bring you pain.

But the thing about grief is this:

Life does not stop. 

[juniperprue]

overdose.

midwest august heat still rising from my skin at 10 pm

summer’s salty perspiration coats my upper lip

anticipation, my lip balm. 

reapplied in between the syllables of his affections,

words flowing from his mouth drop into mine. 

cardamom coated confections 

that my brain metabolizes into dopamine-- 

activate months of lucid dreaming.

the outside temperature decreases, my tolerance of him increases

take my dose higher.

his first words to me were

i want to make your eyes roll in the back of your head

.    .    .

he kept his word.

[juniperprue]

phobia.

when you name it, it’s real so

we called it limbo.

maybe giving it a cheesy, tourist island game

title would make it less haunting. no,

just sounds gimmicky.

we contorted our bodies--

our personalities to pass under the bar of

suspicion that this would not last.

[juniperprue]

exes and oh hell no’s.

because our brains function similarly

i know you must be up writing too.

not as bluntly as i do,

decorating your narrative with

metaphors and accent walls of personification.

at least now when you call me a cunt,

you’ll do so with baby’s breath in your voice.