justbeingl

[justbeingl]

really struggling with boredom at home at the moment I don't know whether it's the antidepressants I hate staying at home but we're also trying to save money. Luckily I've started the gym so that's getting out the house and we are looking for stuff to do at home I'm just struggling and wish I could be out all be the time

[justbeingl]

I saw the diabetes nurse yesterday and while she's not happy with my readings (I can't blame her Im not either) she wasn't concesending about it like others can be she actually gave some good advice which is rare the really good news is I'm now 10 stone which has been my goal for years and I'm being put back on the freestyle libre which is great I'm hopeful it'll work out this time I've just got to wait until 3rd December grr lol I need more patience.

In other news I'm going back to the gym I'm so excited. I've been diagnosed with carpal tunnel and been referred to physio and orthopedics but my gosh it hurts they can't give me anymore painkillers than I'm already on so hey ho lol

My mental health is doing good I did have a few bad days but I feel better now I did have a review on my antidepressants and they're keeping them the same for a month.

[justbeingl]

I feel abit stressed out today like I'm not doing enough but I am? We went out for my mother in law's birthday yesterday and it was fun but I think I'm just abit tired. I feel ok most days today's just not it lol

The last week or so I've been getting pain in my left hand it wakes me up at night it's pins and needles and just aches I almost got a ice pack last night I suspect it's carpal tunnel as my mom and sister have it . Sometimes I feel I just need to try harder to be less panicky.

Me and my fiance are going to the cinema later so I'm hoping it's a good time to take my mind off whatever's going on

[justbeingl]

Diabetes is frustrating and so are the multiple calls every month off nurses who think because they went to college they know how living with the desease is it's part of the reason I went off the libre to start with but now im feeling stronger I'm thinking should I give it another go? I can just tell them my opinion when they call whether they listen or not I'd have to do what's best for me the only thing that's putting me off is last time the descrepincies in the readings were crazy I'm talking the libre was telling me I was hypo but my normal blood test was saying I was 10 point something but was I drinking the sugary drinks back then? If I'm completely honest yes I was

I did buy a laptop and I've wtote alot! I'm really enjoying it so much so I'm thinking of doing a course but that'll be next year now I keep writing said too much lol! It's really just for me but I want to better myself in every way.

[justbeingl]

I've started writing a book I'd wanted to for a while and ever since I started writing on here I've just fallen in love with expressing myself with words and I think I have quite a good imagination.

It's a love story between a 18 year old and a 32 year old his family love her but her family are not happy I'm just thinking of side stories because obviously that can't be it it would be a very short book but my mental health is doing amazing obviously because I wouldn't have even started doing this a few weeks ago. I'm thinking maybe my antidepressants may need upping a bit because I've had a few dizzy spells nothing major but definitely creeping back in.

Thinking of getting a laptop for myself nothing expensive just so I can write (my hand hurts!) I write this on my phone but I don't think I can write a whole book on a 6" screen or whatever it is.

[justbeingl]

I need to stop stressing I'm literally stressed that if I don't do the dishwasher on time someone else will then me and my fiance will be called lazy. My logical mind knows better but I guess that was depression is. I am feeling better and I'm doing better going to bed earlier and waking up earlier (touch wood my sleep pattern is a hit and miss) but isn't it weird I never thought about little things like that as being anxiety? I manage to talk myself down from it mostly I know it's not that easy for some and for me it's not I just push it to the back of my mind.

One thing I am enjoying lately is cooking I've cooked a curry for my family and now I want to try a Bolognese I didn't poison anyone last time (my step dad looked very wary lol)

[justbeingl]

I've just got back from Blackpool with my fiance it was amazing and a much needed break from life. While we were there we did:

Madame Tussauds

Pleasure beach

The illuminations

Sea life center

The Piers

Crazy golf

And spent WAYYY too much money in the arcades lol! I did miss my dogs though and I'm happy to be home walking them and being up til god knows when because she wants out.

My dizziness is pretty much non existent at this point apart from when I got off rollercoasters but I don't think I can blame my body for that I think even my fiance was dizzy after going up and down at 70mph.

Life's good at the moment and I hope it stays that way.

[justbeingl]

So … they've put me on antidepressants and to be honest they've worked wonders my dizziness has more or less gone I'm sleeping better I have more energy maybe this is the breakthrough I've been waiting for. I'm also taking my painkillers properly which is 100% helping and I'm going to sleep and waking up earlier. No sugary pop which is working wonders for my diabetes normally I'm counting the days (more like hours!!) Since I had one I really hope this lasts because I feel like me again.

Until next time

L 😊

[justbeingl]

've fallen off the wagon again feels like the 100th time and to be honest it's probably damn close. I'm so upset with myself especially after my last appointment when my diabetes doctor said he was proud of me but it's been over 3 months since they tested my heart I wish they'd get back to me and say there's nothing wrong because maybe just maybe they could start treating me for vertigo and I won't need the sugary drinks to get me through every day. Everything just feels like so much effort these days and I'm scared it'll always be this way. I don't lie about my sugar intake my fiance and mom know im out of control I hate letting them down… I hate letting me down I'm in so much pain I'm so tired I'm not me anymore and I miss me because I'm pretty awesome I'll get back to me again I hope tomorrows a great day to start again even if it is for the 101st time.

[justbeingl]

Hi! I'm L,I'm 28 years old,I live with my family, my fiance and my 2 dogs who are my life. I enjoy spending time with people I love I like swimming taking my dogs on walks browsing the shops doing puzzles and watching TV. I also live with type 1 diabetes. Type one is when your pancreas shuts down and doesn't produce what you need to combat sugar naturally so you must keep checking your bloods and take insulin and try to live as healthy lifestyle as you can you are still allowed to eat sugar! ( Common misconception agmonst non diabetics) I guess that's what this is about I'm not here to give anyone advice believe me I've had my ups and downs (although today I had my appointment with my doctor and he says I'm doing well yay!) But I'll admit for the last year I've struggled and although my family and friends are amazing even they don't understand totally about living life with diabetes and I mean how could they? It's not easy physically and mentally it is overwhelming and that's okay! We power through. I've had t1d since I was 10 I remember the day I was diagnosed I hadn't been well for a while I was thirsty,tired and just feeling ill then one day at school I took a turn I had awful stomach pain so they called my mom to come and get me. She took me to the doctor and he checked me over and told my mom he thought it was diabetes and I needed to go to the hospital I looked at my mom like what's that? And so begins the last 18 years of my life and for the most part I handled it well except when others tried to get involved I can't be the only one that gets annoyed? Especially the why are you so high? Why aren't you handling it? The past 2 years have been especially hard I've physically (wow my readings!) And mentally during the first lockdown I started having dizzy spells at first we thought it was stress (I have been known to stress over anything although not as bad anymore!) But they continued even when life got back to semi normal (will it ever be normal again) infact they got worse I was having falls and if I'm honest just feeling crappy. I found lucozade helped even when I wasn't hypo ( I know bad L!) I've had so many comments and believe me nobody was more disappointed in me more than myself I felt so guilty that my readings were out of control but the dizziness was taking over my life still is to be honest I've had test after test MRIs heart monitors alot of tests and at the moment they can't work out what it is it's frustrating it really is! Nobody really knows what anyone's going through Ive had stern words with my doctor about my readings and sometimes I feel like all people care about is my bloods (my sane side knows that's not true) and I've tried no, I am trying to keep off sugary drinks and I think I'm doing ok (I'm trying my hardest!) If today's anything to go by I must be doing something right! So I thought I'd start this blog just to talk cough* vent! If you read this blog whether you have diabetes or don't I hope this helps you feel less alone or just understand.