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[justhannigramfics]

I don’t know which author needs to hear this right now but even if you never update your wip i would never regret reading it a time of joy is never wasted

[justhannigramfics]

Will was awakened by his own heartbeat which indicated that sooner or later his heart might burst out from his chest. Covered in cold sweat, he tried to quiet his heavy breathing and focus on a point on the ceiling.

He would not wake Molly up again with his panic attacks.

There, in the darkness of the room, not sure if he was awake or not or even alive, he tried to sooth himself by counting. Anything that would distract his attention from his despair would do.

The darkness of the room was pierced by the dim light of the lamp from the other side of the bed. Will instinctively closed his eyes, as it he would be in fact sleeping soundly. Even if his t-shirt was damp. Even if his chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"Will?"

When Hannibal's voice came from next to him, Will finally allowed himself to exhale properly as he was starting to come back to his senses.

"It's fine." He replied as he opened his eyes to make sure that Hannibal was indeed there.

"You and I have different definitions for that word." He said and rolled to the other side, ready to get up from their bed.

"What are you doing?" Will asked, now fully aware of where he was.

"I am bringing you a glass of water from the kitchen. Need anything else?"

"Just stay here." He demanded.

"I'm staying here then." Hannibal said and lay back down, facing Will. His hand brushed away some sweaty curls off his forehead. "I'm assuming you had one fascinating dream."

"It was delightful." Will agreed and smiled defeated. "I woke up thinking you were locked up and I was sleeping next to my wife."

Will was not yet sure if Hannibal preferred to hear "Molly" or "my wife". He was, in fact, sure he preferred neither.

"And is that a nightmare for you, Will?"

"Idiot." Will's reply came instantly. He considered pushing Hannibal off the bed. It wouldn't be the first time. "Don't joke about that."

Hannibal bit his lower lip, visibly trying to keep a neutral expression. "You have more nightmares about that wife than I have about being locked up."

"My nightmares are less about "that wife" and more about your absence, for your own knowledge."

"Then I will just never leave again."

"You'd better keep that promise, dumbass."

"Romance is not dead."

"No, but you will be if you don't let me go back to sleep." Will warned him, turning his back to him.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."

Will let out an audible laughter which he had to muffle into his pillow. "You're a sick man."

"Your sick man." Hannibal corrected him and spooned him, burying his face in Will's curls.

""

[justhannigramfics]

i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

[justhannigramfics]

the one thing i want to be able to do as a writer is make people come back to something ive written. i want that piece of text to haunt them, i want their thoughts to be briefly consumed by this. i want this to be something they remember long after its time. thats the one thing i want to do

[justhannigramfics]

-yeah, so I started doing the opposite. I write all day even though I’m exhausted and now my body is reacting as if it’s sleep deprived because I won’t take a nap

Pros to the weather being warm:

-better mood

-spending time outside

-literally such a good mood

-so many ideas for my stories while I work

Cons:

-tired from work so now I sleep instead of write even though I know exactly what’s going to happen next and the only thing I want to do is write it but my body is exhausted and begs for a nap

[justhannigramfics]

Coworker: “so what’s the novel about that you’re writing?”

Me (is actually writing fanfiction): “haha. A serial killer.”

Coworker: “oh? About him succeeding in his goals, or getting caught?”

Me, sweating nervously because I could answer either way honestly: “haha. I haven’t decided yet.”

[justhannigramfics]

"Since laryngitis is not contagious I told Will he should definitely come to work today. Especially now that the Ripper dropped a body. He doesn't need to talk much. He can do his thing and then write a report on it." Jack explained to Hannibal as they arrived at the crime scene. "No one gets hurt and we get even closer to catching the Ripper."

"It's quite cold today." Hannibal commented as a tiny snow flake landed on his palm. "Will agreed I suppose?"

"He did, yes. But we have only been texting so I am not sure what state he actually is in."

Will was already there, next to Beverly, looking around the crime scene, examining something in particular. He was so focused that he didn't even hear Hannibal and Jack.

"Will." Hannibal greeted him. To that Will and Beverly turned to them.

"Will can't speak. Like, at all. I am doing the talking for him today." Beverly explained. Will rolled his eyes helplessly. "He is not thrilled about it but I can do a pretty good job."

"He definitely should not force himself." Hannibal agreed, frowning in concern. If Will was not making any effort to talk then it definitely meant his voice was gone. His usual strategy of ignoring any symptoms he would have did not work in this case.

Jack sighed loudly, probably understanding that Will should have indeed stayed home to rest instead of standing outside in negative temperatures.

"He wants to say that your coat looks majestic, Dr. Lecter." Beverly commented. "Jack, I'm not allowed to say what Will thinks about you at this very moment. I really want to keep my job."

Will didn't protest to any of the things Beverly said and pulled out a little bottle of pills. Hannibal was wondering if Will knew that aspirin won't help that much with getting back his voice. Was his throat sore as well? Probably. Will wouldn't complain about stuff like that even when his voice was perfectly fine.

Hannibal wished he would know that kind of things.

He wished Will would allow him to care for him.

That is why as soon as they were done with the crime scene, he asked Will to get into his car instead of Beverly's. He wanted to open his mouth to protest but the stern look on Hannibal's stern expression made him abandon his attempt to force his larynx.

As soon as they arrived at Hannibal's place, he started making some tea in a navy blue kettle.

"Ginger and chamomile tea does wonders for a sore throat." He explained as Will followed him with his eyes around the kitchen.

Will felt partially powerless and partially grateful. He could admit to himself that other than popping pills, he usually did nothing about feeling sick. He mostly took medication to function at work, he wouldn't need those at home.

"Thank you." He whispered.

Hannibal felt something warm inside himself at hearing his voice for the first time that day.

"You should have told- well, wrote Jack that you are too sick to work, Will. Just so you know, I'm not expecting you for our therapy session tomorrow." Hannibal said as he moved the cattle away from the electric stove.

"No, I can do it." Will whispered a bit louder and coughed immediately after.

"Therapy implies having conversations. And by canceling your appointment I don't mean that I don't want to see you tomorrow. You should definitely come here for dinner." Hannibal went on while pouring tea in two cups. "Sitting with you in silence is not something that I dread."

Will smiled at that. When it came to the two of them, silence was indeed not an obstacle. There was always something to project and something to observe.

Hannibal added a generous spoon of honey in Will's cup and none in his own.

Will opened his mouth to say something more but he coughed again. Hannibal passed him a note book and a pen.

"We can pass notes."

"How romantic" Will wrote to that, earning a genuine smile from Hannibal. Then he kept on writing and then handed the notebook back Hannibal.

"Since I can't talk and you insist on having me around I can finally do what you've been asking me for ages."

"And what have I been asking you for ages?" Hannibal asked curiously as he gave Will the notebook.

"You can draw me in your sketchbook and I promise not to move or make any comment about how boring it is." He wrote back and raised his eyebrows, watching Hannibal's expression as he was reading his words.

"Are you sure?" Hannibal asked trying to conceal his excitement behind a satisfied expression. He was already picturing each pencil or charcoal he could use.

Will nodded.

[justhannigramfics]

@quillienvii she will gladly accept you as a willing sacrifice, but she requests you wait until the harvest moon. That is when all the brujitas awake to dance around the bonfire.

Cat getting in the way and falling asleep there when I was trying to write. 30 dead, 86 injured.

[justhannigramfics]

Cat getting in the way and falling asleep there when I was trying to write. 30 dead, 86 injured.

[justhannigramfics]

"I once had a very stupid fight with my wife." Will says as he watches Hannibal pouring the Sauvignon blanc in their glasses.

"Not that stupid if you felt the need to bring it up now." Hannibal said as he lifted his gaze from his glass to Will. Even though they've been together for a few months now, he still felt something inside himself getting triggered every time he would bring her up.

As if she would materialize in front of them and take Will away from him. Again. He was not sure if he preferred it when Will called her "Molly" instead of "my wife". Both felt like the screech of chalk on a blackboard.

The term "wife" however, made it feel less personal since it only highlighted a title given by a piece of paper. Mundane. Profane. The piece of paper was not enough for Will to stay with her. The problem with that construction was therefore not "wife", it was the possessive pronoun "my".

Well, technically she was Will's wife until their marriage would get terminated. But Hannibal didn't want Will to use "my" for anyone. And this has been something which has started from before going to prison and before fleeing to Florence.

Quite territorial of him to gain his man back and still act that way even when they had literally jumped off a cliff together. No piece of paper could beat that.

"It's the wine that reminded me." Will explained.

Hannibal arched an eyebrow. What did Will mean by that? He hadn't even had a chance to drink yet, how could the wine bring back such memories already?

"You know, me and Molly hardly ever fought."

Hannibal blinked a few times and tried to keep a neutral expression on his face. There it was, the name as well.

"I don't think, in fact, that this was a fight either. Now that I think about it, my confrontational style is not what a wife is looking for."

Hannibal looked at him with interest, not missing the way he said "a wife". So general. So unimportant. A wife like any other wife, nothing unique.

"Your confrontational style is indeed too passive for a wife." He agreed. "Passive and acidic."

From threatening him with a gun, to almost stabbing him, to starting his therapy again, to "dropping the mic", Hannibal was sure that Molly hasn't even experienced a small percentage of what Will could be capable of.

Will hummed as he picked up his glass and stared at his reflection in the clear white wine.

"So what happened?" Hannibal asked, now interested.

"She paired the fish I caught that day with the wrong wine."

Hannibal parted his lips slightly and didn't take his gaze away from Will, searching him from head to toes. "Was that a problem? To you?"

"No, but it would have been a real problem to you."

Hannibal felt the need to bring his own glass to his lips.

"You wouldn't have made such a mistake. And you wouldn't have brushed it off. You know, Molly - she's a g&t type of person. So it wasn't that big of a deal to her. And I laughed it off."

"But it wasn't that easy."

"It wasn't that easy and she noticed that it was deeper than that. It was not that I was trying to play the alpha male, trying to teach her how to drink wine. She was smart, she knew that was not my intention." Will said.

"So what followed?"

"The reason why we functioned for those few years was exactly because she knew not to get too close. We were both aware she wouldn't like it if she did. Which kind of sounds pathetic since marriage involves all that "for better and worse" thing."

"An overused statement which people are nowadays taking for granted." Hannibal added. "Your marriage did not entail the "for worse" part, did it?"

"Out of mutual convenience. Since "my worst" was something both of us wanted to stay away from. We had all the good parts. So instead of trying to figure out why I was so bothered by her poor choice of wine, she told me to go buy the right type of wine if I disagree with the rosé. And we both laughed."

"And did you?" Hannibal asked, a bit amused, a bit bitter.

Will looked around the room and then looked at him only. "Here I am, I did exactly what she said. Went for the wine that could be properly paired with myself."

Hannibal knew that at that point every effort to keep a neutral face would be futile. He was beaming right there, under Will's gaze.

[justhannigramfics]

Being a cannibalism writer, the factoid about biting through a carrot being equatable force wise to biting through a finger is just frustrating.

I’m eating carrots right now, but I’m positive they’re nothing like fingers. The way they just pop apart after a moment, definitely flesh and bone wouldn’t do that. And don’t even get me started on the texture and taste. Barely anything feels right about it.

[justhannigramfics]

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

[justhannigramfics]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve written a fic that centers around a severe form of trauma, only to get comments telling me it’s comforting and therapeutic, I’d have TWO nickels.

Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[justhannigramfics]

Getting a comment from someone who’s new to the fandom is like nothing else. Not only does it show that we are still growing in numbers despite how long it’s been since the last episode, but someone who just got here has found me, and enjoyed my silly little stories about these gay people. I want to wrap this person in a blanket and show them everything I love in this fandom.

[justhannigramfics]

Update: wrote a full chapter of this today, because I remembered this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it all day at work. It’s going much better than I expected.

Has anyone else seen the movie Ladyhawke? Anyone else thought it could potentially be a very good Hannigram AU?

[justhannigramfics]

Pros to the weather being warm:

-better mood

-spending time outside

-literally such a good mood

-so many ideas for my stories while I work

Cons:

-tired from work so now I sleep instead of write even though I know exactly what’s going to happen next and the only thing I want to do is write it but my body is exhausted and begs for a nap