justleeping

[justleeping]

Hello my lovelies, after failing miserably the first few times on my journey to lose weight (and get fit, more on that later), its time i try again, i want that confidence back, i want to feel healthy and more importantly, i dont want to constantly check on my weight to make sure im staying on track, i want to feel it. So for those of you that followed me a few years back, youd know i was knee deep in like, 3 eating disorders and i kinda became a walking (somehow) calorie counter. I was at 145 (135 at my lowest but that lasted about 5 minutes) and eating... gosh. Basically fruit and not much of it. I usually ate paleo which seemed to be working at the time, but it was an excuse to undereat. Needless to say i gained. Like, i /gained/. About a month or 2 back, i was at 189. Ouch. Eating vegan but with no limit on how much i ate or if something is good for me (cake and speghetti all day everyday). I got that way by being in a highly stressful situation and being unemployed. I wasnt moving around and i cooked to deal with my problems. Having no limit on food meant my stomach was huge and could handle 3 servings of pasta, and i thought i was being healthy just because it had some vegetables in it. These things happen, and if it happens to you, dont feel discouraged. I looked at my environment, looked at how and what i was eating, and i tweaked some things, and i also have the help of my roommate who wants to get fit too, buddy systems help a lot. Over the past month ive been working hard to change everything. I am now at 180 as of this morning, and this feels like the actual start, because the easy part (the first 5-10 pounds when you're medically overweight) is over. This is now how i go about everything First, i had to shrink my stomach. This part sucks and can be triggering, but if done successfully, it can make things so much easier later on. Its really simple, basically you fast (or have really smal portions of fruits and veg) for a couple days and work more food in slowly until you feel a healthy serving of something is enough to tell your body its full. Dont over do this pls. Next, i needed to be more active. Luckly ive been in the middle of moving, so ive been active because of that, but i also picked up spinning poi, i try and get out of the house and walk places, i do squats when i wait for my pot to boil when i cook, little stuff. Literally anything is better than doing nothing. And as time passes, work in some more exercises, i prefer small floor exercises. I then had to completely change what my body took in. Things i cut out (aside from small treats now and then) are gluten/wheat products (i usually use rice products instead), sugar/added sugar (fruit is okay), anything on the label that is a chemical or additive, red 40 (this is more so i stay away from candies and boxed snacks. Plus i think its tested on animals so its good to not have it in your life) and any beverage that isnt water, tea (no sugar) or juice (100% with not added anything, also diluted with water) Things i added.. gosh. Every vegetable i can find, i go to asian markets and experiment with new ingredients, keeps me not bored. But first i had to think about why i put certain foods in my body and how much. So i boiled it down to something pretty simple. In a meal i should be getting a serving of protein, fiber, carbs, fat (healthy fat), and the biggest portion of my plate should be vegetables. See the vegan food pyramid. So the goal is to not get double anything. If i make tacos, i shouldnt have both rice and a tortilla. If i panfry something in coconut oil, maybe skip the avocado or visa versa. If im having pasta, no potatoes. If im having beans, no tofu. But double veggies is good. Very good. Also i try to not rely on soy but if i do, then theres my protein and probably a couple other things depending on whats in the product. So example. Yesterday, i asked myself what do i basically want. Something asian and noodley. So rice noodles, boom, no more carbs. I found that i had bell pepper, bok choy, radishes, a few other veggies, boom, a nice variety of veggies done. Now protein... cubed tofu sounds nice. A fat, coconut oil for the stirfry, but not more than a table spoon. My fiber was covered in my veggies, nothings doubles, perfect. So i had a veggie and tofu stirfry on top of rice vermecelli noodles with a lime and chives on top. I find that keeping to this strategy is easy and its easy to fix in your next meal if you mess up. Did you double carb for breakfast? No carbs for lunch. Although i do feel having a double protein for either breakfast or lunch can be good. Especially if youre working out. And.. thats basically it. My methods been working great for me, it allows for small snacks and with exercise, i feel my fat melting off. Stay healthy friends, and stay positive.

[justleeping]

I started taking care of my insides, eating whole food and not eating til im so full that i feel sick. I feel a lot better, and i can feel myself growing stronger :)

[justleeping]

You are a multidimensional being. Your potential is endless and should be recognized. You are not just here to pay bills and socialize. You are here to awaken. You were born into this Earthly existence to realize that you are God, playing the game of being human.

[justleeping]

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

is your room messy or clean?

what color are your eyes?

do you like your name? why?

what is your relationship status? 

describe your personality in 3 words or less

what color hair do you have?

what kind of car do you drive? color?

where do you shop?

how would you describe your style?

favorite social media account

what size bed do you have? 

any siblings?

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

favorite snapchat filter? 

favorite makeup brand(s)

how many times a week do you shower?

favorite tv show?

shoe size?

how tall are you?

sandals or sneakers? 

do you go to the gym? 

describe your dream date

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

what color socks are you wearing? 

how many pillows do you sleep with?

do you have a job? what do you do? 

how many friends do you have? 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

whats your favorite candle scent? 

3 favorite boy names

3 favorite girl names

favorite actor? 

favorite actress? 

who is your celebrity crush?

favorite movie? 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

money or brains? 

do you have a nickname? what is it? 

how many times have you been to the hospital?

top 10 favorite songs

do you take any medications daily? 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

what is your biggest fear? 

how many kids do you want? 

whats your go to hair style?

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

who is your role model? 

what was the last compliment you received?

what was the last text you sent?

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

what is your dream car? 

opinion on smoking?

do you go to college? 

what is your dream job? 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

do you have freckles? 

do you smile for pictures?

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

have you ever peed in the woods? 

do you still watch cartoons? 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Favorite dipping sauce? 

what do you wear to bed? 

have you ever won a spelling bee?

 what are your hobbies?

can you draw? 

do you play an instrument?

what was the last concert you saw? 

tea or coffee?

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

do you want to get married?

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

what color looks best on you? 

do you miss anyone right now? 

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

do you believe in ghosts?

what is your biggest pet peeve? 

last person you called`

favorite ice cream flavor? 

regular oreos or golden oreos? 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

what shirt are you wearing? 

what is your phone background?

are you outgoing or shy?

do you like it when people play with your hair?

do you like your neighbors? 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

have you ever been high? 

have you ever been drunk? 

last thing you ate? 

favorite lyrics right now

summer or winter? 

day or night? 

dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

favorite month? 

what is your zodiac sign

 who was the last person you cried in front of? 

[justleeping]

I grew up overweight, a binger. Then i started under eating, an anorexic and a bulimic. I've lost weight and gained it back 3 times because of these disorders. I've decided to just be healthy and strong, and weight comes second. Today i had a normal plate of food. I didnt go for seconds, i didnt under serve, and thats huge for me. I finally believe in myself to be healthy. Very happy rn :)

[justleeping]

It takes so much strength to stay gentle and soft and kind in this world.

[justleeping]

sometimes you just buy yourself fresh flowers, not just because you can – but because you should.

[justleeping]

Play time!

[justleeping]

Go outside and say hello to some birdies, breathe some fresh air, make your favorite blend of hot tea. Smile, you are whole.

[justleeping]

Believe in your strengths, do art, watch your favorite movie, make lemon water, be good to yourself 💜

[justleeping]

What is something positive that you did for yourself today? 💜

[justleeping]

I have been inactive for quite a bit. Its been well over a year since i touched this blog. It used to be a pro eating disorder blog, and then a recovery blog. But i want to make a change, and i want to help people and inspire them to see that its okay to want to improve yourself and love yourself at the same time. I hope all the people who were following me support me. If not, i know a lot of you were ED warriors and i wish the best of luck to you. I'll be keeping my old posts to show that your mindset can change and that weight and happiness are not synonomous. I am heavier than i was. Im also a vegan now. I'll probably change the name of my blog and all that but, it's nice to be back :)

[justleeping]

do you know what’s nice to see? girls enjoying food. girls celebrating their hunger rather than suppressing it. girls declaring their love of food instead of denying it. girls eating wholeheartedly and non-apologetically. and nowadays that is very difficult to find

[justleeping]

So uh, had my first threeway today. I discovered that I like girls. I really like girls.

[justleeping]

Emotional abuse is still abuse. Even if they say they love you. Even if they send you smiley face text messages to mask their behavior. Even if your abuser is your mother. Seek help, even if you’re afraid no one will listen.

[justleeping]

Why Change is a Good Thing

1. It stops life becoming predictable and boring 2. It offers us new challenges and opportunities 3. It forces us to move outside our comfort zone 4. It makes us more flexible and adaptable 5. It helps is to appreciate the things we truly value 6. It helps us to grow, and to have a fuller life.

[justleeping]

r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???