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i (117 m) keep having intrusive thoughts about my gf (f 17) being hit by a meteor or eaten (by me)

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credit to op. lost my shit when i saw this

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twilight but instead of a dramatic reveal about how edward’s a vampire bella just shows up to class one day and slides a copy of Dracula across the table to see what happens 

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sooo like . . . where can I find a totally completely 100% absolutely legal definitely NOT not paid for version of Midnight Sun online

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bella in twilight: edward is the best and kindest person I have ever met

edward in midnight sun: Sixteen Fun Ways to Slaughter Your Science Class

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Guys... I have an idea:

We can't just let her do this. We cannot. So here's the plan!

Let's get active. Tweet, write letters. Tell Stephenie Meyer and her publishers EXACTLY what we think of a Jacob/Renesmee series. Describe the dangers of child grooming. She can't be allowed to do this. We cannot let it happen.

If we can all get Midnight Sun for free and donate to the Quileute Tribe and shitpost and meme and post here daily, we can do this.

Fight back.

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i feel like edward cullen would be thoroughly repulsed by my thoughts. it’s just an absolute wreck up there and even i can’t stand them sometimes. i apologize in advance for any mind readers that have to hear that

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I remember seeing a different post pointing out that Native Americans are basically already living a post-apocalyptic world.

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(On the teacup ride)

Sam, Embry, Leah and Paul: *spinning normally and chatting*

Quil, Jake, Jared and Seth: *flying around in circles as fast as possible and screaming*

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Jake: I fucking hate Edward

Paul: hey watch your language there are kids here

Jake: oh sorry

Jake: I fucking hate...

Jake: *covers Seths ears*

Jake: Edward

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The cheap Halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

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emily’s house literally just feels so homey. the boys all acting like brothers shoving each other around, the smell of giant blueberry muffins in the oven, the smiles and laughter all around... bella couldn’t have found a better place to be during new moon

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Me, reading Eclipse and Jacob’s on his dumb shit: This is NOT how Billy raised you.

Me remembering that Billy had Jake crash Bella’s prom to tell her to break up with Edward:  perhaps billy did raise a bitch.

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Presenting you with Twilight gals in modern(ish) fashion aesthetics! Featuring:

Retro Bella

E-girl Alice

Dark Academia Rosalie

And dark grunge Leah

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idk man. i feel like if rosalie really longs for the simple human life then oh boy she must love charlie. that man out there livin the most simplest of lives and then his dumass of a daughter turns up and tryin to ruin that like wtf?! no wonder rose doesn’t like bella. 

can u just imagine bella turns up at the cullens and rose is like  “so hows things at home?” “oh me and edwa…” “bitch. i mean hows charlie?”

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i’d like to think that rosalie hale would wear different variations of a hot pink juicy couture track suits to auto-repair class just to piss off the boys in there. 

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the REAL™️ jacob will always be the sweet boy who loves and cares for his dad, likes to roughhouse with friends, build cars, go to bonfires late with cold pizza and warm sodas, and is a supportive friend. he’s a protector. he’s a brother. he’s the sunshine.