k4t4str0phic

[k4t4str0phic]

Initially it confused a 7-year-old me

seeing a 72-year-old second grader staring back at me

Echoes of Manaoag , the yellow schoolhouse across the street

Basketball with the neighbor boys in the ever-blazing heat

All the love of a lola shown in the twinkle of her eye

to live, to work, to give, to die.

In those eyes told a story unknown

A story of sacrifice I wouldn’t understand until grown

Dropped out of the second grade; she was born to provide

a student becomes a worker, no choice but to abide

Becomes mother to a child of Balikbayan dreams

believes that nothing becomes everything in the land of the free

She follows down her pathway learning new ABC’s

but when you're an alien it’s not enough to please

Familiar to foreign when she ships herself away

Everything she owns, pockets of pesos in array

She meets 7 year-old-me but the barrier holds her tongue

Later remarries white; a new chance to feel young

But like worn out dreams, life will fade away and die

which is what she said at his funeral, and she didn’t understand why

the country she resides in has never felt free

not free for the residents with a complexion like me.

In every waking hour until the dark of the night

working to no avail, not a saving grace in sight.

From the clangor of dishes to the aching of bone

From worker, maid, and “thief;”

and now she’s alone.

So the sea of broken promises returned her home with the tide

because no one told her pesos were pointless on the other side.

[k4t4str0phic]

oh how i love unlivable but deeeeply relatable and complex female characters 🫶🏻

makes me want to write a book

[k4t4str0phic]

Amanda Ba (@amandapandaba)

Lover; She is Reading

Oil on canvas

[k4t4str0phic]

Walten files sketches & rambles

Drew this in math class, I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes

[k4t4str0phic]

the realization this brought me made me cry actual tears.. [not mine]

[k4t4str0phic]

My Year of Rest and Relaxation, a Book Review

When I was younger, I would go through bouts of unemployment. During these periods, time became a blur, my sleep schedule became erratic, and looking back, there's very little I remember outside of playing way too much Kingdom Hearts. If you've experienced this, you'll find this book relatable.

Ottessa Moshfegh's My Year of Rest and Relaxation is about a nameless protagonist who's dissatisfied with her life and decides to hibernate for a year under the watchful eye of the shittiest psychiatrist in New York City. It's a fairly short book, under 200 pages, due to the fact that the protagonist spends most of her time unconsious.

I found this book to be absolutely fascinating. It fits into the niche I like to call "sad woman literature" along the likes of Bunny, Earthlings, and There's No Such Thing as an Easy Job. It really felt like it was in the spirit of Bunny, though. It has this excellent portrayal of toxic female friendships and the loneliness of a woman spiraling out of control. This character also kind of reminds me of a female Bojack Horseman, as she comes from extreme privilege and hurts those who are around her.

One thing that did hang over this book was the setting. As I mentioned, this book is set in New York City. Well, this book is also set during the years of 2000-2001. So That hung over the book during the entire read time. It was kind of exciting, as I perpetually wondered if The Thing would happen before the end of the book and how It would be portrayed. I won't tell you wether or not It did. Read it yourself.

[k4t4str0phic]

BRING BACK VSCO JOURNALS!!!!!

[k4t4str0phic]

[k4t4str0phic]

[k4t4str0phic]

Indecisive

Hours pass by Don’t know what to do, so I do nothing Waste my god damn time away Guess I’m in no hurry Of course it’s got me itching Got me thinking overtime What the fuck do I do? Tryna be a poet baby, gotta live that poets life Of sitting in empty rooms wondering what to do Or gritting my teeth anytime I gotta do anything at all Professional bum with the excuse of being a writer Take…

[k4t4str0phic]

oh the things that i would do to show a pilgrim my favorited tiktoks videos and comments

[k4t4str0phic]

you are not obliged to save me from myself

to myself and to others i will always be

all alone

all of this distance and i dont know whether its me

or you

- k4t4str0phic

[k4t4str0phic]

Salman Toor, The Reader, 2022 oil on linen, 18" x 24"

[k4t4str0phic]

by frequent request, here's Pharrell talking about recording gear and software

Earlier this summer I wrote a profile of Pharrell Williams for New York, and then later we ran an edited transcript of the interview I did with him for the profile.

I said something in the intro to that transcript about how I was cutting out the “mild geek-talk” we started with, because most people want to hear Pharrell talk about things other than quantization, or why he switched to using Logic.

I probably should have realized that was just a giant tease to the subset of people who really, really do want to hear Pharrell talk about things like quantization, or why he switched to using Logic.

Those folks keep sending emails and tweets asking politely for that chunk of the interview, so here it is – just click through. I guarantee it’s not as in-depth or revelatory as you were imagining, but you asked!

Keep reading

[k4t4str0phic]

[k4t4str0phic]

yall dont understand like i NEED them together its not a want its a NEED. in love with them both and i get SO giddy every time i see them together like PLEASE MAKE THIS SLOW BURN I BEG OF YOU

[k4t4str0phic]

the whole “joan of arc had schizophrenia!!!” thing is soooo icky to me.

it is completely okay to be a non-christian and still look up to joan of arc (she’s a leader and an amazing person to look up to). issues begin to appear when one disrespects her story, her faith, and who she was. she was a catholic. i understand that non-christians will not believe that her visions came from god, and that’s understandable. however, SHE did. and people shouldn’t come to the conclusion that she was mentally ill; she was a leader that wanted to fulfill god’s will. to say that she was schizophrenic because you do not believe that the visions were from god overall belittles the faith SHE had in god, and is overall historically unethical to do.

so basically : don’t try to diagnose historical figures and to look up to joan in a way that still respects her faith.