kapi-tanka - Tumblr blog

[kapi-tanka]

you can’t build a fnv fan char without adding some extra damage

[kapi-tanka]

saints, preserve us beneath your cracks and fissures among the fossiled fishes our souls, our souls to keep

my fnv character lawrence nightingale, a follower of the apocalypse. a perfectionist. a procrastinator. the most generous man imaginable who dreams of gifting people the world, in a format of a grand, exhaustive museum. he’s also the most greedy man imaginable, never satisfied with any amounts of art, bones and dust

the king of the unfinished museum has reigned for a decade. there’s so much more to be found and preserved

[kapi-tanka]

prodigal siblings, reunited

[kapi-tanka]

TIS FOR ME!!!!!!!! thank you once again!!!

Happy Birthday @kapi-tanka!!!

[kapi-tanka]

my beloved alien guy (insecure in a funky way) vundabar — alien blues

[kapi-tanka]

Howdy!

30 and 4 please :D

4. What hobbies does your Tav have? How did they acquire these interests?

thanks for asking! honestly i think every tavish's hobby is somehow knives/daggers/swords related lol. most of his camp leisure activites come down to throwing daggers, sharpening blades, going through his vast knife collection, practicing sword techniques with lae’zel, doing scary (to other people, not him) chaotic tricks like stabbing back and forth between his fingers with a knife, etc

he just really likes how tangible they feel in hands, how powerful and quick and capable wielding them makes him feel. he had to learn how to fight as a street urchin and now strongly associates knives/daggers with safety (long story short he wasn't raised by other githyanki and the circumstances of how exactly this happened still aren't completely clear to him). swords didn't work for tavish at first though (he used to think they're kinda slow and clunky and require a totally different skillset) but lae'zel changed his mind completely and now tavish loves sword fighting too. that's how i explain his rogue/fighter multiclass to myself lol

30. What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

oh i don't know yet! i haven't finished the game. he's a restless type though, he'll definitely find new adventures and new things to experience in the wild

[kapi-tanka]

I always love how delicately you embed lyrics into your artworks, so I would like to know 23. What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to? And also 29. What advice would you give to your Tav?

THANKSSS. i'll start with the second one Q: What advice would you give to your Tav?

on a more serious note: he really needs to learn how to be less of a hoarder lol. yeah it's very hard for someone like tavish who comes from extreme poverty but his need to constantly obtain new stuff (especially if it doesn't belong to him) and to stick with it til the faerûn's end not once and not twice had left him in very bad places

Q: What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to? (under the cut)

and thanks for this one especially! i hope i'll draw something for these songs in the future alex g - things to do (you are just a boy you are no man and / nobody you know will understand / welcoming you back home / the only one that you have ever known) mellah - death, pillage, plunder (yes i'm bleak / but did i have a chance? / born to the side of the road and / a sideways glance / heaven can wait / i'm swimming in the low/ blood on my knuckles and the wall and / tears in tow)

shoe - evie in my mind this one's not about tavish particularly but about tav in general. tav and the tadpole/the emperor or any other force that tries to use tav for their purposes but does it weirdly... tenderly at times?? i just really adore how bg3 works with this mix of "love" and control in its antagonists from the very beginning of the game. the narrator's quotes when you meet a dying illithid ("you could end its life here and now, if only you didn't feel compassion", "it's possessing your mind, forcing you to... love it") are still stuck in my head, i just feel so many unsettling feelings because of how illithids choose to control their thralls. ordering them to empathize. like? not to just serve mindlessly, but to reciprocate something. and the whole game kind of expands on it with all the companions and their abusive experiences where they had to love their gods, makers, wardens, etc. insane. sorry for a tangent LOL, i just hear similar parasitical longing of someone who has no idea how to be close to a person without using them when i listen to this song (hey / this place is so colourless and bottomless / it’s hills so smooth and bare / i fantasize that i might find you on the other side and / hey / i guess you might be leaving soon / the emptiness is impossibly unbearable / but it’s not so bad here / just the dust, the devil, you and me / and hey, you know, i’m sorry / just wanted to be closer to your body / been eating little pieces of your clothes i / bite into your flesh, your flesh, your flesh / i bite into your flesh, your flesh, your flesh)

[kapi-tanka]

30 Questions for your Tav

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Dark Urge edition here)

What was your Tav’s place of birth and raising like?

What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

Did your Tav receive any formal or informal education? If yes, how well did they learn? If no, why not?

What hobbies does your Tav have? How did they acquire these interests?

Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

What is your Tav’s favourite childhood memory?

What circumstances led to your Tav becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Tav have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Tav have about the Gods?

How does your Tav feel about the wilderness?

How does your Tav feel about the city?

What motivates your Tav to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

How does your Tav feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Tav? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Tav’s greatest fear?

What is your Tav’s greatest desire?

What is your Tav’s greatest regret?

How does your Tav feel about love?

Has your Tav become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers?

How does your Tav feel about what others think of them?

Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Tav feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Tav function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Tav?

What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

[kapi-tanka]

having the time of my life in bg3 romancing shadowheart and i love love love my transmasc githyanki rogue/fighter tav (conveniently named tavish). he's so much fun to draw and to play as, just can't get my hands off him

[kapi-tanka]

i’m playing bg3 guys. hanging out with tiefling kids is a psychological need

[kapi-tanka]

guys i’m really struggling. you don’t want to know how bad my brainrot with these three is. don’t get me wrong i’m happy to write my own characters but they’re uhhhh kinda horrible batshit crazy extremely damaged and unhealthy people LOL. unexpectedly fun to explore tho 💀💀💀💀 i have so much stuff with them up my sleeve but it takes ages to explain any lore. but basically they work in a fashion boutique which is a front for some very shady business (who’s not shady and doesn’t kill people on the strip amirite??) aaaand they’re poly 🤠

i’ll share more if you’re interested. forever grateful for all your feedback and kind words i keep seeing in my tags!

[kapi-tanka]

they circle the ground and stare at the sky for my fall, no one else was dumb enough to climb it at all

[kapi-tanka]

too stoned, taking antibiotics i feel my infections wrestling in my bones

[kapi-tanka]

do u do commissions :_O

hi! officially i don't because i'm from russia and i can't receive any payments via paypal or other popular services (and setting something alternative up seems like it's not worth the hassle for me personally). but actually i've had this idea for a while: since i also can't pay for most services with my russian card, i can take one commission for a year of nebula subscription (it's a streaming service for content creators, video essays mostly). currently it's worth 50 USD. i can draw a half-body piece with maybe some objects surrounding your character (because i love drawing objects lol) for this price. or only your character without any unnecessary paraphernalia :)

you'll need to purchase the subscription on my nebula account for me since i'm not able to do it. dm if interested!

[kapi-tanka]

a bit unusual content to post here: it's me, yer artist kap!!! yes i'm an alien in real life. but don't worry. i come in peace 👽👽👽

[kapi-tanka]

guys help i can’t stop making new vegas fan chars LOL. meet my new ones: patience (the masked woman) and corduroy or simply roy (the fake blondie). they own a boutique on the strip and make most of the clothes for casinos and their guests. well, roy does. patience handles business and their secret spicy goals to take over vegas

they’re antagonists to the independence team and become relevant in the post-game period of my story. they’re obviously not happy with all the changes that happened to the strip, like free entrance or the kings replacing omertas and a bunch of other stuff i headcanon for post-game. so patience slowly gathers other dissatisfied rich residents of the strip to stop the revolutionaries and to roll the strip back to its previous version. “luckily”, patience has a lot of friends among the white gloves society. and they’re willing to support her as long as she comes up with a good plan how to reprogram yes-man :)

[kapi-tanka]

So I’ve been thinking about the Ramirez family again, my mind wonders at what could have caused the rift between them all. They all seem to think the distance between them is for the best, but each have differing reasons for why. 

Andy seems convinced that they don’t need their family, and is better off alone. But I can see in their one good eye, there’s resentment. Resentment and trauma. There’s a sense of abandonment that just emits from them. I get the feeling that Andy has never felt like they belonged anywhere. Even with their family, they never felt understood but I think Andy still loved them. And they loved Andy back, even if Andy couldn’t see it. 

Oscar seems convinced he isn’t good enough to be around his family, and they’re better off without him. There’s guilt under his fun loving and free spirited persona. Oscar loves his younger sibling, I can tell, but he never asked for the responsibility of being an older brother. 

Ovidio is the hardest for me to read. Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize he’s their uncle and not the eldest sibling lol. I can’t say why but I just feel that Ovidio caused the rift between them all, or at least played a significant hand in it. Ovidio seems to want someone to kill for. He wants someone whose name can justify his actions, but none of his family want to be that someone. 

Anyways, that's just my interpretation of your wonderful characters! Sorry that this is a bit long lol. I hope I got some of it right and I look forward to the next piece!

oh my GODD honestly it's insane how accurately you read all of my characters. i'm so so so humbled someone's invested in their story, thank you SO MUCH for you interest and your ask! i'm very sorry it took so long to answer, it's a bit hard to collect my thoughts.. but i truly appreciate your analysis! i made this scheme to support info under the cut. i must warn you that this story's a bit dark in a domestic way and... it's really long lol

so. you're mostly right about ovidio causing the rift! i hope i'm not ruining it for you by telling, i know that stories often seem much more interesting before we know any specific details. but basically the actual tragedy of the ramirez family has it roots not in the interpersonal drama (though it definitely played a significant role in everything) but in the ncr and fallout politics in general. all of them used to live in some independent settlement in california, with its own militia, farms, crop fields and traders before the ncr annexed them. the republic put this settlement through their standard modus operandi with enforcement of taxes and recruiting of many promising and not so promising youngsters in the army, including ovidio who was around 18 at the moment (i even have this sketch below with some arcade and ovidio bonding which kinda summarizes it)

mateo and ramona were traders. obviously, the ncr started to suck resources from the settlement (mostly crops and animal products) and they needed caravans to transport them. ramona and mateo (and some other settlers) took the job and both eventually were killed in one unfortunate trip by raiders (which at least partially are the aftermath of ncr's actions in california and nevada imo). so, as you said, andy was lonely and abandoned from very early on in their childhood. they were raised in this post-annexation "world" where their parents almost never had time for them and were never home. oscar was a bit more fortunate (he's 5 years older and had his chance to spend some quality time with mom and dad) and naturally he took their death harder than andy. ovidio was demoted from the ncr army (it's the whole other story) and came back to provide for children and his own parents. he was around 20 at the moment, oscar was 12 and andy only 7. the three of them grew to love each other with time but it was a baffling shift in family dynamics because oscar and andy were relatively independent kids and had never spent much time with ovidio before.

also oscar really wanted to accompany caravans himself (to get away from home a little and out of sheer curiosity about the world) and ovidio just wasn't having it. it literally was the same conflict between them over and over, so andy had to listen to constant bickering and drama which left a lasting impact on her psyche. the second thing that really traumatized andy was abuela's dementia - this slow decay of the mind of someone who was once very clever and loving. and the third thing... well. once upon a time oscar just LEFT after some especially heated argument and it changed everything once again. he didn't plan to run away for real, just wanted to party a little, to teach ovidio a lesson and to come back home. but he ended up meeting someone cute and kinda postponed and postponed his return to the point of never coming back LOL (he did kinda come back later but... spoilers). just like you guessed, he didn't believe his family needed him because his experience at home was basically doing hard labor and being yelled at. of course his family actually loved him and everyone was scared shitless about him including other settlers but... he never got to know that. he dissappeared without a trace because good luck to anyone who looks for a "dark-haired, dark-eyed lad of medium height" on the wastelands. ovidio didn't find him back then but he really tried, and his life became pretty much centered around this desperate search for oscar. andy grew up into a capable, cold and emotionally unavailable young adult by then. but her brother's escape was like a nail in the coffin of the avoidant attachment style. imagine 1) never having your parents around and losing them to the wastelands, 2) losing your grandma to dementia and seeing her literally not remembering your anymore, a fate worse than death in andy's opinion, 3) losing your brother to the wastelands too but this time he "deliberately" left you 4) losing your uncle to this obsession with finding your brother. andy AGAIN, JUST LIKE YOU SAID felt abandoned by others. they were a shadow, not noticed by anyone, not being anyone's priority, overworked at home, without any way to decide something for themselves. and it was the turning point when poor abuela fell sick and finally died. andy lost her last anchor to the hometown that stopped feeling like home a long time ago. and yeah. whoopsie. she left too! it was the first real decision in andy's life, a hard call to make yet a weirdly freeing one.

later on ovidio dropped what was left of the caravan business altogether and left their settlement too, this time to search for both "kids" who were adults at this point. that's how the things still are during the fnv events - the ramirez family is separated, all of them found some surrogates of familial relationships and left their impact on the political map of california and nevada. they reunite only after the independence ending (achieved by oscar). and speaking of your other observation: "Ovidio seems to want someone to kill for. He wants someone whose name can justify his actions, but none of his family want to be that someone" - it sounds more like how things play out after the big reunion. but... that's a whole other story :) thank you so much for reading and, once again, for this ask! had great time answering!!!