kaylauren-blog - Tumblr blog

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"Undressing the Words"... the words are naked turned 6 today! I can’t believe it has already been 6 years! Where does the time go?!

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I was becoming annoyed at these ill-informed children, but the last kid made me feel a little better.

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So real

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[x]

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“Dark Necessities”

People say the mind can be a powerful thing. People also say that the mind can be a dangerous thing. What does that say about those who can so vividly live in their mind? Is it powerful? Is it dangerous? I see it is a gift, but I also see it as my prison. I can blissfully live in my pretty, little mind and the world is at my mercy. Nothing can go wrong in my mind...but nothing can be real either. I’ve built this paradise that I don’t want to leave because I know what’s waiting when I return: a life of stitching things together patch by patch just to hold everything together.  

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When you are attracted to people, it’s because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most.

Jodi Picoult (via quotemadness)

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“Can’t Stop”

The most vivid moment of my first real connection to a piece of music was when I found myself walking to school on a mildly humid, extremely warm day in the East Texas fall of 2003 jamming out on my CD walkman to the 'Greatest Hits' album of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I walked the half mile or three-quarters of a mile up the road, probably looking like a complete fool because I was jamming so hard, but I didn't care. I arrived on campus about 20 minutes early, so I sat underneath the bell-tower in front of the school cafeteria and leaned against the wall. Since I set the disc to shuffle the songs, I skipped forward to "Under the Bridge", closed my eyes, leaned my head back, and I let the melodic guitar intro transport me to a place only my mind knew. Let me rewind for a moment. The first time I heard the Chili Peppers, I had to have been 10 or so because I was in the 4th grade when I first heard "Under the Bridge". I heard it on the radio (must have been a mix station that played a variety of music because at this point, the song was as old as as I was). At that age, you can't really understand the meaning of songs or its lyrics, but I do remember the first few notes catching my ear and my attention and not wanting the song to end. Fast forward to my middle-school self. By this point, and my walk to school, I have clearly discovered the phenomenon that is the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I'm fairly certain I had stolen a copy of that 'Greatest Hits' album from one of my older sisters, but I couldn't get enough. I was officially captivated. That album became mine (sorry sister)! My 12-year-old self connected to the song in a completely different way than my 10-year-old self did. Not only did I hear more of the music, but I was able to form my own meaning behind the lyrics. I heard the sadness and the dark cloud that lingered over that song. The lyric "sometimes I feel like my only friend" resonated within me so deeply that I listened to it on repeat. I had friends, but because of life-circumstances, I felt more like a charity case than someone to be friends with. (As time would pass though, I grew to realize that I didn't need to be ashamed and that my friends were my friends because they liked me for me! For a self-esteem lacking middle schooler and even high schooler, that was a difficult concept to grasp.) Fast forward to my high-school self. I was a freshman in high school when on the radio, "Under the Bridge" came on, but this time before the song played, the radio hosts gave a brief background on the song and credited it to the days of Anthony Kiedis' drug use. It was this time that I actually heard the song. Before I knew it, tears were blurring my vision, and they wouldn't cease for a minute or so. The darkness and the sadness that I connected to was identified, and even though I have never once been tempted to that sort of life or habit, I felt the pain of the song. It was the summer preceding my sophomore year in high school when I stumbled upon the "Stadium Arcadium" album. I was shopping around Wal-Mart with the few dollars I had in my pocket I had earned from my part-time job, when the album practically flew off the shelf and into my face. My eyes instantly gravitated toward it, and without a thought, I grabbed it and went to check out. I marveled at it the whole way to checkout. The fact that there were 2 full-length albums in one sent my elation to indescribable places. I couldn't get out of that store fast enough. I was ready to listen to my new albums. I rigged up the system, and set the 'Jupiter' album to play. "Dani California" was the first to play and a grin instantly consumed the entirety of the space on my face when Chad Smith came in with those first drum beats. I'm fairly certain I let out a laugh of pure joy when Flea and John Frusciante entered with bass and lead guitar. I cranked up the volume, and cue Anthony with the first lyric, "Gettin' born in the state of Mississippi..." I unapologetically blared the music from the car and took the long way home, adding an additional 30 minutes to my drive.  I was completely enamored with this music! As soon as I got home, I gathered the discs, ran to my room, grabbed my trusty CD walkman (Yes, those were still a thing back in 2006, believe it or not) and headphones and I didn't sleep until I had listened to both albums in full. It was then that I declared the Red Hot Chili Peppers as my band. In fact, I can't believe I didn't make this declaration sooner! By declaring them as my own, I knew they were the music I would always go back to no matter how old I got or what happened in my life. I knew that there would always be a place in my heart and mind for their music no matter how my tastes changed and evolved. Fast forward a few more years. Through the end of high school and beginning semesters of college, I would occasionally find my way back to listening to a few Chili Peppers songs, but I had found new artists and new bands that occupied my time, but I always came back to them. A few more years skip by, and at this point, I live with a roommate, not doing school, but doing the working-adult, time to pay bills thing. I was doing chores when I was skimming through a music app for some new music, when I saw it. It's 2013 and I see an album by the Red Hots from 2011. I vividly remember my reaction being an audible, "What?! How did I miss this?!" So naturally, instead of doing chores, I sat down and listened to the entirety of the album while reading through the corresponding lyrics. By the album's end, I wasn't certain how to feel about it. They had changed their sound, and there were a few numbers that really caught my ear, but I was on the fence. I put the album on repeat and proceeded with my chores. This time around I had made a definitive decision: I liked it. I did some research and saw that John Frusciante had left the band, but Josh Klinghoffer offered a new approach while still paying homage to the Chili Peppers sound that I loved. I wasn't mad, though! I understood that these guys have been around since before I was born; their sound was bound to change...and it did! Quite a bit! I never really got into their funkier, first few albums (I just didn't have the ear to appreciate that style of music), but 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik' was the first album that really caught my ear, and with the exception of 'One Hot Minute' (aside from a few songs that I thoroughly enjoyed), I have enjoyed every album since. Fast forward 3 more years - present day. I haven't listened to RHCP in a while - to the point that I couldn't remember when I last listened to a song. Well, one day when I was driving back home I realized that my phone was on the verge of dying, so I unplugged my auxiliary cord, and the music that was currently playing ceased. At a stop light, I rummaged through the cds I still happened to have in my car (Yes, I still have them in my car, don't judge me! I would just like to point out how much technology has changed from having to rig a cd player via cassette tape in order to play through your car's speakers to unplugging a cord that connected your small, mobile phone to your deck). I flipped through a few discs and my eyes settled on the Red Hot Chili Peppers albums before me. I put in the 'Jupiter' album, and once again, that smile crept onto my face like it did the first time I heard "Dani California" in my car. (I would like to point out that "Dani California" isn't the only song I love on the albums, there are others that I adore and cherish even more, but that's the first song of the first album, and I usually worked my way through Jupiter and then Mars, but the albums are chock full of musical gems!) All of the memories came rushing in like a tidal wave, and I again took a detour to prolong the ride home in order to continue jamming out. Just like my 15-year-old self, my 25-year-old self unabashedly blared my music through my car speakers and let people stare as I jammed out. I went on a Chili Peppers binge for the next 2 weeks (still can't get enough, so much so that I've even skipped over to John Frusciante's solo albums, which are amazing! The Empyrean has been in rotation with my RHCP albums, and the sound on that album is reminiscent of his Chili Peppers days, and you know his guitar work on the album is nothing short of awe-inspiring. This album wraps you in a warm blanket with his melodies and arrangements and tells a full story from beginning to end both lyrically and musically. Plus, his former bandmate, Flea, and friend and current guitarist for the Red Hots, Josh Klinghoffer, make guest appearances on the album, along with others). Lo and behold, following my current 2 week binge, James Corden had them on his Carpool Karaoke segment...like we were on the same musical wavelength! I found out later on the same day the segment came out that the Red Hot Chili Peppers were releasing an album 3 days following the airing of that segment! I was overjoyed! I must have been living under a rock because I had no idea this was in the works! I impatiently waited and continued my music-binge and listened to their albums nonstop and listened to the few singles they had released from the new album. I woke up the morning of the release, and was eager to start the day and get ready so I could jam out. Throughout getting ready and my daily commute to work, I knew that I liked the album. There were some songs that still had my classic Chili Peppers sound with a mix of their newer (and even older) sounds. 'The Getaway' album joined my musical rotation. The whole weekend following the release of the album was filled with nonstop Red Hot Chili Peppers action. I couldn't get enough. For the first time of being a fan, I was hearing and feeling every different instrument and every line of music together and individually at the same time. The music was consuming every fiber of my being. The joy, the sadness, the excitement, the darkness, the hope, the despair was washing over every nerve-ending so that I was feeling the music from head to toe. I still needed more. I wanted to know more. I remembered Anthony Kiedis had released an autobiography some years back, and that book has consumed the majority of my free time...and time that I should be doing other things since I purchased it. I mean, that man has lived. It may not have been rainbows and butterflies, but he has experienced so much life. It's really kind of amazing. I have yet to finish the novel, but I'm close, and I find myself scolding and rooting for him through his ups and downs even though I already know what happens. It truly is a fascinating read, and I find that when I stop reading, I need a moment to gather my senses because as I'm reading, I'm seeing everything he has recorded in his memory - like a shadow of myself was there. It's a surreal thing, but I tend to do that with any book I read. I really do get lost in the moment, in the story, and I feel and live with the characters - be it they are fictional or nonfictional. It sounds silly, but I see it as a gift. Back to the book: it offers great insight and history and meaning to some of everyone's favorite, and not-so-favorite songs, and it's a real treat. Now, don't read me wrong. It's crude and vulgar and explicit and dark and humorous, but the history of the band members and the group as a whole is one heck of a roller coaster ride - lots of ups and downs and loops and turns. So that's where I'm at. I'm at my current obsession-stage, and I anticipate it to fade in the next couple of weeks...maybe. This is the cycle for these kinds of things for me. Obsessions tend to have their moment in my magnifying glass and then they're gone. This isn't the case for RHCP. Like I said: they're my band, and they'll always have a special place in my heart. I may not listen to them every single day for a while, and time may pass in which I don't listen to them for a prolonged length of time. I do know, though, that I'll always find my way back to their music like a dog who finds its way back home after a runaway spree. Even after they stop making music and/or no longer dwell in this world, I will continue to jam out to their music. I will be that 67-year-old woman who will still be rocking out to her "oldies", and I will proudly own it! Title of this post, "Can't Stop" is here! I would list my favorite RHCP songs, but I'd be here a while. I tried narrowing it to 20, and I struggled hard, so I decided to forego that list. What are some of your favorite Chili Peppers songs?!

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“Normally we get a little more high brow artsy, and this just felt extremely warm and human, even though it’s animals, and it’s also us. Chad is the bear, Josh is the girl, Flea is the raccoon, and me as the funny little raven out front.”  (Anthony Kiedis about The Getaway album cover)

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“Minor Thing”

I have been absent for a long time! I felt like I needed to get back on the Tumblr horse, so here I am! I know the long posts aren’t really popular, but alas, we writers must write!

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"Undressing the Words"... the words are naked turned 5 today! I can’t believe it has been 5 years since I started Tumblr! Back then it was just this wee little website that I constantly blogged on. Crazy how things change and time flies!

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How To Meet People

Are you sick and tired of being dateless? Do you sit at home week after week while your friends are out on dates? Are you surrounded by people in relationships? It’s time to get out there and meet someone for yourself! Here are 10 tips on how to meet people:

  1.    Get out. You will never meet anyone if you sit at home alone. No one is coming to knock on your door to meet you. You need to get out of the house and surround yourself with other human beings if you ever hope to meet someone.

2.    Practice makes perfect. If you’re shy it can seem daunting to start chatting up strangers and trying to meet someone, let alone asking someone out. Start practicing your social skills by talking to everyone. The cashier while you’re shopping, the bus driver, the lady in line behind you at the store, etc. If you make a habit of engaging strangers in conversation in low-pressure situations, you’ll get used to doing it and be a pro at it by the time you want to talk to someone that you want to meet.

3.    Reach out. Let your friends and acquaintances know that you’re ready to meet someone. Ask them to set you up. They know you well so they can pair you with other people that they think you’ll be a good match with.

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Growing Old

This is the first time I've been on Tumblr in months! Between school, work and a handful of miscellaneous things, I haven't made much time for being on here. But while I was thinking about it, I figured I'd pop on and write a short something.

As I'm sitting here watching The Hobbit and eating veggies for dinner (yes, just veggies; sometimes that craving just kicks in), I kind of laughed at myself and thought, "I'd never thought I'd be this person." If you had told me about 5 years ago that I was going to be the person I am today with the interests I have, I would have laughed at you, and told you you were off your rocker. I never thought I'd spend an afternoon after work playing WoW rather than doing homework like I should have been. I never thought that I'd have the issues I'd be having with going to school (getting all of my paperwork together and getting advisors that will actually advise). I never thought at 22, I'd be supporting myself and paying doctor bills and credit card bills. You know, I assumed I'd have to take care of those things eventually, but not now at 22.  I just never thought I'd be here, where I'm at.  I thought I had it all figured out, and boy I couldn't have been more wrong.

I'm not ashamed of who I am or where my life is at at this point, by any means. I just never thought I'd turn out to be who I am.

I'm quite happy with where life has led me the past couple of years. I really did do quite a bit of growing up in that time, and for that I am proud of myself. I'm wiser, my skin is thicker, my heart is stronger and my spirit is brighter. It hasn't been easy, but I've made it this far, and that has been with support of amazing family and friends. 

It's funny how the smallest things can remind you of your role in this world and how you should never doubt who you are or who you will become because your purpose here is greater than you may ever know.