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Finished and hung!!!

In retrospect I would have liked to hang it lower down- as if a spider grazing the ground from its web. I’d also dangle more bits of hair... I might have even rested it on a diagonal in that corner... like a corpse!

Anyways we are here now and I am still unsatisfied. Why?

- it feels like an annoying hogwarts/Halloween prop

- the hair has lost its grossness. I wanted it to keep!!!

- I needed more hair for it to have been effective. The steel needed to have been covered entirely

- I needed to experiment more loosely with the treatment of hair. It feels to purposeful and deliberate and neat. That’s not my style

- it feels incomplete

Why has this all happened?

Well this semester has been really scary for me. Moving out (into a house that requires a lot of cleaning and maintenance for me to feel at peace), new jobs in fine dining, a rocky new relationship, a new art practice, a new cohort... everything feels new and as much as I was prepared for it- it was so incredibly gruelling. I look back at the last few months and only see a giant mess of learning curves.

I’ve learnt:

- the workings of a new fine dining business (requires studying and 5 tests)

- how to garden, cut down 10m high bamboo shoots, bundle it up and deal with council clean up failures and fine threats despite best efforts

- how to clean ovens, clean floors with vinegar, unblock sinks with baking soda, flush smelly washing machines with cleaner

- how to compost (properly) and fix improper composting

- handle housemates who have Aspergers and an anxiety disorder. Both are musicians and are very noisy

- how to solder galvanised steel wire

- how to bend wire into perfect rings of varying sizes

- how to set up a bed frame

- how to look closely at gym membership contracts and handle the consequences.

- how to manage a bank account transfer for SCASS (lots of money btw) and then how to budget and be a gatekeeper for the money against the hungry C&S

- how to eat food that has been frozen due to a faulty fridge for weeks. Never eat defrosted yoghurt- it curdles.

- how to use rust converter

- how to weld together a rusty and broken cast iron chandelier

- how to wire up 15 LED bulbs to a battery pack and switch

- how to felt human hair into ropes

- how to be a good loving partner (I’ve only failed before)

- how to be more emotionally intelligent and less selfish-thinking

- how to be the unofficial life coach of a 35 year old man

- how to not buy unnecessary food (wastage is bad) and be resourceful (so is buying $16 worth of coffees a day)

- how to acknowledge when alcohol consumption is becoming problematic

- how to be responsible for shit quality work

This list is not exhaustive and I’ll be continually adding to it.

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I was stuck. I found myself doing handstands in the studio to encourage blood circulation and potential new thoughts. Thankfully my partner came in with a succulent take away Thai meal to share with me and gave me his opinion.

He said that he craved symmetry because it is so wild looking- all of the arms had to have hair. He also like the long strands dangling from the upper parts. I felt like they were intrusive and too much of a difference to the thick ropes I had made... but then I decided that this was some sort of living thing and so different sorts of hair can grow on one thing right??

I agreed RE symmetry but in retrospect maybe I didn’t... I liked the dangling bits

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I went on a long walk around the campus and took 100 photos of 50 different potential locations to show this elaborate piece of caca. I settled on one because it seemed to appease the OH&S lady most in a meeting/site walk through with Canbora. This meeting went on for far too long and it was very informative in the way that I will never channel my neurosis into a career like that. So mundane and silly. Practical and necessary but my god. I put together a risk assessment and arranged to have it installed the morning of my assessment- Wednesday.

The location was on level 2, football field side entry of the OTC. Right under the staircase, hanging from the iron hand railing. It was ideal because:

- dark corner

- dark classic walls

- surrounded by other chandeliers that “talked” to it

- simple install plan

- minimal issues to resolve E.g power point (if I hadnt made it battery operated), taping down wires, signage, blocking paths/exits etc.

- dimensional in looking at it- the staircase allowed a birds eye view

- away from the common entry. Don’t want people looking at it for too long :)

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Last minute drying of hair precariously and then making the battery cover (which happened to look like a child’s scalped head). The battery cover was made of a mesh cooking implement (the name of it has left me), with handles cut off and it spray painted in brown. I filled it with smaller hair bits that didn’t make it to the rope and taped it in with a piece of plastic I also spray painted brown. I then covered the mesh in hair bits that resembled the rest of the piece. During its construction, I was meditating on the abdomen of a spider or the nucleus of a cell or else some sort of central nervous system unit for the chandelier- in an attempt to bring it to life

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Hair drapery was what made me most nervous. Despite having 40 hair donors, I simply did not have enough. I was starting to feel anxious about the creating of dread locks and felt like I had entered the realm of cultural appropriation. Whenever I went to try a new thing, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was merely decorating a refurbished chandelier with hair. And it felt dumb. Nothing felt “right” and so I went on to make more lengths of hair but more loose and raggy rather than dready and ropey. I still wasn’t satisfied but it was all that I could work with now. I’ve truly f*clef myself on this one and from this moment on, I was struck with an unshakable nausea. Was it panic? Dread? (mind the pun) I didn’t want to produce something I hated and for it to represent me as an artist. I knew from this moment that the product would be deeply dissatisfying and realised that any efforts from here onward would be me making efforts to reduce that dissatisfaction

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Done and packed away! Off to my Glebe home

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Dad showing me how to solder and the basics of wiring up a battery operated 15-point light system. I loved using the heat gun to shrink the shrink tube- very satisfying. Nervous about our proximity to the sink? Same but alas

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Originally got red diffusers but they cracked on 3V. Jaycar has been a nightmare but I guess it’s been my fault for walking into this as a noob. I’ve gone to and from Jaycar 4 times today. We settling on yellow clear LEDs that happen to be quite warm and candle-ish

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You won’t believe what Tim the workshop man found for me holy shit. Now to coat it with a whole bottle of rust converter after I’ve sanded the majority of rust away. It’s going to go black! Potentially I will spray paint it brown or leave it black and raw

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Mmmn hair rope

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So I’ve got 2 weeks to finish this bitch off. I’m gonna try complete the actual structure of by today- mid next week the latest!

I then have to fetch some glue. I’m going to coat the wire structures in glue and stick a layer of short hairs to great a friction basis and to really try cover up that wire. I want it to disappear! I want the thing to seem to be made of hair completely!

But before that I must wash the hair. I will have hair washed and wire glued by the end of next week- early next Monday latest!

Then I assemble!

Then I hang with fishing line.

But in the mean time, I must complete my creative ole and final project for music. I also gotta earn money. And give people I love attention. Busy bee, fruitful tree innit?!?!

Hang in there- a lovely road trip north is coming

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Realising I should have researched the structure of chandeliers and looked at wire chandeliers :) ah well better late than never

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First time I soldered on me damn own

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Realising I should have researched the actual structures of chandeliers and wire chandeliers :) ah well better late than never!

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I did it all by myself!

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:)