kellyschwark - Tumblr blog

[kellyschwark]

An Invitation to meet Oprah

I firmly believe that books are doorways into other people’s lives, allowing us to build and strengthen our empathy and understanding capacity. That’s why, last month, when we were unexpectedly ushered into the small VIP room two weeks ago to meet Oprah unexpectedly, my Fitbit tracked a spike in my heart rate. Also, someone cut the circuit connecting my brain to my vocal cords. Since the…

[kellyschwark]

An Indie Bookstore Day Love Letter

Katonah Reading Room, Katonah, New York – Indie Bookstore Day Indie Bookstore Day When writing a love letter, you go into it knowing that your words will never adequately capture your adoration and appreciation for the recipient. Still, you try anyway because silence feels suffocating, almost criminal. Consider this my love letter to my favorite bookshop on Indie Bookstore Day.  Dear Katonah…

[kellyschwark]

Second Chances

Valentine’s Day was nearly unbearably painful for quite a while, falling just around the date when my ex-husband left me. It was an anniversary of a profound loss, and everyone around me seemed to celebrate what I had just been deprived of. Love. Each pink heart and red candy box splashed across the screen delivered a pang of loneliness, reminding me of what I thought I had for so long but didn’t…

[kellyschwark]

15x31forArt Challenge: Finding the Flow with Watercolor Paintings

15x31forArt Challenge: Finding the Flow with Watercolor Paintings

[kellyschwark]

I Once Was Something, But Now I'm Nothing

I Once Was Something, But Now I’m Nothing

June 2001; June 2021 During my lifetime, I had driven through the gates of the academy as many different things. A girlfriend, a fiance, a bride, an officer’s wife, the wife of a Veteran, and now… well, now things are different. Now I am nothing. A “once was.” The guard at the gate approached my car as I opened the window to hand him my license and a temporary pre-screened identification card.…

[kellyschwark]

Early morning sunlight, a splash of spring colors, and a heavy dose of love from friends did my body, mind, and soul good today. Sharing some of my sips of spring with you, wherever you are right now. #westchester #springhassprung #spring #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artsWestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Np7iRJ5uj/?igshid=11upooynjgdfi

[kellyschwark]

It's been one week since I sat in my favorite chair with my cup of coffee, jotting down my morning thoughts. And what a week it has been. As I scribbled emotions and observations down, I was momentarily distracted by my favorite pen moving swiftly across the page. I love stories. I love how words can make you feel things or take you places. Some real. Some fantasy. But non-fiction? Now THAT is my jam. Give me all of the ways to consume a good non-fiction story, and I nod my head like a damn pigeon and shout, "YES!!!," as I throw a fist in the air when the tide turns and the underdog gains ground! That's what we need to look for in our lives during this whole thing. The moments when angels enter the scene to help us, though we call them friends or family. We need to step back for a second now and again and admit that we have no idea how the ending will look, but we KNOW that it will be better than where we find ourselves at this very moment. We know that when they turn your memoir into a movie (btw #thebookwasbetter), that the soundtrack isn't all sad and depressing. There's always that one song that will signal the turning of the tide. I haven't decided what song will be the song that Amy Adams rocks out to yet (because that's who would play me), but I'll try songs on today and dance in my kitchen. And in my dining room/studio. And in my bedroom. And right now, sitting in my favorite green chair. So... two questions for you: 1. Who would play you in your movie, and... 2. What would YOUR song be? #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artsWestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B-KAN7YpW6j/?igshid=r42spcprgf6e

[kellyschwark]

Today was an "I can't read, or write, or journal, or create, or focus on anything at all" kind of day. I tuned my phone to silent and flipped it over. And breathed. That was my accomplishment today. (I know, I know... I owe phone calls and texts to so many amazing friends who must have somehow felt I was "having a day.") Have you experienced that yet? The unsettling? The feeling that, perhaps, if you stay completely still... that things will somehow right itself? That's where I was today. Being still. Last week's relief has transitioned to grief, and at the end of the day, that's a good thing. What I learned years ago when my world was flipped upside down after my husband left, was that, first, I felt relief. All of the unexplainable things finally had an explanation that made sense, and I had survived the one thing that I thought would have crushed me. When truth is placed at your feet, it feels like relief at first. "Okay, well now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can get to DEALING with it!" Brainstorms and daydreams. Big picture thinking, and pausing to ask yourself what you want to take with you into your new life. Relief pairs up with your imagination and the wheels start turning. But relief? She's a houseguest who eventually leaves, allowing Grief time to knock upon your door. I was reminded today that you need to pause and sit with grief for the path that you had been on. But do you know what? Every single time I have changed course, I was introduced to new people, more engaging experiences, and I discovered new ways which I felt alive. Grief will leave (if she hasn't already started to collect her things) and I'll clean up the mess of brainstorming notes, projects, and ambitions that Relief started charting... because we have a new path to explore, friends! I have absolutely NO IDEA where this one will lead but my aim is "somewhere amazing" and my god... we will celebrate with massive gatherings of friends, consuming all of the foods and drinks we are missing, and taking in all of the art and music and theater and movies and readings and lectures... and, well... you catch my drift. Until then... today was a black white and gray kind of day for me. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-IeIwCJPz8/?igshid=1oky4mhcfljww

[kellyschwark]

Monday is somewhat synonymous with the starting line of a new week, isn't it? So here is our starting line. A place to read, write, think, create, connect... and bake. So, SO many thoughts and a moment in history to pause, reflect, and take the time to share them. #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artsWestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B-FVTsiJfGw/?igshid=ru8przrp374o

[kellyschwark]

Yesterday and Today. You close your eyes to end one day, fall asleep, and if you're lucky, you drift off into a far off place of magic in your dreams. When you open your eyes again, everything is different. Except not. You stand in the same place you stood yesterday morning, take in the view of the same tree, same yard, same house. But the air is colder, and someone is draping a white blanket of snow upon the bit of spring that had begun to stir. It makes me think of Pema Chodron's quote "You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather." Except maybe we are the earth as well? Maybe are ground and rock and roots and growth. We weather the seasons. We turn our faces toward the sun and we stretch for the light. We grow between the cracks of a changing world, and with our blooms we delight those who slow down enough to see us. I have absolutely no idea what the weather will bring tomorrow, a week from now, or months from now, but I will still be me and you will still be you. And I see you. Trying to find the light and warmth. Trying to grow. Trying to keep up with the changes. We all are. In the meantime, we will do our best to shake off the snow and await the eventual arrival of spring without interruption. There will be rain showers and storms, of that I'm sure - but we'll get through those, too. We will. #littleclosetwindow #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artsWestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B-E2v91JQXZ/?igshid=1m22ylrybpl4w

[kellyschwark]

Had a bit of an emotional hangover today. A nap, a shower, and a walk helped. What's your cure? https://www.instagram.com/p/B9-hOnWJOBo/?igshid=v1cfjmu6478g

[kellyschwark]

Do you know what's sweet? Besides this incredible bread pudding? When your baby brother knows you've had a rough day and orders you and your kiddo an incredible dinner to-go from @fortinapizza. Thanks, @djstrongstyle. Love ya'! (at Fortina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B97tO5_JwAC/?igshid=mzcmxwamxmwz

[kellyschwark]

Did a little dusting today. “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” - Pablo Picasso Current work in progress. #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artsWestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B97XpW1poFs/?igshid=ha6rhajmpx6o

[kellyschwark]

Thank you, Messenger. These little notes are dotted throughout our town and I stopped momentarily this morning to capture one. When I saw it, I didn't know how differently the day would end or how much I would need to be reminded of all of the amazing people in my life. So much uncertainty ahead, but there will always be love with each and every step. Thank you, Messenger, for the reminder. https://www.instagram.com/p/B95IOkgp_-I/?igshid=gd05rkmgndo5

[kellyschwark]

Gone. The sound of cars on the road and busses chugging up the hill. The noise that usually speaks over the birds is suddenly gone quiet. Like the quiet of a Sunday morning. But not. Commute times for most have all but vanished. Family breakfast and talk and preparation for a new kind of routine. And nature? She sings outside my window. So much uncertainty. So much taking it "day by day" but I look to nature. In silence the birds sing. Buried in the ground, the bulb grows. In crisp, cool, morning spring air, the buds begin to appear. So us? What will we do not because a schedule dictates it to us or because it's what we've done the day before and the day before that? What do we do in the slowdown, silence, and buried in darkness? We grow and create because the drive within us is too strong NOT to. We lean heavily upon our passions, pleasures, and loved ones. We discover new ways to connect. We find bigger ways to settle deeper into who we are meant to be not because we are fearless, but because there is no other option. We grow through the fear and uncertainty and reach up toward the warmth of the sun. Although she may be shrouded behind clouds for a stretch of time, she is always there. On the other side. Without fail. Ready to wash your new growth in light and love. Until then, stay home and wash your hands. Please. #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artswestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B94AIHppB0o/?igshid=9he8r845hajf

[kellyschwark]

There will be at least ONE normal thing today, said this redheaded gal. #stpatricksday #irishgirlinthekitchen #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #artswestchester #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou #imrighthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B92hP2MJkAt/?igshid=xb00h8uf166x

[kellyschwark]

Monday night, but really it feels like the days have been stripped of their meanings, washed away with disinfectant and persistent scrubbing. My hands are raw and dried and on the verge of cracking, and to be honest, my heart feels a bit the same way. I don't know what it feels like where you are, but from where I am, in Westchester County New York, you can feel the shift of a world in the process of changing. It feels like a lump in the back of your throat as you watch something in the distance forming, knowing it will soon reach you. I felt it almost 19 years ago as a newlywed military wife, watching the morning news one Tuesday in September. I felt it before a deployment, and I felt it afterwards. I felt it the day a girl from Milwaukee called me from Barcelona. It's the lump in your throat that says "your world will be different from this point onward." For each one of those moments, some quite personal and some world changing, there were unexpected things that resulted in the change in direction. There were people and experiences brought into my life for whom I'd always be grateful for. And this lump? I don't expect anything less. So... if you, too, are feeling this deep shift in the world and are feeling a bit afraid and unsure, let's help each other find the beauty and the good and the light on this new path. It's scary af, I can sincerely say that, but you are definitely not alone. As my gal @elizabeth_gilbert_writer says, I'm right here. Until then... meet my friends Bourbon & Ginger, and let's send a toast to that great big lump in your throat... #imrighthere. #westchester #northernwestchester #katonah #amwriting #writer #artist #blogger #personalgrowth #westchesterartist #Westchesterarta #perserverance #leapoffaith #personaldevelopment #divorce #singleparent #hope #chasinglight #community #ivegotyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B90L88FJ4c1/?igshid=11fqtikajmyd7