kill-me-with-a-spoon

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

It's me, hi, I'm the problem here, it's me

I wish I had the words to express how I feel but I don't. Seeing this has trully made my week atleast. Thank you

I really love this so much. It feels both warm and melancholic at the same time. It's beautiful

I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO DRAW THE PRE WISDOM SAGA HESTIA ATHENA COMIC IVE WANTED TO DRAW FOR MONTHS BUT COULDNT DUE TO A LACK OF HESTIA DESIGN WOOOOO

Dialogue inspired by this fic called Owl in the Night! I’m not sure if the author is on tumblr sadly

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

Philosopher:If we approach a wall only by covering half the distance at a time then we would never reach the wall because there are an infinite number of half-way points between us and the wall. So how can anything ever reach something else? How is motion possible? It is a paradox.

Engineer: What are you talking about? Did you hit your head? Are you high? Ofcourse I can reach the fucking wall. Its right there. Look, it took me 4 steps!

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

So... do you guys think that Athena makes mini-sized clothes for Nike or...?

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

This is certinally not the biggest issue with Perseus adaptations but what's with most of them either ignoring Dictys or making him a jerk?

Danae didn’t raise Perseus alone, Dictys was there. It just annoys me when that gets ignored to make Danae more tragic or something. In most sources he just helps raise Perseus without having any romantic interest in Danae. That is so wholesome but no, we can't have that. We need to have Perseus/Medusa.

“One woman’s suffering does not make the other less important” yet she had no problem replacing Andromeda and sidelining her, making her the mom friend and giving her some OC love interest, despite the fact that it’s heavily implied (within history and the source material) that Andromeda was a child bride for her own uncle and for all we know she grew up with him around and might have been groomed, not to mention that she was stripped naked and chained before being sacrificed.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

1)Achilles got a body part (the Achilles tendon) named after him and the Achilles heel is a very popular idiomatic

2)Odysseus didn’t even want to go to war. If he got what he wanted he would have stayed at home and propably be forgotten. In that way Achilles is the lucky one

3) Good. I hope he cries loads as a sulking burrito.

achilles watching odysseus gain the same glory and popularity that he died to receive:

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

It was worth it if I can save someone from going through what I went through

Ah, yes! The Camp for Homeless Demigods of Ancient Greece...

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

I don't know man, King Arthur might have had the better idea with the May Day plot. He just had to make sure all of them died instead of leaving it to chance

Because now you will have a lot of angry parents after you for kidnapping their child. Because thats what this, the Dark Lord (or whatever cool/edgy name they have) kidnapping A LOT of childeren.

The Chosen One who's prophesied to defeat you was born this month. The issue is, the prophecy is too damn vague and you can't pick off one kid to adopt and raise loyal to you. So you decide to adopt every single kid born this month.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

Again, long post. Avoid for mental health. Please send help

Artemis and Athena act like stereotypical Greenpeace people so Hades gives them a handful of diamonds to make them go away. But ofcourse this generous act makes him their biggest sponsor so they bring him to a party of their sponsors to thank him where this happens

I don't even know how to describe this or what to say to it but it not over yet because they have one more question to ask

I guess Hippolytus wasn’t among the Mixed-Bloods born in the last 80 years but we can’t dwell on this because I might throw myself out of my window if we do it is time for Kobe(now going by Persephone) is part of this Mixed-Blood Camp group and wants to thank their sponsors with a dance.

Let's just ignore how Persephone can be the Goddess of Spring when this before Hades kidnapped her and Demeter had to starve the entire world for her freedom and move on.

Now we now Persephone and is Kobe but Hades wouldn’t know that right? Persephone will propably have a crush on Hades and recodnise him but he will propably fall for Persephone slowly and only later realise she is Kobe right?

I thought so for about 2 seconds, then...

And that was that. I stopped reading at this point.

Why did the author make this choice. Yes in Greek Mythology age difference is ver ver common, including between Hades and Persephone but that comes from different cultures viewing relationships in very different ways. This is not that.

This is a modern story, one where we are supposed to view Hades and Persephone's relationship as cute yet on their second encounter Hades just becomes the classic older guy that goes "You have certinally grown into a beautiful woman." as soon as he sees the young woman.

This story isn’t concerned with mythological accuracy (I might be wrong but I don’t think any source mentions Athena and Artemis trying to start an orphanage for demigods or Aphrodatie putting on paid strip shows for the gods) yet they still kept the age difference between Persephone and Hades and actually pushed it to an even more extreme degree.

Ah, yes! The Camp for Homeless Demigods of Ancient Greece...

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

I knew I would regret checking this out when I asked about it BUT NOT THIS MUCH!

The series is called "Hades and Persephone and other gods ficletss" and you can guess what it is about from that name.

I went into it expecting Goth Daddy Hades to stumble across the Pastel Girl Persephone, them immediately falling inlove and Demeter being a controlling and abusive parent while claiming she was protecting Persephone. NOPE. I wish that was the case.

Warning: Long post below the cut and I recomended you not reading it for your mental health

To be fair the start wasn't bad

Zeus and Posedion giving Hades a flying chariot is a bit strange but hey, it is nice to see the three of them being depicted as good siblings for a change.

(Hades is 120 years old here. Just keep it in mind)

But I hope you caught that forshadowing becasue Posedion was wrong. Hades couldn’t ride the chariot and fell

Right on his precious face

At this point I was thinking "This isn’t bad. It’s kind of fun."

But then came the big moment, when Hades and Persephone(or Kobe to be more specific) met for the first time.

(she was on a tree because a centaur was trying to do centaur things but luckily Hades was there to help her out)

Ofcourse Kobe follows Hades and helps him in finding his chariot by asking a nearby nymph for help.

As they search Hades warms up to Kobe and it is kind of cute

Eventually they find the chariot and Hades gives Kobe a ride home and we get another cute scene

At this point I was actually kind of on board, thinking this would be a story of Hades being a sort of big brother/uncle to Persephone. A cute slice of life type story. It wouldn’t be accurate but it wouldn’t be the worst idea.

I was wrong.

Next chaper starts with us learning that Hades was the first office worker

Until one day, 80 years later from his meeting with Kobe, Zeus and Posedion call Hades upto Olympus for a show by Aphrodatie

A STRIP SHOW

(Yes the art randomly changes between monochrome and fully colored)

Ofcourse Hades walks out, telling Zeus and Posedion to send him the bill because apereantly there are no refunds and they had already paid for him.

At this point my good will towards this story was mostly gone but then they came

(Just ignore why Hades is the richest god or why Artemis and Athena need money for their legally distinct Camp Half-Blood, or how the gods managed to have so many childeren in 80 years)

Ah, yes! The Camp for Homeless Demigods of Ancient Greece...

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

Me:You know Agememnon, like almost every figure in mythology, was a complex character. Despite his many negative traits he was largely respected by the people around him and had possitive even admiteable traits. He wasn’t black and white, he was human.

Me not even a minute later: ah yes. Agememnon, the bastard himself. The absolute worst.

Modern Media Agamemnon: The only absolute asshole in the team. Chilling in his tent wearing flamboyant clothing. Barely fighting and when he does he always has someone do the fight for him. Always speaking about women and sex not respecting anything and anyone. Being the greedy embarrassment of his team. Gladly would offer his own mother if that would mean his victory. Always compared to the worst type of scoundrels. One-sided persona.

Actual Ancient Agamemnon: Strong powerful leader who wears his armor and always fights to the front line of battle encouraging (or daresay provoking) others do the same. Respected by his peers and always managing to turn the public to hear him. Performs many mistakes due to abuse of power but always tries to rectify them. He would do anything for his family. He respects his enemies. Speaks a lot about his concubines but ironically he shows respect for some of them (he defends Cassandra's heritage to his wife). Always compared to the gods. Complicated persona.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

The suitors didn’t know Odysseus was alive. If people knew he was alive the suitors couldn’t marry Penelope as she was already married.

How and why would Odysseus disguise himself as a beggar without Athena? In the Odyssey Athena disguised him and told him about the suitors. Without her there is no reason why he wouldn’t just return normally.

Not to mention when observing the suitors in disguise Odysseus observed them for 2 days and saw them abuse and break hospitality customs/rules which was a major reason behind the slaughter in the Odyssey. Their fate was sealed before the actual challenge. Where as hospitality doesn’t seem to matter in EPIC as Antinous beat up the son of his host and insulted her/his son (the situation with the suitors were weird as, from what I remember, they were technically Odysseus's guests but also Penelope's as she was regent). Odysseus doesn’t even really enjoy it and says it was punishment from the gods afterwards(IIRC) which is important because Athena guided him and somewhat assisted in the slaughter of them and later, when the families of the suitors came seeking revenge Zeus and Athena intervened and stopped them. Which is significant because they were the two deities that oversaw hospitality.

I’ve always had this idea of a suitor during hold them down being like “okayyy and I’m out of here I do not fuck with this- however there’s a hundred of you and I’m not Odysseus so I’ll be leaving, good luck to him though.”

Random beggar he passed by who overheard just mumbles: “thanks.”

And the suitor pauses, before just fucking booking it.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

I just feel sorry for Ovid at this point sometimes.

Most people who go with his version, never read any of his works, only use a few lines, and spread misinformation about his work, more specificly one figure from it. And don't even aknowlige him.

No. Ovid never intented the curse as a form of protection, or gift.

No. Ovid never wrote Medusa as a priestess.

No. His telling is not the oldest, and surtently not the original.

No. His retelling is not a methapore for the Mother Goddess priestesses being hunted (the Mother Goddess theory still bleeds in many holes), and no it's not a methapore of Patriarchy becoming a thing.

And no. She is not the most tragic character, even in Ovid's tellings.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

You know what's really funny, and by funny I mean frustrating? That last one isn’t even true in Percy Jackson or EPIC the Musical.

In Percy Jackson she was punished for taking the Titans side, so Ody couldn’t have been the first person she sees as she actively took her parents side. This is without taking into account how she mentions gods being generally kind and sometimes visiting her.

In EPIC it is a bit more vague but she says "Was cast away when I was young" whşch kind of implies she remembers her life before the island so she couldn't have been all alone all her life which is supported by "Alone for a hundred years" because Titanomachy was more than a hundred years ago(going by the lineages of heroes). Unless you want to argue Atlas had a child while still holding up the sky should mean Calypso wasn’t always trapped on her island.

This isn’t just misinformation through popular stories. This is just flat out false information.

Don't do it

Please, don't take Percy Jackson series at face value.

This curse *doesn't* exist in the Odyssey and Calypso has servants, she wasn't there alone.

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

The best part of the odyssey is when he said IT'S ODYSSEUS TIME and odysseyd all over those guys

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

Little joke between @neon-psychopomp and @raspbel-art 🤍

Happy delayed Pokémon day 🤍

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

[kill-me-with-a-spoon]

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it