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30 Days of Anime, June 11, 2016

Day 11: Saddest Scene

Kyoya’s family problems and snapping at Tamaki, Ouran High School Host Club Episode 24

Similar to how I did not want to pick the same anime twice, and I didn’t want to pick that anime for one of the 30 days (and I already broke that rule), I didn’t want to pick a death scene as the saddest in an anime.

Obviously many deaths are sad, especially when they are senseless and just cruel. @elliotthezubat​ already picked Nina’s transformation and subsequent death in Fullmetal Alchemist as one example.

But there are deaths that, while senseless and awful, served not just a narrative purpose but were actions taken by a character towards some end as chosen by the character themselves. Fujimoto’s death in Blue Exorcist is depressing yet was out of his own goal of saving Rin and stopping Satan. When a death exists just to motivate a character’s desire for vengeance or to suit a grim atmosphere, as with deaths in Attack on Titan, that doesn’t strike me as sad so much as infuriating and a flawed opportunity in a story.

And I think sadder moments in anime are ones where closure is forestalled, in which you still see a character never completely overcoming some past difficulty, not because the writers are jerks to that character, but because in reality life is not about getting beyond a problem but facing it almost everyday.

Ouran High School Host Club is most certainly a goofy slapstick anime, and of course it has its sad moments, whether Haruhi’s coping with her mother’s death, Tamaki’s struggle to form his own family, or the twins’ recognition of their loneliness and fear of their separation from each other. And there is the Kyoya episode–_that_ Kyoya episode, where his previously hinted family background is brought into the forefront.

What makes the episode sad to me is that it does a great job building up the comedy first. The first half of the episode is fixated on the comedy of a straight man like Kyoya contending with his new wacky, overly emotional sidekick Tamaki. I wrote before how everyone in a relationship has either been the Tamaki or the Kyoya (a point J. Michael Tatum, the English voice of Kyoya and English script adapter for one of the Kyoya episode, has made as well). The comedy is mined out of this initially one-sided friendship and the contrasts in each person’s goals: Tamaki sees Kyoya as his first friend in this foreign country, so he approaches the situation with enthusiasm, while Kyoya sees Tamaki as a means to end, so he approaches the situation with a cool determination. The episode benefits from building upon this odd couple relationship between “daddy” and “mommy” for 23 episodes, where Kyoya has not exploded at this goofball, and only hinting in small ways at Kyoya’s own past and how he first met Tamaki.

The comedy is also used so that the amount of laughter and joy from this episode cause the sadness of it to become richer through comparison: what is dark looks even darker from what has been up to this point lighter.

So when Kyoya snaps in this flashback episode, and when the audience is shown the familial pressure he feels to succeed, it resonates for me as a guy who has been so serious for so long finally fed up with feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and hurt–and he takes it out on the person who has been nice to him. And he wants to hurt Tamaki not just because he’s annoying but because he wants to feel even worse: he is punishing himself for some imaginary failing to match what his family expects of him, and if he could hurt his one friend, then he can feel even more guilt. That is disturbing, it is depressing–so of course, after all the villains Tatum has played, have him take on this role, too.

The sadness comes from seeing Kyoya realize all of this in one moment. Then Kyoya gets better. That’s why it is simultaneously sad and hopeful to me: he has screwed up badly up to this point in his teenage years, thinking he has to be so stiff and professional, but rather than dwell on such missed opportunities, he accepts Tamaki’s friendship, still holds onto his goals and personality, and has new opportunities to pursue.

The painting that Kyoya has been shown working on, and then pulling back to reveal he has been painting outside the borders, is a visual definition of “beauty.” Beauty is over-used and requires a precise definition: the best I have heard is that beauty is something that elevates the soul, gets you closer to some capitalized letter ideal–Truth, Knowledge, Wholeness–so that when that moment of beauty ends, you have lost that perfect ideal and now feel incomplete. Beauty is realizing that hole that now exists in you, that moment of understanding.

That is what makes the scene sad, because the overall episode gives a keen understanding of Kyoya, before it is gone. You can re-watch the episode can maybe feel the same emotion again, although it’s probably going to be different each time, sometimes clearer, sometimes more ambivalent. The benefit, however, is that this understanding of Kyoya changes how I view him in the rest of the series, and as this episode is a flashback, it prompts re-watching the entire series with a new appreciation for what the character is experiencing.

Follow Along for All 30 Days Here!

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they’re formative yaoi to me

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annoying boy crush

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I absolutely believe Dazai keeps Kunikida in check.

Look what happens to Kunikida when Dazai isn't around.

Dazai got shot in the Cannabalism arc and Kunikida ended up in a situation that got him arrested.

Dazai went to jail and Kunikida not only stole a car but than jumped out a helicopter and tried to kill Tecchou.

Dazai's not around and Kunikida just goes wild.

Kunikida tries to make sure Dazai does his paperwork and Dazai tries to make sure Kunikida doesn't commit a felony.

No wonder they're partners.

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two flavours

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i went roller skating for the first time recently so i was thinking about higugin & tachizaki on a roller skating double date…

i imagine higuchi and tachihara wouldn’t know how to skate, but junichrio would be pretty good at it and gin as well. tachihara would constantly fall on his ass and junichiro would have try his best not to laugh everytime. (and he would end up failing) he would definitely try and teach tachihara how to skate, but it would take tachihara like an hour to learn how to roll without the holding on to the railing. at some point, junichiro would be holding tachi’s hand to help him then just let him go and be free and somehow tachi would figure it out. then afterward tachihara would be like ‘yeah, i totally knew what i was doing that whole in entire time. i was just pretending, i wasn’t actually bad or anything!’

and then for higuchi and gin, higuchi had probably never skated before. everytime she would get on the rink she would EXTREMELY careful. gin on the other hand is great as skating. i like to think she probably went skating with ryuunosuke once or twice, #siblingbonds! she would hold higuchi’s hand the entire time and tell her what to do the whole time. (tachihara & junichiro would probably be so surprised that gin can skate so well.)

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ok bungou stray dogs fandom i propose a bungou stray dogs high school au…

i’ve talked about this a lot with my friend and i have some notes for most of the characters written done so i thought i should share them with the wonderful world of tumblr.

also, please note these are precisely how they are written down in my notes so if there’s typos or random things that don’t make too much sense i apologize 😭

☆ ADA

atsushi: 1st year, in several clubs, always jumping around and changing because he doesn’t know where he fits in quite yet but he’s trying to figure it out.

dazai: 3rd year, not in any clubs. he tried out a couple but then quickly lost interest because he said he had ‘better’ things to do.

kunikida: 3rd year, not in any club because he tutors people (mainly math, but he can do other subjects as well)

ranpo: 2nd year, in the literature club, he treats it like it’s competitive smh. ranpo, you’re writing books!!! calm down!!!

kenji: 1st year, gardening club! but sometimes he has other after school duties and can’t go. (he’s literally just farming, so really he’s not missing out)

kyōuka: 1st year, gardening but also dabbles in martial arts from time to time.

yosano: 2nd year, hospital volunteer club, she is very serious about it!

jun’ichirō: 1st year, cooking and drama club. he likes drama more than cooking club btw you didn’t hear it from me though….

naomi: 1st year, photography club, she doesn’t really take it too seriously but it’s very fun for her and she still takes heavenly photos somehow???

haruno: 1st year, photography club, all she takes photos of is cats 😭😭😭 somebody take away that girls camera!!!

katai: 3rd year, not necessarily in a club but he’s basically just the schools IT guy. when someone’s computer stops working he goes to the recuse like a superhero. but he’s not a superhero, he’s a guy in a futon.

fukuzawa: vice principal or something cuz I think it’d be funny.

★ PM

rynosuke: 1st year, occult club. he couldn’t get anymore goth if he tried!!! also he probably tried to get dazai to join the occult club one time, dazai said no because he’s dazai.

chuuya: 3rd year, martial arts club because the sheep are in it so, so is he.

gin: 1st year, ceramics club and she has so much fun, let girls be girls!! she looks making plates and bowls and vases and cups and mugs and all that!! and she also likes making stuff for other people sometimes.

higuchi: 1st year, ceramics club, she also enjoys it a lot, we all cheered!!! 

kajii: 2nd year, science club, that one club member that everybody hates. always blowing something up. He just likes inhaling the toxic fumes at this point, smh.

oda: dead man in high school omg?? 3rd year, not in any clubs but he constantly in the library reading the same damn book.

(ik he’s in the government, but i’m not making him his own section wtf) ango: 3rd year, photography club. he has fun. don’t take away his camera, please.

kōyō: 3rd year, hospital volunteer club and martial arts. she likes helping people so hospital volunteer and martial cuz she wants to watch kyouka or something.

kyūsaku: not in the high school, mori just babysits them. still in the art club regardless though!

elise: not in the high school, mori just babysits her. in art club with kyūsaku and likes to draw pictures of her enemies dying with little suns in the corner with smiley faces 😁

hirotsu: uh I think he should be the drama club teacher, yeah.

tachihara: 1st year, drama club and gymnastics. no further explanation, moving on!

mori: vice principal or something cuz I think it’d be funny.

☆ DOA

fydor: 3rd year, no club, he mysterious as hell.

nikolai: 3rd year, baking club, he always burns the food, but it’s ok!

sigma: 3rd year, baking club, makes the most angelic tasting desserts known on planet earth.

bram: I don’t know anything about him yet I’m on episode 3 of season 5 😭🙏

★ GUILD

francis: teacher! he would teacher like world history and obviously finances.

lucy: 1st year, baking club. she ignores all the lunatics (nikolai) and just has fun.

poe: 2nd year, literature club, boy it’s not a competition I swear!! ranpo is just annoying. just write!! be free!! have fun!!

john: 2nd year, gardening. he likes planting yellow flowers especially, I just know he does.

nathaniel: teacher! teaches math probably, or something boring. no disrespect to him though, he’s cool.

marget: home economics teacher 1000%. she probably lowkey hates her job though because she has to deal with lunatics (nikolai)

louisa: 2nd year, literature club. probably the only normal person in the literwture club somebody help her. also she would be francis’ favorite students they’re literally bffs 🤞🦄

mark: 2nd year, he probably wants to drop out soooo bad. Not in any clubs cuz he just wants to get out of there

☆ SHEEP

buichirō: 3rd year, martial arts, yeah.

yuan: 3rd year, i honestly don’t think she would be in any club… she would hang around buichiro and chuuya all time like when they’re in martial arts and stuff but wouldn’t be in a club herself.

★ HUNTING DOGS

teruko: 3rd year (bc i found out she’s apparently 26???), martial arts club and all fear her. 

tetchō: 3rd year, ok so i need you to hear me out on this club… fencing club… BECUASE LIKE HE’S A SWORDSMAN AND FENCING REQUIRES THE SWORD THINGYS PLEASE SAY I MAKE SENSE PLEASE PLEASE PLE 

jouno: 3rd year, drama club. Like the first time we’re introduced to him his arresting dazai with superb acting skills, like he had me fooled too 😭🙏

fukuchi: teacher i think. Maybe the martial arts club head teacher or whatever. He probably actually teaches physical education though. 

+ mushitaro who’s not in organization ; 2nd year, he would hang with ranpo and poe (against his will) he would probably be in the baking club for fun. even though he hangs out with ranpo and poe (against his will) he would probably never want to be in the literature club because even when they’re not in club, he always sees the two of the competing and he doesn’t want to deal with that.

i’m probably gonna write a fanfic about this, eventually.