kitsoa

[kitsoa]

hey hope you’ve been doing well and have been able to create and stuff

Thank you for checking in anon! I'm actually doing great. It's summer break and ive got a whole lot of nothing on my plate for the first time in ages. That said im artistically held up by a big commission-- a client asked me to illustrate this really sweet custom ABC children's book. The deadline was a little tight so I've been consumed by it but I'm on track to finish tomorrow after constant work. These kinds of projects really help me level up so to speak. After I finish im interested in getting some stain glass work in.

Otherwise I'm actually searching for things to keep me productive and occupied-- I sense I'm gonna get back into some gaming which sounds really nice. Anyway, im in a good place and I needed this! I'm hoping you and all my followers are doing well. Take care of yourself!

[kitsoa]

In the chapel of the Holy Ghost

I made this for a Knives-focused charity zine called 'Morant's Blue' (@morantsbluezine) and it's been a while since the zine debuted so I thought I'd post it!

[kitsoa]

I’m glad you’re having the joy and inspiration to create again. I hope this move is good for you and I wish you a lot of happiness in your life

Hey thanks anon. I can't wait to be past this because I have some commissions coming toward me. I've also been desperate to write again. I finally feel like I'll be hitting some strides of peace.

Anyway. Next chapter starts tomorrow I guess!

[kitsoa]

Man, the February, March, April corner of the year really hits like a truck. It's a hard stretch for the school year-- teacher evaluations, the slog of non-existent day off relief, grades, students going crazy... for me it means school events. Marathon style. Just always something rolling in the front of mind. Spring Break is stupid late. Next week.

Its also my certified "catch one bad cold season". Mine last a while. My voice has been thick and fragile for weeks now and while I was having some ptsd over my year of silence I'm finally coming around. Of course I'm not trying to be dramatic but I'm dealing with some tooth pain since Saturday because my mouth decided to randomly flare up an exposed nerve or something and my god it's debilitating. Finally taking a day tomorrow where my dentist could fit me in and knock this out. Get me out of this sensory hell.

It stopped me in the tracks of my big move. I'm living out of boxes and I'm covered in paint every weekend. The truck is coming the day before Easter right in the middle of my busiest singing season. I spent half my time on my parents couch. It's maddening at that rental and I can't wish it away sooner.

Anyway. I feel distant. I'm so ready to come back in. I felt the inspiration of creative and immersion joy watching the switch 2 direct of all things. Perhaps the health of my life situation is correlated to my willingness to game. My mind has labeled it my most unproductive hobby for some reason so when I'm gaming, I'm in a good space.

I sense an end to this craziness real soon. I'm so eager. I've been tired. Worn thin. But im still living it up. I just miss being connected to fandom and creative spaces. I can't wait to come back soon.

[kitsoa]

Hii please talk about your fav tracks from birdmen ost that doesn't exist!!! I wanna know!!! Are those like just songs or do you mean original instrumentals? (Btw I still have to give you my review of that eishi and his mom playlist, I didn't forget just so you know)

HI so this ask is clearly sent in response to this post, which I made in response to watching my mutual's video about the first episode of umineko when they cry (it's funny and you should watch it. hi silas)

he basically opens the video with "yeah so umineko is a banger visual novel with crazy good music. go listen to it" so then I went and listened to it and the music WAS good and then I got mad that I couldn't tell people to listen to banger music from my mental illness series because it doesn't have any music

BUT if we were to talk about the hypothetical BIRDMEN OST right. Hypothetically. boy do I have some thoughts for you.

So let's talk about the vibes of BIRDMEN right. What sorts of themes and aesthetics the series itself is exploring, and essentially the vehicle with which the author is using to sort of carry her message.

The visual aesthetics of the series are dark. Edgy, bordering on apocalyptic. High contrast, bold colors, and little rendering gives this series a very modern and futuristic vibe. Let's look at a couple of early color illustrations:

Even when she's working outside of this color palette, we still have those same elements in the illustrations:

Obviously not all illustrations follow this clean, modern aesthetic, but it gives us a good idea of how she thinks about this series. I specifically bring this up because Kekkaishi, one of her previous series, had a very traditional and historical aesthetic, and in some ways this was reflected through the watercolor artwork.

The rightmost illustration also features the red-yellow-black palette similar to the top photoset, but the soft textures end up giving it a different, warmer feeling.

What I'm getting at is that like the BIRDMEN color illustrations, which uses the digital medium in order to achieve the clean, bold colors, the soundtrack should also feature futuristic instruments, heavy in synths and other digitally created noises.

An idea commonly explored in the series, I'd say, is the idea of discomfort. The world which was once familiar to you is now totally foreign. It's disturbing, unsettling. I think the soundtrack should reflect that.

I think this song does an excellent job at capturing the unsettling atmosphere in BIRDMEN. Opening with the subtle ambient noise, the weird warbling noise, and then adds the unrelenting, repeating high note to build pressure. (ignore miku she's not part of the mental exercise) This is the song that convinced me a heavy, almost subsonic bass pulse like the one featured at 0:49 is an absolute must in the soundtrack. This type of sound profile, vaguely, is what I think "becoming a birdman" sounds like.

While most of this post is "yeah I think something that sounds kinda similar to this or uses sound fonts like this would make a great BIRDMEN OST" I have to pour one out to Cyber Thunder Cider (EZFG). This could just straight up be a blackout fight soundtrack.

Like, that super strong pulse at the start is EXACTLY what I imagine the throb of the back marking to be like if you had to express it through music. You know, this thing:

I REALLY like the timing of this. That first hit, then a beat of silence, and the suspense grows until the full energy of the track kicks in about 10 seconds into the song. You can practically hear Karasuma's mental monologue in the spaces between the beats. And when the track DOES get off the ground (haha?), it's got a very fast-paced, restless beat with these gritty synths. Despite its busyness, it's not so demanding of your attention, and consistent enough that it actually CAN function as a genuine BGM track in my opinion. I fancy myself an imaginer of music videos rather than an imaginer of animations, but unironically I feel like given enough time I could storyboard a gorgeous blackout fight scene to the song, that would literally be an animated scene and not a music video.

Obviously, I don't think ALL the tracks should have to be married to synths. I think EDEN's themes, for instance, should definitely have a touch of sound fonts that have a heavy religious note to it, like church bells or organs. I really enjoy wotaku's... hmm... I don't know what to call this... "Cathedral trap", maybe? I think it really does marry the reverent, intimidating Christian vibe with contemporary percussion. Haters may disagree but I genuinely think EDEN sounds like this:

However I feel like wotaku's music tends to be a bit overbearing and really demands a lot of the listener's attention. You'd have to slow the tracks to at least 0.75x speed to barely make them functional as OST music. special shoutout to the second one. I think the American flock massacre set to that song would go crazy. like if scenes of viktor making the decision to kill them, sanders and the other guy talking about it, was interspersed with the flock getting decimated? do you see the vision. the final gunshot is robin getting sniped. it would go crazy trust me

Now obviously we also have like. Normal Music, right. Like Music Which is Ambiently Playing in the Background While Normal Things Happen. I am not passionate about this type of music but I do still largely agree that they should still follow the synths rule. Here's some thoughts but these are largely subject to change:

This one's a fun one. I think it's worth listening to an on vocal version of it (Psi by r-906), and while largely it does fit into the synth-heavy, dark, low tones of the other songs I pulled out, it also has this really delightfully cheery section at 1:40. sadly I made the mistake of listening to it on loop while reading canis so this song is really tied to that series now. woops!

I am sure everyone is sick and tired of my bringing this song up at the drop of a hat but genuinely I think the blue sections of this PV are really great for the. normal and ordinary parts of the OST. it is light and airy and in some ways it really does feel like flying to me. but again wotaku's music is such a slut for attention it's really not possible to have something else take center stage while it's playing.

Something I'd really like the soundtrack and sound design to feature as like, a recurring thread, would be static. If you listen to some of the G-Witch soundtrack, such as these few songs (just listen to the first 5 seconds of each, you'll get the idea), you'll notice that there's this motif of like, a breathing apparatus:

I reaaally like this. They're pilots in space, and I think this being such a prominent motif in the series really sells the delicate mortality of a human body. It's soooo cunty. I think the birdmen equivalent would be static and here's why okay. "Communication" and "connection" are such huge and prominent themes in BIRDMEN, from the way they're likened to linked PCs, the nerve connections, the telepathy, and so on. Even though I personally imagine the tweets to be insanely high fidelity with no static at all, just a clear and platonic chime of pure thought, I still think static is such a good audio motif to have. Dead air is unsettling. anyways listen to the beginning of WAVE (niki)

those first 10 seconds are kinda goated. I love that in terms of the sound design.

well, anyways. my thoughts! enjoy!

[kitsoa]

Two sides of the same coin.

[kitsoa]

Birthday gift for a dear friend @kitsoa

[kitsoa]

Okay! Life rant. I just had my first concert since the surgery in July. I survived. I was nervous leading up because rehearsals were exhausting me. Endurance is a hard won trophy easily lost. Turns out I can swing it. It's nice to know my body has earned some resilience when a year prior I felt stumped by a chronic vocal fatigue. The concert was nice. It wasn't my usual group but I was pretty proud of the product.

As folks know I'm preparing to move at the end of my lease in May and my god that day cannot come sooner. In fact I'm pushing it up week by week desperate to get out of this empty house. My roommate packed away her room and took down half the stuff on the walls in January which triggered me to do the same. But then she starts selling furniture and just clearing things out. Its... a little premature seeing how I have weeks to still live here and try to be happy. I mean. I've already been left to tend to this house by myself. That's lonely enough. But nahhh let's strip it of the character. Let's make it unlivable!

Needless to say I actively hate being in this house. I'm surrounded by a constant overwhelming and never ending task to pack things away or donate or throw away or clean. It's downright suffocating. There's no TV in the living room. There's no Sofa. There are empty nails and studs where paintings used to hang. I stock the fridge with 5 things on rotate. If not for Cooper waiting for me. I wouldn't want to come home at all....

So about that. I've been anxious about my cat bc I have honestly been avoiding the house. So he's just been all alone as I'm spending my efforts at my parents house 40 minutes away. (I've been prepping my future room and helping my dad with the new kitchen renovation). I've been so guilty and worried and it's been so hard.

So i packed him up and took him to my parents early this weekend. He's been officially moved out of the house. My mom can be with him all day. He can spend his time acclimating and gaining confidence as we work toward integrating him with the existing animals. It was a hard decision because I'm actively choosing to live away from my son. But this really does soothe my worries about his isolation depression and stimulation. I have even less reason to want to be in this house. But that's my problem. My mission of packing up is getting done regardless of my feelings so my actions are solely for Cooper's benefit. This way I can focus.

So now. It's off to the races. The sooner my dad can get the electricity fixed in my future bedroom. The sooner I can just get into that room and rent the uhaul for my move. Man. I'm yearning right now haha. Give me strength yall. I got this. I just can't wait to be with my parents, saving money, being around people, working for others.

[kitsoa]

Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.

If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.

Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.

Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.

I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.

[kitsoa]

⚠️ Little flash warning

Song: Slingshot - Good Kid

Hope you enjoy :3!!!!

[kitsoa]

So I'm moving back in with my parents come like April/May and today my elusive roommate visited for the first time in like 3 months today. So she takes advantage of the visit and breaks down her room and packs up all the decor and items that are hers.... leaving my living room gutted. I was avoiding the decor takedown because I was sure the bare walls were gonna depress me. And yeah, it's looking a little more than sad, especially since I finished the job in some areas. But I'm also excited. Your girl here never wanted to live alone and I can't wait until that's finally over.

[kitsoa]

I like Vashmeryl very much because there are a couple very distinct flavors of Vash in it.

There's the bleeding heart, affection-avoidant, but brimming with adoration tristamp flavor. He's the kind that probably doesn't have the bandwidth to make a proper move so the relationship is just in slow burn or painfully preoccupied with plot. Much yearning. Very cute and sad.

And then theres the trimax post canon, dysfunctional, self-hating, recovering hero trying to figure out how to live and reluctantly attempting to give himself the opportunity to love. He's so interesting and frustrating because he's exactly as Nightow once described him romantically-- hard to love. But impossible not to. It's very distinctly epilogue style in that he's allowing himself to finally feel things.

[kitsoa]

every day i see swap aus that completely change the characters' original personalities to perfectly mimic the personality of whoever they're being swapped with. and every day i get angry. like no i am not interested in seeing character B in character A's body. that's too easy. i want to see character A in a hypothetical scenario in which their life played out differently. new doors open for them but at the same time the doors they're accustomed to suddenly slam shut. they gain control of different aspects of their life while also losing control. they do not transform into B; A is A down to the core. but what lessons do they learn? what DON'T they learn? how does this change the way they may carry themself, if it changes anything at all? if you can maintain a character's personality while adjusting the course of their life i respect you

[kitsoa]

two years is a long time

[kitsoa]

new alex dia article dropped and first of all go off miss howard but like. is it just me or is it completely stupid that the US is trying to fund antitranshuman bioweapons at this point in time??? like... what's going on in the heads of the us politicians. if it passes it's going to 100% count as "acts of aggression" by the fucking bird treaty and then what? are they gonna firebomb the ny flocks??? be real. the US military can't win even WITH ath bioweapons it's just a matter of how many transhumans are gonna die at this point

full article under cut since it's paywalled (sorry it's just screenshots I'll add alt text when I get home)

[kitsoa]

@birdmenmanga I am so glad you recognized some details about my symbolism and stuff!! The Schaffer painting to me held the best parallels mainly because of that Jesus expression. I like that "totally expected this" look, though I did have to adjust it so Taka wasn't uncanny like I argue the Jesus expression was. I also really appreciate the Judas pose as there's this "hesitance to even touch jesus" thing going and it suggest so much self awareness in the judas character. In my traitor reading of rei, we can play it straight and have rei struggle with guilt or go for something subversive but regardless there awareness of being unworthy.

I'm so obsessed with that sandflake texture. It just feels like me. If I don't have it my work feels plastic. Also I laughed so hard at Reis crunchy hair. I agree. I've been enjoying a boxy angular look to my curves. I realized drawing him that while it's been a hot minute since I drew him, Rei is hands down of my favorites to draw. And it's cause of that curly hair. Ahh birdmom loves you Soh!!!

Judas Kiss Happy Tanabemas @birdmenmanga! Soh is galaxy-brained. When I saw the prompt "Rei and Takayama as Judas and Jesus" My brain went Traitor!Rei theory and I realized I was being summoned specifically. I took inspiration from many biblical depictions of the Judas kiss thought this one draws the most from the Ary Scheffer "Kiss of Judas" painting. I added the little 'Christ' hand sign marker to really sell the imagery. It's perfecttttttt. I made this possessed because Soh is wonderful and deserving of great things! Thank you for being such a wonderful host of this event and a great collaborator all around.