kjcml2020

[kjcml2020]

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

[kjcml2020]

You'd sing to me, off key, but I loved it.

[kjcml2020]

You keep this shit in mind, y'all.

[kjcml2020]

EMS. Once people know that's the profession you chose, it's like they're looking for something broken in your eyes.

[kjcml2020]

1054 p.m. on August 14th, 2020. I'll be 28 in 3 days. There's a white T on a hanger that didn't quite dry in the dryer with the rest. Scrubs folded neatly on the couch for the next 2 work days. Chicken on the stove top, thawed, waiting to be cooked. I'm happy and sad. I'm lucky and doomed.

[kjcml2020]

[kjcml2020]

This time, 10 years ago, I was yelling for everyone to vote you homecoming queen.

[kjcml2020]

Now that I've earned my FL residency, going into a beer fridge at the convenient store is painful.

[kjcml2020]

“I’ve always liked quiet people: You never know if they’re dancing in a daydream or if they’re carrying the weight of the world.”

— John Green, Looking for Alaska

[kjcml2020]

As a lesbian woman, I've taken pride in the fact that I've never been into a claimed straight woman. Here I am, at the ripe old age of 27...facing that. I've been trying to distance myself from her. I'm attracted to her and that makes me so mad. She's my "type" physically but we're different. There's a different level of appreciation there, for many things in life. Why did I have such an intense dream about her? Why do I feel a sense of attachment when it's hard for me to relate to her? Why does she have this attachment to me? She wants to be around me but she has a hard time dealing with what I make her feel. I can see it. Slight homophobia or major denial? Regardless, now I have to find a way to manage being frustrated with my attraction to her.

[kjcml2020]

So, I met this woman. Beautiful, 25 year old. Long blonde hair. Blue eyes. Strong. Bold. Opinionated. Virgin. Doesn't drink. Seems to be unimpressed with the world. I can't figure out what she cares about. Cats, for one. Her family, for two. We went on a trip together. Any song that stuck out to her, she related to by remembering where she was when she 1st heard it. I thought that was kind of sad at first. I would hate to have never loved. At the same time, what luck...to have never felt crippled by a memory. Never felt poisoned. It's very Innocent. Deliberate maybe? Is the defense worth it?

[kjcml2020]

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