kleptoandpyro

[kleptoandpyro]

ColdFlash AU detective and forensic files.

[kleptoandpyro]

may the horse be with you

[kleptoandpyro]

Young queer folks. I love you. I love how you play with gender and sexuality, how you embrace identities. Your definitions and microlabels have saved my life, maybe literally. Growing up in a world where there was no word for ‘demisexuality’ was a very lonely experience for me. It was when I arrived on tumblr (for fandom!) in my early 40s that I learned a word that would have changed my life at 18-21. And that’s before we start talking about what it was like not to know ‘gay’ was really a thing till I was 17. Or that when I came out as bi in my 20s I got some serious stigma for it (including from friends who told me I was greedy and meant lesbian and should say it). Just to start with.

Things got (a little) better. The queer kids are all right.

So here’s the caveat.

I guess I’ve aged into the ‘queer elder’ space, and I didn’t notice till recently. And I’m okay with it. But I would like younger queer people (who have given me so much) not to victim blame me for the world I grew up in and the queer generational culture I move in. I’d like more younger queer folk to listen and not judge me by their own generation’s standards.

Don’t tell me I should have known the word demisexual in 2011. You were on tumblr then - I was not. I was marching and meeting with my queer groups. Some of whom may have known the word. Many who did not.

Don’t weaponise folks my age for an exclusionist agenda. “You can take the word ‘queer’ out of my cold dead hands,” my friend in his 50s said, when I told him about the revisionist history some kids are associating with the term.

Don’t share misinformation and wrong history about the AIDS era/generation and then tell me I don’t know anything when I try to tell you about what happened to my friends and their friends.

Don’t tell me your generation invited gender diversity/nonconformity when you weren’t there reading Gender Outlaw and Stone Butch Blues and organising the trans group meetings and starting the conversations that shaped the world you live in now. If you weren’t there when my spouse (and many others) trailblazed ‘they/them’ pronouns in the 2000s, you won’t know how they got pushback inside and outside of the queer movement, and how far we’ve - and you’ve - come.

And while we’re here, I’d like you to remember that there *are* queer people among the Gen Xers and yes, even the Boomers. We need to be humble about how much we still have to learn, but we built those foundations that you’re standing on, looking down on us. If you tell me queer folks my age should be quicker to embrace the concept of asexuality, for example, you’re right - but you might not know about the activism some of us are doing among our generation’s queer culture to change mindsets, building on an activist history that we’ve been part of.

You may not know how hard we fought and how far we stumbled so you could pick up the baton and run.

One day, you will.

Be good to the younger generation when you get there. I hope they’re good to you in return.

[kleptoandpyro]

[kleptoandpyro]

I'm happy that my friends see something about making weird wine and think of me 😂

If y'all liked the unidentifiable yellow glitter goo you'll love the time I made wine out of marshmallow Peeps

[kleptoandpyro]

did some coloring practice to take a break from scrubbing data, and i think it turned out pretty good 😌 might do this again at some point

[kleptoandpyro]

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

[kleptoandpyro]

I did my family tree a few years ago, managed to go back almost 1000 years through church records up one branch, back so far that people's surnames are just where they're from, y'know, and discovered that some of those motherfuckers were born literally 10 minutes down the road from the village I'm from :/ Still can't decide if I'm horrified or impressed to this day

im mostly interested in how many ppl are children of immigrants, so if one of your parents is an immigrant and one isn't, vote parents are immigrants. for previous generations, choose whichever applies to most members of that generation or if that doesn't work, whichever feels most right to you.

say where ur from in the tags!

[kleptoandpyro]

I have done terrible things, I am not excused of my actions, don't let your thirst for me blind you to my character, I've killed innocent people - imagine if one of those victims was a person in your family or friend group, would you still feel the same about me? I'm actually quite dangerous, what I'm not is a "poor little meow meow."

[kleptoandpyro]

The needles and seeds of Yew trees contain Taxine A and B alkaloids among other harmful compounds. 25g of needles or 50g of seed is enough to kill an adult human in 2-5 hrs via cardiac arrest. Grind it up, put a lethal dose in their food and they'll die very quickly. It'll look like food poisoning symptoms at first and then progress into a heart attack. Fatal yew poisonings are often overlooked because the only way to confirm is to find partially digested parts of the tree in their stomach. So you grind it up. You'll usually find yew trees in old graveyards and churches because they grow for thousands of years and as such became associated with death and immortality.

Notable mentions are also Hemlock, which grows everywhere; mushrooms we're talking the Destroying Angel, Death Cap, Funeral Bell, Deadly Webcap and Panther Cap if you want to give someone flu symptoms that progress to liver failure in under 24 hours.

If the victim is a forager then even better as then the poisoning can be explained as a self inflicted accident.

🙂

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

[kleptoandpyro]

Hey rarepair shippers, I'm about to change your lives.

The AO3 Primary Ship Search add-on for Firefox (it's called AO3 First Tag Search for Chrome) adds this little checkbox to the AO3 advanced search page

And if you check the box, the search only returns fics where the pairing you entered is the first one tagged. This is better than the otp:true operator imo because it will show fics with secondary/background pairings too as long as your preferred ship is the main one.

You can even use the add-on in Firefox or Kiwi browser on Android mobile.

Have fun 😘

(more ao3 tips here)

[kleptoandpyro]

We are happy to introduce you all to the Centennial Husbands' Big Bang!

We wish you a warm welcome to the Centennial Husbands Big Bang!

This is a Big Bang challenge focused around all things Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling) from the Sandman comics and show, brought to you by the @mr-sadman Modteam!

Without further adue, here are all of the details!!

Our stance on plagiarism and AI 

We do not accept nor condone the use of plagiarism, including the use of AI, whether in writing or art. If you are caught using either, you will be disqualified from the current event and barred entry for the other events the Mr. Sadman team puts forward.

General Rules and Informations

Anyone is welcome to participate! 

Fear you can’t make it yet? Sign-ups for pinch-hitters will be open later during the event!

You can sign up both as an artist and a writer!! That said, we do not want you to bite more than you can chew, be careful and conscious of the event’s schedule!

Joining the Mr. Sadman discord is strongly advised, as there will be event related channels and roles available, but not required. Please make sure to give us another reliable and quick way to get a hold of you in the case that you don’t join the server/don’t use discord often!

If you are under the age of 18, you will not be able to create explicit content for the event. As a general rule, Mr. Sadman is a 16+ server, be aware of this fact!

The Mr. Sadman Modteam is a firm believer of “ship and let ship” as well as the kinktomato (https://fanlore.org/wiki/Kinktomato). As such, and in accordance with the Server’s existing rules, we will not tolerate any discrimination and harassment in any forms whatsoever. This includes : queerphobia, homophobia, racism, content policing, hate speech, doxxing, shaming, etc. 

What’s a Big Bang?

What’s a Big Bang?

Glad you asked! This is a challenge where writers come up with a 15k+ words fic and get paired with a just-as-enthusiastic artist that accompanies their written work with a piece of art! A detailed schedule spanning around 4 months will be available down this post, fear not! 

15k is a lot of words, is there any other way that, as a writer, I can participate?

There is! We are offering a beta-reader partnering system as well as a Mini Bang!

What’s a Mini Bang?

This is a challenge similar to a Big Bang where you write a piece under 15k words! Do note that the Mini Bang does not come with art like the Big Bang does!

Why does the Mini Bang don’t include art?

This is the less stressful option for writers who still want to participate in the event! Less stress for the writers and none for the artists! That said, this might be revised if an important number of artists sign up!

I don’t think my Big Bang fic is gonna reach 15k, can I downgrade to the Mini Bang?

Yes! You will be able to downgrade until December 2nd, a few weeks before drafts are due and artist pairing starts!

I think my Mini Bang fic is gonna be longer than 15k, can I upgrade to the Big Bang?

Yes! You will be able to upgrade until December 2nd, a few weeks before drafts are due and artist pairing starts!

Rules and requirements

For Writers

What are the requirements for my fic? 

Your fic must be an unpublished, completely new work! It needs to be able to stand on its own (meaning that sequels and crossovers/fusions are allowed, but your fic must be able to be read on its own!) and must meet the minimum word count requirement, which is  15k words. It is also strongly recommended for no parts of your work to have been already published elsewhere (even small snippets)!

Does it have to focus on a romantic pairing?

Not at all! Your fic can be platonic, romantic, neither or all of the above, as long as it focuses on the relationship between Dream and Hob!

Does my fic have to be beta-read?

While it is not mandatory, we strongly encourage you to use a beta reader during your writing process! Don’t have a beta reader already? We offer a beta-reader pairing system! Just make sure to fill in the appropriate section in the sign-up form to indicate that you are in need of betaing!

My friend and I want to co-author a fic, is that alright?

Hell yeah! We love collaboration! Simply make sure to indicate it on each of your sign-up forms (meaning that each one of you needs to fill a form)!! The word count requirement is still 15k (even if you are one, two, three or more, yes!) and keep in mind, though, that you will not receive more art because there are more authors!

Can I have a secondary pairing in my fic?

Yes! As long as the focus of your fic is Dream/Hob, go ham!

Can I write threesomes, foursomes, polycules?

Yes! As long as the focus of your fic is Dream/Hob, please do!!

Can I write RPF (Tom Sturridge/Ferdinand Kingsley)?

Yes! 

What can’t I write, then?

Anything is fair game as long as it is properly tagged and/or warned for! Major content warnings (such as AO3 dictates) must also be applied properly! There is only one exception to this : work depicting real life children (such as the actors’), which is not allowed.

What if I have a fic that I’ve been working on but never posted?

You can totally use it! As long as your work remains unpublished, it’s fair game!

Can I write something for NaNoWriMo and use it as my submission?

Hell yeah!! As long as it’s unpublished and meets the word requirements!!

I’m so excited for this event that I want to write two fics, is that all right?

We never say no to more cake! Please do keep in mind that you’ll still have to respect the schedule for both works at the same time!

As the author, do I have a say in what my paired artist creates?

In short : no. While we do encourage collaboration, this is not a commission process. The artist has free reign on what they want to create that is inspired by your fic. If you can write what you want, then your artist can create what they want!

Can I already pair up with an artist friend?

Absolutely! Just make sure you tell us in the sign up form!

I don’t like my paired artist and/or what my artist has created.

While this is unfortunate, your artist has spent their own energy and free time to create their piece. To dismiss them and their efforts is plain rude. The mods will not step in and give you another artist simply because you are not pleased with your match. Your artist deserves your thanks, not your ire. 

What are authors check-ins?

Be not afraid! These are mostly touch points for the modteam to make sure everyone is still on board and on schedule! That said, these are mandatory! Failure to respond to check-ins will disqualify you from participating in the current event.

What if I can’t meet a deadline?

Please make sure to inform a mod as soon as you know! Accommodations might be worked out depending on the situation. We simply ask you to be considerate to your fellow artists, it is unfair to them to back out as they had already started working on their pieces!

Where do I post my fic?

We ask you to post your story to the AO3 collection! You are free, after that, to post it anywhere else you’d like and/or prefer! There, you will also be able to embed and link to your artist’s piece(s)!

For Artists

What kind of art can I make?

Anything from traditional or digital drawing, to photomanips, fanvids, podfics, songwriting, book binding and more! We only ask you to put some effort into it, after all, your author has worked hard on their piece as well! 

A few exceptions include : playlists, icons and banners. These, while being a nice and fun bonus for your author, can’t be counted as your primary piece!

How much art do I have to make? 

You are required to make one piece of art! But if you are inspired, more are definitely welcome!

What are the minimum requirements for my art?

A minimum of 500px by 500px piece for visual pieces. A minimum of 2 minutes for digital pieces. 

*If your art doesn’t fit within these parameters, an agreement can be reached between mod, author and artist as to what could be considered equivalent/sufficient. 

How will I be able to claim a fic?

Art claims will be held from January 6th to 10th to give authors the time to complete a first draft as well as send in a summary of their work. We ask you to be readily available to answer messages during that time period as the process will be held on a “first come first served” basis. You will receive a link to the claiming form at the beginning of this period. 

Can I already pair up with a writer friend?

Absolutely! Just make sure to tell us in the signing up form!

How do I get in touch with my writer?

Fear not, the mods will place you in contact with your partner once pairing is done!

What are artists’ check-ins?

Be not afraid! These are mostly touch points for the modteam to make sure everyone is still on board and on schedule! That said, these are mandatory! Failure to respond to check-ins will disqualify you from participating in the current event.

What if I can’t meet a deadline?

Please make sure to inform a mod as soon as you know! Accommodations might be worked out depending on the situation. We simply ask you to be considerate to your fellow writers, it is unfair to them to back out as they had already started working on their pieces!

Where do I post my art?

From your designated host (whether that’s tumblr, pillowfort, etc.) so that it can be embedded into AO3! We simply ask you to use the relevant tags and link back to your writer’s story!

I’m not a writer nor an artist, but I wish to help. What can I do?

You are very welcome to join us as a beta reader! Every author has different betaing needs, but betaing ranges from cheering your author on, to making sure their grammar and spelling is tip-top! This is an event-long commitment, so make sure you know this before signing up! You are also very welcome to share any relevant information about the Big Bang and join us on Mr. Sadman for all things Sandman!!

Event Schedule

Sign-ups : September 18th to October 21rst First Check-in : October 28th Second Check-in : November 18th Upgrade/Downgrade for Mini Bang/Big Bang : December 2nd Third Check-in/First Draft+Summary due : December 22nd Holiday Pause : December 23rd to January 3rd Art claims : January 6th-10th Art Pairings Masterpost : January 11th Pinch-hitter Signups : January 29th to February 2nd Fourth Check-in : February 3rd  Pinch-hitter post : February 4th Final draft : February 25th Posting dates : March 1rst to 3rd

I want to Sign Up!!

You can fill the form and sign up here : https://forms.gle/2RwZrPNxs4Y95oLS9

I need help, how do I reach a mod?

If there is something that is not covered by our rules masterpost and/or FAQ, you are very free to DM us here, on tumblr!

We are also available on email at mrsadmandiscord@gmail.com and on discord at Mr. Sadman

That said, the dedicated mods for this event are Winter, Aria, Ches and Britt!

Have fun and keep the Dreamling on!!

[kleptoandpyro]

Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)

Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker

You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!

The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.

[kleptoandpyro]

[kleptoandpyro]

when you summon 1000 crabs for science and then can't add any more on account of too many crabs on the summon button :(

[kleptoandpyro]

I thank thee for the crab army anon. None shall stand in our pincery path 🦀🔪

[kleptoandpyro]

Welp. It's time. This seal is drowning and needs a paddle to keep afloat. Send help.

Sorry about this, but it would help if you all could share this. Really.