knockoff-jumanji

[knockoff-jumanji]

It speaks! :0 Maybe it can help you out?

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"Ugh, whatever, just don't do that again."

"You- you're... you're a..?" Luke holds both hands above his head to demonstrate ears.

"Yes, a Stoat. Don't rub it in."

"Sorry..! Look, ferret, I'm very confused and scared right now, I don't even know how I got here, can you helps guy out?"

"Well, did you buy any cursed games recently? Cuz you're in one."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh please... Look, human, you don't want to be here. I don't want to be" The stoat gestures it's own form, revealing that their front left limb was a mere stump, "...this. You want help, you'll help me. Got it?"

"...O-okay..."

"My turn..."

"Oh shit..."

"HOLY FUCK IS THAT A COYOTE??!?!"

[knockoff-jumanji]

Chin up Gamer lad! At least you can make a new fuzzy friend now :D Play the Stoat!

"I hope I don't have to do that again." He cringes while placing down the card, it glows and transforms into a small, slumbering stoat.

"Awww, it's sleepy..." Luke's animal lover instincts kick in and he tries to pet it.

"...mmh? What is... GET OFF ME—!"

"OW!" Stoat's teeth are sharp!

"Oh."

[knockoff-jumanji]

...sacrifices must be made. Try not to get a papercut.

"Well, if this some elaborate prank, surely this won't..." As Luke nervously held the knife above the squirrel, a glowing symbol appeared on the creature's spine.

But before he had the chance to think about what he was doing or even apologize to the creature, the weapon automatically flew out of his grasp and slid into the beast's back. Something thick, black and clotted poured out of the wound, before the creature melted into the floor, leaving only the knife behind.

"No....nonononoNO!" Well somebody isn't coping well with the game.

[knockoff-jumanji]

Oooh pretty squirrel

Go pet it gamer boy!

"Ummm — nice... squirrel..?" The creature flinched, clearly not used to being approached for any reason other than to be sacrificed. It tried to run, but its movement seemed to be restricted to the space on the board.

"Now play your Stoat Card."

"Uh oh, don't tell me I'm going to have to — HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HOLDING A KNIFE!"

"Stoats cost one blood, sacrifices must be made.*

"I— I can't hurt this little guy, right?"

[knockoff-jumanji]

Wow! What a cool and immersive looking experience! Is this VR?

"No this can't be real— This has to be some vr prank, right?" Luke felt for a headset, only to find nothing, "Or- or maybe a practical joke" He points the camera behind a tree to look for a speaker, nothing "Or! Or!"

"Please, just play the squirrel card, you're making yourself look stupid."

"Okay... A squirrel, two wolves and a Stoat. Strange... I seem to remember the art for the Stoat card being different..."

He tentatively placed the squirrel card onto one of the glowing orange spaces, before jumping back with an "EEK!!" as it began to glow brighter and brighter.

There it was, standing right in front of him. A squirrel, made from complex folds and twists of paper. Its chest moved and ruffled as though it breathed — and its eyes were a frightening shade if amber.

"...What in the..."

[knockoff-jumanji]

I dunno if you beint challenger 2 is a good sign or bad... maybe the previous challenger managed to get out?

"Unfortunately you are mistaken, she has yet to complete the final challenge."

"...That can't be good."

"A game of Inscryption, naturally. Here is the first creatures that will be assisting you on your journey."

Something landed on the forest floor, which Luke picked up alongside the camera, "Inscryption cards... Inscryption... That was the video I was working on before...

No... no no no, there's no way... right?"

[knockoff-jumanji]

Well that's a bit unfair to drop you in a whole new world without telling you the rules! Demand to speak to the game master's manager

"Ahem, I was getting to that..." The voice was loud and distorted and seemed to come from ever direction at once.

"Ahh!" The camera drops to the ground as Luke covers his ears, "Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck..."

"In a way, yes, but first you must learn the rules of the game. Here, these will help you..."

The leaves in front of the camera begin to move on their own, creating a clearing. Eight orange rectangles glowed like candles, previously hidden by the mulch.

"...A game board..?"

"Welcome, Challenger 2. It truly has been ages."

[knockoff-jumanji]

So you’re saying you got lost while making a video in the woods? Can’t you just go back the way you came in? There must be a trail somewhere that you can follow at the very least.

"Well... That's the creepy part..." His words are shaky from running, "I can't remember how I got here at all!.. There's no trail or anything either, just..."

"Holy shit."

"Wh- huh..?

"I don't think I'm going to be hugging that..." He points the camera to a clearing in the leaves, revealing something huge and metal in the distance, towering over the trees and the horizon. It looks to be...a giant set of scales? "...what the..."

[knockoff-jumanji]

Maybe the problem is you're trying to find a way out?

This might sound strange but maybe you should try going further in

"I wouldn't even know where to start with that! There's just more and more forest and" He spins the camera around for emphasis, there's nothing but trees and leaf mulch and... "...What the fuck?"

The leaves crunched underneath Luke's steps as he starts running and the camera blurrs. "...What the fuck is that..?"

[knockoff-jumanji]

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

BZT! BZT!

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The screen flickers to life, revealing the titular "Lucky Carder" looking significantly more bedraggled and tired than usual. Behind him was what appeared to be the middle of a thick autumn forest.

"Oh, thank goodness this thing still has internet connection. I can't believe what's happening!"

"I'm hoping someone can help me out here? I was trying to record a video when I, uh... Well now I'm in the woods somewhere and I can't find a way out! I tried getting help but nothings working except YouTube and my Camera!"

[knockoff-jumanji]

▶️ YOUTUBE 3m ago

New from TheLuckyCarder: SW5zY3J5cHRpb24=

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The newest video from TheLuckyCarder channel has no visual component, as if it was an uploaded audio recording instead of a new video.

“Hey there card gamers! I’m TheLuckyCarder and…

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...HELP!"