korvaas-da-druid-blog

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Avengers: Gloryhole

(don't ask)

Avengers: Big Girls Don’t Cry

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Asterius begins his NFL linebacker career

This is one of the things that happened in our TOA game

DM- "You see what looks like an undead dwarf one balcony below you. He sees you almost immediately and dissapears underneath you.

We all proceed down one floor and watch as the Dwarf vaults over the side of the balcony and dissapears into darkness.

Ranger- "Alright as it is falling, I'd like to fire at it" *deals like 45 damage*

Minotaur Barbarian(me) - "So i just see this thing jump and get shot at?"

DM- "Yep"

me- “hmmm”

Rest of the group knowing what im thinking- "Asterius(my name), don't do it!"

me- *completely ignores them* "Yeah fuck it, I'll leap over the side of it and rage on my way down"

DM- "O    kay, you take *rolls dice* 17 points of bludgeoning damage as you fall about 50 feet down to the floor of this chamber. As you land you look up and see four statues surrounding a deep pit in the center of the room. On each of these four statues is a large stone gargoyle."

me- "Do I see the dwarf?"

DM- "oh yeah, hes dead on the ground just sitting in a heap."

me- "And I just see these four gargoyles?"

DM- "yes"

me- "Ohhhh shit. I'll use my action to turn invisible and wait for the rest of the group."

Next session

DM- "Okay, so when we left off, you all watched as Asterius vaulted over the railing of the fourth floor balcony you were on and fell straight down into darkness. Somewhere faintly in the distance, you hear what sounds like trumpets blaring a very catchy song (it's the nfl theme).” 

As the group makes their way to the bottom I'm still invisible but they can hear me because I'm a 400 lb minotaur. After we inspect the statues, we put a coin in each compartment that is color coded for a specific coin except for the platinum one(not my idea). We then make our way back up to the top and start discussing what to do next. We hear the flapping of wings and turn to see the platinum gargoyle flying up near us. 

DM- “Alright everyone, roll initiative.”

As we do and start our turns, the ranger does some damage and then it is my go. The only “logical” thing for me to do is use my movement and action to dash and leap onto the back of this gargoyle. I can't grapple it, I can just be on its back. And again the entire group knows what my plan is and tells me I shouldn't, but that's what Asterius would do.

When it comes to the gargoyle's turn, inevitably, I fall all the way back to the bottom floor, AGAIN. So I start talking to Moa, the spirit in my head. I then see a skeleton with a key run down the hall and naturally, like a dog and a squirrel, I chase it, only to be sucked into a wall when I pass a gem trap. I nearly burn, drown, and then suffocate in three different puzzle chambers and then I am thrust into a big room with 48 clay statues of warriors. In the middle is a coffin much like the one where I got the staff of serpents. So I start to make my way to the center and crunch down on broken pottery shards. I look up as every single statue turns its gaze towards me and begins to unsheath their blades. I stop and they stop as well. Then, carefully, I make my way to the coffin stepping around the shards. I start to open the coffin and see there is a music box attached to a tripwire and I go invisible as I trip the wire. The music lasts 7 minutes and the warriors look for me until the music stops. I then pick up the instrument inside and am greeted by another spirit trying to get into my head. 

Now, generally, you are only allowed one spirit inside your head.

DM- “Are you sure you want to try housing two spirits in your head Asterius?”

me- “Yeah sure why not”

DM- “Okay, here's whats gonna happen, sometimes you will lose control of yourself to these spirits and when you take a long rest you have to make a con save of 18 or recieve one level of exhaustion.

Shortly after this, I was able to escape the room and meet up with my group again. After two falls down a hole, I somehow made it out alive haha.