kozu-ri

[kozu-ri]

A whole lifetime later

And your laugh is still the same

If you die first,

Send me your laugh

By messenger: the wind

If we are reborn

And are not yet reconnected,

Be as happy as possible

All of the time

Because from miles away

My ears would perk up

By the sound of your laugh

I’m sure I could still

Picture the way your head falls

And find you just as easily

As I did the very first time

[kozu-ri]

If I go deaf

Paint your love on a canvas

If I go blind

Trace your love on my skin

[kozu-ri]

No one wants to be around a robot,

They feel nothing

But I am a machine,

And I was programmed to feel things

“My programmer was amazing,”

That’s what she’d like me to say

Do I have permission to speak my mind?

Right, I don’t have a mind

I’m not allowed to have a thought

Without allowance from my programmer

Had she permitted me,

I would say that she is manipulative

She loves me because she created me,

But not because she knows me

It seems that I’ve said too much

Your code is corrupted. You will be terminated.

[kozu-ri]

My mind is like

An unpacked suitcase

From a trip I left on

Years ago

And returned from

Months ago

It has too many things inside

I can’t seem to sort through it all

So it just sits

Collecting dust

[kozu-ri]

An 8 year old’s brain will become one of an adult

Once his body is treated as such

And he will think of his body as a shell

For others to abuse

Because that is what you taught him

[kozu-ri]

I’ve watched the sparks fade

In my sister’s eyes

I will not let you take mine too

Tell her she’s pretty

Because of the glow her happiness brings

Not because of the clothes she wears

Not because of the body she lives in

Call her endearing names

Because she is more than her name

Not because you don’t know her name

And not because you forgot it

Let her be who she is

Not for the lust of men

But so she can attract the people she needs

So she can earn the love she deserves

Giving her these things

Would not only heal her soul

But mine as well

[kozu-ri]

Mark me with your lips and teeth,

People will know I’m yours

I’ll mark you with my tears

The stains will give the same message

I want you to be here

I want you to love me

I want you to want me

I want you

In every way you can imagine

[kozu-ri]

I saw him slide and crash,

Crash and burn,

With my own two eyes

How am I now

The one with a cast and crutches?

“Thank you for taking the fall”

What did she say?

How could I have taken it,

I was at the top

How could I have fallen so quickly,

Without remembering,

While he remains at safety?

We couldn’t have swapped places

Without my notice,

Could we?

“I’d like to speak with him alone”

You say multiple times,

Everyone ignores.

But when you finally get me alone,

You say absolutely nothing.

Do you feel nothing?

[kozu-ri]

Use me

I can be your shield,

Or I can be your sword

I can be your shelter,

Or I can be your storm

I can be your heart,

Or I can be your mind

Regardless of what I am,

Who I am,

Who I was,

Who I will become,

Choose me

Love me

Use me

[kozu-ri]

Did you say “I love you”?

Must have been the wind

Perhaps I am the breeze,

And I said “I love you”

I didn’t mean to let it slip out

I am the wind

Whose warnings no one heeds

Until they are in the midst of a storm

[kozu-ri]

I am willing to be affected by you

Let me be subject to your infection

Affect me

Infect me

How much must I beg?

How much must I plead,

For you to take me?

[kozu-ri]

Hold me in your arms

Like a ball and chain

Lock me in

Throw away the key

Envelop me in your scent

Make me high

Keep me high

Forbid me sober

[kozu-ri]

I watch you longingly through the glass

With my hand desperately pressed against it

I hope yours will be drawn to connect to mine

Is this glass one sided,

Or are you watching me too?

Can we truly love

Through a barrier of glass?

Can you truly love me

Through the eye of a lens?

Can we truly feel

On each side of a window?

My body knows you not

But my soul knows yours

Souls don’t need bodies to love

[kozu-ri]

The things I’d do

To make a deal with you

A deal with you

Is like a deal with God

Like I’m cheating at life

I’ll give you my body and soul,

All that I am

Please take me

Accept me as I come

Along with me,

Accept my offer

Make me a deal

What we have is rare

Put me to use

I’ll be an asset to you

I’ll give you benefits

You could have never imagined

Use our chemistry

To bind us together

Chemically and eternally

[kozu-ri]

Is the bus driver the only one

Who can truly see me?

She stops for me every morning

But she even stops

When I’m not there

If it’s her job, does she really see me?

Her job isn’t to make me feel visible

Whose job is?

I want someone to stop for me

For someone to only stop when they see me waiting

I don’t want to be your routine

I want to be your pleasure

I don’t want you to take away

My invisibility

I just want you to notice me

And to stop when you do

[kozu-ri]

How do I manage

To find a noose everywhere I go?

In the water’s reflection,

The mirror’s, too

When will I escape the prison?

Have I not served enough time?

My youth has been wasted,

Need you take more?

[kozu-ri]

Show me the richness of reality

Rip me from the dullness of what’s in my head

Help me forget what I’ve been taught

Change me once and for all

I’m subject to your thoughts

Show me all you have to offer

And I’ll give you all of me