kraadnc-blog

[kraadnc-blog]

Reorganization - Monsterification

I guess you could classify me as officially ‘insane’ nowadays.

A deluge of thoughts have invaded my mind which rendered me, I guess, partially paralyzed. Barely able to function, work has come to a standstill, if you can call that work. Actually, I don’t even have anything I’m working on for almost a year now -- like a child flailing around, trying to look like he’s fighting but nevertheless a fucking idiot.

Main reason is that I’m feeling lazy almost all the time. Not because I am naturally lazy. Back during my alone days, I hustled like a MONSTER. I was never without work, even when everyone else is unemployed.

I feel lazy because there’s no focus. My heart is somewhere else but necessity dictates I should do something else.

My love of being alone, a perverted desire to be secluded, enshrouded by the darkness of a room. This is taking a toll on my relationships, my family.

My heart is set on machines. I love working on a machine, breaking it down, putting it back, seeing it work, wonder why it doesn’t work, the warm feeling of successfully fixing it, improving it. Most of all, I love motorcycles -- rebuilding, customizing, fixing, and everything in between.

But being born in a country where imagination is valued like filth, there’s not much money in it. At least not at this point where I am still grasping it all and could not be considered a ‘master’ until probably decades of doing it.

Which I am not afraid of doing. One of the reasons that made me realize I am fully in-love with machines is because I can do it for the entire day, for weeks, over and over and over again, and I still giggle with excitement like a child.

Sadly, this isn’t my profession and what makes me a little bit of money right now is far from this.

As additional topping, of course since I’m not working as much as I should be, problems with my business have risen and I’m on the verge of closing up.

In the end, I try to do a little motorcycle work, then I feel guilty. I try to do a little work, and I feel empty. So I end up inside our room, phone in hand, watching comedies on Netflix, laughing. Partially at what I’m watching, but most of all, laughing at how pathetic I’ve become.

Today, I was driving, about to get coffee. I suddenly entered a state of reminiscing. The old days when I had to walk several kilometers a day, every day, to get to work and to go back home. I was always first to arrive and last to come out.

So I asked myself, what happened? I came up with nothing. But for just a brief second, I sweat cold sweats and I got the feeling of how I always felt before.

I was grinding my teeth, impatient, can’t wait to get home and get started with work. Whatever work I have waiting, I’m excited to do it. I was clenching my fists so hard that my knuckles have turned white, the world turned black and white.

There was just me and my work and everything else is silent.

There’s no bridging moment. There’s no guilt involved. Just straight to being a MONSTER again. Will it last? I’m confident it will. If I ever catch myself falling out again, I’ll just close my eyes, go back to the ‘me’ before, and get the same feeling.

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First order of business, REORGANIZATION.

Times are tough, money’s tight. These past few years, I’ve accumulated quite a little bit of resources in the form of things, subscriptions, files, apps, etc. I want to document everything and work while making full use of them.

Before spending money on anything new, I’ll check if there’s something I can use, repurpose, or invent using my current resources. I’ll do this checking 100x before finally deciding to purchase.

This way, I won’t be spending much, if any at all, of my operational money on useless things.

Categories: 1.) Notes - I’ve created lots of notes that I’ve just put off. Research documents, project plans, etc. I’ll compile all of them into one Evernote account (my main one). I probably have about 7 to 10 Evernote accounts by now using various emails.

2.) Apps - I am subscribed to a few apps with my main account. Mainly, Evernote. I’d probably unsubscribe to a few that I know I don’t really need. I just bought premium because, well, I had some extra money at the time and I wasn’t thinking. So the new rule is, if there’s a free version, or another app that’s free and performs the same function, use it. If the use of a certain app has come to a point where it’s being used daily and would make me and my people’s lives easier, then I’ll probably go premium (A BIG PROBABLY).

3.) Books - I have downloaded a lot of books. Most of these are taken from a site which compiles pdf files of good (others, questionable) books on a variety of subject. The site is http://gen.lib.rus.ec/. I’ve uploaded a lot of them on several Google Drive accounts so I’ll download them all, categorize them, and begin reading one by one. So no more Netflix, right now, it’s just all books. I’ll probably keep my book notes here and Evernote.

4.) Accounts - I’ve signed up to hundreds of websites about now. Most of which are quite useful ones for marketing, SEO, etc. I’ll check which accounts I’ve got and document them all in one spreadsheet, noting down what site they are and where they can be used.

5.) Tangibles - Clothes categorized, gadgets, office stuff, and everything else. Compile all the details on a spreadsheet so whenever I need something, I’ll just search the spreadsheet if I have it or not. God knows how many times I bought something only to find out I got dozens of them to begin with. I just didn’t look for them.

6.) Tools and equipment - I’m not giving up on working on machines. I still haven’t worked out the details but I’m 100% confident I got enough time in a day to be with my family, work like a madman on my business (and future businesses), as well as follow my passion. If there comes a time when I don’t have enough time, I’ll go polyphasic and become an even bigger monster, one who barely sleeps yet can still function normally, or even better than normal.

I’m going to document every tool I have in my disposal. Same with tangibles. So if I need a certain tool, I search for it and find out if I have it or not.

7.) Daily tools - This include my main emails, social media accounts, calendar, notes, note taking mechanisms, etc. A complete revamp. Creation of new and improved systems.

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After reorganization: - Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Routines - Calendaring important events - Goal Setting for 2019 (for main business and other businesses I’ve put on hold) - Project Planning for July

Of course, while the whole revamping phase is ongoing, I would still be working on something daily.