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kxrdej · 8 years ago

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A year in review of the guys I dated this year

First of all, I would like to thank my ex-boyfriend Shaun for ending our relationship because without him this post would not be possible. Hi Shaun wish you well sorry for accidentally changing your name to dickhead on messenger. I don’t have a good enough reason as to why I did that besides the fact I thought it was funny, and I forgot messenger notifies you when people are given nicknames *slowly dies from regret*. I don’t know why I’m doing this but I’m bored as fuck, tipsy and I don’t have any plans for NYE so fuck it. Here we go:

1. Nathan, you were my first ever date after I broke up with ex so I hope you feel fucking special. I would also like to apologise for sleeping with you on our first date. In all honesty I did not plan that all (maybe just a little bit) but I thought you would not actually like me at all so I just said to myself “meh, why not”. That hook up wasn’t that bad to be honest, wish it lasted longer (hehe) but I rate it. You were great at the start, and then you kept on making up excuses every fucking time I wanted to do something with you so I got the hint (even though you said you wanted to see me again but ok). I’m still a bit salty after you told me you were so busy one night and you said that you couldn't speak to me at all but as soon as I went online on League of Legends I saw you playing which kind of triggered me a bit. No hard feelings though, I still think I went on a date too early when I was still a few months fresh off a break up.

2. Ben, BEN…..BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!! I honestly fucking think we would’ve been together if you stayed in Swansea after you graduated and if you didn’t leave for China. That coffee date is probably still one of my favourite dates I’ve ever been on. I know we still talk and shit and I tell you some of my problems over Snapchat even though you’re like a million fucking miles away from me but just come back to Swansea for fuck sake.

3. Okay I’m pretty sure it was George next (I think). Our date was nice, and we sort of clicked because we’re both basic Starbucks bitches. I don’t know who’s idea was it to go and have Jamaican food but that definitely was a good one. I think the highlight of that day was when the waiter thought I was chatting up a girl on my phone when he saw my screen when I was paying (lmao), and both of us just stared at each other like what the fuck is going on. We still talk from time to time, wish we could hang out more but you live in Bay now and I can’t be asked for that (jk).

4. Jon, I don’t know if we ever classed our date as either romantic or friendly but I’ll talk about you anyway. I miss you! You’re so funny even though you knew I couldn’t understand you sometimes (Birmingham accent for those of you who are wondering). Even though our date wasn’t necessarily going to lead to anything serious I still really had fun! That Mumbles date was 10/10. I can’t remember if we went on more dates but I know we “met up” a few times after that…..I definitely had a good time during them as well though! Haha.

5. Wahaca boy, I honestly can’t even remember your name because I only went on a date with you because I really wanted to find an excuse to eat at Wahaca. Sorry m8. You weren’t for me but you were nice just little bit too nice for my liking. (Edit - I REMEMBER HIS NAME WAS SIMEON)

6. For the sake of discretion, and I don’t want to disrespect you because you’re not out; I shall call you Nick. We didn’t really go on dates but we planned to after our fuck sessions. The reason why I placed you on this list is because we had a thing but it was complicated I get it. I just wished you weren’t such an utter fucking twat to me near the end like I should’ve listened when you told me to “stay away” from you every time you drunk texted me. Saying that, I would like to apologise for being a rude to you at the end too. The only reason why I was like that was because I wanted to get back at you. I don’t regret watching Guardian’s of The Galaxy 2 without you if I’m honest, and I know it made you upset after I did that. You kind of deserved that one. You didn’t have to block me on everything though you dickhead (lol). I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but I’d like you to know you’re still my best fuck ayye lmao.

7. Jason. Don’t say “I love you” on the first date.

8. Luke, we never went on a date but you clearly have some issues. We were speaking for at least 3 weeks and I felt like I was already going out with an over controlling piece of shit. You threw you’re fucking phone and broke it because you didn’t have signal when you we’re on the phone to me. I’m so fucking glad I confronted you at the end after you got mad at me for “being too tired” and not wanting to speak to you that night. Jesus Christ.

9. Owain, I know you knew as well that there was something missing during the few weeks we went on dates. I’m glad we managed to talk it out like adults and I’m happy you enjoyed the beach date I planned. Also, I know you told me to plan the same thing for another guy because it was good but you’ll be disappointed to hear I have yet to bring out the beach date after you.

10. Rob, I’m not even going to waste time on you. Bye bitch. If anyone is reading this and they’re on Swansea Grindr, if you ever meet a guy named Rob who had just came back from Australia PLEASE STAY AWAY.

11. Chris, the only thing we had in common was that Rob was dating you the same time he was dating me lmao. You were nice but you come off a bit too stuck up for me. Even though you said you wanted to be friends, I do not know why you gave me boring one worded answers on messenger every time I tried to talk to you. Are you just that boring when you’re replying? or are you just a twat?

12. Ryan, I really enjoyed our Las Iguanas date not gonna lie! I don’t know why you still spoke to me after I mistaken the jug of water as vodka (I know). Why did we stop speaking? You were great! Ryan if you ever get to read this I’d like you to know you are my type on paper but you said you fell asleep during the first episode of Game of Thrones and that you haven’t seen any Marvel films so you kind of killed yourself there (I’m kidding).

13. Rhys, or was it Rice? Reece? Daddy? Zaddy? I still hate you for moving to Mexico (I’m kidding). I’m sorry, I know I looked really bad going on a date a few weeks after you left. Our dates were great. You’re great. I secretly wished you didn’t find a job for January but well done I’m proud of you senor. Thanks for introducing me to Drag Race. You basically turned me into basic gay queen and I appreciate that. Also, muchisimas gracias por tu tiempo. I haven’t used it on my dissertation supervisor yet but I will one day!

14. Last but not the least, Tom. I legitimately thought you were the one. Clearly I was wrong as I’m sat here during new year’s eve writing this cringe Tumblr post. I really do want you to know I’m not mad at you, and that I understand completely as to why you broke it off. You made made my whole December. We genuinely got along so well. You’re the first person that’s ever convinced me in 9 years to go ice skating again so you were pretty fucking special to me. I still feel bad that you paid for most of our dates but I really really appreciated it when you did. Also, I know you secretly hated when I’d surprise pay for some our dates ;). I just wished you communicated with me more, you know, during that week.I know you said you wanted to keep in touch but it’ll probably take me awhile to talk you again. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss you because I do. For some reason, this affected me more than when my ex’s broke up with me (sorry Shaun, and Cory). If you do read this, you can keep using my Spotify.

I probably had some really shit grammar during some of those but I never claimed to be good at writing. Also, I’ve had a few drinks before writing this so my head is a bit fuzzy. Also, don’t take this seriously I appreciate every one of the guys I’ve met this year even though a few of you are scum. If I missed out someone then most likely the date was forgettable. Sorry!

Happy new year bitches! Here’s to a single, career driven, no time for men because I can live without one (for the mean time) 2018.

(Edit - So I’m reading this again on new year’s day, back to my senses, no longer drinking 2 cups of Prosecco every 10 minutes, and I’m clearly noticing a lot of grammatical errors, typos, missing words etc. (SORRY ABOUT THAT). I made a few small changes to some of them to make it flow a bit better. I don’t really know why half-tipsy me addressed the whole thing to them rather than in third person but I guessed I wanted closure since half of you I ghosted, or I got ghosted. Also, for those of you who really know me you guys know I’m an intimate person.

Anyway, I just wanted to say if you’re going through the same thing as I am and you’re in this cycle of non-stop dating, meeting, sleeping with guys or girls until you find the one and you’re struggling at it. Look I honestly get it. It’s fucking TOUGH AS SHIT. If only everything was as simple as ‘Hang the DJ’ (my favourite ever Black Mirror episode btw I cried a few times because relatable). It’s really not the end of world, and I know its lonely to be alone (unless you like you’re own company like me 90% of the time) but we’ll eventually find that person. It hurts you know that gut sinking feeling you get every time that new person decides to break it off, and you’re just sat there like “here we fucking go again back to square fucking one”. If you guys get me haha. If you’ve experienced the same thing or you’re going through a similar thing right now, I can’t give you good enough advice on how to get rid of it because you can’t unless you’re a robot or you’ve mastered the art of getting rid of feelings (teach me pls if you can). It’s all on time I guess. These guys/girls that you meet or go on dates with that decide to break it off with you after a few weeks. They’re just obstacles that you shouldn’t stress upon. I know everyone has gone through the same cycle of looking at your phone, checking their log in times, last active, snapchat location during or even after they’re dating that person (Hi Tom) but stop you’re doing nothing else besides hurting yourself. If you think that person is toying with you at the end then they’re not worth it. These people who just jump and jump on girls or guys, and just speaking to them just to sleep with them, or because they have nothing else to do besides adding you to their trophies, they’re not worth it. Stay away from dating apps (As I swipe through Tinder) they can be toxic (Grindr). Meet someone in real life. It’s hard but probably its better I don’t know. It’s hard to meet guys irl if you’re gay (lol). So if you’re going through the same thing as I am just hang in there, and be patient. It’s okay to feel shitty because I do but its okay we’ll get through. That anxiety you get of feeling unwanted I get it. Dan Harmon, the guy who made Rick and Morty, said some pretty good advice the past week. He said “Feelings are real, but they’re not reality”. Focus on YOURSELF. Give yourself the time, effort, and attention you deserve. The best relief to all of this for me was spending time with my friends, and talking to them. So I advice you to do that too or eat. Eating is good.)

Also, if anyone is interested in what went down between me, Rob, and Chris. I’ll maybe write another post if people are interested.

#newyear #2018 #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #relationship #advice #dating

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