kyouka-supremacy

[kyouka-supremacy]

It's always the head 😭😭😭

Absolutely hilarious that Akutagawa has died from head injury twice now

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he thinks fighting akutagawa will also lead to him being freed from the headmaster since akutagawa still represents the headmaster’s evil and philosophical, dominance over akutagawa is him rejecting that world view.

I've kept thinking about this because it makes for some very interesting food for thought. I think it's a reasonable interpretation of why Atsushi fights Akutagawa, but I offer: Atsushi fighting Akutagawa's evil is not rejecting the headmaster's worldview, it's acting according to it. The headmaster raised Atsushi to do good, in the way that Atsushi could only feel like he had the right to live if he did good by protecting people from evil. Atsushi feeling like he absolutely has to defeat Akutagawa and win over his evilness is exactly part of that “you were in hell, and hell raised you well.” It's made pretty explicit in chapter 39:

Atsushi doing good by fighting evil is exactly what the headmaster wanted him to do. That's also reinforced by how the headmaster was proud upon finding that Atsushi had protected the city by fighting on the Moby Dick, and kept looking proud of him in their latest interactions we've seen in the latest chapters.

this is related to your ask about akutagawa as a failed protector (super interesting answer btw), you said you wanted a story where atsushi loves akutagawa despite his evilness- but do you think that’s possible? or are you talking about him trying and failing to be good which atsushi acknowledges and loves?

from my perspective, atsushi could only love akutagawa when he’s making good decisions and trying to be good, when they first met he was the embodiment of evil and atsushi was ready to put a round of bullets in his back and later on the ship he hits him full tiger arm and leaves him on a ship set to explode (not saying he was wrong for that, just emphasising his hatred for that sort of evil that crushes the weak- which the headmaster also represented), he even states that it is akutagawa’s inherent evil nature that led to him being deservedly abandoned by dazai and he says so twice. he thinks fighting akutagawa will also lead to him being freed from the headmaster since akutagawa still represents the headmaster’s evil and philosophical, dominance over akutagawa is him rejecting that world view. (btw not saying that atsushi doesn’t care since he does save him several times and we get the riding scene👀 after he sees akutagawa being upset just about his actions toward akutagawa’s evil nature-he’s willing to kill to be rid of it without any conflict-> although his life was also on the line but there’s no remorse for the second- again not a bad thing, just a thing that exists)

it’s only after akutagawa saves him and shows evidence of being good (not killing aya) that he literally pulls his punches in constrast to before, and that began with akutagawa fighting alongside him and giving him support physically but also kinda emotionally. it’s not a 1on1 comparison but akutagawa can give his ability to his enemy and leave himself defenceless but atsushi couldn’t do the same (i.e. fight in front trusting akutagawa’s cloth defence)- so it depends on akutagawa softening first- i see it as a more reciprocated love, conditional on him being good to atsushi/good in general, but even then atsushi can’t fully trust him, he’s surprised at the random guard being alive because he doesn’t believe that his evilness can change until he’s shown direct proof.

sorry i yapped a lot but basically i think atsushi can’t ever love fundamentally evil being, he doesn’t even fully believe that sort of evil can change (until akutagawa shows him) and he can’t give unconditional goodwill toward that sort of evil either. (with kyouka it was always clear that she didn’t want to do this, she was being used as a means for someone else. she did have a talent for killing but jusf having that desire to NOT kill shows her nature- atsushi first saw her trying to be different-> hence she was easy to love.) akutagawa has to be good to earn his trust/affection.

Thank you for your insightful commentary!! This is a perfectly agreeable and canon-supported position. My personal interpretation of Atsushi's character doesn't quite align with it as you are going to see, but your take is likely to be even more faithful to canon than mine.

Can Atsushi love Akutagawa despite his evilness? Does he love Akutagawa for the sole action of trying to be good? For how I see it, how good or evil Akutagawa is matters to Atsushi a lot less than Atsushi himself believes it does. Atsushi loves Akutagawa, loves Akutagawa, it doesn't matter if Akutagawa is good or evil or trying to be good and failing. And that's because Atsushi is just one big hypocrite, because he himself doesn't act good for goodness' sake. Atsushi's paradox is that he only does good because that allows him to live; there's no true good, true altruistic inclination in it, and when one only does good for selfish reasons¹, I struggle to call it doing good at all. Not in the conventional meaning of doing good vs. doing evil, anyway. So why would Atsushi hate Akutagawa for being evil when deep down not even Atsushi acts out of pure goodness? I think this is further proved by Beast Atsushi being who he is: despite their upbringing being the same, Beast Atsushi turned out to be someone who works for the side of evil with no particular remorse. That further shows how Atsushi doesn't care that much about what side is morally virtuous. He will call Akutagawa a monster for killing people, and then he will point a gun at him. He will call Akutagawa evil, and then he will not do anything truly good himself. He is just one big hypocrite.

But watch out, Atsushi believes he does good. He believes he hates Akutagawa because he's all evil and he can't stand that; he believes that he's good, and that Akutagawa is evil. Atsushi is simply not honest with himself on the real reason why he hates Akutagawa, which includes:

Hating him for hurting his friends;

Hating him for the way he treated Kyouka, that triggered his “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’ ” complex;

Hating him for the vague nauseous feeling that Akutagawa is like himself, and thus being disgusted by thinking he has that kind of evil in him;

Hating him for being the assigned embodiment of evil; protecting the weak, defeating the ultimate evil, is all the validation Atsushi needs to live.

The last point is the most important of them all. Atsushi hates Akutagawa not because of the evil he does, or for the people he hurts; he hates Akutagawa because by hating him he gains validation to live.

So you see, once Atsushi gets over this sort of validation-for-his-own-life complexes - more like, when someone is finally going to tell him “it's okay to go on”, and that person surprisingly being Akutagawa himself -, he probably will find it pointless to hate Akutagawa, no matter how evil he is or the amount of good he does.

On a very different yet related note; it's also simply like… A more realistic conception of love. In real life, you don't love someone thinking about whether they're good or evil or how much time they spend stopping doing evil and trying to do good. You love them because they're them! Because of their personality. I think Atsushi would love Akutagawa because he's Akutagawa– for every part of him. And that does end up including loving Akutagawa for how he tries to do good sometimes, why not! But it's not any more important than loving Akutagawa for how awkward he acts around kids, for the way he speaks funny, for his stupid dry humor. It's just that he's Akutagawa, and he's the person Atsushi wants to be with, you know?

¹ The author themself admitted this: “He doesn't fight for a person, nor for everyone. He fights for himself, to gain his permission to live.”

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#akutagawa is geniuenly so funny for treating the mafia and saving-the-world gig as a 9-5 #half expect him to leave the fukuichi fight because it's 6 he doesn’t do overtime

Do you think Akutagawa considers the PM as his family, in a similar way to how Chuuya sees the PM?

I don't. I think I've mentioned here and there how whereas Chuuya hosts true loyalty for the pm, and indeed sees it as his family, for Akutagawa it's much more of just a job– a job that suits him, a job that's convenient for him at the moment, but a job nonetheless.

We haven't seen Akutagawa interact with the pm establishment as much as Chuuya to tell exactly– but actually, I find this lack of information plenty meaningful by its own of how Akutagawa doesn't have a particular relationship with the pm or considers the other members as his family (minus the ones that are closest to him, namely Higuchi, who he protected in more than one occasion. I'm not going to count Gin, since they're already family.) And it's very significative to me how when Fukuchi suggested he'd join his organization, not once he said “I already work for the mafia”; it was all about how his master is Dazai already and how Atsushi's life was that important to him, never that his loyalty actually lies somewhere else. I believe Chuuya would have reacted very differently in the same circumstance.

Akutagawa joined the pm because Dazai told him that's where he would have found his reason to live; but I am not under the impression that he ever got overly attached to the place. Even then, I would guess that Akutagawa still believes that staying in the pm is his better chance at finding that reason for his existence. On that note, I find it remarkable how when Dazai left the pm, Akutagawa didn't leave too. It might have been an option: at that point, Akutagawa was so obsessed with Dazai, it would have made sense for him to see no point in staying if Dazai wasn't there anymore. But he didn't, and I think it was for multiple reasons: it was Akutagawa's very rock bottom; I don't think he would have been able to think freely for himself after having been manipulated by Dazai for so long, couldn't come up with such a life-changing decision for himself in the immediate; then staying was just the result of lack of action, something about habit persistence. Another reason is that, again, he still held on a tiny hope that he could find a reason to live there. Lastly, I think maybe he could have felt like the pm was the place for him. Not on an intimate level like Chuuya, but still, a place he could work in and that could work for him. Akutagawa wants to become stronger more than anything else, right? I think he sees in the pm the kind of environment that can offer him constant challenges to prove his strength.

One thing I'd like to point out is that even if Akutagawa doesn't consider the pm his family, a lot of pm members do consider Akutagawa family. Mori's words at the conclusion of the Guild arc (chapter 37) sound almost paternal. Tachihara includes Akutagawa in his pm family flashbacks and calls him “aniki”. Chuuya (as shown by the little interactions they share in bonus content) is often harsh with Akutagawa, but it also feels a lot like how an older brother would try to educate their reckless and stubborn and a little self-destructive sibling: a bit condescending, a bit too stern, misinterpreting the other more often than not, but overall only acting out of genuine care.

And I've said all of this; but if I have to think about not what Akutagawa is like now, but about his future, then I like to believe he will slowly grow a little fonder of his comrades. It takes a lot of time, but Akutagawa is generally doing better, right? He's improving and becoming a better man. Like I said, I think it would reflect a lot in the improvement of his relationship with Higuchi and newfound partnership; but I also headcanon he would start going out with drinks with Chuuya eventually; and the times he nearly stabs Tachihara's foot are almost playful now. He's coming from a very bad place and it took him a long time to climb up again and get comfortable and familiar with his environment; but I like to think he'll get there!

I've elaborated some more on the kind of relationship Akutagawa has with his job here, so check it out if you'd like!

[kyouka-supremacy]

#gin haunts the narrative in that he's never there #but we desperately want to know what's up with him

Give us Gin and Akutagawa sibling angst please it would be so interesting.

Also the BEAST parallel it would bring too? Like you said there is so much potential going on

Please bsd author, if you're out there, send us a sign 😭😭😭

I'd give so much to know ANYTHING about Gin or the Akutagawas relationship. Like every so often I see someone go “it's literally canon that” and I'm like it's!!! so not!!!!!! For how I see it we know NOTHING about Gin. everything we go off from is headcanons based on very ambiguous mannerism and snippets of actions that could be subject to widely different interpretations. Please I want to know what Gin is like. So. so so bad

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This scene is so funny to me likeeeee from Akutagawa's pov?

I just joined a stable organization that works to do good and loves and supports me. For the first time in my life, I don't have to worry about food or shelter. I gained a mentor that cares for me deeply. I'm learning that life doesn't have to be soaked in violence, and I feel like I'm becoming a better person day by day. I'm as close as finding my sister as I've ever been. The only thing that could make my life better right now? A pretty boyfriend *starts shamelessly flirting*

I- skdfgkfdks why is Beast Akutagawa so funny

To make Beast Atsushi laugh, obviously. Next question

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Also bringing up this merch art

there’s also the possibility that along with teaching him mafia shit Mori decided that Dazai also needed to be a well-rounded young man and made him learn the piano

which brings up the question of how many other instruments can he play. does he know flute? guitar? SAXOPHONE?

Omg saxophone Dazai... For some reason I can really see Mori making Dazai take music lessons that he hates lol. Or maybe Dazai saw the sophisticated training Kouyou was making Chuuya undergo and didn't want to be left behind so he had like three months where he just started learning how to play every instrument ever invented, the possibilities are endless! Actual picture of 16 musical-instruments-phase Dazai following Chuuya around:

[kyouka-supremacy]

Could they have been one of these two?

The first one is from a pretty old line that's sold out, but the second one is from the same mayla collection and is still available!

There's little to no boysh collabs that I can think of, but I'll be on the lookout for them! (๑•‌ω•‌)ノﾞ

I'm not saying that the mayla Atsushi themed skirt would fix me but like. It would fix me

[kyouka-supremacy]

The concept of sskk having incompatible schedules (with Atsushi working during the day and Akutagawa at night) is very widespread, and vastly juicy to explore, but now that I think about it, realistically, Akutagawa must work less hours than Atsushi does. All Akutagawa seems to do for his work at the mafia are intimidations, kidnapping and executions, but c'mon, there's only this much intimidations kidnapping and executions the pm can require in a single week; moreso when you take into account that he's not the only member suitable for this kind of job and, given his high-ranking position, they probably don't inconvenience him for just anything. Add to that the fact that it's pretty much canon that he doesn't do reports, and in the end Akutagawa really works one, two days per week max.

To be fair though, compared to Atsushi he must have no protections and employment rights. If Mori calls him for a job at 4 in the night, he has to pick it.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Thinking about how in the anime Atsushi was perfectly unimpressed by spooky, horror settings that had even Kunikida feeling uneasy. Now I can't help but picture the scenario of Atsushi/Akutagawa movie nights where they pick a horror movie, but it's just both of them watching it with a straight face for the whole duration of the movie 😭😭😭

Atsushi drops the occasional “gross” with a perfectly monotonous and uneffected tone. A couple of times Akutagawa comments “Bodies don't do that when they get slashed. I would know.” Atsushi going “we used to have a similar torture chamber at the orphanage.”

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Thinking about that time I said “bit weird how in fancontent Atsushi is never portrayed to be jealous of the attentions Akutagawa gives Dazai” and someone replied “that's not how Atsushi would want to be loved” and like, 100% true. But today I'm thinking, what if that was the only way Akutagawa knew how to love. What if he didn't know love could be anything but devotion and obsession and negation of self. What if he started seeing Atsushi too as an angel and a saviour and a flawless being. What if loving Atsushi was just putting a different person on the same out of reach pedestal. What if he could never imagine love to be a balanced relationship. What if love had to mean pain and it's unthinkable for it to be any different. What if he couldn't love Atsushi without hating himself.

[kyouka-supremacy]

The remaining 20% he just stalks Atsushi

The concept of sskk having incompatible schedules (with Atsushi working during the day and Akutagawa at night) is very widespread, and vastly juicy to explore, but now that I think about it, realistically, Akutagawa must work less hours than Atsushi does. All Akutagawa seems to do for his work at the mafia are intimidations, kidnapping and executions, but c'mon, there's only this much intimidations kidnapping and executions the pm can require in a single week; moreso when you take into account that he's not the only member suitable for this kind of job and, given his high-ranking position, they probably don't inconvenience him for just anything. Add to that the fact that it's pretty much canon that he doesn't do reports, and in the end Akutagawa really works one, two days per week max.

To be fair though, compared to Atsushi he must have no protections and employment rights. If Mori calls him for a job at 4 in the night, he has to pick it.

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💌 What Meursault could have been because fyozai are the most unserious duo💌

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day 7🎉

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yosano

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thinking about bsd wan preschool au

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Look at what I found in my drawings

Doofenzai is a monstrosity