labcoatfucker

[labcoatfucker]

i think i censored the only part that would get me in trouble. hopefully.

[labcoatfucker]

[labcoatfucker]

doing exposure therapy by asking you if you want to do some queerplatonic bullshit for a little while, understanding that there are two possible good endings: you say no and i can go back to feeling like i'm not dying all the time, or you say yes and my brain finally dissolves and leaks out my ears fully, allowing me to progress toward escaping samsara

[labcoatfucker]

hey i'm moving do you want your roku? how about the lamp? do you still jack off to the thought of me cumming in your mouth? yeah i figured you'd be nocturnal still. do you still piss on the floor in the morning? did you figure out how to cook for yourself? sure, thursday evening works. see you then.

[labcoatfucker]

i am obsessed with you the way we're both obsessed with machines and i want to have a threesome with you and a computer pleas,e

[labcoatfucker]

[labcoatfucker]

actually unironically kigurumi masks, those black hoods with red mouths, and clear/off-yellow rubber are the only bad versions of latex get those the fuck away from me forever

[labcoatfucker]

rubber mask tier list when

[labcoatfucker]

dropping one singular question about your interests in your DMs like a cat giving you a dead bird but running away immediately like ive handed you a live grenade

[labcoatfucker]

what do i even say like "hi. we've had four real conversations ever but i've read all of your writing twelve thousand times. i know nothing about you. we have a few things in common and i think i'm in love with you"

you people value honesty so much but if i dont keep this thing on a short leash behind four layers of brick wall i will scare you away with how readily i get so affectionate. it's so intense it makes me seem like a creep. i do not want to have sex with you i just... want to be friends so badly, it's leachate spilling out of my stupid carcass. worse still, if i get tired and you can't match my energy and the relationship goes quiet, my bones will have decomposed to thoroughly by then that they'll be crushed to a nutrient-rich powder beneath the weight.

[labcoatfucker]

real pining hours

i live my life looking at people through saran wrap. once in a blue moon i catch a breath of fresh air through a hole in the plastic and see part of somebody's face more clearly. like. other relationships are workable, i've learned how to live through a plastic sheet. i'll go long enough suffocating that i'll convince myself this is just how i am, and then i see one fraction of one person's face and catch just a fraction of a breath of cold air and i remember i am capable of feeling close to people and it just doesn't happen that often for some reason. lol

[labcoatfucker]

anyone expresses any interest ever and i do multivariable calculus to figure out how exactly i could be misreading. i have to contain the unfathomable "OH MY GOD, YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME?" energy that will otherwise spill out and kill us all demon core style

[labcoatfucker]

me when i am a FOOL

[labcoatfucker]

you and me wearing radiation suits and surviving the apocalypse together, learning to be satisfied with only rarely touching each other skin to skin. without any faces to read or small issues to get hung up on we'll only get closer. oh! hold me in such a way i'll only feel the pressure, not the texture of your clothes or the sweat on your skin. you'll be so used to loving me with my plastic and rubber face that the human one underneath it all feels as unnatural to you as it feels to me.

[labcoatfucker]

nothing like having a fetish for an unusual thing and then seeing pics of it where people have clearly missed the painfully horny undertones because it's such a bizarre thing to sexualize, but You Know. You Are Aware Of The Artist's Intent. and you can't really do anything about it without outing yourself

[labcoatfucker]

it's not that the machines themselves are hot, it's that the almost meditative state of mentally taking something apart feels deeper than any other emotional bond. it's like a longer, more reproducible version of those "now I understand you" moments i've had with people i've gotten the closest to. it feels like finally getting up and stretching after a long car ride. it feels like i'm running at top speed for miles and not getting tired.

and as an autistic person i've been explaining myself in machine terms forever. i think that's why, unlike even in those moments with other people, i can feel like the computer and me are the same kind of animal

[labcoatfucker]

unzips pants

opens autocad