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[ladevo-tea]

Tender is the Flesh

Author: Agustina Bazterrica

Translator: Sarah Moses

Notes: ❗️18+❗️, Dystopian, NSFW, Intense Gore and Graphic Descriptions of Violence, Graphic Descriptions of Rape and Murder, Strong Language, Animal Cruelty, Child Abuse, Cannibalism

Rating: ★★★★★ (4.8)

He knows why he does this work. Because he's the best and they pay him accordingly, because he doesn't know how to do anything else, and because his father's health depends on it. There are times when one has to bear the weight of the world.

Holy Shit...

First of all, I'd like to say that Joseph Balderrama did a fantastic job narrating the audiobook on Audible. He absolutely nailed each character's voice and personality no matter how sparsely we met someone.

Second, this is a book you have to go into with an open mind. It's fucked up, to put it as bluntly and as lightly as possible. Just keep in mind that it's supposed to be and it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

As for the story itself, just...wow. I've never read a book that's made me this grossed out and repulsed, but didnt want to put it down. I expected a roller coaster - a story with moral aversion and grotesque imagery in constant ups and downs - but this book had me constantly feeling like I was on an incline. When something fucked up happened, I always thought that there was no way it could get worse - and then it did. Then the ending just throws you off a cliff to plummet straight down.

This book is not for the weak of heart or those who don't like gore or may be easily triggered by rape, child abuse, or animal abuse. It's not for everyone, but I would recommend reading it if you are a horror fan.

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Wilder Girls

Author: Rory Power

Notes: Dystopian, YA, LGBT+, Strong Gore and Violence

Rating: ★★★★ (4)

“It’s like that, with all of us here. Sick, strange, and we don’t know why. Things bursting out of us, bits missing and pieces sloughing off, and then we harden and smooth over.”

*SPOILERS*

I have a soft spot for dystopian novels, and I was recommended this book since I like The Last of Us. I went in with high expectations and didn't come out disappointed. I even got my husband to let me read the whole thing to him, and he stayed thoroughly invested - an achievement since he has ADHD.

Rory Power puts us into an island girls' school, overrun with a sickness known as the "Tox" - which infects and sometimes kills the girls as well as the very nature and wildlife around them - changing their bodies and turning them feral.

We follow Hetty and her two best friends, Byatt and Reese, and learn that despite the Tox altering their appearances, sometimes there's things in them that were vicious before the Tox ever came along.

In a roundabout kind of way, Wilder Girls struck me as a coming of age story about exactly what lengths people will go to for the ones they love. Just, in this story's case, actions have more dire consequences.

I took a star away because - even though it was deliberate - the choppy sentences and thoughts were sometimes hard to follow. Then there was the somewhat cliffhanger ending that left more answers instead of already-asked questions.

We learn that the Tox comes from a prehistoric parasite that was uncovered after icecaps and icebergs melted. Something that Power revealed was inspired by her fear of global warming. So this book also serves as a harbinger of modern problems and fears. I mention this because by the end of the book, Byatt has cut the parasite from her body, but Hetty and Reese are still infected and heading towards the mainland after escaping and surviving the island being purged. I just wonder what will happen when they make landfall and if they'll get the answers they want.

Overall, it was a well built story, and one that kept you on your toes. Some moments making you read faster just because of how adrenaline packed it was. Then others making your skin crawl for how detailed it was in the girls' endeavors. Pick up this book.

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A Court of Silver Flames

Author: Sarah J. Maas

Notes: Fantasy, 18+, PTSD/Anxiety, TW: Rape and like themes

Rating: ★★★★ (4)

Power lay in her hand. Death gripped her by the other.

*SPOILERS*

I went into this book with extravagantly low expectations. Truthfully, I didn’t want to read it and only chose to to spare my Discord group from having to endure it. 😅

If you’re not new to my blog, you know I’m definitely not a fan of Nesta Archeron. She’s always picked favorites regarding her sisters, generally doesn’t treat people well, seems spoiled and entitled to the nicer things in life, and abused the hospitality offered to her after the War. She had extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms and an even more toxic outlook on any sort of relationship - familial or other wise.

However, I’m delighted to say that I was pleasantly surprised with this book. While it still took Nesta a long time to come to terms with her traumas and short comings - thus leading to many more of her hurtful outbreaks - she healed. She realized herself how awful she had been and grew from it.

I take a star away because if it’s one thing Maas cannot do is commit. She can’t kill characters and there isn’t much surprise value. So when Feyre was faced with death while giving birth, I - personally - had no true fear that Feyre would die. And, lo and behold, I was correct. Even with the fact that both her and Rhys would die because they bound their lives (which is absolutely stupid btw), I knew Maas wouldn’t kill them both. It’s kinda frustrating that there’s always a “power that is” that saves characters from certain death. I kinda hope that changes, but I doubt it will.

All this being said, while I can respect Nesta’s character now, it doesn’t change how I feel about her actions pre-acosf. She was very cruel and had awful ways of coping. I’m glad that she healed and that we can now begin to see this badass, no-nonsense woman she was meant to be from the get go.

In the end, I’m excited to see where Nesta goes and if she’ll continue rebuilding the Valkyries with Emerie and Gwyn. It would be amazing to see her lead a group of warrior women and show more of her skill in the coming conflict.

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Teatime

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Bared to You

Author: Sylvia Day

Notes: NSFW, 18+, Romance, TW: Sexual Abuse/Rape

Rating: ★★★ (3)

*SPOILERS*

I’m on a bit of a smutty book binge because of my sister at the moment, so forgive me for that.

I’ll just start by saying that this book was WAY better than Fifty Shades. While Gideon Cross is still a self-proclaimed control freak, super rich, and has a dark past - much like Christian Grey - Day managed to convey it in a less abusive way than James did with Fifty Shades.

Of course, I prefer slow burns - which neither series had - so I had trouble buying Eva and Gideon’s relationship. Moreso, that it evolved into “love” so quickly. And while Eva is more self respecting and confident because of her past, she still loses all brain cells and functionality when it comes to Cross - giving control to him. Maybe it’s just something I don’t understand, but it didn’t make sense to me.

Then there was the borderline rape scene, when Gideon attempts to rape Eva during a night terror. Even down to Gideon having violently sexual night terrors in general really didn’t sit right with me, and I wasn’t entirely sure it was necessary. But then, we aren’t given detail into Gideon’s trauma yet. I’m also displeased with the turn Cary’s character took, and I hope he gets redeemed in the series.

Other than those details, the book ended rather abruptly. There was no touching or meaningful ending, and it seemed unfinished or rushed to end. And while I recommend this book over Fifty Shades any day, some of the diction was just weird to me. I get Day went for a primal aspect of the sex scenes, but some words just didn’t do it for me (see: “cleft” to describe a vagina).

Overall, it was a decent read if you’re looking for something smutty.

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Fifty Shades Freed

Author: E.L. James

Notes: BDSM, NSFW, 18+, TW: [Sexual] Abuse

Rating: ★★ (2)

*SPOILERS*

ChristianGreyhasarapefantasyChristianGreyhasarapefantasyChristianGreyhas-

Oh sorry, I just can’t get over how fucking GROSS I felt reading the last book of this trilogy, so my review may come off jokingly now and then - it’s really just a coping mechanism.

I literally only gave this book these two stars because of the last couple chapters and the epilogue. Those pages had me on the edge of my seat and were quite endearing, to an extent. Somethings still rubbed me the wrong way (sexual pun not intended), but with Ana involved in a hostage situation - it had me wishing the whole series had been that sort of mafia-esque.

To start, however, Christian and Ana are now married, after only knowing each other for 2 months. 🚩 But after their honeymoon, and even before hand (with Christian’s father requesting a prenup and Christian wanting Ana to put IN HER WEDDING VOWS that she would, quote, “obey him”) there’s already trouble in their newly found paradise.

A psychopath is trying to harm Ana and Christian - who we find out is Jack Hyde, Ana’s former creepy boss who sexually assaulted her in the previous book. Because of this, Christian goes more insane than usual in an attempt to protect Ana and his family. While some moments of the book were touching, and we see Christian break out of his shell, he is a very damaged person who desires and needs control over everything - including his wife - which he states multiple times. 🚩

Aside from the rather...vulgar interactions, for lack of a better word, this book just made me super Uncomfy™. Christian uses sex as a way to avoid confrontation, and Ana allows it to happen. I hated how literally NONE of their fights were resolved in any meaningful way - because they either ended it with sex or just let it lie because they didn’t want to fight or because they would “try” to be better in regards towards each other’s wishes. (They didn’t really.) And yes, Christian Grey came a long way through the series. But the rape fantasy just really didn’t do it for me, and I was appalled that James wrote it in. (See below picture for context.)

Not only that, but Christian has severe anger issues and completely loses his cool when Ana doesn’t do something he wants her to (not sexually, but in her everyday life). Because, personal opinion, Ana should have left him after his reaction to her telling him she’s pregnant, because fuck that. On top of that, he’s adamantly told Ana that he wants to “beat the shit out of” her. Emotional manipulation is just as bad as any abuse.

But Ana let’s it slide. She amounts it to “that’s just how he is” because of his trauma. It just really didn’t sit right with me at all, because even though Ana stands up to him - she’s still scared of him and she’s scared he’ll leave her or grow tired of her because she “can’t be what he needs.” She ALWAYS tries to see the good in him. 🚩🚩🚩

(Note how she even admits that he’s hurt her emotionally, which we very much see when she tells him she’s pregnant.)

Overall...I don’t think I’d recommend this series to anyone. I only read it because it was a huge deal for a long time, and I never had before. I wanted to see what the hype was about. This book can be triggering for many people, and I think it gives BDSM and Dom/Sub culture a bad name.

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Fifty Shades Darker

Author: E.L. James

Notes: Romance, NSFW, BDSM, 18+

Rating: ★★★ (3)

*SPOILERS*

Okay, listen—LISTEN. I feel you judging me already as you read this review. HOWEVER-

I enjoyed this one more than the first. That’s not saying that it was a good book by any means - just that it was more bearable than the first book.

Christian Grey has finally opened up about his past and all his demons, and hoo boi. It’s a lot. However, I will never see it as an excuse to stalk your girlfriend and try to control nearly every aspect in her life. And while Ana continuously stands up to him about it, she eventually relinquishes her discomfort because “she loves him” and “that’s just how he is, which is understandable.”

Nah, sis. That’s abusive and frankly extremely creepy. And I’m disturbed that James sexualizes this extremely mentally unstable man. How she sexualizes mental issues in general.

I do admit I enjoyed when the creepy controlling stopped. Grey still had anger issues, but it was a nice change of pace when he wasn’t being an asshole and Ana wasn’t afraid to be herself - as relationships should be.

I’m still not over the fact that they’ve only known each other for just over a month and are already engaged, but who am I, y’know? Personally, I would have already left his ass - no matter how much it hurt me or him (because that’s emotional manipulation, Ana sweety) - as soon as he tracked my phone or yelled at me over some stupid shit.

Needless to say, these characters are flawed, and E.L. James sexualizes abuse and tries to spin it so that it doesn’t seem like abuse - but rather like a sexy, brooding, protective guy. But that ain’t it.

I’m only continuing this series, again, for the experience. Read it, if you want, just for that bragging right.

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Fifty Shades of Grey

Author: E.L. James

Notes: NSFW, Romance, BDSM, 18+

Rating: ★★★ (2.5)

Perhaps I’ve spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.

*SPOILERS*

I’m not going to lie, I read this book in 2020 soully for the reason that I haven’t before. I did it for the memes/for the vine/for the experience. Who knows?

I gave it a 2.5 because I was constantly teetering between a two and a three, so I met in the middle. This book was a damn rollercoaster. One second I’m like 😬 and another I’m like 🥺 or 😨.

Christian Grey is this rich, hot guy with a dark, kinky side. It just so happens that the extremely innocent and awkward Ana Steele is the next to get caught up in his world.

For the most part, I cringed at their relationship. The contract - and Ana not reading the NDA before signing it after only knowing Christian for about 2-3 weeks - really rubbed me the wrong way. Now, I should preface saying I don’t know anything about bdsm, so maybe the contract wasn’t that extreme. But the whole “yield completely unto me whenever I want” just made me feel gross.

I should also say that I didn’t get the “condones rape” vibe from this story. That’s one thing I’ll give Mr. Grey is that he was very adamant about consent and listened when Ana said no.

My biggest red flags regarding Grey were:

🚩His mood swings and how Ana constantly felt the need to be careful around him. That’s not any kind of relationship, and it’s fairly abusive and manipulative.

🚩Defending his childhood abuser/rapist and getting mad at Ana for hating her. I get Stockholm Syndrome is a real thing, but it just really didn’t sit right with me.

🚩The need and desire to beat the shit out of women. Y’know, nothing super serious. (I’m obviously being sarcastic, don’t at me.)

Other than that...the story was just really bland. It was all sex and then Ana’s mediocre life as a graduate in between. Maybe I’m too used to reading fantasy where shit actually happens, but it was boring to me - minus the few times I legitimately laughed from an exchange or from how awkward it got. And if I had a dollar for every time “bemused,” “oh my,” or any other awkward phrase was used - I’d be as rich as Christian Grey.

This definitely isn’t a book I would recommend to anyone because I liked it. If I recommended it at all, I’d say to read it just to say you have - if you want that as a bragging right.

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The Cruel Prince

Author: Holly Black

Notes: Fantasy, Fae/Faerie, Graphic Violence, LGBT+

Rating: ★★★★★ (4.5)

“Of course I want to be like them. They’re beautiful as blades forged in some divine fire. They will live forever. And Cardan is even more beautiful than the rest. I hate him more than all the others. I hate him so much that sometimes when I look at him, I can hardly breathe.”

*SPOILERS*

Let it be known that the last line of page 268 is when I FIGURED IT OUT.

Okay, maybe it’s not that big of a deal, but I’m not one for easily piecing evidence together. So after reading up to that point - and babbling like this to my husband about my theory -

I soon realized that I could have had my suspicions confirmed in the time it took me to conspire. There was a parallelization to Greek prophecies and Oedipus Rex - BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT. I was proud of myself for piecing together Oak’s heritage, and no one can take that from me. 😂

Anyway, now back to reviewing the book itself.

I. LOVED. This. Book.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sucker for good fantasy, action, and romance - even more-so when they’re combined. And while I would definitely NOT call this a romance book, there was enough angst and sexual tension to cut with a damn knife. So I was HERE for it.

The details that Holly Black encompasses in so many diverse characters - along with their emotions and own agendas - was breathtaking. Heartbreak, betrayal, anger (god, so much anger...) - it was unlike anything I’ve read before.

Jude is a highly disagreeable protagonist, but that’s what made her character so enjoyable. She has shitty ways of coping with her traumatic past, and it has consumed her along with the desire to fit into the land of Faerie. In her journey, she’s become just as conniving as the Fae - using her anger as bravado and courage. I hated it so much that I loved it for the mere fact that I have never read from the perspective of such an angry person.

Does part of me wish Jude will become Fae? Yes. But the other part of me hopes she doesn’t. I want to see how Black would handle Jude’s being mortal for the length of this series.

And this world of Faerie is different from that of Sarah J. Maas’s - and I’m in no way comparing the two - where the Fae are tremendously beautiful, but have animalistic characteristics that not many authors have elaborated upon. I don’t really know how to describe it, but the best way I can put it is that it was refreshing to read of these immortal, lovely creatures that go outside the bound of what humans would consider beautiful.

Plus, I am weak for traditional fairy lore and curses and bargains. So reading of charms and bargains, and seeing them leak into the real world was amazing and something I truly didn’t expect. I went in expecting an entirely different world where the modern day was never a thing. But seeing the cunning Fae entering the mortal world was very intriguing, even if it wasn’t in good faith.

I’m rambling. Just pick up this book! If you like slight mysteries, intrigue, betrayal, ANGST...

READ IT!

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Coraline

Author: Neil Gaiman

Notes: Fantasy, Horror, Children

Rating: ★★★★

“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares.”

I remember seeing the Tim Burton rendition when I was a little girl. It traumatized me, to say the least. 😂 I have yet to watch it again even years later. And I will say that the movie did the book justice, if memory serves.

As Gaiman said, this tale reads as an adventure to kids (maybe I was an exception), but gives adults nightmares. As I read this - as a young adult - I found this story very off-putting and creepy. How could anyone, regardless of age, see this as a tale of discovery and adventure? With horrific images such as a blob of human flesh trying to eat Coraline to misshapen “bat-dogs” to the other mother herself and her detached hand.

Perhaps children focus on Coraline being brave and rescuing her parents - overcoming all terrors and obstacles to achieve her goal; while adults focus on the imagery and how awful and grotesque Gaiman describes most characters and events. Even the button eyes alone were creepy to imagine.

I think I was an exception for the tale when I was little, not just because Tim Burton is known for his creepy style anyway, but because I had an “other mother” when I was young. My father remarried and my stepmom tried all of my youth to convince me that she loved me and that’s all she ever wanted to do. But as I got older, I realized how manipulative and abusive she was - even going so far as to try to get me to hate my birth mother. It resonates personally with me, I realized as I was reading the book - something younger me wouldn’t have realized.

The only thing that truly bothered me about the book was: is it really over? Coraline dropped the other mother’s hand in the well, but will it truly never be able to escape? I still have a sense of unease even after such a happy and weightlifting conclusion. I guess it’s up to personal interpretation because we will likely never know.

I definitely recommend reading this book just for the imagery alone. I’ll be sharing it with my future children, too, just as a little experiment to see if what Gaiman says is true.

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𝚂𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚑𝚊𝚕, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 (𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝟷𝟾𝟹𝟶)

[ladevo-tea]

I’m a simple being. I see a book, I want to read it.

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We Are Okay

Author: Nina LaCour

Notes: Depression, Anxiety, Loss of a Love One, LGBT+, Latinos

Rating: ★★★★★ (5)

“When I think of all of us then, I see how we were in danger. Not because of the drinking or the sex or the hour of the night. But because we were so innocent and we didn’t even know it.”

Wow. Just...wow. I have no words to describe exactly how refreshing reading this book was.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a fantasy person. Sure, I’ve read some realistic fiction here and there - and have enjoyed them immensely - but I much prefer magic and sword fights.

This book was one of the rare exceptions. It was one of the few books that I didn’t want to end. I wanted to keep reading about Marin and Mabel and their small and broken - but healing - family.

Maybe it’s because I can relate so much. I can relate to betrayal and heartbreak and being ripped from everything you’ve ever known. I can relate to losing someone you loved. I can relate to finally having the “I’m okay” moment.

Healing is slow. It’s painful - for anyone involved. There are times you want to give up, but if there are good hearts around you then they won’t let you. No, you won’t ever be the same as you were, but that’s life. It doesn’t mean you aren’t who you were before tragedy - it’s simply built onto your character.

Marin’s story is tragic - one that hit me like a ton of bricks when truth came to light. But I didn’t cry. Rather, I felt as someone would looking into this situation. I felt sympathy and empathy - something not everyone who reads this book can feel. For this is a book that will impact each person individually. It is one that will only relate to you - or won’t - on a personal level.

It was absolutely breathtaking reading LaCour’s narrative through Marin, and one I would read again just to feel the things I did with each passing page. I’ve come to love Marin and these people in the story. I relate to Marin and her story of loss; I relate to Mabel having come from a Hispanic family; I relate to the overall healing process and depression. The overwhelming feeing of loneliness, as Marin describes it.

This is such a gorgeous book. Please pick it up, if you yourself are healing or in the healing process. You may find answers you’re looking for.

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Book Review Rubric

I will be reviewing each book I read based on this rubric:

✔️ Intrigue - did I want to keep reading?

✔️ Story - was it immersive?

✔️ Diction - were descriptions well executed?

✔️ Characters - were they well developed and not static?

✔️ Voice - could I feel or relate to the emotions of any given moment?

In each review, I’ll include the title of the book, the author, and my rating of 5 stars. I will not give each category a rating, I just use the rubric as a basis to sum up my thoughts. At the end of the review, I’ll recommend if you should read the book or not.

There may be instances where I use spoilers in my reviews, so I will always put my reviews under cuts and give a warning in advance.

I will be posting my reviews under the tag ‘mor reviews’ as well as including the title and author in the tags.

I realize for some books I rate, people’s opinions will be different. I don’t mean for these reviews to attack anyone’s opinions, I’m just stating mine. I’m always open for discussion, but keep it civil. Any and all hate mail for one of my reviews will be deleted.

Thank you! I hope you all enjoy the book reviews to come. ❤️

[ladevo-tea]

20 Fantasy Books To Look Forward To In 2020

Scavenge the Stars (January 7) - Tara Sim

Dark and Deepest Red (January 14) - Anna-Marie McLemore

Spellhacker (January 21) - M.K. England

Seven Deadly Shadows (January 28) - Courtney Alameda, Valynne E. Maetani

Ink in the Blood (February 11) - Kim Smejkal

Crescent City: House of Earth and Blood (March 3) - Sarah J. Maas

The Last Hours: Chain of Gold (March 3) - Cassandra Clare

Havenfall (March 3) - Sara Holland

The Kingdom of Back (March 3) - Marie Lu

The Midnight Lie (March 3) - Marie Rutkoski

Bone Crier’s Moon (March 10) - Kathryn Purdie

Girl, Serpent, Thorn (May 12) - Melissa Bashardoust

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (May 19) - Suzanne Collins

The Gilded Ones (May 26) - Namina Forna

Cemetery Boys (June 9) - Aiden Thomas

Forest of Souls (June 23) - Lori M. Lee

Sisters of Sword and Song (June 23) - Rebecca Ross

Cinderella Is Dead (July 7) - Kalynn Bayron

Star Daughter (August 11) - Shveta Thakrar

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue - V.E. Schwab

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Vampire Books

Singular

“Carmilla” by Joseph Sheridan le Fanu

“Vampire City” by Paul Feval

“Hawkes Harbor” by S.E. Hinton

“Brown Girl in the Ring” by Nalo Hopkinson

“Salem’s Lot” by Stephen King

“The Historian” by Elizabeth Kostova

“Fevre Dream” by George R.R. Martin

“I am Legend” by Richard Matheson

“The Vampyre” by John William Polidori

“Varney the Vampire” by James Malcolm Rhymer

“Dracula” by Bram Stoker

“Dracula’s Guest” by Bram Stoker

“The House of the Vampire” by George Sylvester Viereck

“Vampire Breath” by R.L.Stine

“Bunnicula” by James Howe

Series

“Marked” by P.C. Cast

“The Twilight Saga” by Stephanie Meyer

“The Vampire Chronicles” by Anne Rice

“Cirque du Freak” by Darren Shan

“The Strain” by Guillermo del Toro

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Godzilla-reads Halloween Picks

Halloween is getting closer and closer, so I thought I would share a list of some of my favorite books to read around this season. 

“Bunnicula” by James and Deborah Howe

“The Witches of Worm” by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

“Coraline” by Neil Gaiman

“The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman

“Something Wicked This Way Comes” by Ray Bradbury

“The Werewolf Cycle” by Stephen King

“Dracula” by Bram Stoker

“The Bloody Chamber” by Angela Carter

“Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley

“Creepers” by Joanne Dahme

“Cry of the Cat” by R.L. Stine

“The Tell-Tale Heart” by Edgar Allan Poe

“Felidae” by Akif Pirincci

“The Shining” by Stephen King

“The Amityville Horror” by Jay Anson