laneytrulovesbooks - Tumblr blog

laneytrulovesbooks · 2 years ago

Text

I Fell in Love with Hope

Lancali

“My stars are falling.

And I can’t save them.”

“Remember me,” he says. “Remember that just because the stars fell doesn’t mean they weren’t worth wishing on.”

“Wait–Please–” My tears find fruition because no matter how hard I try, I can’t follow him.”

“My light, my love, my reason.”

“When the dark swallows the last of him, reality comes to reap, and pain lays heavy in its hand like a scythe.”

“Time, Disease, and Death are the greatest thieves in the world.”

“She learns that death isn’t playful.

Death is sudden.

It has no taste for irony or reason.

It doesn’t wait for another tick of the metronome.

It doesn’t wait for goodbyes.

Death is a taker, plain, direct, no tricks up its sleeve. And it will give you nothing in return but a last endless kiss for those you leave behind.”

“You like the numbness?” she asks.

“It’s better than the pain.”

“She’s still a teenager. Teenagers aren’t as malleable as children. They have a sense of self, aspiration, dreams. Sometimes, parents feel threatened by that autonomy. They cling to the idea of their child, the idea of who they are. Anything off-script feels like disobedience. So when that child would rather read and write than follow in his father’s footsteps, violence ensues. When that child is trapped in her own mind, her mother and father negate the pain as nothing but a symptom of age.”

“You’ll be grateful you did–that is a regretful argument made by those who look in the mirrors and see rot. This is what comes of it. People who don’t believe one could be so numb that even their disease doesn’t hurt enough.”

“Depression is exactly like fear,” I say. “It’s all shadow and no body, but it’s real.”

“He wrote once that ‘clothes are a strange and clever hiding place. Bruises, scars, odd complexions, insecurities–we hide them all if we choose to, the essential parts of us kept only for the gazes of mirrors and lovers.’”

“You know Sam, loneliness spares me none of its kindness, so… Thank you for giving me yours.”

“We used to think the roof was a radical rebellion. This is where there aren’t any mirrors. It’s chilly, and the ground is coarse. The sky is always gray, and the only color is us. This is our swimming pool, the deepest part where those who dwell above the surface cannot see.”

“I feel like banishing anyone and everyone who ever made you believe you deserve to be alone. Because that kind of pain, it– it can ruin people, it can make them lose faith in everything,”

“I am not afraid of her. I am afraid of loving her.

Because I wouldn’t just have to admit she was real.

I would have to admit that I’m going to lose her too.”

“You don’t realize how powerful loneliness can be till even hurting yourself isn’t painful enough to sate it.”

“She brings things to life, plants, broken things, and sick people who need a contagious smile to catch their lips. She gives people life only to deny it for herself.”

“The pain is sudden. It’s forceful, a propulsion. I want to open myself up and let it escape like steam.”

“The sadness was sudden. It was forceful, a propulsion. I wanted to open myself up and let it escape like steam.”

“I’m going to lose you, I think. I’m going to lose you, and even if I knew all along, it still hurts to face it. It hurts so bad. I feel eaten from the inside out.”

“When he died, he didn’t take a piece of me with him. He left a piece of himself behind. A hollowness. A reminder that I could never let myself love again without pain to follow.”

“Because all the corpses of my stars couldn’t compare to the one that faded into the dark.”

“I want to save you. I want you to be happy.”

“But I couldn’t save him.”

“The thoughts of self-hatred bite at your pride because you fell into a pit with a greedy animal. It convinced you to cut away at your skin till it became hilled with scars. It ate your joy, your pain, everything you had until all that was left was the shell of your body, but you survived. You crawled out of the pit and left the animal to starve while you quenched your hunger with books, risks, and a little wind.”

“I know you may not forgive me for shutting my eyes and saying I couldn’t see your pain, but I am sorry. I’m sorry for letting my past keep me from appreciating the present you gave me.”

“I want to show you, even in the darkness of a hall where hearts were once healed, that we can be more than victims of almost. And even if you can’t forgive me, I promise to protect you from the shadows, anyway.”

“Even if in the end, on the very last page, I will lose her too.”

“He wants control, and when it slips away, he uses violence to get it back.”

“Control doesn’t exist, sir. Only uncertainty does.”

“I wonder if he will run through the dark only to learn there is nothing on the other side.”

“I wonder, in his arms, how something as intangible as hope is lost. It cannot be misplaced. It cannot be thrown aside. That means, it must be forgotten.

Forgetting is an essential part of grief.”

“God is the greatest provider of hope among those who cannot find it in themselves.”

“I wonder if time and disease and death are his accomplices or if they are his enemies too.”

“Love doesn’t fade when people do”

“Am I a shadow, God? I ask once she is gone. Am I loneliness and fear foolish enough to believe they are light?”

“People need that sometimes. They need things to stay the same to make room for what has changed.”

“Everyone wonders what comes after death, but none can grasp the cruelty of being kept alive forever.

In the end, my curse is simple.

I will remember those I love longer than I had a chance to know them.”

“Sometimes hope just isn’t enough.

It isn’t meant to save people.”

“Human beings are selfish. They don’t accept this because they cannot fathom a world without their existence. As such, there must be an eternal life of some kind. Whether it is found in spirituality, in delusion, or in God, there must be an after. A Heaven.”

“If there’s something everyone can agree on, it is that there is no pain in death. Only an eternal sort of peace.”

“I realize, as my tears fall, that I always wondered if the suns in his eyes would suit the moons in mine till they shut forever and every night left to come, it rained.”

“The stars are falling,” she whispers.

“My love,” I cry. “They already fell.”

“Because if we chose to only love what we wouldn’t lose, then we would never love at all.”

“Love is not a choice”

“And even if it were, I would choose you every time.”

“The thing about hope is that it is a fearful reaction. We are hopeful because we are afraid. Because we think on some level we are owed. But this story was never about the hope that arises in catastrophic moments. That hope is passive, not a being, but a state of being.”

“There is another kind of hope. The kind that is eternal, a scenery you don’t quite notice until you glance a second time. It is not a wish, it is an appreciation, a grateful desire for life as it is.”

“The parting hurts. It feels like a part of me is severing as I bleed out onto the stone,”

“To my eternal sun,

My love for you did not begin.

It did not end.

What we share is not a chronological feat.

It is a promise of its own.

It is the basest form of trust.

It can be broken and rebuilt.

It can fade and reignite.

But it cannot be stolen.

Not even by Death.

We were an eclipse.

A moment the sun and moon met.”

“A flash of light wherein hope reached for despair and they embraced whether it be for a single moment or eternity.

Tonight, I will climb to the rooftop thinking of you. My ghosts roam beside me, a missing lung, a missing heart, and a missing mind returned by the night.

I will see you step out into the streets, yellow blending into the crowds, and I will reach for you with only one dream. If in your next life, you decide to find me again, with another name, in another body, I will give you a home. I will abide by my promise.

I will fall in love with you every time…”

“Their bodies were given to the ground and their memories to grief.”

“In one way or another, all first loves are lost.”

“Sometimes death is more merciful than life, and he chose its mercy over mine, ”

“Forever is an illusion for mortal things, but time felt sorry for me, it said. Time patched up my wounds, dried my tears, and did the best it could simply by passing.”

“Resilience is tough, skinned with taut language made of iron. He was forged by hate, dented, but never broken.”

“Kindness was always meant for a brittle, bleeding heart. Perhaps not very bright, nor very ambitious, kindness grew, never decorative, but always present.”

“The melodies he shared drew smiles greater than artists ever could.”

“Passion was a goddess.”

“Hope is the bittersweet companion of loneliness.”

“It lives in creatures of the forever, a caring home with more curiosity than sense. It omits little white lies and steals here and there. It gets lost. Lost in those who need it.”

“Though some shadows may ruin the world, there are people, people like them, who survive and crawl from the wreckage.”

“They are full of passion, of resilience, of kindness, and of immeasurable hope.”

“When he died, it blindsighted me.”

“At first, it felt somewhat unreal and then it graduated into a physical pain I couldn’t stand. I remember laying on the floor, wanting to scream every time I thought of his smile.”

“I retain my ability to laugh, my ability to empathize, and more importantly, I learned how to be kind.”

#bookworm #bookish #loss #mental health #emotional #books and reading #book quotes #quotes #life quote #love quote

0 notes