laqueus - Tumblr blog

[laqueus]

Everyone appreciate this hysterical picture my roommate took of my cat the other day

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A heavily wounded man crawling towards you begging you to kill him but then he hears an ice cream truck jingle and gets up and runs towards the truck yelling ‘ICE CREAM! YIPEE!’ but his leg is terribly broken so its just swinging everywhere while he runs amd blood is squirting everywhere and it gets oin the truck and all of the meenu on the side but he can still order his favorite treat and eats it happily licking it like a cartoon character while giggling But when hes done he collapses and goes back to trying to get you to put him out of his misery like nothing happened

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guy tries to toss a cigarette on the ground but the ground parries it and it flies back into his mouth and he solemnly continues to smoke it

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 ╭ ◜◝ ͡ ◝ ͡◜◝  ╮  (                      )  (        cock       )    (                  )      ╰     ͜      ╯                      O                    o                             °       〃∩　∧＿∧      ⊂⌒（ ´・ω・）       ｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/ 　           　   ＼/＿＿＿/ 

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CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES🧣

[laqueus]

A master of emotional manipulation

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what is even happening

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I was very careful to avoid getting sauce from the lasagne on my newest shirt

only to snort blood on it instead

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When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

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this couldn’t be said any better

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potoincorrectquotes. |

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reblog to pet prev

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People are always like "why do they let Data play poker with them, his brain is a computer, he has an unfair advantage," and the answer is simply because it's for fun!! He's their friend! Like can you imagine if they told Data he can't play, he'd be like "I understand, that's a logical decision, and as an android I am unable to feel left out," but then any time the poker game came up he'd be looking at Riker across the bridge like

[laqueus]

*Sees a thoroughly rusted Cybertruck abandoned by the side of the road*

Me: "Wow, how far in the future did we go?"

My time-traveller friend: "About two weeks."

[laqueus]

i'm so glad homestuck exists if only for the fact that it produced the funniest image in existence