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I adore that idea too, just him as a professor is so funny to me like. THIS MAN??? This man HERE??! With CHILDREN???

Just remembered that Will Graham was canonically a professor and-

What was that even LIKE???

Picture the scene: youre a bright-eyed prospective FBI agent who needs to take this class for a credit and you roll up to see a man who looks like he slept in a dumpster teaching your class.

Ok fine you can deal with that.

Next thing you learn is that he has the social skills of a ground-nesting chipmunk and the class has realized he tolerates you all only because you sit fifty feet away from him.

Fine. Cool. Sure.

Maybe the class starts trying to win him over. Maybe they leave him an apple as a joke and he goes on a fifteen minute rant about how many apples will kill you. The class realizes they can get him to talk about certain things:

Government Officials (Derogatory), Dogs, Knives, Dogs, Guns, Dogs, Kraft Mac and Cheese, Silly String (Derogatory)…

They get him a murder mystery book for his birthday and he spends the next class period talking about why it was wrong and who REALLY did it.

The class does some research, apparently he’s wired up in a weirder way than the class thought. That’s fine, you all like him in a “teacher who hates everyone kind of way”

Then he starts rambling about murders as if he WAS THERE AND DID IT, zones out, regularly gets interrupted by random people and then vanishes off the face of the earth only to reappear as a “murder husband” a few months later.

Good for him, you all knew only a bisexual could be that much of a flaming wreak.

The class is Professor Grahams biggest supporters, they cheer when he gets out of prison and keep up with the news as best they can.

Because goddamnit he’s their WEIRDO and good fucking batshit crazy teachers are SO hard to find

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You underestimate my nihilism and my lesbian wardrobe. I’ll fight god with my flannel shirt rolled up to my elbows AND my daddy issues just you wait and fucking see

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Just remembered that Will Graham was canonically a professor and-

What was that even LIKE???

Picture the scene: youre a bright-eyed prospective FBI agent who needs to take this class for a credit and you roll up to see a man who looks like he slept in a dumpster teaching your class.

Ok fine you can deal with that.

Next thing you learn is that he has the social skills of a ground-nesting chipmunk and the class has realized he tolerates you all only because you sit fifty feet away from him.

Fine. Cool. Sure.

Maybe the class starts trying to win him over. Maybe they leave him an apple as a joke and he goes on a fifteen minute rant about how many apples will kill you. The class realizes they can get him to talk about certain things:

Government Officials (Derogatory), Dogs, Knives, Dogs, Guns, Dogs, Kraft Mac and Cheese, Silly String (Derogatory)…

They get him a murder mystery book for his birthday and he spends the next class period talking about why it was wrong and who REALLY did it.

The class does some research, apparently he’s wired up in a weirder way than the class thought. That’s fine, you all like him in a “teacher who hates everyone kind of way”

Then he starts rambling about murders as if he WAS THERE AND DID IT, zones out, regularly gets interrupted by random people and then vanishes off the face of the earth only to reappear as a “murder husband” a few months later.

Good for him, you all knew only a bisexual could be that much of a flaming wreak.

The class is Professor Grahams biggest supporters, they cheer when he gets out of prison and keep up with the news as best they can.

Because goddamnit he’s their WEIRDO and good fucking batshit crazy teachers are SO hard to find

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True friendship is seamlessly going along with lies your bestie tells their siblings to validate the story. Yes the tv is haunted. Go to bed.

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Glenn’s real character arc was just him going from disaster bi to distinguished bi and I won’t be taking criticism on this.

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EXACTLY. And literally nobody else ever knows what he’s quoting??? And at one point Maggie catches herself also doing it and then demands Glenn explain wtf he’s talking about and he won’t give her a straight answer. Daryl does it while their on a run and Glenn starts laughing so hard he trips over a root and almost gets the two of them killed.

Random TWD headcannons because I’m bored and vaguely sad:

Glenn, on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS has managed to trap someone in a “ligma” joke but has never actually had the guts to follow through with it. Like, he has managed to get Daryl to say, “what’s ligma?” SO MANY TIMES. But he always backs tf out of the joke so Daryl doesn’t kill him.

Maggie hates peppermint. She just does. Glenn brings her a candy cane at one point and she chucks it at his head.

Glenn can recite the entire “countries of the world” song. He abuses this knowledge by teaching Carl the whole thing as well so that whenever someone is having a dramatic monologuing moment they just bust out singing.

Daryl is scared of bees. This comes to light at one point when there walking through the forest and one dive-bombs him. He yelled “FUCKER” and immediately began jumping up and down and slapping his arms and neck.

Michone finds a kazoo in a convenience store at some point and gives it to Carl. He abuses this almost immediately.

Glenn will recite vines under his breath when he’s running. Especially if he’s stressed.

One time Maggie, Glenn and Carl all rode in the same car that Daryl dubbed “the kids car” and Carl found some CD’s in the glove compartment. This led to them being pulled over by Rick exactly 8 minutes later because, and I quote “this is just not the time for Call Me Maybe.” Glenn and Carl thought their singing had been fantastic, thank you.

Daryl was a leash kid.

Nobody to date has ever beat Carol at Scrabble.

Monopoly is banned forever for any given refuge. (The rest of the group thinks Rick is just bitter)

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Random TWD headcannons because I’m bored and vaguely sad:

Glenn, on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS has managed to trap someone in a “ligma” joke but has never actually had the guts to follow through with it. Like, he has managed to get Daryl to say, “what’s ligma?” SO MANY TIMES. But he always backs tf out of the joke so Daryl doesn’t kill him.

Maggie hates peppermint. She just does. Glenn brings her a candy cane at one point and she chucks it at his head.

Glenn can recite the entire “countries of the world” song. He abuses this knowledge by teaching Carl the whole thing as well so that whenever someone is having a dramatic monologuing moment they just bust out singing.

Daryl is scared of bees. This comes to light at one point when there walking through the forest and one dive-bombs him. He yelled “FUCKER” and immediately began jumping up and down and slapping his arms and neck.

Michone finds a kazoo in a convenience store at some point and gives it to Carl. He abuses this almost immediately.

Glenn will recite vines under his breath when he’s running. Especially if he’s stressed.

One time Maggie, Glenn and Carl all rode in the same car that Daryl dubbed “the kids car” and Carl found some CD’s in the glove compartment. This led to them being pulled over by Rick exactly 8 minutes later because, and I quote “this is just not the time for Call Me Maybe.” Glenn and Carl thought their singing had been fantastic, thank you.

Daryl was a leash kid.

Nobody to date has ever beat Carol at Scrabble.

Monopoly is banned forever for any given refuge. (The rest of the group thinks Rick is just bitter)

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So, listen. If I were to, say, write a silly little TWD au fic where Glenn is around Carl’s age but pretty much everything else is the same. Except he gets pretty much adopted by the whole Grimes family and is best friends with Carl and see’s Rick as an adoptive dad. And this hypothetical fic was set around season 1 and there was lots of hurt/comfort and found family dynamics…

Would anyone here be interested in that perhaps?

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Peter, on his fourth cup of coffee: it’s scientifically proven that coffee actually makes you smarter!

Scott, unplugging the coffee machine: Or in your case, dumb FASTER.

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HOW MUCH MORE CHAOTIC WOULD STRANGER THINGS HAVE BEEN IF IT WAS MIKE WHO GOT TAKEN TO THE UPSIDE DOWN IN SEASON ONE.

Will, Dustin and Lucas having an absolute shitfit about losing Mike:

Mike, moonwalking through the upside down humming the ghost busters theme song: This shit is fucking WACK dude.

HIS COMMUNICATION WEAPON OF CHOICE WOULD BE ONE OF THOSE FUCKING GLO-WORM TOYS.

Will, having a full on breakdown next to his radio depression listening to Should-I-Stay-Or- Should-I-Go:

Mike, fearfully vibing on the other end of the radio: wHo YoU gOnNa CaLl????

HE WOULD SURVIVE AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE DID IT.

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The students at the academy love all of the teachers, don’t get me wrong. They love Charles and his long narrations of old books he reads them, asking them little questions in between chapters that he loves the answers to almost more than he loves the books themselves.

They love Logan and his gruff, annoyed retellings of historical events that he was present for, often pausing in his lessons to rant to the class about the vast inaccuracies in their textbooks (they end up throwing them out mid-year anyway)

The love Hanks science class as well. He ALWAYS lets them do the experiments themselves, offering only minor advice and instruction. (His field trips are their favorite, having a private jet at their disposal leaves a lot of room for scientific escapades)

Raven, well…it’s not like there’s anything WRONG with her class. I mean she’s…well, HER, y’know? I mean she is a hero with a capital H. Or at least everyone in her training class always thinks so. (That optimism usually dies around the ninth or tenth lap around the entire campus)

But if you were to ask any student at Xaviers’s School who their favorite teacher was, I mean their VERY favorite? You would only get one consistent answer really.

Peter.

Peter, (or “Mr. Peter” as some of the kids insist on calling him,) is the recreational studies teacher. Which is essentially code for “We-Needed-A-Place-To-Put-These-Kids-For-An-Hour-Every-Day” Peter LOVES it.

He spends the entire hour playing catch or frisbee or hide and seek (he lets them win at that one, even though he knows exactly where they all are he likes to see them smile triumphantly at him after he calls that he gives up) Eventually he even starts organizing Arts-and-Crafts for some of the younger kids who aren’t up to Mutant tag or don’t have a corresponding mutation. It’s a hit. Pretty soon his classroom is decorated with messy paper chains, scribbley drawings of Charles or Ororo, (she’s a kid-favorite) Origami horses and crumpled paper-mache cats line his desk and the shelves Erik hung in all the rooms.

Peter loves it.

He always smiles and compliments the messy crayon depictions of the X-Men, all stick limbs and big scribbled heads with costumes stuck messily on the front. Once a little girl handed him a piece of paper with a large blue scribble on the front, when he asked what it was she had whispered that it was “the blue boy with the tail” like it was some conspiracy among the staff. Peter had had to struggle not to laugh at her sincerity. Kurt of course had loved it, immediately hanging the thing on the wall of his room.

He also helps them with costumes. Admittedly, they arguably don’t NEED costumes. None of them are ever going to actually be sent on a mission, much less enough times to qualify for a proper costume…

But how can he say no?

As a result, at 5:30 PM every day Peter meets with 10-15 bright-eyed teenagers in his arts and crafts room, and teaches them how to sew. Or spray paint. Or glue random odds and ends to capes made out of curtains and t-shirts. And every month he saunters out in his handmade silver-spray paint jacket followed by 15 giggling mutant kids adorned in varying degrees of feathers and colorful cloth.

This is by FAR the best job Peter has ever had the privilege to have. (And he wouldn’t trade his little group of chaos-mongers for the world)

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Peter Maximoff headcannons because im bored and I just love my boy so much:

There are pillows+blankets thrown seemingly randomly around the manor at all times in case (and it’s very often true) Peter forgets to eat for more than three hours, which, because he has a SUPER heightened metabolism will cause his body to just shut down if he doesn’t get the correct calorie intake with very little room for error. Hence after the third or fourth time Charles got a student sprinting into his office in a panic explaining how “Mr. Peter just collapsed sir! We don’t know what’s wrong!” He consulted with the staff and decided to put “nap spots” all around the house in case Peter had an accident and needed to sleep somewhere comfortable until Hank had measured whatever was wrong.

Conversely this has led to the X-Men taking tallies for how many times they’ve had to catch Peter when he stood up too fast or skipped his required afternoon snack. Charles caught him twice, once when they first met in the museum (Peter hadn’t had time to grab breakfast before the big jailbreak) and again during a meeting, Peter had been unusually quiet during the whole of the meeting and kept looking around with glazed eyes. Charles had mentally asked him whether he was alright, Peter had merely nodded and looked back down. When the meeting ended Peter had stood up and his knees immediately buckled, Charles had only caught him because he’d been sitting right next to him at the time.

Kurt caught him once (he had nearly fallen off the roof during a party because he’d passed out too close to the edge, Kurt caught him before he’d passed the second floor)

Storm once barely saved him by wildly grabbing the edge of his harness as his eyes rolled back in his head at the top of the main staircase. (She NEVER let him live that one down, and every time he scaled the stairs afterward she’d ask him whether he was planning on fainting again or whether he could go up the stairs like a big kid now) He usually responds by snorting and/or flipping her off.

Jean caught him once in the garden, he had been walking across the grounds with a group of first-years talking about the school when he had trailed off and she very clearly heard him murmur “oh, shit.”

He had stumbled forward, already completely unconscious and she had caught him with her powers, careful to not let his head hit the stone slates on the path. There were no major injuries, just a headache and a gaggle of terrified first years. (Peter had insisted on seeing them when he woke up a few moments later, Hanks “nutrient IV” already hooked up to his arm. He didn’t want them to be scared, they should know he was fine.) Jean had just laughed and told him he could see them when Hank had finished running the medical diagnostics for todays “nap attack.”

Scott’s only incident was early on in their friendship, Peter had been walking down the hallway the opposite direction as Scott. They’d nodded, exchanged a quick high-five and continued walking, or at least Scott had. Peter had crumpled backwards into Scott’s back, knocking them both to the ground and knocking the wind out of Scott. “Musta been some high-five” Scott had joked later in the medbay, Hank was clucking indignantly at Peter for skipping his lunch. Peter had smiled apologetically at Scott, and something in his heart fully went out to this weird, weird kid.

Raven had caught him only once, and it had been more of a redirection than a proper interception. It had been during a training session, she was standing next to him in line when he’d simply vaulted sideways, she had automatically rolled to the side, leaving him to fall to the ground, his head rolling listlessly to the side as Kurt rushed forward. “She didn’t even TRY to catch you man” Scott had howled next to him later that day. Peter had crossed in arms in front of him in annoyance “Yeah, she shouldn’t HAVE too! Once I get this sorted out I swear to you-“ He had been interrupted by a packet of peanut butter crackers sailing through the air to strike him in the side of the head. Hank had merely gestured at them and smirked.

With Erik it was…different. He’d arguably caught Peter the most times out of anybody, always catching onto the metal in his harness or jacket with his powers before the kid fell. But the first time it had been quite different from any of the other incidents. For one thing, they had been in the middle of an actual mission when it had happened.

In Peter’s defense, he really HADN’T skipped any meals that day. None. He just wasn’t expecting to have as much strain put on him as he ended up getting, namely in the shape of 20-odd men armed with automatic rifles opening fire on his team, no, FAMILY.

He had acted instantly, all Erik saw was a blur darting all around then, little more than a haze as it circled them. He heard the gunshots, felt the metal cutting towards them, he also felt the bullets being knocked out of the air one by one, falling to the ground with a sound like pebbles on sheet metal.

When it was over there Peter had stood, his face grey and pale, wheezing slightly as he stood there. On his cheek was a single crimson-red line that leaked a thin stream of blood that ran down his face into his uniform. He had raised a shaking hand and touched the wound, barley reacting as he made contact. He raised his now-bloody hand and his gaze shifted unsteadily back to Erik, a hollow smile spreading across his face.

“…guess I missed one, huh?”

Then Peter Maximoff had crumpled to the ground lifelessly in front of Erik’s eyes.

Erik had caught him of course, he stopped his upper body from contacting the ground, grabbing onto the metal he had never been more thankful for in Peter’s harness. Peters head had tilted listlessly backwards at the motion, his face uncharacteristic devoid of any emotion.

It made Erik feel strangely ill, seeing Peter like this, still.

Peter was NEVER still, at least not completely. He was perpetually bouncing his leg or excitedly talking about whatever new thing he’d discovered in the world, fidgeting mindlessly with his hands as he spoke or running his fingers through his hair. Now he was doing none of those things and the only indication Erik had that he was even alive was the dull rasping of Peter’s breathing.

When Peter woke up in the medbay, surrounded by machines and IV’s and scared-looking mutants Erik wasn’t among them. He never spoke to Peter about that day again. Merely nodding to him stiffly in the halls when he saw him. Never exchanging more than a few words. Nonetheless, sometimes when Peter was blinking blearily awake, the familiar pinch of an IV needle embedded in his left arm, he’d feel a weak tugging at the necklace he always wore around his neck. And though he never asked or told anyone about it, Peter always suspected he knew who was checking in on him in their own strange way.

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As much as I totally get and love the whole “what if Will gets Vechna’d” theories flying around right now let me interject a new idea:

MIKE gets Vechna’d.

(Because yes my guy is overhated and DEFINITELY has enough trauma to qualify argue with the wall)

I imagine the vision would probably be his friends and family leaving him (because I firmly believe Mike has separation anxiety ok) and he apologizes to Not-Will for everything and maybe admit he doesn’t know if he even really loves El anymore and Not-Will just emotionlessly looks at him and says

“I wish you had never worked up the nerve to speak to me that day on the swings”

And of course in the real world assuming Mike is now back in Hawkins with the California gang are FREAKING OUT along with the rest of the Hawkins kids. Nancy would probably be panicking and trying to get him to wake up because that’s her little brother. She CAN’T lose her little brother, and of course Dustin Lucas and Max would be desperately trying to figure out what Mike’s favorite song is and they wouldn’t know because idk they just hadn’t listened to music together in a while.

But they would be running out of time and Eddie would be freaking out about losing another one of his adopted Hellfire kids, and realizing they’re running out of time Will would panic and grab onto Mike hoping to stop him from floating and refuse to let go even though Jonathan would be trying to pull him away and he would start crying hysterically because he never got to tell Mike anything about how he felt and now he was going to die.

And then Mike would start floating and Will wouldn’t let go and he would get pulled up into the air with him and in a last ditch effort Will would start quietly singing what he thought was Mikes favorite song because he would DEFINITELY know what Mikes favorite song was.

Mike would be about to be killed by Vechna when he would hear Will’s voice, and a window would open up because he was singing his favorite song, and Mike would remember they’d listened to it once before he left. Will had called it weird and rattling, nothing like his music. They’d laughed about it and it had felt nice, nicer than spending time with El ever felt.

The memories of him and Will on the swings, on Halloween, playing DnD, the first campaign Will had ever been Dungeon Master for (he’d knocked over a can of soda on the board, Mike had suggested that he play it off as a “Cola-Flood” caused by a booby trap. Dustin had laughed so hard he’d shot more soda out of his nose.

Those memories would flash through his head and he’d see his body floating through the portal, Nancy sobbing hysterically and reaching in vain for his legs, Lucas and Dustin silently shouting to him and each other. Arms wrapped firmly around his shoulder and head pressed against the side of his own was Will. Will’s voice the only thing he could hear, voice strained and shaking with sobs singing his, Mike’s, favorite song.

And then Mike would run, he would run faster then he’d ever run in his entire life. Towards Will, towards Nancy, towards Dustin and Lucas and Max, who he thought might finally be warming up to him. He wouldn’t make them cry, he couldn’t.

And then Mike Wheeler would wake up.

Him and Will would plummet out of the air and crash to the ground, the impact knocking the air out of both of their lungs. Will’s arms would still be wrapped around his neck and he’d be laughing and crying and hugging him and Nancy would run to him frantically hug him and tell him if he EVER did that again she’d ground him for the rest of his life. Lucas and Dustin and Max and Steve would crash into them and they’d all lay there for a moment laughing and crying equally and throughout all of it Will would STILL be holding on to Mike.

And maybe they’d kiss, or Will would finally tell him how he felt.

And somehow, I don’t think Mike would mind if that were the case.

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Ok I think it needs to be talked about more that in the 1990 IT movie Richie mf Tozier could have pulled ANYONE from the Losers Club within three minutes.

They were down BAD.

The scene where bill is talking and Richie hooks his arm around his shoulders and bill just short-circuits??? SEEMS PRETTY GAY TO the ME.

And when he drapes himself around Stan’s shoulders and just starts monologuing while Stan stares at him adoringly???

Bev kissing him on the cheek and them mutually laughing about it right afterwards???

Richie Tozier could have pulled every mf one of them with no effort at all and I think that’s beautiful.

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I’m sorry but I’ve just rewatched the Narnia movies and I want to appreciate how fucking funny Edmund is because throughout all of those movies he is just a VIBE. Like, this mf shows up to a strange and magical world in his CLOSET and is just like:

“Man this is NOT what I thought I was gonna be doing today but alright.”

HE DOESNT EVEN SEEM UPSET. HE’S JUST MILDLY CONFUSED.

He is the absolute epitome of just absolutely chaotic chill. He will tear down your self-esteem in a SECOND but then turn around and say the most thoughtful shit a minute later in the first movie. And then later in the series he’s EVEN MORE SO. He would absolutely do some insane self-sacrificing shit and then be just like “Oh I totally thought I was gonna die just then. Kinda cool I didn’t though.”

Edmund: *Gets stabbed*

Peter, panicking: ohmygodohmygodohmygod EDMUND.

Edmund, mildly annoyed but perfectly calm: This shirt was my favorite. Like literally my favorite shirt. You know how many times I wear this shirt per year??? Like 5. Tops. You know WHY I wear- Peter stop crying, do you know WHY I wear this shirt so little??? Because didn’t want anything to happen to it and NOW look what’s happened. It got blood all over the front and it’ll never come out and- Hi Lucy, you crying too? You’d think someone was dying or something, good lord.- But the blood will NEVER come out! And I’m like really tired so I’m going to take a quick nap and I will be back in like three seconds ok thank you