layuhsblog

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my humor might be broken cause I find this trend actually funny

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excuse me the fuck what fucking planet is in retrograde or whatever bullshit to have such a BAD FUCKING EFFECT ON MY FRIENDSHIPS AND OUTDOOR PLANS I WISH TO TOU H GRASS WHY IS NO PLAN OF MINE FALLING THROUGH

i am going to lose my mind if i do not step out of this house GOODNESS.

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'Wind back the clock, take me with you.' -geto suguru- (a)

If I could turn back time, I cannot say I could've saved him. Our world, our fate, the people in power, we let him down. We all let him down. I let him down.

He told me he needed space, was it me? was it him? was there no turning back? I understood.

You went through something traumatic, you'll come back to me— I thought

How fucking wrong was I..

If I could turn back the clock and you would've asked me to come, talked to me, I would've understood. Followed you in a heartbeat, no questions asked. You didn't. You could've, but you didn't.

When we carved our names together in the Sakura tree, I thought it was a promise, a sacred oath, a pact that whenever we're lost, the string that intertwines us together would pull us back and bind us back together at the roots. Our love, our promise— The rings we wore, a message, to everyone, to the world, that we're one spiritually and one day will be, legally.

When I made that promise, I told you– through thick and thin, we'll be partners in crime. It was our modern version of a cheesy wedding vow, like two young people in love. It was cringe but it was something we shared. It was divine.

—

I heard the news, I remember it just like yesterday.

I was knitting you a beanie, thought it'll compliment your hair. You were always worried about your ears being cold... when I was called to the principal's office

"The star plasma vessel is dead, theyve failed the mission."

I didn't care about the fucking mission.

God, I wish I was with you, I wish I held you tighter, Cried together harder, spend so much time together you'd never ever even think of doing what you did. I wish I didn't go on that mission, wish I was there when Yuki talked to you, wish you'd have left a note, said anything. God, I wish.

Next thing I know, you're gone? Just like that, three years all wasted away, washing down the drain mixing away with my tears and the water droplets from the beaten up dorm shower we used to spend our mornings in.

We searched everywhere. Where the fuck are you Suguru?

but I knew, you wouldnt come back, I just did. You always told me we were soulmates, that you couldn't hide anything from me. You said you wore your heart up on your sleeve, so then why couldn't I see this coming? Yet I knew, I just knew, Suguru never looks back.

So, I didn't as well, that night, packed all my bags, wrote a goodbye letter to everyone and left.

My sister, who did the same years ago— tired of the toxicity, of the fact that every child was only seen as a mere resource, that those comforting walls of our so-called home were actually blood-soaked and cramping down to eat us alive, a never ending ring, where all you had to do was compete to survive- years and years children, cousins, elders pitted against eachother for what? power? hunger ? blood? A place where childhood was a state where hope never lingered and the dark crimson liquid never washed away. I was here, away. Away from everything I once accepted was mine cus it meant being by your side. Maybe because of this, how I know families work in the Jujutsu world, I couldn't hate Toji for the path he chose, I couldn't blame you for the path you chose. You always told me my empathy eats up at my soul and drains away my happiness from within, I'm starting to wonder if you were right.

She happily accepted me in the village. Stroked my hair, held me while I cried.

"It'll get better, I promise"

but that same evening, when I left with her to help her with duties I didnt think I'd encounter you again, in such strange ways. Maybe we are soulmates, afterall.

—

Rubble, carcasses, corpses... blood...

are all we see, miles and miles away.

We hear faint cries before those die as well, we hear sounds of struggle before a deafening, piercing, hollow, cold silence follows. Women, Children, Husbands, Fathers, Mothers, reduced to cold, dead bodies. Forced to be trapped between layers and layers ruthlessness.

But I know you, I know your energy, I know you because I've been with you, breathed you, worshipped you, loved you, loathed you, held you in my arms while you cried, protected you from those demons you call nightmares, loved you, loved you so much it hurt, loved you till my heart ached, loved you, loved you, and loved you.

But now, as my throat tightened and my vision became blurry, all I could think of was-

God, I loved you, and now I must be the one to end this monstrosity, end it at my hands.

I must be the one to kill you.

—

You had your whole life planned before you, so did I. That's why we were so perfect together, soulmates even. Oh how much time changes everything, in the blink of an eye.

I couldn't have held you back, god, I wish I could. I wish I could tell you. You say you would, but I know you wouldn't understand. How could you, you're such an angel, who forgives, who offers her soul to the world where they strip it and tear it apart but you give, you give and you give till you're numb, with a smile.

Who can blame you? I was like that as well, but no, not anymore. Not when the world is the reason why people like us, people like you, people like her, are so miserable, why we die. We give and we give and we give and then we die and no one remembers. No one gives a shit.

I cannot take this anymore love, I can't.

Even if you didn't understand, all I had to do was say the words, and you'd follow, cus thats who you are. Perfect and in love.

But there was no need for you to shed more blood, no need for it to stain your delicate fingers any more than they already had. So forgive me my love, for I am such a monster, I couldn't let our string of fate, the blood from my hands, stain the thread and bleed into yours.

I thought cutting the string would stop our fates from intertwining, yet what have I done?

Yes, the link is severed. But why do I see our promise spilled on the floor, shining away, distinctively between all the rubble? That stupid band, a cheap ring with a fake diamond shines bright because it was you who wore it. And I, like always have messed up again.

Rest in peace my love, let me borrow this band as a memento for what we used to be, I never stopped loving you and I never will. Let this be a reminder to myself that I will achieve my goal and save our world, so we never have to spill our blood for those nobodys again, so we may reunite in the afterlife and tie back our strings and be born to love eachother again, my soulmate.

///

AN: LEAVE ME AND MY EM DASHES ALONE PLEASE. u can run it through an ai checker— i know i ate cus i wrote this after a mental breakdown mwah

anyway LOVE YALL I AM SOOOO BACK ON THIS APP

[layuhsblog]

bruh i saw my bf after ages and i was applying makeup in the bathroom mirror and he hugged me from behind while all I could think abt were unholy thoughts HELP MEEE

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I hate the lack of male/masc/gender neutral centered stuff in fandom spaces…like fic writers it is not that hard to change the word girlfriend to partner or boyfriend in ur headcanon posts that took you less than ten minutes to write like PLEASE YALL GUYS EXIST IN FANDOM SPACES TOO AND WE ALSO WANT FANFICS AND HEADCANONS OF OUR FAVES😭😭

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So, uh… if you’re looking back on your writing and you’re cringing at how bad it is…

You know that’s a good thing, right? That you’ve grown?

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wtf is a threesome? write me love letters and die in war

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they can never make me hate u papa fushiguro

You know what I’ll argue that Toji is more mischaracterized than Gojo! Toji isn’t a character I’m obsessed with but Ik enough to say this…he canonically loved his wife! He also loved Megumi! I feel like some people expected him to out right say something that implied that he loved his son, but I clocked his ass he ain’t fooling me LMAO!

And I feel like when the time comes and I write about him, it will kind of be like Gojo….his love might take a while. He’s a broken man with a broken heart. That might sound a bit dramatic but he obviously gave up on life after his wife died (who took her last name AND gave it to his son btw).

Here’s a good example…mini Star Wars rant btw…Padame died when giving birth to her children. She clearly loved them, but she gave birth RIGHT after Anakin went into the dark. That’s heartbreaking. She had nothing to live for. People might argue she could for her kids but damn…give her some slack.

Toji had no purpose. He died heartbroken. The last things to come out of his mouth was about Megumi. His last thoughts were of his wife HOLDING Megumi. He’s not perfect by ANY means. I just had to get this off my chest😔

[layuhsblog]

crazy how i like older men posts on this app but teased my bf for being a "pedophile" for months when he turned 18 while i was still 17 ( hes older by a few months) 😭😭

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IDFK. I FREESTYLED THIS FUCK, IDK THE POINT OF THIS IDEK IF THIS IS A POEM OR A PROSE (unedited af)

In every crowded place i see you,

as cliche as it sounds, smile lighting up every room

everything around me turns to a blur

all i can see are those enchanting eyes

shining brighter than the rays of the sun

twinkling starlit eyes, warm, comfortable, holding the entire universe in those irises

every broken dream, every sacrifice, every compromise

imperfect and scarred, holding others, pouring out the elixir of life to others, from your own freezing hands

as if everytime you put others before you, life draining from your pale, trembling hands, you think its worth it,

your smile, it tells the whole story

how can i, merely a fragment of hopelessness brought to life, an injured bird on the side of the pavement, yet another life out of the thousands you've saved,

ever, ever take this away from you, take this happiness, this sense of being wanted, this urge to be needed

knowing every piece of you, you give to others, every soul that rises above through you,

takes away a piece of my heart and the flames rise up to heavens,

while my ashes sink to the ground, penetrating deep, deep down through the mud, through the ground, through the earth

as flame engulfs me whole

my dear angel I'll cherish our memories

remember me when youre home

as i sit through the enternal flames, a tear sheds from my eye,

if you would've allowed me to, my dear,

I would've given up my life, again, in a heartbeat, if it meant you putting yourself first, no compromise, no sacrifice just us against the world

Away from the system, away from everything that could make you unsafe

quiet, serene, together, while the heaven, the hell and the earth unravel, cause chaos, join forces together to find the lost souls who ran away, who broke the rules, who sought the forbidden tomorrow, than the broken today

[layuhsblog]

I'm gonna spam my blog. teehee

your fault u followed me

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theres a fucking storm outside and there's no electricity and I MISS AIRCON PLEASE ELECTRICITY COME BACK PLSPLS I WANT TO CHARGE MY PHONE AND READ SMUT AND TALK TO MY BOYFIE AND WATCH STUPID POP CULTURE VIDEOS AND SEE BRAINROT REELS 😔😔😔😔😔😔

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sending love to those fighting the job market

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chat am i slowly becoming an nsfw blog

doing my weekly goon sesh (re-reading all of your works) and i fucking love that you made geto a munch 🥴🥴

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MY BOYFIE FR

(i def fell first but he doesnt know that)

yes i love it when men fall first AND harder and then suffer because of it. i find it HOT. there i said it! and no im not taking it back

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quiet protectiveness IS so sexy just knowing that they’re rock steady beside you and nothing can harm you but also not rocking the boat and putting you in dangerous situations (even if you’re fine regardless) because they value peace

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remember the ghostface smut i asked yall to remind me to write about in six months

....i forgot. 😭

FUCK IT WAS SO HOT

i cant remember it now

//pls gimme ghostface imagines to get ideas (totally for research purposes)