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there is a gaping hole in my chest

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im at the point where my heart physically hurts because of how debilitatingly lonely i feel. i know thats pathetic but i cant help it

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even though i might, even though i've tried, i cant

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"the first notable anti-virgin of our fiction, the prototype of the blasphemous potraits of the Fair Goddess as bitch in which our twentieth-century fiction abounds."

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my favourite albums at the moment (NOT to be confused with my favourite albums of all time)

Adrianne Lenker's new live record

The Raincoats self titled

Scream the Sound - The Emerald Down

Unfun and 24 Hour Revenge Therapy - Jawbreaker

Revolver

Live City Sounds - Mary Lou Lord

The Low End Theory (1991)

Germ Free Adolescents - X Ray Spex

Winks & Kisses - Airiel

The Bootleg Series Vol. 6: Bob Dylan Live 1964, Concert at Philharmonic Hall

Post-Nothing - Japandroids

Some Girls Wander by Mistake - Sisters of Mercy

Best Of - Chapterhouse

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but if you want me to I can be just like you and pretend that we never have touched

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Banana Oatmeal

1/3 cup oats, 1/3 cup milk, 1/2 cup water, 1/2 banana thinly sliced, 1 tsp vanilla, pinch of salt

Heat the oats, milk and water over medium heat. Wait until bubbling, then add banana and whip into the mixture. After 5 minutes most of the liquid should have been absorbed, and your oatmeal (we call it porridge where I live, which sounds much less appetizing) is ready! Garnish/ top with vanilla, cinnamon, chia seeds, cocunt flakes, dried fruits, nuts, whatever you have on hand.

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the unsent project but instead of writing letters never sent it's the letters that never should have been sent. which regret would be deeper? saying too much or nothing at all?

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"Whenever she smiled at me heaven blew in...But the thought of her gave me such continual anguish that I could no more forget her than an aching tooth. It was involuntary, hopeless, compulsive. For years she had been the first thing I remembered when I woke up, the last thing that drifted through my mind as I went to sleep, and during the day she came to me obtrusively, obsessively, always with a painful shock...Everything about her was a snowstorm of fascination."

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this is not how you treat someone that you like. this not how you treat someone that you have even an inch of respect for. how dare you?

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A talented neurologist named Mary lives in a room that is entirely black and white. She is knowledgable on all aspects of colour, but she has never actually seen colour. The philosopher's argument here is this: Even if she knows all there is to know on the subject, experiencing something, hitherto forming a conscious experience of said subject, can still teach her something new. Despite her expertise, Mary will undoubtedly achieve greater knowledge if she is ever to experience colour. A person can study the physical properties of a thing all they want, but to actually experience it as a concrete mental state (such as perception) is another thing entirely.

Consider this in terms of Artificial Intelligence. We can feed a computer all the human knowledge there is in the world, and it will still be the least human thing to ever exist. As humans we must acknowledge the greatest flaw of AI: that is has never experienced what it is to be human and can hence never develop the mental consciousness that we possess. AI cannot demonstrate cognition, original thought, imagination or any of the other mental states that every single human possesses in some capacity, and it is for this very reason that AI can never fully replicate humanity. Consider the "full wine glass" example. For a very long time AI was unable to generate an image of a full wine glass, because it had only ever seen wine glasses half-filled. This is again attributable to its lack of mental consiousness. AI cannot generate something it has never seen because it can't grasp mental concepts such as "fullness".

It's probably obvious to many of you that studying the theory of something doesn't equate to actually experiencing this it, seeing or hearing for example. These facts are evident to us because we are constantly cognizing the world around us- thinking, memorizing, experiencing through sensory perception.

What must be understood is that AI has lived its entirety lifespan in a variant of Mary's room. AI has never experienced the smell of rain, the taste of an apple, the joy at seeing a friend for the first time in a while. AI has the ability to study such experiences, but that's it.

So I ask you now: Why the hell would we use AI as a means to replace human jobs, human knowledge, human creation? Humanity is not something to be studied and then cast aside... is it?

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july by noah cyrus has been with me for a while now

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"If they do not now accept our terms, they may expect a reign of ruin from the air, the likes of which has never been seen on this Earth.”

I much prefer the Truman of Jim Carrey fame to this fucking piece of work

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the grave of Audrey Hepburn, one of the most iconic figures hollywood of all time, is not even close to the most extravagant memorial in the cemetery. It was a very sad and lonely looking thing.

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find me

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