learningtobeadaughter

[learningtobeadaughter]

People are so trifling

[learningtobeadaughter]

13th April

I’ve been a bit out of it lately.

I feel overwhelmed man. So many things I want to talk to God about but some of these issues are so deeply rooted that I just don’t have the strength to dig it up.

Some of these issues I feel so much shame about and I really just don’t want to talk to anyone about it. I don’t want to think about these things because I find it embarrassing.

EURGH. It’s really hard to share an embarrassing moment/thought with someone you really respect and admire. It’s even worse when you know that they know!

[learningtobeadaughter]

In the nicest way possible, I need to learn to be unapologetic about how I feel.

I’m always a person that try’s to put other people and their feelings first but that just leads to my own thoughts and feelings being stifled.

I’m deffo going to have to learn to still care about others but to also live for me a little.

[learningtobeadaughter]

I really do wonder what God has called me to do. I’m really excited to see!!

[learningtobeadaughter]

The spirit really is one. God has really been talking to me about my self-image and how I need to really be rooted in the word when it comes to how I view myself.

I need to rejoice in who God Gad created me to be because he really did take his time to create me and he was so happy and glad with who he made me to be. I can only imagine how much I hurt him every time I wish myself away by praying to look like or be another person.

Thank you God for showing me that I am blessed to be made the way that I am. Thank you for pouring out your love in me and for taking the time to create me.

[learningtobeadaughter]

2nd April 2020

I had a chat with my Pastor. God bless that man!

I realise that when trying to articulate my issues to him a lot of it is really in my head. I set some crazy standards for myself and then get upset when I don’t meet them. But not meeting this standards doesn’t make me a failure.

These are all lies from the enemy.

I’m not as stagnant as I think, I’m not at the same place I thought I was.

He also helped me to understand that there is no method for doing things. I just need to do!

My mum also said i need to stop acting like I’m an unbeliever.

God is going to show up and show out for me. And that might not look like what I except but it’s still going to be exceedingly and abundantly more than what I thought.

Thanks for the message father x

[learningtobeadaughter]

I deffo need to work on my insecurities because this single season CANNOT last forever.

Wheeeerrre do I begin?

[learningtobeadaughter]

Trusting in God can be scary. I just started to work in trusting Him and honestly, there have been moments in which I’m paralyzed by fear. It’s a process, but I promise that working on it will make it better. I’m working on that too, you aren’t alone.

[learningtobeadaughter]

Book of the month

I am thinking of studying 1 Samuel.

Why? I initially wanted to look at and study King David and his life of praise (alongside the Pslams). But the story of Hannah is a profound one even though it only lasts for a chapter.

Fun fact- my name is also Hannah! My mum said she used the story of Bible Hannah as Inspo, she wanted God to hear my cries wherever I am the same way he heard hers! I love that so much. Any one else have any similar stories?

[learningtobeadaughter]

Thank you Lord for this new month. This new beginning is something I needed and I pray that it doesn’t go to waste. Please order my steps this month and help my unbelief in certain areas of my life.

Help me to have faith in you.

Faith that you can do all things. Faith in your hand in my education. You didn’t bring me to this uni to fail but that your glory and your capabilities could be shown. I want this degree to testify of the goodness of the Lord in my life. To testify of your faithfullness. Because though I was faithless you remained faithful. Not my by might but by your spirit.

I’m so scared Father of these grades and these assignments but I will continue to hand them over to you daily. Even though my unbelief tries to tell me that I can’t rely on you I will because you haven’t let me down. Everything happens for a reason. This is a lesson I long forgot because some of the things that have happened I didn’t seek to understand the reasons why. You made a wonderful thing out of the things i did but I was so hurt by the way it turned out that I blamed you. I have been so hurt by some of my past failures that I’ve carried them with me for too long. I’ve allowed them to hinder me. Please help me to lay them at your feet as I move into the last few months of my university education.

Everything happens for a reason.

I am where I am because of you and you will continue to make a way for me. You have my back. You always have. In this month help me to behold the new thing that you are doing. Help me to finally stop looking back and to stop thinking “what if”. You are the God of my yesterday, today and tomorrow and if you promise that you will not change then help me to remain steadfast in that promise.

Thank you ❤️

[learningtobeadaughter]

1st April 2020

So...

I’m sure I’m not the only one who proclaimed that this year was going to be a great one. And I’m still hopeful that it will be.

But my current battles have shown me that I’m just not anywhere near flipping this year on its head. I want to live abundantly like Christ promised me but that is just not the case right now.

I’m starting this blog for myself. I want a space where I can let out my raw emotions, where I can vent, where I can share, where I can wallow (LOOL this came from one of the funniest video ever man), encourage, praise and just learn.

This is a personal something, but I also wanted to share how I feel with others because I know other people might need someone to relate to. This is a tough journey but not a lonely one! My asks are always open and I would really love for people to communicate with me as I go on this journey.

I’m proper excited man! I feel like this is the pick me up I needed. And if you need a pick me up please I encourage you to try something similar x