leeisautistic - Tumblr blog

[leeisautistic]

kind of running out of good dark rise fanfics to read that aren't straight up 🌽 i prefer fics with will/james but i will settle for anything at this point. There are only 173 works on ao3. A lot of them are not finished.

We are a starving fandom. Please help

[leeisautistic]

HELLO MOOT 🫴 How do you feel about Cyprian (im normal about him)

I have very strong feelings about this lol. I try to remind myself that he is only a kid. People on here always mention how he was brainwashed his whole life so of course he would believe that betraying Will was the right thing to do.

But even knowing this. In a very real sense he annoys me sooo much. I think his lack of critical thinking skills is very deliberate on Pacat's part as like I said, he is just a brainwashed kid. But god. Some random person shows up and you decide to immediately believe them and forget everything you know about your friend? I think what annoys me the most though is the fact he drank from the cup. Like YOU KNOW doing this will give you a shadow and the dark king is able to control shadows AND YOU STILL DRINK FROM THE CUP? come on now

Do I understand why he is the way he is: yes. Do I like him: absolutely not. But it's okay because not all characters are written to be likeable

[leeisautistic]

reminder that grief is everything, not just what people tell you it is. grief is knowing someone will die in the next two weeks. grief is missing them before they're even gone. grief is missing talking to them, laughing with them. grief is worrying about someone you see once a year. but it's more than that too. grief is being upset you have to miss the first two days of your new classes to go see your grandparent that's dying. grief is not telling any of your friends because you think it will bring down the mood. grief is acting unaffected. grief is crying once or not at all. grief is laughing and joking about it. grief is everything. and none of those things are selfish. if you feel selfish for worrying about things other than the person in your life that is passing or has passed, don't. you're grieving. you're allowed to grieve however you do. it can be different between one person and another. and i know everyone says to just feel what you're feeling but judges you for what you feel. it doesn't matter. it's none of their business. feel whatever you do, grieve however you do, love however you do.

[leeisautistic]

so this is not at all something i would post normally but im not sure who else to tell it to. i lost my grandfather yesterday. even typing that now somehow feels so dull. like not real. nothing about this feels real. it feels like I'm gonna go to his house and he will take us out for milkshakes in the car he loves. and he will tell the same stories he always does because he loves telling them. and i will listen because i secretly love hearing them.

god he loved us so so much. it hurts so much to say that. he loved us so much and i don't know if he knew how much we loved him. when he died i wonder if he could remember just how much we loved him and his stories and his car and his milkshakes.

i hope it doesn't always feel like this but at the same time i kind of hope it does. because i did love him and if this hurt is what it takes to admit it i will feel it and maybe where he is he feels it too

[leeisautistic]

[leeisautistic]

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

[leeisautistic]

obviously as long as everyone involved are consenting adults

it's ok to be horny! it's good to be perverted! your sexuality isn't shameful and the things that turn you on are good and should be celebrated!!! even if its weird!!!! especially if it's weird and fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!

[leeisautistic]

i love you magic as a corrupting force. i love you magic that hurts the user. i love you magic that makes the user less human. i love you magic that takes away people's memory. i love you magic that's used for good but has a price. i love you magic that hurts to use. i-

[leeisautistic]

Hi, funny seeing you here!

I'm Lee (pronouns are she/they). You have stumbled upon my tumblr account. Good luck navigating through it; even at the best of times I don't know what's going on here 😇❤️

I started this blog as a way to interact with and post about Dark Rise content. It has since kind of spiralled into me posting about anything that pops into my mind: usually series that I'm reading. Besides that, I am queer and autistic and often post about these things. If you are going to be homophobic, transphobic, ableist or bigoted in any other way this is not the place for you.

I love discourse and crazy theories. Feel free to share yours!

[leeisautistic]

this scene was so cute

I have read the Dark Rise series. I have chosen to fixate in the most irrelevant ass couple. Thats Devon’s Lion for u

Pictures taken right before Visander has an aneurysm

[leeisautistic]

i've read the dark rise series three times since the first time I read it in April. and i so desperately want to read it again but I need to plan out my rereads so that by the time book 3 comes out i can still reread the series with the same amount of excitement.

now i know the feeling of waiting for exciting news that needs to be delivered by pigeon

[leeisautistic]

once again i have been thinking about how will seems to be drawn to things that are "light". he has this urge to touch the tree once Elizabeth lights it. he is drawn to to James/ Anharion even though his magic feels "like the sun. or something brighter." seems strange for the dark king

[leeisautistic]

will kempen

[leeisautistic]

how do airdrop this to C.S Pacat's incredible mind? 😭

Honestly I hope the Comedy part in the third book is James doing the Wrong Customs sometimes because of his memories as Anharion.

Like idk sometimes he says stuff in the wrong language because he has like at least 30 years memories worth speaking the ancient tongue. OR SMTH LIKE THAT IDK

[leeisautistic]

i got two stupid thoughts about Godkiller/Sunbringer (still reading Sunbringer)

Elogast I love you and the fact you have two moms HOWEVER. If you ever fucked Arren you'd probably think it wasn't gay because you had your eyes closed/was a bro moment, etc.

Arren, he has to be aware he has/had(?) feelings for Elo right... right?

edit okay a third thought

3. Kissen marry me please i beg you please please please

[leeisautistic]

james st. clair. literally cannot think of a better example

i looooove characters who are sacrificial lamb coded. characters who have never lived for themselves. characters born to be a tool, a weapon, a sacrifice, all of the above. a character raised by the heroes to save the world, at any expense, even their own health, even their own life. a character raised by the villains to end the world, at any expense, even their own health, even their own life. characters who are denied personhood so they can be used as tools instead. characters who never even had a chance to be people because they were shaped into something else from the moment they were born. characters who were born to die.

[leeisautistic]

sacrean committed grand misdeeds and the universe decided to punish him in the worst way known to man; being a teenager and knowing your mother hates you.