lemurmate

[lemurmate]

I just remembered this and something that used to be a bit of a thing was suggestions on who to soulbond to

There was a blog dedicated to pros and cons of different soulbonds, but earlier ones also had lists of soulbonds (so like trying to find a soulbond to help with motivation suggestions were Papyrus, The Doctor, Moriarty, Scooter)

I don't think soulbonding has caught on with voluntary plural groups in the same way that created systems have, but bringing this concept back could be an alternative to Build a Headmates for soulbonders or thoughtformers looking for help with fictives

The pros and cons also helps a bit with getting a second opinion on what you'll be dealing with

[lemurmate]

Lighter note from what I've been posting is that the other day at the Pokemon card tournament someone was playing the new Misty's deck and was wearing a collared shirt with a Psyduck pattern, like dude was READY

[lemurmate]

lynx 2

[lemurmate]

I commented this on a syscourse post but something I think a lot of neurodivergent, mentally ill, and disabled communities might benefit from bringing back is the concept of cousins

From a definition from Jim Sinclair, who's experiences with hydrocephalus led to the creation of the term cousin:

"Cousin refers to a person who is not NT, is not quite autistic, but is recognizably “autistic-like” particularly in terms of communication and social characteristics.  Some conditions that may lead to cousinhood include Tourette syndrome, hydrocephalus, Williams syndrome, and some learning disabilities."

This is a really good article explaining it that we saw linked discusses this a lot more and discusses the potential of it outside of just autism and the benefits of bringing back cousinhood.

With online communities, and like specifically discourse, you also have:

The general confusion about why endogenic systems use terms that come from DID and vice versa. They're cousins and are far more likely to have more in common with each other than with singlets, and have same lexical gaps that get filled by the other.

Someone feels like their experiences are very close to autism but they aren't autistic, whether with being undiagnosed or having similar disorders. Instead of forcing them into trans-autistic labels, direct them towards cousin terms.

Someone feels a need to be traumatized, whether because of existing trauma, exotrauma, or some kind of metaphor, considering themselves a trauma or PTSD cousin is a lot safer than trans-traumatized.

Etc

[lemurmate]

baby aye ayes are like if a baby bird was put into a mammal

[lemurmate]

Thanks for that! Yeah I should have at least added that as alt text, I can go ahead and edit it in

I finally looked at that soulbonding strawpage so it's time to disprove it. Feel free to link this if this discourse ever comes up over there I don't really care

This is also highlights why you really shouldn't trust anything presenting itself as an informational resource that doesn't have sources. Don't worry everyone, I spent way too long going through websites that were made for a monitor the size of a shoebox to get them

so the reason is moreso that the term system wasn't known to the soulbonding community at the time and it's a case of two separately developed communities. Think like otherkin and therian developed separately but started to share terms later.

Unfortunately, LiveJournal was being a bitch, and the soulbonding LJ was not archived well. Thankfully I did find a mirror that let me search, and here are the earliest results.

The most blatant one is sourced 08.07.03: "(I have SoulBonds, and one could say I'm part of a multiple-ish system. It's *not* DID, though. I guess most of you know about empowered multiplicity and SBing anyway.)"

You can find a lot more references to soulbonds as systems from around this time too! and nothing really saying they aren't systems (even in early accounts of discourse).

You also have this essay, likely from around that time, that discusses directly this combining between soulbonding and multiplicity.

"If you look through the annals of history, you'll notice that much of the soulbonding community thought itself very far removed from plurality, and the multiple community out there didn't even address soulbonding at all. Recently, all of this has been changing very quickly. Now, you don't have to look very hard to find multiple systems who admit to soulbonding, or soulbonders who have acknowledged themselves as multiple."

(Also "Hopefully in a year or two, we'll be writing another essay called 'Our Thoughts on the New Friendship Between the Multiple and Soulbonding Communities.'" BUDDY I AM SORRY-)

I also actually found a comment on Psych Forums, a DID community, that discusses soulbonds in 2010 and having soulbonds with alters, which was very interesting.

But anyway either way it seems like when soulbonders learned about the term system and multiple, they started using it.

Similar to what happened with fictive actually but that's a whole other topic to explain.

I wasn't going to acknowledge this because I don't know fuck all about tulpamancy, but stuff about the overlap kept coming up in other sources so here you go.

From Soul Whispers in at least 2004 (context being a semi-conscious creation element to soulbonding): "This theory also has its own basis in ancient spiritualities; there is a belief in some Eastern religions, such as Tibetan Buddhism, that people can create and shape "thought-forms" that take on a spirit-realm life of their own as animals, mythological creatures, or other people."

From Living Library in 2015: "Still other soulbonders deliberately set out to create a soulbond (which often overlaps to some degree with tulpamancy, the practice of deliberately creating new consciousnesses as mental companions)"

So like there is a known overlap, but I couldn't give you anything super insightful on that.

Not inherently, no. This personal essay from Soul Whispers earliest archived in 2004 points out how complicated soulbond theories are, acknowledges psychological theories ("One theory that once used to be popular, and probably originated from the old Multiple Personality Disorder idea (or else was just suggested because it seems simple and obvious), is that a SoulBond is just you personifying a part of you which you refuse to acknowledge or which might need an outlet"). While it acknowledges the multiverse theory, it also concludes with an imaginary-created world turned real theory against the multiverse theory.

This essay from 2000 also highlights the early writer/muse focus that the community has.

The spiritual-focused view was popularized by From Fiction. I don't have a source beyond "system joined the soulbonding community in 2016", but if you look up anything from them, it is very spirituality/multi-verse focused, and that can also be seen with their fictionkin stuff.

If you want a newer example, Living Library's site from 2015 directly acknowledges this: "Some soulbonders see soulbonding in a psychological light, whether by considering their soulbonds aspects of their own personality or as conscious psychological entities like themselves."

Also from experience, some of it came from other systems seeing the term and assuming soul = spiritual.

You can see the above essays and sources to see that that's not a universal view that all soulbonders have. Actually a few of those acknowledge the view that soulbonds might be a part of the host.

Though that is true that soulbonds can be anything!

This is another yes and no thing. If you're coming at this from a strictly multiverse view, yeah, but again not all soulbonders view it like that.

It can also get a little muddy if you have a soulbond who doesn't really acknowledge you as a headmate (i.e. seeing you as just a headvoice on their end).

From what I've seen personally, the divination thing is relatively new in the community, and I think came from the overlap with reality shifting and that bringing in more spiritual beliefs? At least looking through the LiveJournal archive I couldn't find jack shit for divination and soulbonding.

Interestingly I also see this a lot more with the self shipping overlap, which seems to be reinforced by the StrawPage including links for that, but I don't know anything about self shipping culture or yumeship.

Likewise this is genuinely the first time I've seen it compared to deity worship.

I have seen it compared to pop culture paganism sometimes, but from our experiences having some spiritual soulbonds and pop culture deities... not really? I can kind of see it though? But I wouldn't say it as a universal thing. Cool if you experience it like that though!

Anyway all that aside, the only other terms they have being like self shipping focused is a little annoying, especially since soulbonding actually does have a lot of interesting terms that's developed within it

[lemurmate]

great blue heron

[lemurmate]

Sometimes I put my face up against my dog while he's sleeping to feel his little lungs expand and his little heart beat and I am struck by the beauty of of life and the miracle of nature to evolve for thousands of years just to create one little guy and put him in my house

[lemurmate]

I finally looked at that soulbonding strawpage so it's time to disprove it. Feel free to link this if this discourse ever comes up over there I don't really care

This is also highlights why you really shouldn't trust anything presenting itself as an informational resource that doesn't have sources. Don't worry everyone, I spent way too long going through websites that were made for a monitor the size of a shoebox to get them

so the reason is moreso that the term system wasn't known to the soulbonding community at the time and it's a case of two separately developed communities. Think like otherkin and therian developed separately but started to share terms later.

Unfortunately, LiveJournal was being a bitch, and the soulbonding LJ was not archived well. Thankfully I did find a mirror that let me search, and here are the earliest results.

The most blatant one is sourced 08.07.03: "(I have SoulBonds, and one could say I'm part of a multiple-ish system. It's *not* DID, though. I guess most of you know about empowered multiplicity and SBing anyway.)"

You can find a lot more references to soulbonds as systems from around this time too! and nothing really saying they aren't systems (even in early accounts of discourse).

You also have this essay, likely from around that time, that discusses directly this combining between soulbonding and multiplicity.

"If you look through the annals of history, you'll notice that much of the soulbonding community thought itself very far removed from plurality, and the multiple community out there didn't even address soulbonding at all. Recently, all of this has been changing very quickly. Now, you don't have to look very hard to find multiple systems who admit to soulbonding, or soulbonders who have acknowledged themselves as multiple."

(Also "Hopefully in a year or two, we'll be writing another essay called 'Our Thoughts on the New Friendship Between the Multiple and Soulbonding Communities.'" BUDDY I AM SORRY-)

I also actually found a comment on Psych Forums, a DID community, that discusses soulbonds in 2010 and having soulbonds with alters, which was very interesting.

But anyway either way it seems like when soulbonders learned about the term system and multiple, they started using it.

Similar to what happened with fictive actually but that's a whole other topic to explain.

I wasn't going to acknowledge this because I don't know fuck all about tulpamancy, but stuff about the overlap kept coming up in other sources so here you go.

From Soul Whispers in at least 2004 (context being a semi-conscious creation element to soulbonding): "This theory also has its own basis in ancient spiritualities; there is a belief in some Eastern religions, such as Tibetan Buddhism, that people can create and shape "thought-forms" that take on a spirit-realm life of their own as animals, mythological creatures, or other people."

From Living Library in 2015: "Still other soulbonders deliberately set out to create a soulbond (which often overlaps to some degree with tulpamancy, the practice of deliberately creating new consciousnesses as mental companions)"

So like there is a known overlap, but I couldn't give you anything super insightful on that.

Not inherently, no. This personal essay from Soul Whispers earliest archived in 2004 points out how complicated soulbond theories are, acknowledges psychological theories ("One theory that once used to be popular, and probably originated from the old Multiple Personality Disorder idea (or else was just suggested because it seems simple and obvious), is that a SoulBond is just you personifying a part of you which you refuse to acknowledge or which might need an outlet"). While it acknowledges the multiverse theory, it also concludes with an imaginary-created world turned real theory against the multiverse theory.

This essay from 2000 also highlights the early writer/muse focus that the community has.

The spiritual-focused view was popularized by From Fiction. I don't have a source beyond "system joined the soulbonding community in 2016", but if you look up anything from them, it is very spirituality/multi-verse focused, and that can also be seen with their fictionkin stuff.

If you want a newer example, Living Library's site from 2015 directly acknowledges this: "Some soulbonders see soulbonding in a psychological light, whether by considering their soulbonds aspects of their own personality or as conscious psychological entities like themselves."

Also from experience, some of it came from other systems seeing the term and assuming soul = spiritual.

You can see the above essays and sources to see that that's not a universal view that all soulbonders have. Actually a few of those acknowledge the view that soulbonds might be a part of the host.

Though that is true that soulbonds can be anything!

This is another yes and no thing. If you're coming at this from a strictly multiverse view, yeah, but again not all soulbonders view it like that.

It can also get a little muddy if you have a soulbond who doesn't really acknowledge you as a headmate (i.e. seeing you as just a headvoice on their end).

From what I've seen personally, the divination thing is relatively new in the community, and I think came from the overlap with reality shifting and that bringing in more spiritual beliefs? At least looking through the LiveJournal archive I couldn't find jack shit for divination and soulbonding.

Interestingly I also see this a lot more with the self shipping overlap, which seems to be reinforced by the StrawPage including links for that, but I don't know anything about self shipping culture or yumeship.

Likewise this is genuinely the first time I've seen it compared to deity worship.

I have seen it compared to pop culture paganism sometimes, but from our experiences having some spiritual soulbonds and pop culture deities... not really? I can kind of see it though? But I wouldn't say it as a universal thing. Cool if you experience it like that though!

Anyway all that aside, the only other terms they have being like self shipping focused is a little annoying, especially since soulbonding actually does have a lot of interesting terms that's developed within it

[lemurmate]

It's sort of a yes and no situation, soulbonding just developed as a separate community to plurality, so it really depends on the soulbonder how they identify and is a lot like tulpamancy with that

though I'd say soulbonding is grouped under plurality by default, it's just an opt out situation and not all soulbonders will identify with what's considered the plural community.

suddenly interested in soulbonding. are soulbonders considered plural or systems or are they completely separate?

[lemurmate]

being a therian and a soulbonder is so funny because it's just "hi I'm a lemur. I'm in your brain now. I hate the government"

[lemurmate]

I'll shoot a reblog because none of the systems are talking about the kin misinformation here.

So yeah fictionkin is genuinely believing you are a fictional character. The "fictionkin don't REALLY believe they're a fictional character" thing is misinformation and came in part because people think the actual definition is "too crazy".

Fictionkin also isn't inherently for coping or anything like that and generally isn't considered a coping mechanism. There are psychological fictionkin, but the reasons aren't just for coping (it can be just neurodivergence, imprinting, etc). Even for kin because of trauma, I wouldn't call them a coping mechanism any more than you'd call introjects in systems coping mechanisms.

If you think it's a sign of mental illness, fine my point here is just to correct blatant misinformation for now, but you are using the label yourself and being a little hypocritical for someone snippy about the misuse of introject.

Here's the sources: the article on the Otherkin Wiki, Fictionkin.org, A Timeline of the Fictionkin Community

Then if you want information on where this misinformation about the definition of kin came from, KFF testimony covers it well.

Anyway, fictives of any kind, which includes introjects, are generally open to the fictionkin label too if they choose it. The only criteria is genuinely identifying as something from fiction and there are introjects who do. They're all up there in the spectrum of fictional identity either way.

anytime someone says kinning is the same thing as introjection another hostage dies

[lemurmate]

Ideas to make your system members feel safer!

Sometimes healing starts with small, quiet gestures. Here are some things that helped us feel safer inside and out:

🖍️ Make a collage of images and words that feel safe.

💌 Write comforting letters to your headmates. Encourage them to write back!

💗 Create a list of grounding tools and affirmations. Keep it somewhere where everyone can find when it's needed!

🧸 Offer external comfort objects like a soft blanket, a bracelet, or toy.

🔒 Create a “grounding box" with items that engage the senses. For example, you can use photos for sight, perfume for smell, candy for taste, and fidget toys for touch.

🛏️ Design safe areas in your innerworld where anyone can rest, hide, or heal.

🎁 Let headmates have something they can call their own, like a a journal.

🕯️ Visualize something protecting your innerworld. It can be anything: a magic barrier, a tall tree, a dragon, a glowing rune.

🎧 Make a playlist of soothing sounds or songs. Let others know it’s okay to listen.

🐚 Speak kindly inside, even if you’re frustrated. It sets the tone. It shows you’re trying.

[lemurmate]

so I wanted to articulate my thoughts with the whole system accountability thing and why headmate accountability works better for my system personally, but I'm experiencing art block so I'm bringing back 2011 to make a pmd sprite comic