lepanoui

[lepanoui]

i just want people to look at me and see an@

[lepanoui]

discipline is making the right choice when you don't want to

especially when you don't want to

specifically when you don't want to

of course you'll make the right choice when you want to. if you always wanted to, you would already be where you want to be.

notice how you're not.

what gets you closer to your goal is making the right choice when you absolutely don't want to.

because those are the moments that keep you stuck. keep you unhappy. keep you full and stuffed and behind. THOSE are THE moments where this all matters.

making the right choice in THOSE moments gets you somewhere.

you can't count on "feeling like it"

you have to make the choices you don't want to make

[lepanoui]

I-

[lepanoui]

checking in on my physical hunger, the sensation of fullness in my stomach, has been integral in choosing when not to eat lately. so many times i think im hungry and want to eat, even just something safe or smart, but i check in w my stomach and its fuller than i realize, my mind plays so many tricks but catching it early has been crucial cause then i simply don't have anything ✨

[lepanoui]

the art of pacing in your room: how i calculate burn when i can't go on a real walk and i don't have a fitness tracker

disclaimer: very good chance this is inaccurate, its just something i worked out that works for me personally. each person is different! this helps me a lot tho and i figured id share :)

walking in place is one of my favorite fail-safe ways to burn cal when i can't go for a real walk. whether its being able to breeze through laps around my house when im home alone or quietly marching in place in my room late at night, its something i turn to when i just want to burn extra or need to deal with an overage.

the cool news is that no matter what, you always burn something when you do it! but im a serious numbers person and get obsessive with just how much that amount is, problem is i don't have a fitness tracker and when you aren't covering any real distance, it's kinda hard to figure out. so this is the process i used to calculate (as close as possible) what this number looks like for myself:

1. Steps per minute, then steps per hour

First thing I did was time how many steps I get walking in place in a minute.

When I have to quietly march in place, it's about 77 steps

When I can go faster throughout my house, it's closer to 112 steps

I'm a believer in underestimating cals burned so I use the smaller number for my calculations no matter what type of pacing I'm doing, just to be safe.

To get steps per hour, I multiply by 60:

77 steps per minute x 60 minutes = 4,620 steps per hour

2. Steps in a mile

Not covering any real distance makes this a bit harder to estimate accurately. For this, I use this site which provides the average steps per mile for each height.

I'm 5'3", and this list says the average steps per mile for someone of this height is 2,395 steps per mile

3. Pace

Since I know how many steps I get in an hour, and I know roughly how many steps are in a mile for my height, I can figure out my pace by dividing steps per hour by steps per mile to see how many miles I'm covering in an hour.

4,620 steps per hour / 2,395 steps per mile = 1.92 mph (I round up to 2.0)

4. Plug it in

Now that I know my pace, I plug my information into this treadmill burn calculator, which tells me how many cal I burn for however many minutes of walking at this pace.

Incline: 0.0%

Weight: 116 lbs (I'm 110.2 now, but I calculated these numbers when I was at 116 and I'm waiting till I'm more solidly in the 100's to officially change it)

Time: I'll go with 10 minutes

Distance is left blank

Speed (pace): 2.0

Hit calculate, and it tells me that walking at a pace of 2.0 mph at my weight for 10 minutes burns 23 cal

And that's it!

I plugged in different times of 10, 20, and 30 mins, which are respectively 23, 47, and 70 cal, and these are the baseline numbers I always go by.

So when I set a timer and walk in place for 20 min, I know I'm roughly burning 47 cal. If I pace for one hour, I can easily calculate that's 140 cal (two half hours) and so on.

This is especially helpful for when I know I'm, say, 50 cal over my limit, I can just set a timer for a half hour, throw on a show or podcast, and when time is up I know I've burned off the overage (plus a little more).

Like I said, good chance this is not at all accurate lol. But it works for me, and I obsess over numbers a lot so I've found it to be helpful when I need it. And since I'm underestimating anyway, at least there's some wiggle room!

Since walking in place burns cal no matter what the numbers are, here are some ways I enhance my pacing so I'm burning juuust a little more:

Swing my arms

Throw in some butt kicks or high knees

I use it especially when doing chores to reeeaaally drag it out to pass the time. Like for putting away dishes. I'll grab one spoon, do a full lap through my house and end up on the other side of the cupboard, put it away, do a full lap around again back to the other side, grab the next thing, and repeat

Same with laundry, while marching I'll pull one shirt out of the hamper, walk to my bed, fold it, walk to the closet, put it away, walk back to the hamper, and repeat. Basically creating more trips for extra movement

I'll march during my nighttime routine, while I wash my face and brush my teeth. Sometimes I do it in the shower, or watching tv, especially late at night I like to throw on a show or something to listen to while the timer runs

In summary:

Find your steps/min

Multiply by 60 to get your steps/hour

Use this to find the avg steps/mile for your height

Divide your steps/hour by this number to get your pace/mph

Plug in your info here for however many minutes you want

Pace 😌

🩵

[lepanoui]

desperately wanting to pvrge but not being able to bc my meds havent digested yet and i kind of need those in my system 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[lepanoui]

fell asleep fantasizing about declining break room treats at the new office job im starting next week

[lepanoui]

sleep for breakfast 😌 0 cal

[lepanoui]

long post just some rambling thoughts

i know we're all very familiar with the whole "when you make foods off limits you end up craving them more" thing and its nothing new, but today i read something in one of those "wl secrets" articles that i rlly liked.

it talked about how the overindulging in those off limits foods when you do eventually have them can come from a place of "im FINALLY letting myself have this and omg its so good its SO good" like the act of making it such a "novelty" in your head unlocks and unleashes this massive craving and desire for MORE once you FINALLY let yourself have it after depriving yourself of it so much, because you've built it up to be such a big deal in your head. so when its FINALLY time, your mind is just like yesss YESSSSS HERE WE GOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOO

and again, i know we know this already lol. but for me this always happens with ice cream in particular, it is my achilles heel 100%, its really the only thing i ever crave or get tempted by and overindulge in and i see now its because i absolutely do build it up to be such a "novelty" in my head since i do overly restrict it. its so unhealthy and sugary and desserty and something i know i will likely indulge in when i do have it, so i tell myself only once a week or only when other people suggest it. but all that does is make me anticipate it even more, so its not that i am gorging on it all the time, but rather that any time i DO have it, as few and far between as it may be, its always a Big Deal and i Have To Have It and my mind automatically goes into yesssss YESSSS HERE WE GOOOO LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO mode

so i think in order to reduce the intensity of this reaction, and hopefully squash it altogether, i am going to allow myself to have ice cream (h@lo t0ps of course not the real stuff) a bit more often, probably a couple times a week. usually a half serving (45 cal) is plenty for me, so its still absolutely a very reasonable amount and is very much low sugar/low fat/healthy alternative.

im just cautious to do this cause even though i know im being very reasonable about it, and that by having it more often it will help reduce the obsession, just the FACT that its ICE CREAM (even tho its just h@lo t0ps!!) is messsssiiinnnggg with me cause i still associate it so strongly with being a ~special occasion only indulgent dessert~ and to have it so... casually during the day doesnt sit right with me 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like usually any day i do end up having ice cream i consider it a failed day. i think its also bc im very careful about making sure my daily cals come from functional foods, like protein/fruit/veg/nutrients so to carve out a space for just ice cream feels like im taking away from the important stuff, even tho realistically i know this will be literally just 45 cal of my day not even every day and its not even a sugary fatty thing its literally like. the healthiest possible alternative for real ice cream. i know theres many people of the mindset that as long as you're in a deficit, you can eat literally anything you want, which is very true! just for myself personally i feel so particular and specific about making sure my cals come from very specific places so its hard for me to get comfortable with that sort of thing. but it is relieving to know theres truth to that so hopefully ill be okay

the only barrier as i begin this is that my aunt sent us home with FIVE PINTS of very real very sugary ice cream we did NOT ask for (i was lowkey genuinely mad at her for doing that lol) so we do have to go through all that first before i can actually buy my h@lo t0ps ;( so ill slowly work my way into it

BUT all this is to say, im going to start allowing ice cream more often because i need to reduce the intensity of my reaction of actually having it so i can keep things balanced 😌

also im going to have it in the middle of the day as opposed to "saving it" as a "special treat" for the evening so i can diminish the association with it being something to look forward all day to, and instead just be something to be Normal and Casual about. this is just one of the biggest hangups i run into so it matters to me that i find a way to manage it somehow

fingers crossed!

thank you for coming to my t3d talk (pun intended)

ALTERNATIVELY: i am on my period so maybe in a week i won't need this anymore LMAO

[lepanoui]

Just remember in 20 seconds, the food will be gone. The taste will be over, and all that will be left is regret. Just like last time.

[lepanoui]

was considering no longer counting fruit unless it was over 100 cal (altho currently i will always count apples and bananas) cause usually i only count it if its 30 cal or more, but since its SUCH a safe healthy option i dont want to scare myself away from it just bc of the cals........ but i worry that giving myself that much leeway will just cause me to pig out on 100 cal of fruit a lot more and therefore just be eating more in general which means more food in my stomach which is the OPPOSITE of what i want so i figured ill just leave it as is 👍 this post sponsored by 30 cal of cantaloupe 👍 going to have some tea

[lepanoui]

getting a lot of mileage out of the phrase "but i simply won't"

i could go get this matcha latte from st@rbvcks, but i simply won't

i could go get lunch at a cafe i like, try a new acai grains bowl i've had my eye on, but i simply won't

i could go get an ice cream in the middle of the day, since i have nothing else going on and can rearrange the rest of my plan around it, but i simply won't

i could put extra creamer in my coffee, try a new trick i saw online, but i simply won't

i could sneak a few extra spoonfuls of yogurt after i already weighed my portion, it would be so small and easy, but i simply won't

instead i will simply stick to my plan, make smarter choices with safe options, and save cals while strengthening my discipline muscle

i could make these seemingly harmless choices, but i simply won't ✨

[lepanoui]

the three bite rule !!

when enjoying something like a sweet treat or a more unhealthy food, especially with friends to keep up appearances, limit your consumption to three bites.

the first bite is pure enjoyment, tasting, and deliciousness. if the food isn’t delicious, don’t have another bite!

the second bite is for savouring the taste, taking in the flavour, mindfully enjoying how it tastes and feels in your mouth.

the third bite is the grand finale; the final moment of enjoyment, and knowing that you have enjoyed the taste enough, that it’s not necessary to continue eating!

push the food away, feeling fabulously light, but still having been able to indulge with your friends!

[lepanoui]

go fuck yourself. tag your ed shit appropriately so people can avoid it. you are causing harm.

i try to tag my posts as much as possible for this reason, let me know what other tags i should add that would be most effective

[lepanoui]

im like thiiiisss close to finally being able to buy clothes in extra small!! im like right between s and xs, small seems like it could be juuust a liiiiiittle more fitted but im not quiiitte at extra small yet but even just being this close is making me giddddyyy

[lepanoui]

here's to a day of zero excuses 🫡

[lepanoui]

fun little hack is when you track before you eat and then end up leaving a few bites on your plate, its like a little surprise gift to yourself of saved cals

like i tracked this whole 64g protein bar for 150 cal, but i actually only ended up eating 60g which is only 140 cal so boom bonus 10 cal 😌 spend it somewhere nice