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My BG3 headcanon: Astarion truly cares about his Tav | Durge, doesn't matter if they are friends or lovers, so when his dearest had a date night, he secretly followed, just in case.

Bonus below:

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After 5 months without drawing and 1 of physiotherapy I can finally get back to this painting

Still putting ice on my arm after the session tho lol

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So, this week I decided to watch the Prince Dragon and, oh boy…

In the Brazilian Portuguese dubbing, Claudia has the same voice actress as Azula from Avatar the last air bender.

And I must say I couldn’t not think of how they have similar paths but Claudia’s makes it so much more emotional and powerful. Don’t get me wrong I love Avatar, but we don’t really empathise with Azula until her downfall, and Claudia is sweet, and charming and charismatic right from the beginning. I am flabbergasted by the writing in this show, and there is so much more I could talk about, but I was sobbing for Claudia 20 minutes ago so imma focus on her right now.

There were many moments when I thought “oh oh”, I guess the first time I thought she’d be a character leading to a bad ending was when she healed Soren from his paraplegic state.

Then Viren lies about what he told Soren to do and she stands by his side. That moment I knew she’d never betray her father. Because differently from Soren, she didn’t seek for his approval, she already had it. They had a relationship, they had a connection, something that Soren didn’t and was so desperate to build with Viren. And that was exactly what lead her to do all she did.

It really did. And hearing Azula’s voice pleading all the emotional things it would be considered weakness at the fire nation made it even harder to watch. But this scene

Broke me even more. I am a 26 years old man, on my couch literally sobbing.

Having her cry, plead, leave her boyfriend, then come back, have that beautiful scene with Terry when he helps her bathe, then she renewed herself, starts to see how things can be different and decides to change paths. But first she needs to find her father, and see him one last time, to end up finding his body under the scrambles. I mean, I would never think this show would get this deep and dark. And one thing I noticed is that this scene made me much more emotional than this one

And the reason isn’t just because we like Claudia more, but because we understand her reasons, she’s not just doing bad things because she is a bad witch, she is using what she has in hands to save what is left of her world. Her last family. And she is likeable. Many times I found myself cheering for her instead of the good guys just to remember she was the “bad guy” and was being used by Aaravos.

I can’t really process all I have to say right now, but yeah. I love this show.

FYI: I wrote this as a draft a long time ago but forgot to post, nevertheless I stand by everything I said.

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Oh well, we’ve all been there, right?

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“Stubborn Artist”

So. I have Lateral Epicondylitis. Which is an inflammation on the root of the tendon on my arm. Apparently it takes a long time to heal and I’ll need to do physiotherapy for a while.

How did I get here? Well…

first I’ve always had some wearing pain on my arm, from either drawing too much for long hours without pauses, or drawing with a bad posture. I tend to bring the paper, canvas, screen, too close to my face when I draw, and that makes my arms flexed in a narrower space to move my hands and draw, tensing my muscles.

My setup is… not ideal 😂 so when I’m on the computer, I was drawing with my hands on a 90 degree angle. That was tensing my arms even more…

I was ALSO not taking breakes 😅. My anxiety and abuse on energetic drinks, got me hyperfocusing for about 6/8 hours with no breaks. I wouldn’t even notice 6 hours have passed. My therapist that’s a symptom of my HDAD. Well I guess that was one of the aggravations.

Besides using the phone for long hours. For a while I was addicted to tiktok.

AND THEN I went to help my grandfather to renovate his house and took the task of breaking the old tiles attached to the floor, with a hammer. On my own. For reference, I weight 50kg.

After that I completely fucked my arm. And haven’t been able to grab a pen, type or anything that uses my hands. Just doodling that drawing above already made my arms sore and hurt.

It be a lie to say that I’m okay, it came to me that I don’t really know who I am without the craft. It’s weird and I don’t know what to do. So lately I’m being forced to look at other areas of my life besides art.

I realised there were a lot of things I just wasn’t doing. I convinced myself I’d be progressing as long as I kept practicing, but there were a lot of things that needed my attention. Areas in my life I’ve been neglecting. People in my life who needed me.

I am taking the time to think carefully about what I will do next, and reflect on what I can do in my life that doesn’t involve drawing or art. I ended up isolating myself from the world specially after the pandemic, and for these past years my social life was inexistent, and I didn’t realise how much it affected my confidence in actually showing my work and not being a dictator, judge, devilish Anton Ego on myself every time I grab a pen.

I am noticing now, even though I am very introspective, I do enjoy being around people. It’s healthy for me to actually be present, to talk to them, being on conventions, and workshops, and presencial courses, and getting to meet new people, and see their work. I guess, for having a tendency for introspection and self isolation, and, I think the pandemic collaborated to that immensely as well, I just unlearned how to interact with people, and that raised my anxiety levels, because I have forgotten how people can be nice, and funny, and beautiful, creative. And my experiences on high school had me believe otherwise. Media, series, books, stories, all that invests into narratives where random people are mean and hostile with the main character. And that’s because that kind of conflict fascinates us, it makes the story more interesting. But life isn’t always like that. In fact those cases, bumping onto someone deliberately trying to attack you, is mora rare than kindness and empathy. People don’t like conflict, we enjoy watching a show with it, but being involved in it brings stress and anxiety. And we hate that.

Being so much in my own head, made me forget, or maybe I’ve never actually learned, that there is nothing to be anxious about showing your work. It’s the best way to connect with people.

it's funny to me that the right mindset for art was only brought to me when I was forced to stop practicing, it's absurdly ironic in fact.

I'm not helthy, but I feel like I'm in the right path now...

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Day 2 of pleinair painting

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I’ve been attempting to plein air painting and it’s quite fun. I have injured my hand last month and I’m still recovering, but surprisingly I didn’t feel any pain while I was painting this, I’m not sure if it’s because the motions while painting are wider, and the strength, the pressure you put on it, is lighter, you don’t need to be as precise as when you are drawing, or if is because I’m getting better. 😂

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My wrist is still not fully recovered, but I needed to do something so I didn’t feel useless so I decided to stain the canvas, also my parents, and my grandma were around😂

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It’s been hard, not being able to work, even more now that I was looking forward to painting the vampires portrait and had some other projects to do. I’m trying to cope with it. The best I can admit that I’m feeling a little useless and frustrated, and the worst is not knowing when I’ll be fully recovered.

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A little update on my painting ideas

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Morning warmup

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Let’s begin

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Of course I had to start with Lestat

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A friend’s Oc

Also hjm Chibi

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I’ve been wanting to do this Interview with the Vampire painting since I’ve finished the book and I’ve been testing some ideas for an actual painting.

Wish me luck