let-me-in-your-room

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Ah, yes, the Prussia/Russian Empire paradox: every supposedly angst story has suspicious amounts of fluff and every supposedly fluffy story has suspicious amounts of angst

It might also be the ThinkingRobot paradox but that sounds less funky and more like I'm just trying to mock myself

Anyway, I'm locked in (lie) and will finish this goddamn short story or so help me god

It'll be easier once I'm finished with this part; literally every other part after this one has a clearer story structure and I have more inspiration for them; it's just that the character analysis for this part has me wanting to read but not write this thing

But anyway, we all need a bit of fluff

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I'm the biggest yapper in comment sections because if I received comments like mine, I'd legit start bawling my eyes out (in a good way)

PLEASE WRITE COMMENTS!! You do not need to write an essay if that is exhausting or scares you but we all thrive on it!! Kudos and bookmarks are always nice, of course, but feedback can make or break motivation

Normalise writing long unhinged comments on fics please!

Like throw all your thoughts aside. Leave kudos: yes. BUT! I want to know every little thought you had about my writing, every word you liked, every reaction I made you have! THROW IT AT ME PLEASE!!! People will be happy to receive this, they will remember and do it to others and they will be happy too! This is what keeps writers going so if you like their work, PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK! You will inspire others. Please do this! I believe in you!

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Prussia: I bring a sort of "I'm sorry you had to see that"-vibe to my panic attacks that make my loved ones question whether I think my pain is just an inconvenience to them.

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giving major Crime and Punishment vibes in this oneshot btw

ughhh, Russia being so obsessed with Prussia, he falls ill and becomes feverish; having hallucinations and odd dreams about the two of them

yes, this is related to something I'm writing

yes, it is canon

just, god, I'm gonna sound insane

RE wanting to be eaten after seeing Prussia kill Poland, knowing he would fully belong to him, the ultimate act of trust and love, literally cutting a piece out of himself to feed Prussia with it, they are both messy and crying, RE from pain, Prussia from the emotional turmoil, but neither stops

maybe this is what RE remembers when he dies, this moment of pure idolatry between them

who is the god and who is the devotee? who knows

Prussia as the god, consuming his devotee like RE is a sacrificial lamb, willingly being led to his own execution because there's nothing he is not willing to do for the one he worships

RE as the god, indoctrinating his devotee with every bite of flesh, immortalising himself via his own death, reuniting with the one who damned him in the first place

I'm sooooo normal about them

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ughhh, Russia being so obsessed with Prussia, he falls ill and becomes feverish; having hallucinations and odd dreams about the two of them

yes, this is related to something I'm writing

yes, it is canon

just, god, I'm gonna sound insane

RE wanting to be eaten after seeing Prussia kill Poland, knowing he would fully belong to him, the ultimate act of trust and love, literally cutting a piece out of himself to feed Prussia with it, they are both messy and crying, RE from pain, Prussia from the emotional turmoil, but neither stops

maybe this is what RE remembers when he dies, this moment of pure idolatry between them

who is the god and who is the devotee? who knows

Prussia as the god, consuming his devotee like RE is a sacrificial lamb, willingly being led to his own execution because there's nothing he is not willing to do for the one he worships

RE as the god, indoctrinating his devotee with every bite of flesh, immortalising himself via his own death, reuniting with the one who damned him in the first place

I'm sooooo normal about them

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this is RE talking about Prussia to like St. Petersburg, btw

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Honestly read this as craving and yeah, writing sure be feeling like craving

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new studying lifehack:

Write something I wanted to write anyway and put in details about my study subject because then I am forced to memorise the stuff I need to know for my exam because disappointing my ao3 readers is just as terrifying as disappointing my academic scores

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Woah, TO being a good father? I never thought I'd see the day!!

Here's me hoping that the quality won't drop

A little comic I made between Egon (State of the Teutonic Order) and Aras (Ducal Prussia)

I don't read comics often yet I do draw them... Anyways, I hope this is good.

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I wish to dream. Spread wings on this Earthly plane until the wind Drags me away and I am Free.

I wish to sleep. My body so heavy, It falls, falls deep into the aether, Breaks upon the shores until I'm Foam.

I wish to make sense. Of the world I was given, Laid upon my hands and Weary head so I must Sink.

I wish to feel. The colours swirling around Me in a storm of beauty. All along in Pain.

I wish to die. And when I don't wish, When I refuse to feel and live, Then, already, am I not Dead?

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Shameless self-promotion on my tumblr, even though I'm pretty sure my audience consists of the same people who already read this lmao

Anyway, writing is funny, gonna have to continue doing that, I fear

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I ain't a wimp when I get writers block I STRESS ABOUT IT FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT, and not to ChatGPT like a coward. I face writers block like a man, laying in bed hours crying.

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and y’know what? happy pride to all of us that use it/its pronouns, maybe i’m biased but we’re all so hot and cool and i love that for us

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Inconsequential Headcanons 1/?

I've been feeling weird about my writing, going from loving it to hating it to somewhere in the middle, wanting it more serious and then more light-hearted again (I blame the weather, university and fascism on principle and in no particular order)

So, stupid headcanon time!! I texted these to Cya ages ago, but the broader public must see them!! (/nsrs)

CW: this is about alcohol (mainly in a positive manner); also mentions of sex

type of alcohol CH like and how they act when drunk:

Bavaria enjoys his own beer but he actually enjoys wine more than beer, he's just too proud to admit it; he gets even flirtier than when sober, making it his mission to make everyone around him blush at least once; does not enjoy sexual things when drunk but likes getting attention

Brandenburg indulges sometimes, though he's mostly the designated driver; once video recorders are invented, he enables his friends to do stupid shit just so he can get it on video (this includes Prussia); people usually assume he is responsible when drunk but he really isn't; he becomes a worse enabler and is typically the one to come up with the stupid ideas

Prussia enjoys beer most, though he also enjoys harder alcohol, which he will drink occasionally; he is very particular about it being German beer, besides that he enjoys coffee with a shot of strong alcohol; he is a very affectionate drunk, getting touchy (consensually) and telling his friends/partners/family members that he loves them, he also gets giggly not because someone is being funny but because he can finally let loose; when he drinks a lot, he gets tired and finds someone to cuddle up to and fall asleep against (he finds it incredibly embarrassing the following morning)

Berlin likes shots and fruity cocktails most; as soon as he is even slightly tipsy, Berlin finds everything funny, literally unable to stop laughing; absolutely the person to start crying about stupid stuff too ("snakes cannot hug others because they don't have arms" type of stupid crying)

Königsberg holds her liquor best, she barely ever gets drunk enough to even feel it beyond getting tipsy, but if she does, she wants to dance; she just *needs* to move, usually also ropes her friends into it; can get sensual during dancing which is a great pair with Berlin's laughing because then he is very blushy while laughing (yes, Brandenburg has captured at least one of these moments on video)

GE especially enjoys sparkling wine because he enjoys the sensation in his mouth and on his tongue, he usually goes with the weaker alcoholic drinks (beer, wine, champagne); he becomes grumpy when drunk, wants to be left alone or only spend time with people he is closest to (mainly just AHE and Prussia), would probably not get drunk around his children, though if he were to, they'd be a part of the group he enjoys spending time with

extra bullet point for grumpy-drunk GE/affectionate-drunk Prussia, because GE is very receptive to it, usually refuses to let go of Prussia once they both get to that point (if this happens (very rarely), they typically fall asleep like this in the most uncomfortable position as well)

AE likes absinthe best, even though he does not hold his liquor well and gets drunk really quickly; he says it tastes good, most people assume it's for show/to boast; he gets loud, no matter his mood, AE has to be loud when he is drunk; he is usually a little whiny even when sober but this grows exponentially when AE gets drunk; if he is drunk on New Years' Eve, he will scream the countdown into the sky; if he's just tipsy and in a good mood, he'll start talking a lot, half of the rumours in Europe during his lifetime are spread because AE got tipsy and began spilling secrets to the closest person

Frankfurt/Main turns into his pre-revolution (the 1848 German one) self when drunk, becoming more confident and self-assured but it usually ends in him feeling much worse the following day, which is why he barely ever drinks alcohol (I've already made him a cocaine addict, might as well add an alcohol addiction /hj)

I have made this list before adding about a million more characters because of my newest story, so perhaps I'll do a second part for this topic in particular just to include more characters (mainly women, why were my stories like 90% men? smh), also gonna have to cut it short because my self-control of not adding angst is waning

additional headcanon I shamelessly stole from Cya about Russian Empire:

he mainly drinks chamomile infused vodka (she sent me the recipe but I have yet to make it (shame on me, I love vodka)); any other alcohol will barely change him but if he drinks this specific drink, RE becomes more subdued, rather quiet and more likely to apologise even for things that are not specifically his fault

adding on to that for subdued-drunk RE/affectionate-drunk Prussia: literally nobody believes how they act when drunk unless they are in the room with them because it is so unlike their public personalities

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Notice for my AU

woah, I'm making an actual tumblr post talking about something instead of writing a drabble, imagine that Anyway, this is a post for people who read my works on ao3 (ThinkingRobot, give me love, I need it), since I'll be editing my already published works

Bit of a backstory: Cya asked me, reasonably, about the plothole that affects mainly Rough Diamond, which is GE and Prussia being married despite both of them being men and homosexuality (and queerness in general) obviously being frowned upon during that time

I've been ignoring that plothole ever since I started writing this story because 1.) I didn't feel like dealing with homophobia since, as a queer person, I've grown tired of reading stories about it and 2.) I already had a plot that was pretty set in stone and adding one more element might have stopped me from writing altogether

Now, this is something that has been bugging me ever since; I'm a history nerd and though I obviously get stuff wrong, I try my very best to be historically as accurate as humanly possible (this is my special interest, I'm literally studying history)

I've had this silly headcanon/thought experiment/daydream for a while about Prussia pretending to be a woman (I describe him as having feminine features, he has long hair and he enjoys wearing dresses) and when Cya asked, my brain immediately returned to that headcanon

Obviously, this is a crack idea taken fully seriously but if you know anything about my writing, it's that I thrive on crack treated seriously, because this world is whimsical so why can't my stories be

Thinking about it and spitballing some ideas how this would work and I was instantly hooked, so to delete one plot issue of making one (1) country in 19th century Europe oddly queerfriendly, I decided to make Prussia just pretend to be a woman for the public (yes, I did have to reintroduce homophobia for the sake of realism; yes, this might still not be fully realistic but then again neither are wings and immortal countries)

Some things on how this would work (I'm tired of playing all these things close to my chest, so some spoilers after this point):

Prussia has a human lover when he is still rather young and they get found out so his human lover is killed (yes, this is inspired by Friedrich the Great and Hans Hermann von Katte (I cried when I first read about them))

this teaches him that homosexuality = bad

Prussia already enjoys having long hair and wearing dresses, though he is not allowed to have either until he joins Brandenburg in 1618

his father, Teutonic Order, dies in the Thirty Years' War and during the war, Prussia establishes himself as a woman (don't worry, I have some works planned for this time period and this will be explored in detail)

Prussia realises that not only is it practical since he can openly be in relationships but also that he feels comfortable like this

Prussia is still a man, considers himself a man and will be referred to as a man; he does not want to be a woman but he finds freedom in feminine self-expression, this is me enjoying to explore genderqueerness or nonconformity, not a trans story; I have other trans characters who will get their spotlight

If you have questions, feel free to ask, though beware that my answers might vary from actual explanations and explorations of my AU to a simple "I don't know"; this is not a new idea but until today I didn't consider it further than "wouldn't it be funny..." so I'm still fleshing things out

other than that, I'll try to get the editing done in the following week so I can focus back on my other works

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I'VE BEEN SAYING

Do you ever think about how much bloodshed could have been prevented throughout history if male rulers were not homophobic and simply married their rivals to solve territorial disputes and religious schisms

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y'know, I probably should have

have you ever considered