lex-again

[lex-again]

Hold me close and hold me fast

This magic spell you cast

This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs

And though I close my eyes

I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart

I'm in a world apart

A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels sing from above

Everyday words seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be la vie en rose

[lex-again]

second chances (short para, co-written with Casey)

mentions @ccallahann

Cameron: Displeasure oozed from each perfectly arched feature, the sharp curvature of his spine slumping uncomfortably against the sturdy headboard of Lexus’ bed as he fought off a scowl. Confusion hardened tense features, stubborn frown flickering. Casey’s name tasted like gasoline, bitter lighter fluid coating the back of Cameron’s throat in disgust. To torture him, sometimes Lexus made him say it. “Casey,” The 29 year-old grunted, “You guys…hang out?”

Lexus: She eyed her fiancé carefully, mindful to keep her expression neutral so as to ensure this was a non-issue. Shrugging her shoulders, she replied casually — as if she were talking about the weather, though the constant thumping of her heart said otherwise. “Yeah,” Lex hummed, “Pretty much. I mean, I don’t know. I’m tired of being angry all the time, y’know? It was months ago. It’s easier to let go. And he’s actually kinda fun, Cam. I always thought you guys were — I don’t know, like — ‘cut from the same cloth’ or whatever. You’re similar, at least in your hobbies.”

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[lex-again]

ccallahann​:

Mornings were hell. The clock ticked on without a care in the world, the rest of the day following along without an ounce of regard for the sleep-deprived man that barely acted human before noon. A sight to behold as he disregarded the line to the coffee machine, the bed head untouched by a brush and dark circles stressing bloodshot eyes. The breakfast routine went by in a blur, two separate cups of coffee clutched in shaky hands to hide the effects of a terrible night. Ignorance overruled everything else. Pointed glares went unnoticed, and he regarded attempts at a good morning cheer with a snort, leading only to more murmurs that he’d look back on with anger and resentment.

The desire to escape the hubbub was real, but the ache in his bones assured it was nothing but momentary dreams; To find a corner to hide in until everything calmed down. A wistful sigh escaped tarred lungs as soon as the blonde found a chair to slouch down on. A slow blink turned into a scan of the environment, the stabbing pain of light in dry eyes narrowing them into a squint. To have legs carry him somewhere quieter, more calm was nothing surprising; Seeing Lex there was. Though no emotion was betrayed through the blank, weary blue, an attempt at a smile lasted only for a second before falling back into a neutral scowl, a greeting coming in the form of a lifted chin before it hid behind the rim of the coffee mug.

Mischief crept over closer in the form of Casey Callahan, 6′1″ wrapped in a tattered leather jacket. His accent — unfamiliar to her Bostonian ears — easily enchanted any passersby, Lexus Hale among them. Still, his most enticing quality? Casey played her game. 

Its rules weren’t for the faint of heart: no questions, no hesitation and no telling. First one to object loses. So far, months into this song and dance, Casey continued to dance to the beat of their chaotic drum. Settling beside her, his familiar scowl brought forth her signature smirk from behind the shadows of a perfectly manicured hand. Wordlessly, the raven-haired girl slid the flask she’d been hiding towards him, scratching the table as it went...and so the game began. 

“Casey Callahan, your timing’s impeccable.” She gushed, tone mocking and playful despite the sincerity of the statement. Chocolate brown hues, now liquid gold with morning’s first light, found groggy azure orbs. Eagerly, Lexus awaited for even the slightest change in his expression, something congratulatory for such a perfect find. Anticipation and excitement surged deep within, electricity buzzing each delicate string of nerves before she slid Cameron’s hip flask towards him. “And before you say anything— why yes, I am doing the Lord’s work. No need to thank me.” Though the implication was clear: join me. 

[lex-again]

[lex-again]

any way to distract and sedate

adding shadows to the walls of the cave

[lex-again]

Something Isn’t Right || Lexus OPEN

Nursing her fourth cup of coffee, Lexus passively remarked on the absence of electricity surging within her bones. The vacancy hadn’t lasted long, abject apathy burrowing deeper into the cozy confines of her chest with each precious sip. It was easier this way, allowing worry’s impressive weight to slip off slender shoulders as hot coffee alleviated the gentle chill of morning. Thoughts of Boston nearly chased away, mahogany orbs could settle on the horizon, blush hues giving way to gold amber light. 

When living with over thirty people, peace and quiet were understandably hard to come by and impossibly short-lived. The same could be said for Lexus’ solitude, but the intruder didn’t sully her mood. Eyes unmoving, the other was an afterthought — one she refused to address until her cup ran empty. Savoring the final sip of bittersweet liquid, long black hair was swept over her shoulder upon finally regarding her companion, gaze lingering. Smiling secretly, as if to herself, the 22-year-old laughed behind manicured fingertips, dark eyes glimmering playfully as she waited for silence to be broken. 

[lex-again]

wild

[lex-again]

ballerinabirdie​:

  A year, now that little detail captured the dancer’s attention. Her newest roommate had definitely seemed comfortable with her surroundings when she came in, and it certainly made more sense after finding out just how long she’d been around. Birdie could only surmise that her fiancé was a patient as well, given away by the ‘we’ that she’d mentioned, and fitting that piece of the puzzle in gave way to the conclusion that Lexus was definitely not a newcomer of any kind, more along the lines of a veteran. If she’d been engaged for nearly a year, it seemed probable that she’d been around for quite awhile before that. She would be comfortable with the grounds, familiar, great qualities to make an acquaintance with. 

“Oh, him.” It was a simple reaction, the young girl blinking in surprise at the familiar face, “I met him earlier actually, hid him in a storage closet.” It sounded even stranger out loud than it did in the moment, and she immediately jumped back in to clarify, “I think he was running from security or something like that.” Blonde tresses moved as she shook her head slightly, moving along from the entirely weird first meeting, “Regardless, congratulations. That must be so exciting for the two of you.”

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Birdie’s words gave way to surprise in all the wrong ways, muted and understated. Lexus could only take satisfaction in the blond’s few blinks of surprise, adjusting to the reality silently and without intrigue. Dark fear began to creep down Lex’s spine, her worst fear seemingly solidified: holy shit, she’s boring. With no clear exit in sight until the guards preformed their usual bed checks, Lexus realized with sharp permanence that she was stuck, trapped in gilded cage without hope of liberation.

Politely, she offered a laugh, disingenuous and robotic as her mind lingered on fruitless escape attempts. “That’s Cameron,” Came her voice from far away, twisting the ring on her finger as the cogs of her mind continued to turn. Fucking bed check. 

Hope returned with a bang, adrenaline thudding against her chest at the mere mention of the garden. Little did Birdie know midsummer nights in the garden were Lexus’ weakness, an excursion she tortured Cameron with daily. Eyes bright, faith restored, the 22-year-old lurched forward. “Oh, we’ll be out of sight alright.” She promised, fiendish smile upturning her lips. “Thank God you’re not boring.” With a big sigh, Lexus flopped back onto her bed, “Good lord, you really had me going there for a minute! Any minute now, the other girls’ll come back and then the guards’ll check we’re in bed for curfew. Just sit back, pretend to be asleep and follow me, okay?” 

Like magic, the door handle clicked, opening to reveal the remaining two roommates in question. With quick greeting exchanged, Lexus slipped into her pajamas and under the covers. As darkness befell the room, electricity surged deep within her veins, heart thumping as the seconds ticked by. Finally, the door squeaked open and then closed, signaling the end of her incarceration. 

“Birdie,” Lex whispered from the shadows, “Let’s go.”

[lex-again]

But what do you call it when you draw energy from the moon? When faded pearlescent glow ignites your soul and you part your lips to howl?

[lex-again]

ballerinabirdie​:

 The name fell so casually from the woman’s lips, but Birdie had to hold back the distaste from showing on her expression.  It was stupid, incredible so really, how hearing that name elicited a nearly physical reaction from her, every part of her loathing the sound. Lexus was absolutely right when she said that it wasn’t so bad, it was a beautiful name. It wasn’t as though she’d been given a name that nobody could pronounce, or one that couldn’t be found on a keychain, it was perfectly ordinary. Timeless, classic, traditional, exactly what her parents had hoped she would be. 

God, she hated it. 

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I just like the look of them. 

Well there goes that bonding opportunity, Lexus huffed a laugh through her nose. Still, she appreciated the girl’s honesty. The compliment was nice, too, kind enough to show that Birdie was at least trying — which was more than Lex could say regarding her other roommates. Or yourself, her pesky inner conscious added. “We’re alright,” She admitted with a smile, leaning against her pillows. “Uh...almost a year now...? Yeah, a year on Christmas Eve. Time totally flew by, I kinda thought we’d be outta here by now, but...” Lexus shrugged as if to say we’re working on it. “That’s him, by the way, if you were curious.” Upon pointing to the picture hanging on her wall, ember eyes glanced at the other, eager to judge Birdie’s reaction. If she’d met Cameron, a reaction would be sure to follow. Her fiancé wasn’t the forgettable type, he always left an impression. 

Shifting her weight to level her full gaze towards her fellow green patient, Lexus sighed. Small talk felt like the sixth circle of hell, unfathomable punishment for misdeeds unbeknownst to her. “Listen,” She implored as truth began to fall freely from red lips, “If you promise not to narc on me when I sneak into my fiancé’s room every night, I’ll show you how to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. Deal?” 

[lex-again]

cameron-malkin​:

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Misdeed clung to them like a second skin, something so entirely wrong about this setting. Gone were the days of single bedrooms, the fear of intrusion now adding to the chaos Lexus delightfully embraced. Polished fingertips trailed down Cameron’s chest, nerves buzzing as she came in contact with his sculpted form. She was her own worst enemy, moving against his hips in a fruitless attempt to spark the flame deep inside. Flung onto the bed, gentle laughter escaped her lips until mahogany hues caught sight of his Adonis body, perfectly sculpted muscles bulging as he shed his clothes. One taste was not enough, insistent fingertips pushing up the fabric Cameron’s shirt until he was fully naked. Her mouth went slack, dry with need as she gazed at him.

A lascivious feeling washed over her as azure hues grew pleading. “Yes,” She moaned, squirming beneath him as she felt his erection come in contact with her bare skin. Skilled fingertips skimmed over the most tender parts of her body, teasing and prodding at her until finally slipping a finger inside her upon Lexus’ whispered plea. Brown eyes shot open, locking with blue as a sharp moan broke free. Cameron’s finger pressed deeper, exploring her depths as he beckons her closer. It was torture, toes curling and uncurling as her bottom lip found her teeth. He was merciless, lips parting to take her nipple in his mouth, tongue licking and swirling as his finger gently pushed in and out.

[lex-again]

      throw me in a landfill                     don’t think about the c o n s e q u e n c e s               throw me in the dirt pit                               don’t think about the c h o i c e s that you make                           throw me in the water                                            don’t think about the s p l a s h I will create                                        leave me at the altar                                                       knowing all the things you just e s c a p e d

[lex-again]

ballerinabirdie​:

 There was something so entirely unsettling when it came to the concept of roommates, something that had put Birdie on edge the moment her guide showed her the young lady’s new home for the next few months. By no means had she expected private bedrooms, this wasn’t her first trip to an inpatient facility. They wanted to “encourage socializing” and “offer a support system,” which was psychiatric phrasing for “you can’t be trusted to be left alone.” It was meant to inspire accountability, someone to run and tattle on you if you didn’t follow the rules. She could still remember her roommate from the last time, Natalie, and how little they had cared for the whole accountability business. 

Back then, she’d had one roommate, so naturally, seeing four beds when she stepped inside had been a little bit surprising. As she’d sat for a minute, that surprise had quickly shifted into something closer to discomfort, and from there it was a slippery slope to something along the lines of anxiety. The bedroom seemed to be the one place that was constantly out of staff member’s sights, a little bit of privacy amongst everything, but three roommates made it fairly unlikely that she’d ever get the chance to be alone. Three pairs of scrutinizing eyes, people who would see her first thing in the morning when her hair was a mess and she didn’t have any concealer on, people who would watch her take a minute to steady herself when dizziness set in as she stood for the first time of the day.

Quite frankly, she was terrified. Yet, as roommates came and went she hadn’t let it show, full of polite introductions and candy sweet smiles, though until that moment, she’d only met two of them. Birdie had been standing on top of her mattress when she heard the door swing open, pinning the last photo she’d brought to the wire of the fairy lights before glancing in the direction the new voice came from. The unfamiliar person all but screamed nonchalant, likely having seen a hundred new girls come and go, unbothered and almost bored, perhaps? Not the type that she typically found herself connecting with, but if they would be stuck together for however long, Birdie was definitely going to try. 

“Birdie,” she chimed in response, settling herself back down to sitting cross legged on the mattress, “Well, Briana, but nobody calls me that besides my parents.” A childish nickname, her father had called it, hence why she’d insisted so adamantly on being addressed by it. “It’s nice to meet you.” God, she hated small talk. Pointless pleasantries passed back and forth, it was all so dull, but what else was there to say?

The girl’s voice was chipper, artificially sweet, but the tone was familiar. It made Lexus think about when she first arrived, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, full of cotton candy introductions and pearly white smiles. Boston had taken that from her, the energy it required never quite replenishing since their fateful trip back to home.

Introspection long since abandoned, Lexus instead propped herself on her elbows, peeking one eye open to get a look at the newcomer, curiosity insatiable as per usual. Birdie — well, Briana, but Birdie — had long blond hair Lexus would have been envious of when she was younger. Blonds were more popular, or at least it felt that way back in grade school.

“Likewise,” She replied, though Lexus wondered, was it? The circumstances were nothing if not unfortunate, but that’s how niceties were. They didn’t have to make sense, they just had to feel good, reassure those participating they were doing the right thing. Lexus nearly retched at the thought. The “right thing” had flown out the window a long time ago.

“Briana ain’t so bad, better than Lexie — which I hate and you cannot call me because it’s illegal in all fifty states, unbeknownst to my parents. Lex works, though, if you feel the need.” Okay, she really was going to throw up. Boston hit too close to home. Clutching her Lady stuffed animal close to her chest, Lexus savored the remnants of Cameron’s woodsy cologne that clung to its fur in a last ditch effort to push her parents from her mind.

“So, you like polaroids?” Lame, but at least it was a safer topic, no way to venture back towards memories she’d rather not think about. “I have a couple too, I used to hang them but my fiancé and I ended up swapping art. He got my polaroids, I got his drawings.” As if to make her point, a red fingernail gestured towards her photo before sitting up to kick off her white sneakers.

[lex-again]

and they were roommates || Briana & Lexus

It was no secret Lexus hated living on the green floor. While the extra amenities were — at times —  useful, she didn’t feel like she really gained anything. Cameron’s sleuthing had unlocked all of Thornewood, ripe for the taking, nearly a year ago. More fun was to be had elsewhere, outside the cavernous halls of the Forrester’s ancestral home. 

The roommate situation made life on the green floor intolerable for only child Lexus Hale. Four girls, one room, did no one see a problem with this? If not overcrowding, at the very least a fire hazard? The revolving door of roommates made this process maddening, leaving her to long for the days she and Cameron lived on the red floor. Sure, people thought she was crazy, but private bedrooms and bathrooms were far more important than perceived sanity...right?

While she’d successfully avoided the room for most of the day, night eventually fell and bed-checks would be done soon, subsequently thwarting her plans should she not be found in bed. Sneaking out to see Cameron would have to wait, Lexus realized with bone-crushing finality. Groaning, the 22-year-old threw open the bedroom door. Please don’t be boring, please don’t be boring. 

“So...” She said, not bothering to look around the room before flopping onto her bed. “You’re new? Hi, I’m observant, but you can just call me Lexus.”

@ballerinabirdie

[lex-again]

Lexus’ green bedroom (Summer 2020): 

[lex-again]

cameron-malkin​:

Her innocence was his kryptonite, the terror in chocolate brown hues over something as trivial as a birthday wish effortlessly endearing. Free hand running through silky black tresses, gentle fingertips nuzzled the side of her face before resting her jaw in his hand. Softly, Cameron reminded her, “I already got everything I wanted.”

The sentiment, though sweet, didn’t dispel the lust from stormy blue hues as they admired Lex’s body. Was she wearing new lingerie? Groaning, both man an beast made peace with one another, the war at a temporary stand-still as Lexus captured the attention of them both. Electricity surged within him, well aware she hung on his every word, temptation written over her features as she leaned into his touch.

“Now that’s an awfully goo thing for my little rebel to do,” He teased, voice rough. “Where’s the fun in that?” With a semblance of a grin lingering on his lips, the yellow patient held onto his offer, chocolate dripping from he pad of his thumb as he waited for full red lips to voice her request.

Held captive by his burning touch, she pursued him the way Icarus pursued the sun — voraciously and without caution.

Wax heart melting, the 22-year-old threatened to fell apart at his mere offering, wanting painfully twisting itself into knots deep inside her. Eyes locking onto Cameron’s cerulean hues, Lexus eagerly played into his game, knowing exactly what he wanted. 

“Feed it to me,” She offered, voice timid as her heart pounded against its cage. Every bone ached to be touched by expert fingertips, as if crafted specifically to satisfy the burning desire that set her body aflame with one look from sapphire orbs dark with lust. 

A gentle moan fell uninvited from parted lips, the sweet taste of chocolate filling her mouth as she sucked his thumb. Pushing the digit deeper, a wave of pleasure washed down her spine as she wrestled against yet another unwelcomed whine, body rushing towards his despite her eagerness to savor this moment’s silence. 

[lex-again]

cameron-malkin​:

Cameron wasn’t sure what to expect upon returning to his room, envisioning an elaborate surprise birthday party he’d be forced to suffer through or a million stuffed teddies and roses dominating his side of his shared bedroom —  anything extravagant that screamed Lexus Hale is in charge of a birthday — but as tattooed hands pushed against the handle and the click of the door releasing filled the quiet hallway, crystalline hues fell to a scene straight from his dreams. Leaning against the bed in all her glory, his scantily clad fiancée held a cupcake. Hair falling sweetly over her shoulder in carefully crafted waves, her chocolate brown eyes melted him. Eyeing his blushing bride, a wicked grin flashed across features previously fraught with annoyance. Snorting his amusement, an incredulous chuckle fell from his lips. “Oh, baby.” He cooed, lust-filled hues trailing down the enticing curves of her body, voice thick with need.

Wrenching himself from indecent daydreams, Cameron wasted no time in eliminating the distance between them. Mouth dry, one hand found her exposed hip, fingers pressing delicately into velvety skin as his hand slowly traveled towards her backside before giving it a possessive squeeze. Eyes wide, untapped energy swirled within him as endless possibilities stood before him  — wrapped in sexy lingerie, no less. “You’re so sexy.”

Cameron blew out the candle impatiently, hands desperate to close the space between him and his heart’s desire. One finger dipped into the frosting covered cupcake, scooping up a generous helping, passively admiring her failed attempt at decorating. “Did you try it?” He inquired, voice dripping with indecent metaphor as his eyes remained glued to her mahogany hues.

As cerulean hues traced the contours of her body, mumurred apologies fell by the wayside, his affirmation allowing confidence to bloom as she stood before him. The faint chuckle of disbelief emboldened her, a delicate smile washing over full lips. Though Cameron preferred to think of himself as stoic, Lexus knew better: he wore happiness well, throwing desire into the heady mix was cruel, reducing her a swooning mess as her fiance drew closer. Purpose drove him forward, the wolfish smile on his lips darkly possessive.

Eyes lingering on the smile she knew well, shockwaves of desire shot up her shins and exploded throughout her body as Cameron closed the gap between them. Mumurred compliments reddened the hue of her crimson cheeks, marooned by his kindness. Awoken from the haze of his woodsy cologne, equal parts intoxicating and tantalizing, Lexus squeaked in protest as he blew out the candle. “You didn’t make a wish!”

Still, her smirk matched his own, the implication of his words hanging heavily in the air as his hands continued to explore her body. Arching her back into his touch, expert fingertips traced the contours of her hips, serving only to fan the flames of desire that pooled between her legs. “No,” She finally answered, voice level despite anticipation rising in her bones. “I was waiting for you.”