libbyscribbles

[libbyscribbles]

hi tumblr dot com this is an interest check to see if anyone's interested in buying handmade pride earrings. i'm looking into starting a ko-fi shop to sell these and hopefully help with my expenses a little during my last couple semesters of college.

i can make earrings for pretty much any flag (the ones in the picture are the sunset aroace flag) as long as i can find beads in the right colors. all of the earrings are clip-ons, because that's what i wear. i have a hard time finding clip-on earrings that i like, so i decided to start making them :]

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HUGE NEWS! MERCH DROP! There’s still time to get QLL Swag for your pride plans this month, and hey, enjoy them for the rest of the summer too!

We’ve got a black ball cap hat with the QLL logo on it and a navy blue tank top with the words “READ TRANS BOOKS” in our pinkpunk lettering. Both are $24.99 and all proceeds go back to QLL and back into keeping the library running. And, as usual, these are union made in the USA by Worx!

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I printed out a copy of the Field Guide to Pride Flags on photo paper, then stuck them together with a ring.

It feels like a set of identification cards that would be standard equipment for any researcher studying the habits of queers in the wild. They'd buy a copy in college and keep it in their field pack for years. It would get all battered and torn, but they'll never, ever replace it because the newer edition changed the typeface and they hate it.

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Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities

Only developing ‘attraction’ to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)

Picking a guy at random to be ‘attracted’ to

Choosing to be ‘attracted’ to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but being able to deliberately flip your attraction on like a switch—that’s not how real attraction usually works and it might be a sign it’s not actual attraction

Having such high standards that literally no real life human guy meets them—and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them

Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way (losing interest when a long-haired or androgynous guy cuts off his hair or grows a beard is common). NOTE: this alone doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to men! Lots of people are only attracted to gnc men, for real. But are you only interested in men you can kinda see as a woman?

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with

Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them

Reading a desire to be seen as attractive to men (therefore proving your value in a culture that treats female beauty as our primary value) as attraction to them

Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

Feeling anxious and put on the spot any time you interact with any guy who could conceivably be interested in you, even if he doesn’t make a move

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

(Note: a desire to have an equitable and feminist relationship doesn’t count. Not being able to imagine having a real life relationship with a man does.)

Being repulsed by the dynamics of all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness and deep understanding of each other

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Only wanting online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless

After a breakup, always missing the status of Having a Boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted

OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted/appreciated/valued but feeling like following through is a chore

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance

Only having sex with men that’s about fulfilling their fantasies or pleasing them

Spending the whole time making sure you look or sound hot and not really thinking about what feels good

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and that you’re crying etc for no reason)

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women

Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else

Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)

Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend

Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her—love you may read as platonic

Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent

Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate

Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”

When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”

Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people

Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)

Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men, and being more careful not to look than they are

Spending a lot of time looking at women and appreciating/being curious about their bodies

Being really curious about women who defy gender roles in some way, finding defying gender roles in dress, behaviour, styling etc really appealing and cool

The 'straight’ version of you

Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media

Thinking you’re just a super intense feminist for genuinely thinking women are amazing and having an overwhelming preference for their company

Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”/“fashion goals”

Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men

Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic

Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+

Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman

Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman

Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position

Really focusing on the women in het porn

Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’

Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian

Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy

Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformity) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian

Being dysphoric about the parts of you that straight men think mean your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you

Wishing straight people and/or men didn’t parse you as a woman, but being totally comfortable with the idea of other women (or only other sapphics) seeing you as one of them

Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty or uncomfortable/put on the spot trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian

Knowing you’re gay, but feeling discomfort, obligation, fear, disinterest, self-objectification, etc. when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man

Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be

Feeling alienated from all the male-gazey unrealistic depictions of lesbians as only being young thin rich white cis abled conventionally attractive gender conforming straight actresses in tv/movies/porn and thinking that alienation means you can’t be gay

Discovering that your type is gnc women or women who share your underrepresented demographic and that’s why you’re not really attracted to celebrities

Not feeling attracted to straight women but suddenly having lots of crushes when you know for sure certain women are sapphic

Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy

Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly

Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake

Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of/lack of interest in any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet—if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list—you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

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The maverique pride flag is really fruity

Redbubble, Threadless

Looking for a collection of pride flags year round? Check out my Coffee Table Book of Pride Flags full of fun queer art here!

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Zine: Aro-Ace coded characters 🦔

That’s my opiniooooon

1. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

2. Jo March (Little Women)

3. Alice Kingsleigh (Alice in Wonderland)

4. Wednesday Addams (Wednesday)

5. Barbie (Barbie)

6. Bruno Madrigal (Encanto)

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Would you be willing to make LGBTQ+ birds, too? No pressure!

LGBT (loon, gannet, booby, toucan)

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Back up but with some revisions.

Working on not deleting things randomly.

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Hey, I finally figured out how to make the intersex flag in the crescent moon design!!!

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In those heavy days in June,

When love became an act of defiance.

(A landscape piece combining the colours of my pride flags.)

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It's Aromantic Visibility Day!

The following previously featured books are still free and have aromantic characters:

@aroworlds has written many, many stories with aromantic protagonists. Most of hir characters are allo-aro, with a wide variety of sexual orientations. Hir website is here: https://aroworlds.com/fiction/

Unbury the Bones by Coyote J.M. Edwards - aromantic protagonist, sexuality not specified

Elite Hunter by Alexandra Gardener - aroace protagonist

Demon King's Gardener series by Rori Thornton - two aroace protagonists in an eventual romantic and sexual relationship

I'll be posting some free books with aromantic characters today to celebrate. However, since it's also Pride month and there's still a lot of limited-time free books, I'll also be posting some non-aromantic books that will no longer be free soon.

I'll tag today's aromantic books with #aromantic books, like usual. That's also a great tag to look through to find other books with aro characters!

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red nebula: the secret third thing by nebula and red

A 54-page zine (excluding covers) by two queer friends (red & nebula) about labels, relationships, and breaking the platonic/romantic binary. Files include a readable PDF, a printable PDF (double-sided for a quarter US letter size zine), and a text only txt file. The cover is in color and the inside is in black and white.

Promotion length: Permanently free/pay what you can

Markets available: itch.io

Link to zine: https://nebulagalaxy.itch.io/red-nebula-1

[libbyscribbles]

Happy Pride Month! Today i offer you: aspec knights. Choose your fighter.

I also had idea for anattractional monarch but i never finished it

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Pride Month Book Recommendations!

A book a day recommendations from a variety of genres and topics! Below are 30 of my favorite fiction and nonfiction queer books. This is by far not a complete list but I tried to pull from some that I haven't seen recommended as much. Happy pride month and happy reading!

Fiction

Biography of X - Catherine Lacey*

The Great Believers - Rebecca Makkai

Martyr! - Kaveh Akbar*

The Rachel Incident - Caroline O'Donoghue

The Air You Breathe - Frances de Pontes Peebles

Dogs of Summer - Andrea Abreu*

Swimming in the Dark - Tomasz Jedrowski*

Monstrillio - Gerardo Samano Cordova*

Belladonna - Anbara Salam

Written on the Body - Jeanette Winterson

The Black Flamingo - Dean Atta*

Girl Meets Boy - Ali Smith*

Loveless - Alice Oseman

This is How You Lose the Time War - Max Gladstone, Amal El-Mohtar*

Valid: Dystopian Autofiction - Chris Bergeron*

Nonfiction

Let the Record Show: A Political History of ACT UP New York, 1987-1993 - Sarah Schulman*

The Other Pandemic: An AIDS Memoir - Lynn Curlee*

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender - Kit Heyam*

The Transgender Issue: Trans Justice is Justice for All - Shon Faye*

A Short History of Trans Misogyny - Jules Gill-Peterson*

Who's Afraid of Gender? - Judith Butler*

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex - Angela Chen*

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex Obsessed Culture - Sherronda J. Brown*

Hijab Bitch Blues - Lamya H*

The Argonauts - Maggie Nelson*

Gender Queer - Maia Kobabe*

Everybody: A Book About Freedom - Olivia Laing

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches - Audre Lorde*

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures - Sabrina Imbler*

Girls Can Kiss Now - Jill Gutowitz*

*These books are all available through the Queer Liberation Library (@queerliblib).

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while megacorporations profit off of exploitation of queer people and using pride flags for their tshirts and mugs, the creator of the lesbian flag, emily gwen, cant afford basic necessities and has to rely off of donations

if you have something to spare or can share, please do so

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Aro Books For Pride

Something I've noticed through the years, is that straight and queer people alike often have a tendency to forget about a specific queer identity: aromanticism.

Sometimes it's misunderstood, sometimes it's confused with asexuality, and sometimes it's ignored and/or erased.

This pride month, 23 authors have come together to gather their works and offer them at a discounted price to celebrate aromantic representation from all over the spectrum.

Whether it's to read them during pride month or the rest of the year, by buying this bundle you can get yourself tons of books while also  supporting indie authors directly during a time when every little bit of support and community counts more than anything.

Get 23 books for $15, or get all 36 books for $20.

NOTE: this is a bundle that also incudes 18+ content intended for an adult audience.

If this is your first time hearing of the term aromanticism, or if you've heard about it before but are confused about what exactly it is and/or how it differs from asexuality, here's lots of cool resources (and also, my own beginner guide I made some time ago).

[libbyscribbles]

equinox here! i wanted to make a masterpost for my zines! if you haven't checked them out already, we write zines about queer history with some resources and statistics within, as well as anecdotes from my 32 years being a genderqueer transsexual butch dyke. i am also intersex and speak about my experience with medical intersexism and prejudice toward androgynous and gender vague people.

if you are interested, the help would go a long way, as i deal with psoriatic arthritis, hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, degenerative disc disease, GI issues, schizophrenia, DID and other health issues. i'm currently applying for disability but it takes quite a while to get approved in the US. all proceeds go towards my monthly rent, bills, and necessities. thank you for your support!