lifeofleaaa

[lifeofleaaa]

From My Heart To Yours

I am sorry. I was acting like an ass. Im sorry for being insensitive. I truly love y’all so much. I swear to god i be meaning well. I’m not the most structured when i start talking and that has been a blessing and curse. I’ve grown too comfortable with viewing my supporters as my bestie that I can freely vent to with no repercussions. I feel the need to protect people that I feel are genuinely good people. If you know me, you know I speak on what’s unjust in MY mind. But it doesn’t matter if ultimately my opinion is perceived as toxic and ignorant and harmful. I made it very clear who specifically I was talking about but Carry on with your misconstrued judgement of me. My heart is in the right place and I can only pray you’ll one day see that. I see what’s being said and I feel the pain of those I genuinely I hurt and I’m sorry. I realize I need to stfu and stay offline. It’s so mentally draining trying to do good and it comes out completely detrimental. I’m sorry for triggering people and I’m sorry if I caused any trauma. Im sorry for victim shaming, swear that wasn’t my intent. I repeat that WAS NOT my intent. I’m learning how to deal with my feelings in private like most people in music. You see there is no room for growth in this industry publicly it is best to find your way in private. To have healthy and productive  conversations in private. I shouldn’t be aimlessly figuring it out in front of y’all. I was speaking on a very sensitive topic and I failed to facilitate sensitively, intelligently and healthily. I impulsively spiraled cause I was sick of seeing the distasteful shade especially at such a terrible and sad time towards someone I know is good person. With that said I wasn’t trying to discredit other people and their truths and opinions. Also I don’t need black men to stick up for me in order to do what I know is right in my heart and that’s speak up if I feel people are being distasteful towards them. Same goes for black women especially! everything I do is for black girl magic, glory, unity and our greatness. I INNATELY love on my people and don’t need a specific reason to look out but ultimately I want to be better and do it better. I want to grow. I want to be a light. I want to be enlightened. I’m not out here trying to protect toxic individuals. That’s not what I believe i did. My opinion, though filled with disarray came from a place of love and empathy and sadness. But my delivery was harmful. I shouldn’t have disrespected anyone in trying to communicate my feelings. Honestly I should’ve just ate my food and booked a therapy session. I love you genuinely. I’m excited to leave social media for good. I’m excited for true self love, healing, understanding and peace. To all the people who checked me from a place of love, I love you forever and I hear you and I deeply empathize more than you’ll ever know. I would love to keep the conversation going in real life. Don’t want to move in this world hurting people. Thank you for your constructive criticism. Thanks for checking me. IG live it’s been a fun ride sweet angel baby cakes, but our mental peace is most important so I’m out <3

- Ari Lennox

[lifeofleaaa]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) dir. Michel Gondry

[lifeofleaaa]

Eartha Kitt, Robin Givens, Grace Jones, Eddie Murphy and Halle Berry on the set of Boomerang (1992) 

[lifeofleaaa]

TBT: Loretta Devine, Sheryl Lee Ralph, and Deborah Burrell of Broadway’s Original ‘Dreamgirls’ Cast

[lifeofleaaa]

Kinda New, Kinda Not

Hi, I’m Lea. How does this tumblr stuff even work? I kinda understand how tumblr work in a nutshell but how do I interact with others on here?

[lifeofleaaa]

Remembering Audrey Hepburn on her 90th Birthday ✨🎂 ✨🎁🌹💋

[lifeofleaaa]

write poetry. for yourself, not for others. write about how your eyes look in the sun, write about how the birthmark on your left thigh. compare your laugh to sunshowers and your anger to thunderstorms. take a bath. a long one. light candles and use the bath bomb you’ve been saving for a rainy day. watch the colours it paints in the water, think about how they look like the sunset from that one afternoon. run your fingers along your body. memorise every curve and dimple. get to know the vessel that carries you. pick up the instrument that’s been collecting dust in the corner of your room. play a couple notes. relearn the very first song you were taught. breathe your worries into the noise, let the sound drown out the rushing in your skull. buy some shitty watercolours. paint something. it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be there. paint your first memory. paint what you think will be your last. burn it. repaint it as something sweeter. repaint it as how you’d die if your life was full of honey. wake up early and get on a train. get on another one. don’t look at the destinations. get off when it feels right. explore. sit in the café. order a drink you haven’t tried before. sell your old clothes. sell the ones that don’t feel like you anymore, shed them like snakeskin. find them a new home. use the money to buy a nice journal and a candy bar. write in the journal when you feel the aching come back, when you feel it creeping into your bones like old dust. eat the candy bar. you deserve it. go through your contacts. delete the numbers of anyone you haven’t spoken to in a year. if you’d like to speak to them, text them. if the conversation brings you pain, leave it. ask the person you love the most for song recommendations. make a new playlist. write the next chapter of your life to that tune. - and when you have done all these things, you will be ready

[lifeofleaaa]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[lifeofleaaa]

This is my original account & post 😭

Manifest Destiny Jones

A “cannibalistic” teen who would rather debate the whole meaning of life than to fight for her own freedom.