lightofdaeki

[lightofdaeki]

This series shaped my adolescence.

Day 26: JOMPBPC: Best World Building

I absolutely love the world of the Old Kingdom series by, master story-teller, Garth nix! 💕

[lightofdaeki]

[lightofdaeki]

Polyamory is not about having multiple partners at the same time, it was never about that. Because each person can be different, we can be asexual, having only platonic love, having a relationship with only one people, or something casual, etc. It's about all kinds of love being valid, it's about True Love (literally spiritual love, beyond the body), healthy and respectful. Respecting the feelings of your partner, having your feelings validated and respected.

Freedom with conscience, where you both know, you can go and return with a soft heart, where nothing will change between you, because trust, love and respect will always prevail. It's not that simple, especially in the society we live in, it's hard to explain, bc It's the experience. It needs maturity, but if both parties are in harmony, it flows so naturally.

About twin flames, or soulmates, romantic stuff or not.

[lightofdaeki]

My first hero.

Sabriel - Tommy Arnold

[lightofdaeki]

Be still my heart.

QUEEN CHARLOTTE: A BRIDGERTON STORY 1x06

[lightofdaeki]

This is why I practice relationship anarchy. All relationships matter from friends, to lovers, to family. Equitability matters. Polyamory matters!

One thing I really appreciate about Heartstopper is how it puts friendships on the same level as romantic relationships. Like, how Charlie wrote Tao's name on the lock and not Nick's? That was so beautiful. It shows that friendships matters as much, that we should cherish them too.

[lightofdaeki]

"She is dancing away from you now.

She was just a wish. She was just a wish.

And her memory is all that is left for you now."

Here it is! The drawing I said would kill you all. I have been listening to Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac on a loop, thinking about Katniss and her grief. I saw a post floating around talking about hair being part of the grieving process, as well as my old drawing of Katniss with chopped hair after Prim's death. I just wanted to express a whole lot of pain. Then I saw a really good reference image on Pinterest, and the rest is history! Hope you all enjoy being hurt!

[lightofdaeki]

[lightofdaeki]

You know when you see a post that just. Really indicates so clearly none of these people have ever known anyone who is polyamorous nor bothered to learn anything about it.

There was a post about how they should legalise polyamorous marriages for all reasons, but also because they want to see what polyamorous divorces look like. Someone else reblogged with the image of Charlie Day next to that mail wall with the threads, captioning it with, "Divorce Lawyer."

Honestly, a bit funny.

But the notes are just... Filled with people who genuinely have no idea about anything to do with polyamory, who's only experience with polyamory is joking about it and making fun of Mormons.

Sure, joking about breakups happening like voting someone off the island is funny and all, but those jokes are all people know about it. It makes trying to exist as a polyamorous person so frustrating. Especially when it is jokes centred around our marriage inequality. If you are going to make jokes about something that majorly impactful to our lives, perhaps know the first fucking thing about polyamory.

I have never met someone who I have told I am polyamorous that did not know anyone else who was polyamorous who did not have assumptions built on these sorts of jokes. Especially in regards to explaining that no, I am not dating all of my partners' partners, and even if two of my partners are dating our relationships are separate. My relationship with each of them and theirs with each other have actually nothing to do with each other. It blows their minds and it is such a basic part of polyamory. The majority of the people I know are polyamorous, and none of them have any relationships where they date multiple partners as a sort of joint relationship.

People look at polyamory through such a monogamist lens that they do not actually seem to conceptualise it as multiple relationships that co-exist. Whenever I clarify that no, it is not a 'singular' relationship containing more than two people, I always get looked at like I have uprooted their entire worldview. This revelation is almost followed by enquiring how I do not get jealous.

I do. That is a part of life. I get jealous of my friends' friends too. I just process those emotions on my own time, and communicate if these emotions are stemming from specific behaviours of theirs. (Such as, for example, them not making time to speak with me but making time to speak with other partners.)

It is not that the question of how to manage jealousy that really bothers me (it does bother me though), but the idea that it would not exist if you frame polyamory from the point of view of it being a single relationship with multiple people. It just speaks to how these people have never even begun to learn the first thing about polyamory. It is not as though there are not people who's relationships function like that, but it is that it is the hardest form of polyamory to maintain. You need to have good communication so everyone is on the same page about everyone's relationship with everyone else all at the same time. A and B's relationship, A and C's relationship, B and C's relationship, and any more is all one relationship. That is so much harder than all of those relationships being their own separate ones co-existing. If A and B have a problem, it is also a problem with A and C and B and C and whoever else there is.

Yet so many people are just functioning under the mindset that that is what polyamory is, and the idea that it not being one relationship (as in, like monogamy) that has multiple people in it is so confusing and hard to understand is just. What right do you have to be joking about our marriage inequality if you don't even know what you're joking about?

[lightofdaeki]

It has something to do with a complete loss of inhibitions. If I could let go of the societal/religious upbringing that plagues every thought. I just want to be my authentic self, without the guilt, without hesitation, without regret.

She bites

My art.

[lightofdaeki]

Halsin. My Halsin. They need better poly representation in BG3. My cousin and brother killed Astarion which was my initial poly guy. WTF guys?! Don’t quest with family. Add me on Steam! 😂 @lightofdaeki

fire of your soul

[lightofdaeki]

Ughh the painnnnn!

Demi-asexuality is such a spectrum. How do you explain to some people that sex means nothing to you one day and your body is unresponsive, and then months later your spectrum slides over to demi for a while. It’s nuts. Maintaining lasting poly relationships with this is a challenge, but I’ve learned it really weeds out the bad seeds quick.

Who knew dating as an asexual , bisexual person is hard as hell?

[lightofdaeki]

So much this! The healing I have traversed during these stories has been tremendous. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self what’s waiting for her.

Alright listen up kiddos. Let me explain to you why adults like myself who haven’t been in high school for quite some time feel a connection with Heartstopper. Here’s why, we didn’t have this. I didn’t and adults older than me had even less and some had none at all. I had Glee which was fine but it’s not a great show for bi rep I’m sorry but it isn’t. The way Kurt and Santana treated bisexuality sucked.

This show also has good healthy trans rep where we don’t know Elle’s deadname and only know her as she is now. We know a little about what she went through with bullying but that’s it now she gets to have a happy normal teenage girl experience as she should! She gets to have a love interest and be around other queer girls who love her and support her.

Anyway, yeah, Heartstopper is very special, and it’s healing for those of us who didn’t get to have something like this when we were young. This is me giving my younger self a hug and saying ‘hey look what the future has.’ I love adult queer stories too, and I enjoy those, but I need shows like Heartstopper and Young Royals as well. Anyway yeah I’m done here. I have no regrets being a fan, and I’m literally younger than Alice, so yeah.

[lightofdaeki]

I’d do anything …

Marker art of my favorite band! 🎃🍒

[lightofdaeki]

::knock knock:: does this sting still work? I’ve been gone for some time.

I think I lost myself somewhere along the way.

Give me a bit to look for her …

[lightofdaeki]

tv show meme: [3/5] otps: piper x leo

I thought you were never gonna find your way home. It was your faith that brought me back. I could hear you calling me, like you were right there next to me.

[lightofdaeki]