lilaflyy

[lilaflyy]

My boyfriend has really vivid, elaborate dreams. He’ll often wake up and talk about some grand narrative- travel, exploration, politics, performances. I’ve always been a little jealous, he can hold really good plots together for them sometimes.

But anyway, this does have a downside; vivid, elaborate dreams make for vivid, elaborate nightmares. I can usually tell when it’s one of those nights, since he grinds his teeth pretty badly.

I was never quite sure what to do when I knew he was having a bad time of it, though the grinding alone was enough to worry me and push me towards intervening. I used to just shake him gently, hope to rouse him just enough to reset the dream or something, but it wasn’t too effective and anyway waking him up all the time isn’t good for rest.

I’m rather proud of the strategy I eventually settled on: gently, so as not to wake him up, I’d lay one arm across his hands, wrapping his fingers around me so that he was holding on. Nightmares being nightmares, I can usually count on a pretty tight grip when this happens.

It may seem a little odd, but consider that holding on to something with both hands is typically a very agentic frame of mind. We hold on to things that give us power, in one way or another, and possessing objects often makes us feel powerful in some respects. That has consequences, even for a dreaming mind.

I knew it was working when he woke up rather mystified from one such dream, and told me that he’d been running through the caverns of some dungeon or cave system, pursued by monsters, but then all of a sudden he was holding a giant anime sword and fought them off instead. So I got to be a sword for him that night, I was delighted.

I don’t usually get to know exactly what happened, since even for a very vivid dreamer like Ritter, nine tenths of these things get forgotten. But I know I’ve been things like door handles, steering wheels, stuff like that. And even when I don’t know what I am to him, he doesn’t grind his teeth nearly as much- the sleep is deeper and more peaceful, so I get plenty of feedback that it’s working.

It’s such a perfect encapsulation of love in microcosm, isn’t it? No matter how much you mean to them, and how much they mean to you, the gap between two conscious lives is fundamentally separating you. But fundamental does not mean insurmountable. There’s this whole world in him, full of dreams and perspectives that I’ll never truly experience. But I will be a part of those worlds all the same, finding little ways here and there to make sure that the dreams of me make him a better, stronger, and happier person.

Or at least, so one hopes. It’s a difficult challenge, and things often go awry. But usually you get at least a little lucky.

[lilaflyy]

the way a lot of people talk about dating makes me really sad

[lilaflyy]

My question is, what do the weird anti-kink people do when they discover they have a kink

do they just like

pretend everyone else likes feet or hair or McDonald’s playplace mascot statues or whatever exactly as much as they do

Or is it more of a Catholic denial-of-the-self sort of thing

[lilaflyy]

Couple + Sibling/relative third wheel is honestly an S-tier trio dynamic and I wish we saw more of this in media.

"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."

"Yo."

[lilaflyy]

I love you more than anyone. (insp)

[lilaflyy]

Between the lesbian that cant beat the monsterfucker allegations and the autistic man with the special interest, she really underestimated her crowd

[lilaflyy]

I think people who consider aromanticism as "basically straight" underestimate how noticeable absence can be to those around you.

Whether you're a kid in school with classmates who won't take "no one" as an answer to who you have a crush on or an adult whose coworkers have picked up on the fact that you've never mentioned a romantic partner; after enough time, a lack or insufficient amount of romantic interest will raise the antennae of friends, family, coworkers, etc... They will notice and they will speculate and they will ask.

It is impossible to meet the societal bar for straightness through inaction.

[lilaflyy]

[lilaflyy]

Reblog or like this post if you agree that KPOP Demon Hunters needs a sequel... like right now!!!

[lilaflyy]

Paved with Love

Happy Pride month! 🌈🏳️‍🌈

I spent a long time thinking about what to paint for this year until I saw a photo of flagstones covered in chalk art of various rainbows. It made me realize that the path to equality and a better tomorrow is paved slowly, step by step, and with love.

[lilaflyy]

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[lilaflyy]

Reading my own fanfiction is basically just a rollercoaster of emotional whiplash.

20% of the time: “Hold on. I wrote this? This is fire. This is emotionally devastating in the best way. This scene is dripping with tension. I’m a literary perfectionist. Someone give me a book deal.”

80% of the time: “Straight to jail. Immediate prison. Why is everyone’s breath hitching?. I used the word ‘gaze’ three times in one paragraph like I was possessed. Did I think 'his eyes darkened' was profound? Why is everyone clenching their jaws? Why is someone whispering 'their name like a prayer' again?? No one talks like this. What is this dialogue. Why are there so many weird metaphors and em-dashes…”

[lilaflyy]

[lilaflyy]

7 year anniversary of Spellbound!

Today is the 21st of June 2025, which means it's been exactly seven years since I uploaded the first chapter of Spellbound. I thought I'd upload the art I drew in celebration of it here too! Pride kitties Adrien and Félix with their respective pride colours!

For those of you who don't know the story: Spellbound is my Miraculous Ladybug fae!AU that's been in the works since the time season 2 was still airing. That means some mechanics, cast and characterisations are a little outdated (if you're looking for fics relevant to season 6, then this is most certainly not your cup of tea lol). The fae part is very accurate to Celtic mythology and weaved in so tightly with Miraculous lore that I couldn't publish Spellbound as an original story even if I wanted to. 😂

The whole fanfiction is basically revolving around the question "How does a fae befriend a human without dragging them into fey disasters?" and a pair of teenage Cat Sidhe twins who are trying their utmost best to find an answer to it. Meanwhile they also learn how to be properly human, in big parts thanks to Marinette, who doesn't know that her new friends are actually shapeshifting cats.

And yes, there is heavy Miraculous lore in this story, an actual red thread consistent story, as well as realistic timelines, both in terms of relationship developments and mental health. I am a huge fan of world building and you'll find a lot of that in Spellbound. So, if you like that kind of thing, why not give it a read? I update semi-regularly! 😊

It's never explicitly stated in the story itself, but Adrien is nonbinary (he doesn't care which pronouns are used) and pansexual (he generally loves people). I just feel like because he is kinda "meh" about it, putting a distinct label on it wouldn't feel very right for him, so I'm leaving it up for interpretation. Basically, he's Adrien, and that's it. 🐈‍⬛

Meanwhile Félix is canonically and firmly aroace. We had enough drama about it to really cement that at this point. 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Also Spellbound has surpassed 1700 Kudos recently, which is also very exciting! 🎉I hope I'll be able to finally finish the story in the next year, though I kinda doubt I'll be able to keep to that resolution. 😅

[lilaflyy]

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

[lilaflyy]

This is still one of the greatest things ever made.

[lilaflyy]

i hate seeing people now making fun of those who care about privacy online. i've seen people saying things like "well they already have your data. what are companies going to do with it" and it's like, that's not the point. it's that companies /shouldn't/ be able to have my data and sell it. am i aware they probably already have my data? yes, absolutely. but i'm still going to try and keep them from monetizing it any further, why are we defending companies selling data they shouldn't have to begin with though?