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[lildoodlecat]

[lildoodlecat]

Crying Shen QingQiu

[lildoodlecat]

something you said has been on my mind for a while - "kink is not inherently sexual". good faith! I don't understand that at all, could you explain it a bit?

This post is educational, hooray! Extensive discussion of kink under the cut. Nothing explicitly sexual is described in detail.

Please note that in this post, I use the terms top and Dom/me interchangeably. This is because I personally identify as a "top" and not a Dom. Some communities draw sharp lines between these two terms, and it's useful to make sure that you're using the same definition as other people when you're talking. Some people use "top" solely to refer to the giving or penetrative partner, which is not synonymous with the dominant partner. Topping subs, power bottoms, and all other permutations exist. I just use that term for myself because I don't like being called a Dom. It sounds like a guy's name to me, I don't like it.

When I text my wife in every morning, "Please bring me my coffee," and she answers, "Yes, Sir!" is that sexual? I'm surely not feeling sexual when I'm barely awake. When I hold my other wife's hand when she's having a depressive fit and tell her, "Daddy's got you, it's okay," that's kink, but it's not sexual. In that moment, neither of us feel particularly sexy, and we're surely not engaging in sex, but it's kink that - forgive the pun - binds us more strongly together.

One of my girls wears a 24/7 collar that I locked in place. (She can ask me at any point to take it off, or she can take it off herself if she wants to, but she chooses this.) That's kink. It's also... a necklace. That's not any more inherently sexual than her wedding ring, though it - for us - certainly symbolizes part of our relationship that happens to sometimes include sex, exactly the same as a wedding ring.

There are a lot of types of kink that don't include sexual contact in any way or which might include sexual contact but don't need to. One of my friends is a sex-repulsed ace bootblack. They literally take care of the boots of tops, usually at play parties. For them, this act of service and submission allows them to go into a particular headspace that's very fulfilling for them. They are explicitly serving the people whose boots they clean and polish. The Dom/mes receive that service and not only get really great-looking boots out of the deal but also get the feeling of power from having someone eager to take care of them and serve them. For some of us, that kind of service allows us access to a feeling of power that can be hard to access in our daily life, and that feels really good.

Sometimes, it can feel good in a sexy way, and sometimes it feels good in a "makes lizard brain feel powerful but not sexy" way. Neither one is inherently better or worse or more or less kinky than the other.

Sometimes, people who like being whipped like it because the line between pain and pleasure is like a wave on the ocean, and they want to surf it. Sometimes, that involves mashing squishy bits together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, it's just about riding that endorphin wave and then having someone take care of you afterwards.

Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots and fucked. Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots because that process requires a lot of trust and is an intimate ritual that takes a lot of time. Sometimes, it's both. Sometimes, people want to tie up others because it's a beautiful work of art, because that ritual of binding is a ritual and accesses something sacred for them. Sometimes, they want to be tied up because it's playtime, and that's fun for them! Sometimes, they want to be tied up because when they're tied up, they are 0% in control, and they want to just surrender control to someone whom they can trust.

Some people want to go into sub space - that headspace I talked about earlier - because in their everyday life, they have a lot of responsibilities and stress, and going into that space where nobody can ask anything from them, where they have no responsibility to make any decisions at all, is a relief to them. That might involve squishy bits, or it might not. Some people like going into that sub space because being someone's Good Boy, Sweet Girl, or Good Pup is gender-affirming for them. A friend of mine only feels really safe when he's got his pup hood on, because that means he's With Master, who will protect him.

Some people get gender affirmation out of being in control, being someone's Daddy or Mistress, Sir or Boss. It allows them to access a power that helps them to square their shoulders and take on the world.

All of this entirely skips over the fact that a person's primary sexual organ is between their ears, and some people do get sexual fulfillment out of kink even when no genitalia are involved at all, but I cannot stress enough that the reasons that people enter into the multitude of kink situations in the world are as varied as the people involved. People gain access to comfort, to feelings of stability and order and control over their lives, to gender affirmation, to endorphins that are or aren't sexual in nature, to release from responsibility, to ritual and intimacy, to the ability to provide for others and take care of others in a way that their outside lives may or may not permit. For that matter, they may simply gain access to a paycheck, and that's fine, too. That's no more or less "selling your body" than when I used to run my ass off for 13+ hours a day at my retail job, and I guarantee they're making way, way better money.

The fact that so many people see kink as only and purely sexual means they're missing out on so much of what kink can offer, and narrowing down the experiences of others to this tiny little sliver of what actually exists. Yes, it can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. The reasons that people engage in kink are as varied as the reasons that people engage in any other kind of interaction, and the fulfillment they get from it is as varied, too.

[lildoodlecat]

[lildoodlecat]

(∩❛ڡ❛∩) may you be as loved as hualian with cornetto

🍦 new donghua content (???) thanks to the latest TGCF cornetto ad clip

*I LITERALLY CANNOT TAKE ALL THE DAMN CORNETTO PUNS AND CORNETTO GOING LIKE ALRIGHT TIME FOR 500% GAY

[lildoodlecat]

リンク オブ テイルズ 昨天忘記順便一起發這張（偷偷小改某個畫錯的地方w） Tales of Only場，真的大感謝。

無論逛攤者，擺攤者，熱心參與活動表演的人們，用心COS的大家 更不用說努力畫本畫小報出周邊的各位，以及 最辛苦的主辦人們與Staffs 精美的本子，COSER，還有當下Staff們準備的活動與佈景 讓大家感受到簡直就是現實版的TOW光明神話，真的都辛苦了！ 還要感謝場前場後都不嫌棄我的各位 ，在下power不足，不知道畫出來的東西到底能不能讓大家喜歡 能夠讓大家覺得：有拿到真是太好了，就足夠了～～ 感謝把我們連繫起來的TALES of，希望能跟大家一起繼續萌這套遊戲（鞠躬） 

然後我不得不說我真的很希望明天就是11/1（炸w

[lildoodlecat]

notes and breakdown of my shang qinghua design

[lildoodlecat]

It's such a beautiful day and you really want to see him

and he's really happy to see you too

and you really wanted to surprise him, but your cooking skills are as bad as ever

but he's just happy to have you around

[lildoodlecat]

Calamity!Xie Lian: I don't trust you. Don't hide your true emotions anymore, that's an order.

Wuming: Yes, Your Highness. (Oh no, I’m afraid to I can’t show Dianxia my unworthy ugly face! But how will I show my true emotions then?)

Wuming after an hour of reflection:

His inventiveness and cruelty amaze the imagination, the blade of his scimitar is stained with the blood of hundreds of enemies. Don't mess with him...

[lildoodlecat]

Some more Zhuzhi-Lang sketches

Ok i know i based his design on a cobra bc they’re venomous and have a cool hood, but behaviour-wise he gives me ball python vibes (slow to bite, curling up when they feel threatened)

[lildoodlecat]

Redraw of my old art

[lildoodlecat]

i started reading the fish-fucker cnovel because the memes had Intrigued me & i've been sketching

[lildoodlecat]

🦋🩸

[lildoodlecat]

Luo Binghe 🩸

[lildoodlecat]

I’m enjoying Tales of Crestoria very very much!!

[lildoodlecat]

Tales of Destiny skits: An Unexpected Use (x)