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[little-miss-moonstone]

calvin klein wants us dead.

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

Chapter Three | The Phone Call

Next | Previous | Series Master List

Summary: Carmy comes over for dinner.

WARNING: bad language, anxiety, flashbacks?, little editing. idk what else.. you know the drill, let me know if i missed anything :)

2019

Rori danced around her new apartment putting away items from the few moving boxes she had left. It had always been a dream of hers to live in New York City, and now that was her reality. To her, life seemed like it couldn’t get any better, she had her new apartment, she was halfway through writing a book she knew was a masterpiece, and she and Carmy were now living in the same city, again. And the most exciting part of all of that, to her, was that Carmy had no clue she had even moved to the city, only a few blocks from him. She almost wanted to run over to his apartment and surprise him, but she knew he would be calling her in only a few minutes, and thought of how nice it would be to hear the happiness in his voice. As if he knew she was thinking of him, her phone began to ring. She killed the music and dashed over to her phone.

“Hey,” she smiled, pressing the phone to her ear as she made her way to sit by the window that looked out at the city.

“Hey, what are you up to?” He asked, sitting on his fire escape and smoking a cigarette.

“Nothing really, just waiting for your call. How was work, or do you not wanna talk about it?” She replied, waiting for the right moment to share her good news.

“No, it was the same. I, uh, was thinking about fishmas this morning,” He shared before taking a drag.

“Bear, that was, uh, an interesting night for everyone. I’m okay and you’re okay, we made it out. That’s all we can focus on. Donna is, well, Donna, and I don’t know what got into Mikey, but from what Richie tells me he’s okay,” She tried to comfort him and it did help, but that wasn’t what he was referring to.

“Yeah, I know. I was thinking about our talk, outside. You never finished what you had to tell me,” He reminded. It had been driving him crazy for the last 7 months, but he hadn’t dared to bring it up. Rori froze on the other end of the phone. Her mind went back to that night, a night she had tried so hard to forget, especially what he was now asking about. She could lie, say she forgot, or she could take a chance and tell the truth. Her mind combed through all the moments from their teens and early 20s, the brushing of fingers, the glances across rooms, the tension, and flirtatious undertones.

“Uh, yeah, umm. I don’t know if it’s really all that important anymore,” She spoke in a shy demeanor, this was something Carmy easily picked up on.

“Come on, Rori. It’s you and me, you can tell me anything,” He promised, just as he always had. The caring nature of his voice made her fold like a piece of paper.

“Carmy, I-I want to tell you, and I’ve wanted to for a while I just don’t know how. You and I, we’re solid, and this might change that,” She explained.

He knew what she had to say. It was what he had wanted to say for years, but the thought of it all going wrong had silenced him. He couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving him and he knew it would happen. He couldn’t give her the love she deserved. The words “You are nothing” began to ring through his mind.

“Tell me,” were the only words he could get out.

“I’m in love with you. I have been since we were kids,” She confirmed. They were both quiet, neither of them wanting to speak, but as the seconds passed by her anxiety began to take over. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. It was stupid, God, just- we can forget about it, right? Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“It’s o-okay, uh, we- we can just- uh, we can talk tomorrow,” He replied. This was his way out.

“Okay, uh, I’ll talk to you then,” She replied before she hung up the phone. She stared out at the city as tears slipped down her face, she knew deep down they would never be the same.

Present Day (2022)

Rori was preparing dinner, she didn’t know if Carmen would even be hungry but she couldn’t help to think how nice it would be to cook for him. She was making a classic carbonara, something they both grew up eating. She was stirring the egg yolks rapidly when she heard the knock on her door.

“Just come in, Carmy!” She yelled from the kitchen, while she continued to stir.

He was shocked her front door was unlocked, this was Chicago after all. What if it hadn’t been him at the door and some maniac had just barged in? He locked the door behind him, finding his way to her kitchen easily, as he followed the delicious smell. He found her in front of the stove, her back to him as he took his surroundings in.

“Y’know, it’s really unsafe for you to leave your front door unlocked,” He got her attention, as she turned the heat off and began plating.

“I know, but I knew you would be here soon, and had I come to the door we would’ve had noodles and scrambled eggs,” She informed while she plated the food. “I didn’t know if you had eaten yet or at all today, but don’t feel like you have to.”

“No, no. I haven’t,” He assured, “This looks great. Is this your mom’s recipe or my mom’s?” He asked, bringing his plate closer to inspect.

“Your mom’s. I prefer her sauce,” She gave a soft smile, “Uhh, let me get you something to drink, I have water, wine, or whiskey.” She turned to the cabinet where she kept the glasses.

He chuckled at the options, “Water is fine.”

She quickly got him and herself a glass of water, while directing him where to get forks, and then they switched out items. It was for a brief second they both felt a moment of domestication like he had come home from work to her cooking dinner. They both shrugged the thought from their minds, taking a bite, and letting the dish take over.

“Wow. Don’t tell her, but this might be better than mom’s,” He smiled. He was being genuine and she knew that, returning the smile.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of telling her that. She would kill me, then you,” She chuckled. There was a brief moment of silence before she spoke, again, “I haven’t talked to her since Mikey, I, uh, figured I would just give her some space. I actually haven’t even told my parents I moved back, either. I- well, that situation hasn’t changed in the last 3 years. I, uh, well, my mom’s like your mom, and my dad is…”

“M.I.A.,” He finished her sentence. His mouth continued before his mind could catch up. “Have you spoken to him since that night?”

“No, I don’t think I can. He just left so easily, like I was nothing to him. I’m worth more than that. I miss him, though, the old him. I think about that version of him a lot. How he used to take us for ice cream, or how he and your dad would joke abo-“ she stopped herself, “while we played in the yard, or whatever.”

They continued eating through casual conversation and when they were done she rinsed their plates and left them in the sink to wash later. He moved into her living room looking around at the pictures on the mantle. One of Rori and Mikey from what had to be only a couple of years ago, one of her and Sugar from her first book signing, one of her holding Eva the day she was born, and lastly, one of the two of them from Fishmas, it was different from the one he had of them. In this one they were both smiling, only she was looking at the camera and he was looking at her. He remembered that moment, it was just after the picture he had was taken.

“We won’t have another Christmas like that, I fear,” She joked while taking a seat on her couch. He let out a soft chuckle before taking the seat opposite of her.

“I guess, we should talk about the elephant in the room,” She suggested and the atmosphere changed back to between comfortable and awkward, and Carmy couldn’t stand it.

“Honestly, this is all my fault. I-I, well you know how I am, I push people away. You gave me an opportunity to push you away that night and I took it. I know it was a dickhead move and I’m really sorry. I completely understand if you can’t forgive me, we can just carry on and I won’t bother you at al-“ He was cut off.

“I forgive you.”

He sat there for a moment trying to process the words that had come out of her mouth. How could she forgive him that easily, after he had completely cut her out of his life? She couldn’t even forgive her father for basically doing the same thing.

“You forgive me?” He repeated, not quite believing it only took an apology and his idiotic rambling.

“I forgive you. Carmy, all I ever wanted was an apology and a fucking explanation. You just gave me both. I want us to start fresh, well, like from before that night. I know it’ll probably take some time for us to get back to that, but I’m willing to give it a shot. If you are,” She replied and he smiled at her forgiving nature. He was about to agree, but she continued, “On one condition.” He nodded, almost begging her to speak, he would do anything to ensure she was back in his life like she was before.

“If you ever think you can pull some bullshit like that on me, again. I swear to God, Carmy, I will beat your ass. You don’t get to push me, of all people, away,” She was firm and yet, gentle and he couldn’t help to admire that.

He nodded, “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

From there the two fell into a comfortable conversation catching up on the last few years and then reminiscing on their youth. She was in the middle of telling him a story about a night out she had in London last year and he couldn’t help to think of how lucky he was to be sitting in her home with her, while she seemed to be enjoying his presence. He felt almost whole for the first time in years, and he knew it was her that had been missing.

It was late when Carmy left, both of them so caught up in conversation that it would be a rough day running on little sleep. Sugar beating on Rori’s front door didn’t help as she jolted awake to see it was 6:45 in the morning. Rori opened the door in her sweatshirt and shorts she had slept in, along with bedhead, and an unamused look on her face.

“Good morning, Sunshine. How was your dinner date with Carmy?” Sugar smiled pushing past Rori into the house.

“Oh, fuck off. You woke me up to be nosy? You couldn’t just call me at lunchtime?” Rori huffed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Did he sleep here? Oh my god, is he in your room?” She asked, quieting her voice and throwing Rori for a loop. The girl felt like her brain had short-circuited at the thought of Carmen staying over, much less in her bed.

“What? No, he did not sleep here,” Rori got defensive.

“Oh, I drove by at 10:30 last night and I saw his car was still here, s-“

“You did what!? Sugar, I cannot believe you were stalking us,” Rori sighed, rubbing her hands over her face in frustration. “Okay, I’m going to give you a summary of the night and then you're going to get the hell out of my house, and then I’ll give you a call when I’m not as angry as I am right now, okay?” When Sugar nodded, she continued, “He came over, we had dinner, he apologized, and I forgave him. Goodbye,” Rori finished guiding her friend outside. She shut the door, and locked it, leaving Sugar on her front porch while she returned to bed.

Only now that she was lying in bed, she was wide awake. Fucking Berzatto’s, she thought to herself as she leaned over grabbing her laptop from her nightstand. She sat up to work on the squeal she promised her publisher would be done by the end of the year. In her defense, she had half of the year left, but she also had only written a few chapters. She opened her notes and began mapping out the rest of the story.

Carmy had already been at the restaurant for a couple of hours, his mind not allowing him much sleep. When Sydney arrived at the restaurant she noticed that he was in the best mood she had ever seen him in, her first thought was he got laid, but she couldn’t imagine he was into hookups and she knew he wasn’t in a relationship. She began her prep while trying to figure out if she should ask, or just enjoy a happy Carmy for once. She let it go knowing Richie would ask, but when he arrived he didn’t. He did notice, and he wanted to ask, but the fact that it could have something to do with Rori made him bite his tongue, that was until she stopped by the restaurant just in time for family. While she was formally introducing herself to Sydney and signing her copy of “The Red Thread”, Richie decided to take this opportunity to question Carmy.

“Yo, Cousin,” He said, getting the younger man’s attention, “This whole “Mr. Nice guy” thing doesn’t have anything to do with Rori Bear, does it?”

Carmy almost smiled at the nickname he hadn’t heard in year, but he caught himself. “Uh, I don’t know. I went to her house last night, we, uh,” Richie seemed extremely hopeful in that moment, “talked about- I apologized. Um, we’re just kind of starting over from where we left off.” He explained, and while that was still great news, Richie was hoping there was more.

“You just apologized?” He asked, “You guys just talked like that’s all?” Carmy could tell what he was implying and it reminded him of the talks he used to get from him and Mikey.

“Cousin, stop. We’re not doing this. Rori and I are back at a place where we actually talk to each other and she doesn’t seem to be freaking out about being in the same room as me. So we’re going to leave it right there, okay? I don’t need you putting all that bullshit in my head like you and Mikey used to.” He assured.

“Bullshit? Cousin, are you fucking stupid?” Richie questioned.

“Yo. I just said we're not fucking doing this. Go take your seat for family,” Carmen ordered.

Rori sat in between Carmy and Richie at the table, Tina was quick to start up a conversation with the girl having not seen her in a few years. Rori could feel Carmy briefly tense up when her time working at The Beef came up, and it didn’t help when Richie joined in. She tried steering the conversation to a new topic knowing Carmy would ask about her time at the restaurant. She thought he might forget if the topic changed a few times. Sydney started gushing over her book and trying to get any information about the sequel.

“I mean Rose and Cameron have to end up together, right? Like they can’t be that oblivious, especially when everyone around them is constantly telling them,” Sydney explained. Carmy turned to listen, wanting more details of the book he hadn’t read yet.

“You would be surprised. I know some real stubborn motherfuckers, who make Rose and Cam look normal,” Richie entered the conversation.

“Cousin, quit acting like you read it,” Carmy let out a small laugh.

“I did fucking read it, all 319 pages! And let me tell you Cameron’s a real jagoff. How can he be so in love with Rose and then do fuck all about it, and then be miserable? Stupid rat does it to himself,” Richie remarked, jolting up from his chair.

“Okay, Richie. It’s fictional, let's not lose our heads,” Rori guided him back down to his chair. “Guys, I’m going to be honest. I’ve only written a few chapters of the next book, and I have no clue yet whether they are going to end up together or not in the end, but even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. You’ll just have to find out when I send your copies,” She smiled, returning to her food.

When family wrapped up, Carmy was quick to step out back for a smoke break, learning that Rori worked at the restaurant, and all the talk about a book he felt guilty for not reading, was taking up his mind. He wasn’t expecting her to come join him, she had never cared for the smell of cigarette smoke, so when she asked for a drag, he was completely caught off guard. He studied her face trying to pick up on any subtle hints as to if she was joking and when she furrowed her brows in confusion, he knew she was serious. He cautiously handed it over watching to see if she inhaled when she took a drag.

“When did you start smoking? You hated it when we were kids,” He asked, leaning back on the brick wall. He could tell she was reading him like a book with his cigarette between her lips, and he hated how much he adored it and how jealous he was of a fucking cigarette.

“Like 3 years ago. I thought it would help with the stress and anxiety. News flash, it fucking doesn’t. I don’t allow myself to smoke all the time, but with this next book, I might become a chain smoker,” She gave a small giggle and handed him back the nicotine stick.

“When did you work here?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“Pandemic. I moved back temporarily and Mikey needed help, and I had writer's block so I figured “What the hell”. It wasn’t long, maybe a few months. I, uh, do you know who Nico is?” She wondered, not wanting to snitch on Mikey. When Carmy nodded she continued, “I caught them, Mikey and Richie, they were back here in the alley dealing. I was pissed, Mikey and I got into this huge fight, mostly over the coke. He told me I couldn’t work here anymore, he didn’t want me around his “bullshit” because I had made something of myself,” She paused again, “He felt the same way about you.”

It was silent, both of them just looking at each other as he passed the cigarette back to her. It was comfortable, but only for a second. Carmy couldn’t figure out if they were the same people they were three years ago, there was still so much he didn’t know about her. He was relatively the same, but it was as if she had lived a thousand different lives.

“Where were you living before the pandemic, and before now?” He didn’t want her to feel like it was an interrogation, but he was just so curious. He noticed her slightly tense up and for a moment he regretted even asking, but that was only until he heard her mutter the words, “New York City.”

“You were in New York?” There was a mix of emotions behind his words, he wasn’t even sure what he felt in that moment. Was he upset, confused, or was he angry?

“Yeah, I moved there the day of the phone call. I was going to tell you, but I didn’t really get the chance. I’ve been there for the last three years. A few blocks from Madison Park,” She confirmed.

Carmen felt like an even bigger dickhead at that moment. All he could think about was the fact that he threw away what could’ve been the best years of their lives. What if, instead of pushing her away that night, he pulled her closer? He thought of all they could’ve done together in the city away from this breeding ground of family trauma and anxiety, they could’ve been so happy… together.

A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay. I got caught up with my birthday this past weekend, work, and registering for classes because i decided to go back to school.. not to mention the fucking Calvin Klein ad and the golden globes. Ugh, anyways, I hope you’re enjoying so far and hopefully another chapter will be out soon!!

[little-miss-moonstone]

i was at work when the photoshoot dropped and all my coworkers started spamming our work chat bc they know how much i love him and let me tell you… i took my break early and had to laid down in my backseat after that. like sir… you didn’t have to pop all the way off😫

jeremy allen white for calvin klein’s 2024 spring campaign

[little-miss-moonstone]

Started rewatching the bear for like the third time and my hyperfixation has reawakened

[little-miss-moonstone]

can we appreciate jeremy allen white in fremont for a second??? this man looks incredible in black & white.

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

SERIES MASTER LIST

summary

ch.one| Book of the Year

ch. two| Somewhere Between

ch. three| The Phone Call

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

Chapter Two | Somewhere Between

Previous | Next | Series Master List

Summery: After Natalie begs Rori to help with some paperwork at the restaurant, Rori and Carmy come to an agreement.

WARNING: Anxiety, blood, almost vomit?, brief mention of past depression, very little editing. I think that’s all, once again just let me know if something needs to be added :)

Fear consumed Carmen as he watched Rori lying on the floor of the kitchen blood pooling by her side. She was struggling to breathe almost like she was drowning. He could hear everyone around him panicking, Sugar screaming for someone to call 911. It seemed like everything was happening in slow motion around the two of them. He didn’t notice when, but he was now on his knees by her side holding her hand as the blood soaked into his jeans.

“Help me, Carmy. Please, help me,” She begged.

He tried using a rag to apply pressure to the wound and the sound of her wincing through sobs broke something deep within him. How could this be happening? Hadn’t they all been through enough? Her whispering for help was all he could hear as he stared into her eyes, praying they didn’t close for good. He leaned in, noticing an orange glow in her irises. He wondered if that was what happened when someone was dying. He leaned in closer than before to see the reflection of fire dancing in her eyes, and the moment he turned around the fire alarm was blaring.

“Fuck!” Carmen cursed as he woke to realize he had almost set his apartment on fire. He opened the window while using the fire extinguisher to put out the blaze on his stove. He began fanning the smoke out the window and the alarm soon stopped. He sat on his couch with a glass of water seeing it was 1:30 in the morning. His breathing was starting to slow down from his actual nightmare and the one in his kitchen, glancing over to the journal on the coffee table, he leaned forward to grab it. He flipped it open, studying the polaroid that lay inside. He and Rori from Christmas 2018, or from what they called it, Fishmas. It was a candid shot neither of them had known was taken until Mikey had given it to him at the end of the night. The two of them were standing in front of the pantry, she had just arrived and greeted him with a hug. She pulled back and he said something that had made her laugh, his arm was still around her waist and she had put a hand on his chest as she smiled. If any stranger saw the photo they would have thought the two were a couple. He admired the picture for a few more seconds before putting it back and flipping to a blank page when his pen acted as a bookmark.

Dear Rori,

I saw you today for the first time in 3 years. You took my breath away, but you’ve never had that problem. I didn’t know what to do, or say, I thought I would never see, or hear from you again. That is my fault, I know, but I couldn’t risk you leaving me. I wish I never shut you out, you were all I ever truly had that was mine. You could have actually been mine and I ruined that too. I miss you, I miss you more than I ever thought was possible, and it's weird now because you're here and I saw you, but I still miss you. I guess that's because nothing’s changed and yet everything has changed. I used to know everything about you, your favorite song, color, flower. How you always prefer waffles to pancakes and when pinks and blues paint the sky at sunset. You’re scared of the dark and you can't sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door and the TV has to stay on. You adore dogs and you used to cry when we would pass the animal shelter. You hate summer and when Mikey and Richie would pin you down and tickle you and these days I would assume you hate me too, and I can't even blame you for it. I want to fix this, I want us to at least be friends because I can't imagine that you still love me, and I can’t stand for you to haunt another one of my dreams.

Yours forever,

Carmy

He closed the journal and moved it back to its spot on the coffee table, before lying back down on the couch and letting the TV lull him back to sleep.

Natalie invited Rori over to her house for breakfast in hopes of guilting her into helping find the missing tax forms at the restaurant. Rori almost choked on a piece of French toast at the idea of being around Carmy. She tried to voice her opinion but Sugar began to ramble on.

“No, Rori I need some help, and if it's you that helps then Carmen can run the kitchen so he won’t even be in the office. I have to find these documents or the IRS will cease my fucking home, please Rori, please, please, plea-“

“Fine! I’ll help,” She sighed.

“Thank you,” Sugar smiled. A comfortable silence fell upon the room for a brief second before Sugar spoke again, “Would it honestly be a bad thing if you and Carmy became friends again?” Rori sighed again, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

“No, if we’re being honest, I would love that, but I doubt he would ever open up like that to me again. And, for shits and gigs, let's say he did, it took me months to cope with him cutting me out of his life. I-I don’t know if I could handle that again, I’ve never been so depressed in my entire life,” She paused. “You know how I feel about Camry, I don’t think there will ever come a time where I don’t feel that for him. It’s been three years, and when I saw him yesterday it was like the last 30 years flashed through my head, like everything came back to me, and despite the instant panic I just wanted to hug him because it actually felt like I was finally home.”

Nat’s eyes were glassy and she tried her hardest to hold it in, while another part of her couldn’t believe how much of an idiot her brother was. She had known since they were 10 that they were the perfect pair, not to mention both sets of parents often joked about the two growing up and getting married. Everyone expected it, so much that when Rori came home for Christmas in 2019, Mikey, Natalie, and Richie were shocked to hear that the two were no longer on speaking terms. She now hoped that if the two could just talk things out, maybe one day Rori would get to be her sister, like how they used to talk about as teens.

Rori became more anxious as they parked in the back of the restaurant, she was just thankful Richie was the only one taking a smoke break. She wiped her palms on her jeans before they started walking towards the door. She decided she was going to be cordial, she didn’t want to push Carmy away any further than he had already pushed. She was just going to stay in the office with Sugar and try to find this stupid document as quickly as possible.

After greeting Richie she slipped inside behind Sug and tried to keep her eyes on the ground. Carmen’s voice quickly got her to glance up as he was talking to Marcus a few feet in front of her. Their eyes met for a moment before she darted into the office and was quickly greeted by the poster of Fenway Park. A shiver went down her spine thinking about Micheal and how much time he spent in the office. She wondered if this was the last place he was before he went to the bridge that day, and she knew it was stupid to wonder things that were facts.

Two hours later they were still sifting through the never-ending paperwork. They were both growing frustrated and the office looked like a wreck. Rori was so grateful her phone began to ring. She noticed it was her publisher and quickly stepped out into the back alley. It was only a few moments later when Richie stepped out for a smoke break. He could tell it wasn’t a pleasant phone call from her constantly furrowing her brow and pinching the bridge of her nose. He took another drag just as she hung up. She looked at him and then at the cigarette he loosely held by his side.

“Can I?” She asked, gesturing to the American Spirit. He lifted his hand to offer the cigarette to her with a perplexed look on his face.

“When did Rori Bear start smoking?” He chuckled as she took a drag.She could feel her stress levels decreasing, even though she knew cigarettes didn’t help. She gave herself a moment before answering.

“Uh, I don’t know, about three years ago. I don’t smoke all the time though, it’s more of like an “I’m really stressed, or I have writer's block, or I just got off the phone with my publisher and they're bitching for a sequel” thing,” She shrugged before taking another drag and handing the cigarette back over.

“I’m sorry by the way, for calling you Rori Bear, it’s just habit y’know,” He apologized. It made her heart drop a bit that he felt the need to even say that. The nickname had always made her laugh, at least when she got older.

“No, no. It’s fine, I promise. Mikey always called me that, even after Carmy and I stopped talking so it’s okay,” She assured him with a smile. It wasn’t much longer before the two headed inside and she went back to the office to find Carmen and Natalie going through the mess together.

She went back to her spot trying not to focus on him too much, it was hard, but they all had their separate piles they were working out of. There was small talking happening mostly between Rori and Natalie or Carmy and Natalie, but that was better than silence. She got stuck on a piece of paper, it had MIkey's handwriting all over it, and then she noticed her handwriting. She remembered it from when she helped out during the pandemic. She had gone into the office and left him a note to remember to call the fridge guy and it ended up with them having a whole conversation every time one of them replied. She smiled brushing her hand over the ink, unaware that Carmen was glancing over at her.

“Oh, shit. I forgot to call Pete,” Sugar announced before slipping out of the office before either one of them could say a word.

Rori and Carmen both looked from the door and then to each other, then immediately to the papers they were both holding. He wanted to say something, but he thought he might vomit, or stutter, and that made him want to vomit more. Just say something, say anything!

“Uhh, so Book of the Year, is that like a big deal or?” He asked and then immediately regretted it.

“Kind of. I mean, yeah. I don’t know.” She settled on an answer all the while feeling like an idiot.

Carmen chuckled a bit, “You don’t know?” Despite him thinking he could’ve asked a million better questions he didn’t think that one was hard.

“Yeah, it is a big deal, but being the youngest to ever win a Pulitzer stunts your judgment on what is a big deal or not, y’know?” She explained trying to sound as humble as possible. Carmen just hummed in response, he did understand, which is why he didn’t care for awards all that much. Rori now realized it was her turn to ask something and she felt like there was a lump in her throat. She could ask all the questions she had been dying to know. Why did you push me out? Did our friendship ever mean as much to you as it did to me? Was there ever a point where you could have loved me?

“How has it been running this place? I mean besides all the shit that became yours and Sug’s problem.”

Carmen began to fiddle with the paper in his hand, trying to calculate a response that wasn’t completely unhinged. I’m so stressed I almost set my apartment on fire. I feel like one more thing might make me crumble.

“I-it’s definitely a change of pace from New York, but it’s not bad,” He tried his best not to lie. The room became quiet, but the tone wasn’t clear, it lingered somewhere between comfortable and awkward. They both knew it wouldn’t take much to make it flip, both of them grabbing folders to keep looking. She wanted to carry on a conversation with him, connect with him about something— anything. She opened her mouth to ask if Mikey ever got the fridge fixed, but he spoke first.

“Yo, I think this is it,” He leaned toward her to show her inside the blue folder labeled “Shit”. She met him halfway taking in the tax document not realizing how close their faces were.

“Yeah, yeah that’s it,” She smiled looking over to see his face an inch or two away. She glanced to his eyes wanting to burn the shade of blue even further into her mind, it was her favorite. He had always been a hard person to read, but not for her, she could practically see the gears in his head turning, he was trying to think of something to say.

“What is it, Carmy?” She asked, trying to pull the thoughts from his head. Say something, tell me anything, anything at all.

“Do you, uh, do you think we could talk, y’know about,” He paused to collect his thoughts again, “I think we should talk about things if you’re up for it. We’re both home and it’s clear that we’re going to see each other a lot. I just don’t want anyone to feel like they have to tiptoe around us.” I don’t want to tiptoe around you.

“I agree. Can you come over after work tomorrow?” She asked. Can you come over? I've wanted to show you my house since the day I bought it.

He agreed as Sugar came back into the office, the two shuffled apart proudly presenting the document to shut down anything she might say. After she and Natalie got the office back into some kind of order the two girls left, making an impromptu stop at the farmer’s market. Natalie obliged because she had nothing better to do, and after being stuck in the restaurant for hours the outdoor air seemed nice. They carried on a conversation about the “What ifs” in life coming to a bunch of unserious conclusions, laughing as Rori picked up some vegetables.

“What if you were picking up ingredients to cook Carmy dinner?” Natalie asked. She knew it was a bold assumption, but the mood in the office seemed lighter when she returned and she saw how close they were. Rori froze her hand going to pick up a tomato, she felt her cheeks warming up, and she just prayed her face wasn’t red.

“Well, I am picking up ingredients to cook dinner tomorrow night. If he eats, that's his decision,” She replied in a matter-of-fact tone. She didn’t have to look to know the grin on Natalie’s face stretched from ear to ear. She figured she had better do some damage control before Natalie got her hopes up. “We’re going to talk about everything. We figured it was better to get it all out there than to keep dancing around it. It does not mean anything is going to change, it just means we’ll be on the same page about all of it.”

The smile was still present on Natalie’s face, she knew this could only go well— no, this had to go well, for everyone's sake. She didn’t want to imagine what it would be like if it went wrong, she would be stuck facilitating every interaction the two had, not to mention what it would do to both their mental health. She pushed the thought as far back as she could. This was Rori and Carmy and she knew their story wasn’t over yet.

Chapter two!!! Please like, or reblog, or something! I hope you’re all having a wonderfully week!! My birthday is Saturday so I’m hoping to have another chapter out before then, or at the latest Sunday:) I going to do flashback I just haven’t decided if those are going to be actual chapters or like sub chapters, or maybe apart of chapter… ugh anyways, see you soon!

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

Chapter One| Book of the Year

next | series master list

summary: Rori moves back home to find out she’s been lied to.

WARNING: Gunshots, a bit of angst and anxiety, very little editing. i think that’s all, if you think something needs to be added just let me know:)

“A little more to the left,” Rori directed as Pete was hanging a portrait on her living room wall. She had been lucky enough to find a house not far from theirs and the couple was more than happy to help her move in. It had been a long weekend as they unpacked boxes and occasionally stopped when they found the photo album from their youth. Natalie was still sifting through a storage tub with photos and relics from the past.

“Oh my god. I didn’t know you had this,” Natalie gasped and Rori turned to look. “Carmy’s sketch book from high school.” A light blush crept across her cheeks. She hadn’t seen that book in years and she felt quite embarrassed that Natalie had found it.

“Oh, um, yeah. H- I- uh, you know Carmy’s very talented and when he packed up I just didn’t want it getting thrown out or anything so I took it for safekeeping,” she studdered. “I was really hoping Richie would’ve stopped by. You told him I moved back, didn’t you?” She changed the subject while fiddling with the end of one of her braids. Natalie began flipping through the pages trying to buy time for her response. She hadn’t told Richie, knowing he would insist that Carmy and Rori both know the truth, but then Natalie thought what harm would it do now. Rori wouldn’t just pick up and move again, not after all their hard work and the hours it took to find the right shade of navy blue for the accent wall. Surely she would find out at some point in the next 72 hours. Yeah, Chicago was big, but not big enough, especially when she knew the first place Rori would go is The Beef. As she flipped to the next page and found the drawing of Rori she smiled, first at her brother's talent, and then at how he was able to capture just how beautiful the girl was.

“No, I meant to the other day, but it just slipped my mind. Maybe you should stop by the restaurant. I’m sure everyone there would love to see you,” She suggested putting the sketch pad back into the bin. She knew she would get an ear full from Carmy and Rori either way, so she might as well delay it. Rori thought what she proposed was a great idea, but she would give herself a few more days to settle in.

Carmen was taking a smoke break scrolling through his phone while he sat on some pallets behind the restaurant. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just reading news headlines then scrolling to the next one.

AURORA CAVANI’S “THE RED THREAD” IS NEW YORK TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR.

He clicked on the article before any other thought could go through his head, seeing the picture of her smiling holding the book caused the corners of his lips to slightly rise. He quickly read through the article to see all the praise she was getting and how the book would become a series. Though he hadn’t a clue what it was about, it was the only book of her’s he hadn’t read, and he was telling himself he didn’t have the time, but maybe it was also because Mikey said it was his favorite. He remembered his brother telling him the characters felt so familiar and how he was sure they could fit right in at christmas dinner. He pushed the thought from his head while finding her contact in his phone. “Congrats on book of the year” he typed out, his thumb hovering over the send button. He always did this, she would get some honor or award and he would type out a text that he would never send. He chuckled then deleted the message. He was so sure her life was much better without him in it, she didn’t need his bullshit dragging her down. He was back home trying to hold the restaurant together, he knew he was a mess, and she was doing good, living in some city, god-knows-where. Though, many times over the last few years he did miss her company, even if it was only phone calls, texts and random FaceTimes and he often wondered if she missed them too. He wanted to believe that she didn’t, but he truly couldn’t know. There was no way possible for him to know she did, she missed him so much it bled across every page she had ever written since the last time they spoke. No, he was clueless to the fact that she convinced herself it was all her fault, she should’ve kept her mouth shut on the phone that night. She had kept it shut so long, a lifetime couldn’t have hurt. That alternative had to be better than the reality she had been living without him at all. Carmen took one last long drag before flicking the cigarette to the ground and slowly exhaling before returning to the kitchen. The sound of Richie still harping over the bad date he had been on while everyone was manning their stations. There was now some-what of an order to the kitchen and he knew the progress would be slow but he was okay with that.

After stopping at the farmer market, just to look around, Rori knew she needed to go see Richie. The idea of actually stepping foot inside The Beef sent a shiver down her spine, she hadn’t been inside in two years. She found herself standing on the pavement just staring up at the run-down sign. It made her think of her childhood and Mikey… and Carmy. She took a deep breath reminding herself it would be okay, what she was feeling was the price of having loved, that is grief. She opened the door, not having time to look around as Richie was a few feet in front of her talking to a women she didn’t know.

“Holy shit,” He mumbled, he never thought he would see her step foot in Chicago again, much less the restaurant. “Red, what the fuck are you doing here? Don’t you have some fancy smancy award banquet or tea with the Queen? C’mere let me get a look at you. It's been too long, sweetheart.” He engulfed her in a hug.

“I actually just moved back, not too far from Sug. She thought it would be good after, you know,” she paused and Riching nodded in understanding, “it would just be good.” She finished.

“She’s here ya know, she’s just in the office going through some papers with—“ gunshots cut Richie off as they, along with the other women, duct down. After a moment, a familiar voice cut through the silence.

“Is everybody okay, yeah?”

A voice that Rori knew all too well, she was rooted in place, paralyzed with anxiety as his voice echoed in her mind. She thought back to the last time she had heard it three years ago. “It’s o-okay, uh, we- we can just- uh we can talk tomorrow.” Those were the last words he said before he hung up. They didn’t talk tomorrow, and all of her calls and text went unanswered for months before she decided she couldn’t take the rejection any longer. He was now in sight and the moment he saw her his breath hitched and he was standing just as still as she was. She studied his face, his eyes still the bright blue she remembered, but they looked tired and his untameable curls were still just that. She could feel his gaze and wondered if he was doing the same thing. He was, taking in her eyes, they were like emeralds staring back at him. Her hair was still as red as cayenne peppers, but he noticed the gold hoop on the left side of her nose, that was new, well at least to him. She had a few more tattoo’s, but so did he.

“Fuckin’ motherfuckers,” Richie cursed storming to the door, then outside to inspect and they were both drawn from the trance they had put eachother in.

“Uh- h-hi i-i didn’t know you were home, Sugar told me you were still in New York,” Rori spoke first, eyes darting at Natalie as she came into view.

“Is that right?” Carmen was now looking at his sister, “I, uh, moved back a couple of months ago to run this place.”

“Oh, yeah. So we’re lying now, Sug? Is that what we’re doing?” Rori laughed and although it was sarcastic, it was still a beautiful noise to Carmy’s ears.

Natalie quickly suggested that she and Rori go talk outback, dragging the girl through the kitchen before any more words could be said.

“That was Aurora fucking Cavani,” Sydney smiled, “You know her? She’s like a modern day shakespeare. How-“

“We grew up together.” He cut her off, “Now, if everyone is okay, let’s get back to work.”

The two girl could be heard yelling in the alley, their voices were muffled, but you could clearly tell an argument was happening.

“I thought she’d be happier to see you, Cousin,”Richie chuckled.

Carmen ignored his words, focusing on the task in front of him, but a part of him had hoped that if they had ever seen each other again she would be happy to see him. Realistically, he knew he had ruined any chance of that years ago and honestly expected her to slap him across his face, god knew he deserved it. His eyes wandered across to where she dropped her tote bag, the bullet hole causing him to stop what he was doing and slowly walk over to it.

“Ffffffuuck,” He exasperated, “Yo, Cousin, c’mere.”

When Richie walked over and saw what Carmy saw his face held the same expression, utter disbelief. He knew it was rude to go through a women’s bag, but he had to know where the bullet went. He slowly pulled out a hardback copy of her book, “The Red Thread”. The bullet was lodged into the cover plus a few of the first pages.

“Could you imagine if this wasn't there?” Richie asked.

“No. I couldn’t.” He sighed running a hand through his hair.

He knew in that moment he had to fix the mess he made all those years ago. The thought of something happening before he could make amends sent a shiver down his spine, he did that with Mikey, he couldn’t do that with her. The sounds of Rori and Sug arguing were beginning to die down and he was clueless as to what he was going to do. She had nearly bitten his sister’s head off for not telling her he had moved back home, but the damaged book was a reminder: Don’t wait until it’s too late.

a/n: And here it is!!! I hope to write another chapter soon. Don’t expect a regular upload schedule. My aim is for one update a week but it’ll just be random and chaotic. please please please tell me what you think and i’m wishing you all the best in 2024:)

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

ch. one | Carmen Berzatto x fem!oc

warnings for series: anxiety, depression, mentions of suicide, mentions of drug use and alcoholism, violence, grief, toxic behavior, just complete and utter chaos — each chapter will have specific warnings but i just wanted to give an over-all idea of the themes.

this originally was going to be a reader insert story, but the more i began playing around with ideas, she became her own person and she is so special to me that i had to give her a name, eye color, hair color and other little quirks that make her unique. so i really hope you enjoy getting to know her, though I’m sure you will hate her at times.

Rori Cavani had known the Berzatto’s her entire life, well almost, she couldn’t remember before she didn’t. Sugar and Mikey were like her own brother and sister, but being the same age as Carmy they grew up being each other’s best, and only, friend. That was until graduation came and her and Carmy were off tackling their own career paths, which couldn’t have been more different. He became a chef and she went to college and became an author and they both spent several years traveling around making names for themselves and as the years passed they slowly fell out of touch. A few months after Mikey’s unexpected passing Natalie called Rori, practically begging her to come home, wanting nothing more than to have her loved ones close. Rori was hesitant, but she had been craving the comfort Chicago gave her and with Natalie confirming Carmy was still in New York, she figured why not?

“Yeah, yeah, I don’t know if he’ll ever come home, but i’m so glad you are,” Sugar smiled, the phone pressed to her ear as she watched her younger brother and Richie walk up her driveway. Little did she know that lie would open Pandora’s box.

a/n: i’m going to try to have chapter one out at some point this weekend:) please feel free to give me feedback on any and all chapters.

[little-miss-moonstone]

Okay… so me being me deleted my tumblr page to start fresh because I’m a psychopath, so, I’m going to start writing again and this time i want my work to be good and i want to stay inspired enough to finish because usually i start really strong and then i burn out. I want this page to be different from my last (cheers to holding myself accountable:) ) recently, like for the last two weeks, I’ve had this idea for Carmy and i really want to run with it so… here we go again.