littlepanduh-writes-365

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 102

Title: “midnight rain.”

Features: exes!YeoHye (Loona)

Word Count: 1,1117

Tags: Angst | Break-Ups: Moving On | Coffee Shop? | Setting Boundaries | Closure and Acceptance

Hyeju only expected the conversation to be civil. They would acknowledge each other’s presence, but wouldn’t force themselves to continue from where they left off. To her surprise, their chat was comfortable and almost natural. Yeojin managed to squeeze in some banter.

When Hyeju returned from the bathroom and saw that Yeojin was by herself, she had half a heart to bail. They had an amicable breakup nearly six months ago, but Hyeju still felt awkward being alone with Yeojin. 

Expecting that Hyunjin was going to return, Hyeju decides to stay. Thankfully, Yeojin is quick to make small talk. At first, they were just giving updates about work. That transitions into Hyeju opening up about her video-game streaming side-gig. Attempting to make a connection to the unusual working hours of a gamer, Yeojin tells a genuinely funny story about a time when she and Hyunjin accidentally spent 10 hours at a PC-bang after the release of some open world Pokémon game. Yeojin’s bashful confession of “still likes Pokémon after all this time” opens a deep and insightful discussion about hobbies and passions. They’re a sunset and two hours deep into their conversation before Hyeju realizes that Hyunjin was not coming back. 

Never in her life did Hyeju think catching up with her ex-girlfriend would be easy.

It’s almost too good to be true. 

Yeojin lets out a blissful sigh. “I miss this.” 

The sentence is simple, yet weighs heavy.

Hyeju assumes she’s talking about the conversation. She doesn’t remember the last time they had a lighthearted conversation while the sun set. 

It’s calm. 

Too calm. 

Memories cloud over her. Hyeju does her best to push them away, just as she has been doing so the past few months. 

Cheese rolls and hand holding under the table at their favorite coffee shop seems like a harmless memory. She can’t recall who they were gossiping about and she doesn’t remember how they managed to stay until closing, but it’s probably for the better. 

Lightning flashes and they’re sitting across from each other. Yeojin can only stare at her empty mug. Hyeju continues to fight her tears. Their meeting was barely 15 minutes long, but Hyeju can’t forget the way Yeojin manages to say the most heart-wrenching words in such a polite and careful manner. She wishes it wasn’t that way. She wishes Yeojin would change her mind so things work out. Maybe it would’ve been easier to move on if the simplicity of unhappiness could numb everything. 

There’s another flash of lighting, but this time, Hyeju is across the street. It’s raining, but she can’t find the courage to step foot inside that coffee shop again. She doesn’t fear seeing Yeojin. She fears seeing those cheese rolls and remembering what she lost.

One more lightning flash appears, but Hyeju is back to reality. They’re not at the coffee shop. They didn’t meet intentionally. Like the beginning of their relationship, conversation is easy. Like the end of their relationship, Yeojin is across from her and saying things that hurt her.

Open dialogue and playful banter is lovely, but they can’t exist in a relationship without serious conversations and emotional exchanges. Ideally, they could rebuild a friendship filled with shallow discussions and ignorance. 

Hyeju finds that option to be impossible. She can’t erase existential crises in the middle of a study session or passionate nights during thunderstorms. She can’t pretend that Yeojin didn’t break her heart six months ago. 

She missed Yeojin when she left. It wouldn’t surprise her if Yeojin missed a part of her, too.

Nevertheless, she doesn’t want to hear about anything that led to Yeojin’s regrets. She doesn’t want to know that despite leaving a hole in Yeojin’s heart, she’s managed to find a sense of happiness. She doesn’t like thinking that Yeojin’s memories have also faded. 

“I wish you didn’t say that.”

The words were out of Hyeju’s mouth before she could stop herself. If Yeojin’s statement didn’t regress their relationship, Hyeju’s response understandably did. 

The anxiety that Hyeju had managed to hold back unfortunately releases itself again. The fear of expressing negative emotions and rejection flow back in. Hyeju remembers questioning how they got to that point. Once upon a time, they used to tell each other everything. What happened? Hyeju knows she won’t ever find the answer to that question. Looking for the answer will just keep her running in an infinite loop of what-ifs and why’s. 

Tired of fighting, Hyeju’s flight response kicks into overdrive. She can’t stand being in her ex-girlfriend’s presence any longer and makes her exit. 

Astonished by the bold move, Yeojin stands up. Hyeju hates the way that Yeojin is fighting back. 

“I’m sorry.” Yeojin was successful in getting her words out before Hyeju left. Her apology is genuine. She never wanted to hurt Hyeju. Even after what had happened between them, she holds onto the same sentiment. 

Hyeju tightly grips onto the door hand. She seems to de-escalate. 

It’s the first time Yeojin has apologized since the breakup. 

Immediately after the breakup, the short phrase was the only thing she wanted to hear. Hyeju could accept that Yeojin lost interest in being in a romantic relationship. To this day, she still admires the way that Yeojin could communicate her feelings—something she couldn’t do. However, she had to acknowledge how painful heartbreak was. Even though the conversation was filled with love and respect, Yeojin was the cause of her pain and the least she could’ve done was apologize for hurting her feelings. Hyeju didn’t care if it was a white lie or an empty promise. The choice to not apologize left a huge wound that Hyeju hated to heal on her own. 

There came a point in time where Hyeju stopped caring about the apology. She was moving on in her life. She was healing. She didn’t think she needed to hear the apology anymore. Waiting for it would be a waste of time. 

Now that so much time has passed and Hyeju has changed from the experience, she didn’t exactly know how to feel. Was she mad that Yeojin opened an old wound? Was she relieved that Yeojin finally came to her senses? What is her apology even for?

With how numb she feels, Hyeju figures none of her curiosities matter. She didn’t like the way she was feeling, and with her heightened emotions, it was best to leave and sort out her emotions when she felt better. 

“It’s getting late.” Hyeju finds the courage to look at her ex-girlfriend. Yeojin seems to be staring at the ground, but Hyeju thinks it’s probably for the best that she doesn’t have to overanalyze the windows to her soul. “Goodnight.”

------------

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Sad OTP Starters

“It’s alright. I’m right here.”

“Why did you choose me?” “You know very well why, [ NAME ].”

“I’m a monster.” “No, you’re not.”

“You deserve so much better than me.” “Stop lying.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Please hold me.”

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“I’m begging you, please don’t lock yourself in your room.”

“Don’t shut me out.”

“Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

“Can’t you tell (s)he’s broken?”

“You’d better put that knife down.”

“Don’t listen to them.”

“Just leave.”

“I don’t need you.”

“Get away from her/him/them before I break every bone in your body.”

“No, wait!”

“Hear me out.” “Why the fuck should I listen to you?”

—

Funny OTP Starters

“Why the fuck is there a cat in my bed?”

“Might I ask why there’s Doritos everywhere?” “No.”

“I found out that your so-called composition notebook is really an Ipad and that you were using a cover to trick everyone at school. By the way, the principal wants to see you.”

“There’s a lot of hair in the toaster should I be concerned?”

“YOU WATCHED ALL THE DISNEY MOVIES WITHOUT ME?”

“YOU WATCHED HARRY POTTER WITHOUT ME?”

“Why is there a dog following you around?”

“WHERE DID YOU PUT MY COOKIES?”

“Oh my god did we actually do it?”

“I found hair in my food. Guess who’s.” “Your imaginary partner’s?”

“We’re gonna binge-watch ALL the Musicals on your birthday and you can’t stop me.” “My plane ticket says otherwise.”

“Your mother keeps on making me sweaters and dude I’m sorry I love her but these are making me ITCH.”

“This little girl/boy keeps staring at me at the restaurant we’re at while chewing food and it’s making me really uncomfortable so I’m gonna stare back.” “Wow.”

“This girl/boy keeps staring at me during classes and they’re making me feel really uncomfortable please help me.”

—

Cute OTP Starters

“Okay so it’s storming and I’m really scared of storms…can we possibly cuddle?…”

“You’re my medicine.”

“I found this really cute meme and it reminded me of you.”

“I can’t help but giggle when you kiss my neck.” “You also squeak.”

“Oh my god you have such an adorable sneeze?”

“I always catch you leaving small notes on my locker/desk. Your handwriting is so pretty and your messages are so sweet.”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you don’t mind kisses and cuddles as your gift.”

“How the hell did you get sick so quickly?” “I’m sorry.” “No don’t apologize! I’m here to take care of you.”

“WAIT why is there cake batter everywhere? Are you trying to bake a cake?” “It was supposed to be your favorite…”

“I love you but PLEASE STOP WASTING YOUR MONEY ON ME…”

“I can’t help but think of you. When I do it’s always at school, during classes. It distracts me.”

“You’re always leaving sticky notes with written clues all around the house on my birthday and our anniversary which always ends up with us going to some theme park or restaurant…and I love it.”

“We were in the middle of watching a Disney movie but you fell asleep, so I paused the movie and fell asleep with you just in case you wanted to continue watching when we both woke up.”

“I know you’re a geek for a lot of movies, video games, and musicals, so I bought you a lot of merchandise!”

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 101

Title: “I Still See Those Stars”

Features: Jiyoo (Dream Catcher) | Seola (WJSN) | Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Word Count: 2,609

Inspiration: angsty one shot starters - "It really hurts."

Tags: Apocalypse/Dystopian AU | Angst | Open Ending

cw// blood

(I actually think this might turn into a full flic. There's a little more backstory regarding Hyunjung and a continuation for Seulgi and Jiyoo. I'll keep posting WIPs for the time being. Enjoy this little excerpt for now!)

(Minor context that will be in the full version: I haven't fully developed the story, but this is taken place some time in the beginning of an apocalypse. Just from a little research, it seems that electricity and satellites would still be working, especially in bigger cities. That's why my characters are still using them.)

“It really hurts.” Yoohyeon wants to follow up with another snarky comment, but finds herself completely winded after saying those three simple words. She lets out a gasp and attempts to cover it with a chuckle.

Doom washes over Minji and ferociously drains into the car seat below them. Yoohyeon wasn’t one to bluntly voice her pain. She was only like this in dire situations. Minji checks the gash on Yoohyeon’s side. Fighting her tears, she puts pressure on an area that was still bleeding and ignores Yoohyeon’s wince.

“We’re only twenty minutes away from the nearest encampment.” Hyunjung presses down on the accelerator.

Minji knows she needs to stay positive, but the logical side in her couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario. What if the next encampment was already run over by a mob of monsters? What if it didn’t have medicine or food? They were running out of backup plans and extra supplies.

The weak woman puts a hand over her girlfriend’s fist. Not wanting to look at a bloody bandage, Minji looks back up at Yoohyeon and brushes away some stray hair.

What if she lost Yoohyeon?

“Stay strong.” Hyunjung’s timely advice is directed towards Yoohyeon, yet looks at Minji through the mirror in the sun visor.

Minji hates it. Twenty minutes was a long time. So much time, with little to do. She could stare out the window to calm her anxieties or stare into the love of her life’s eyes in case it may be the last time she does so. She could think about what her life will be like in a new base or reminisce about her college days with her girlfriend before this biological warfare started. Twenty minutes in this universe could be nothing or everything. Should Minji help look into other encampments and check radio signals or should she comfort the person she loves the most and mentally prepare for the worst?

She looks out the window to check for any signs of refuge. They were driving on a road that was right in between farmland and the city. Unfortunately, there were no signs of activity on either side. The factories were far out and didn't promise resources. Scavenging city buildings was risky and they already showed signs of abandonment. “How far out are we?” She isn’t coherent enough to think of a plan, but she could at least brainstorm something. The other passengers can put together the pieces.

Hyunjung looks at the GPS. “I’d say less than 30 kilometers.” Minji hates how unsure she sounds, but understands any satellite device has a growing margin of error in terms of accuracy. Time will only tell when cell towers and the electric grid will start to fail like in the movies.

Due to its damaged suspensions, the truck shakes rather violently as Hyunjung runs over some carcasses. Minji wants to scold her for driving so fast but still feels a wave of anxiety when Hyunjung slows down to an appropriate speed. The internal battle irritates the leader, making Minji hate her desperation for a safe haven.

Yoohyeon grunts. The aggressive shaking caused her to bleed out again. Minji fumbles around for the first aid kit. After making so much noise, Seulgi reaches behind them to pass on a clean bandage.

Minji dresses the wound. Thankfully, it’s not deep, but it’s undeniably sizable. “You’re gonna be okay, Yoo.” The patient reaches up to bite on her first. Minji hates seeing her in so much pain.

“Make a left at the intersection,” Seulgi commands in a low voice. Hyunjung follows her orders.

“Do we know anyone at that encampment?” Minji continues distracting herself.

Thankfully, Seulgi doesn’t hesitate to respond. “Our main point of contact is Kim Taeyeon.”

“Kim Taeyeon.” Minji ponders over her name. “Why does that name sound familiar?” Uncertainty hasn’t ever been a stranger to Minji ever since this horrid adventure started, but she wished there wasn’t so much of it at a time like this.

Seulgi visibly gulps. However, she knows not to test Minji’s patience. “Taeyeon-unnie took Joohyun-unnie into her care.”

It’s a rather bitter memory.

This Taeyeon-person seems trustworthy, but considering Joohyun’s fate…

Minji doesn’t like how there hasn’t been a single odd in their favor.

Still, she pushes for answers. “How do you know we can trust her?”

Seulgi bites the inside of her cheek. Even Hyunjung glances over to check on her. “Taeyeon-unnie took Joohyunnie in without any question.” She pauses to brace herself and to push back the affection. “I understand what happened to Joohyun-unnie, but we all know that was out of our control. I’m still grateful that sunbaenim took her in without question and treated her as best as she could.”

Minji can hold onto Seulgi’s hope, but continues to dig for a peace of mind. “And what if she’s not there?”

“I was in contact with her yesterday. They still have control over a communications tower and haven’t had to resort to using a backup power generator. They seem to be doing fine.” Seulgi’s defensive nature is a rare occurrence and tips Minji off.

“That was before the attack.” Minji sounds a little more volatile than she ever wants to be. “What if she’s not there? What if they were affected, too?”

Seulgi sighs. She doesn’t know how to give an answer that an angry Minji will accept.

This time, Hyunjung steps in. “The next camp after is another 12 kilometers from Taeyeon-ssi’s base. Hyojung-unnie and Hyunwoo-oppa are there. I haven’t contacted them, but their base camp is pretty big and I’m pretty confident that they’re still there. We’ll radio in when we get close.” Her supposed backup plan still had holes in it, but the concept was enough to ease some of Minji’s worries.

In the back, Yoohyeon takes a shaky breath. Minji immediately consoles her.

Hyunjung looks at her backseat passengers in the rearview mirror. “You think you can hold up, Yoo?” She won’t be able to see, but Yoohyeon smiles.

“She’s holding a thumbs up.” Minji lets out a chuckle.

It’s enough to keep the driver going.

“How about you?” Hyunjung lowers her voice and looks towards Seulgi. “Are you doing okay?”

Seulgi hesitates. Her silence is enough of an answer.

The tension in the car is rather unbearable, so Hyunjung rolls down her window and turns up the music. She mentally prepares herself for what she’s going to see—who she’s going to see. It’s a lot to think about and she may never be ready to return, but knows she doesn’t have a choice.

At least there’s a hint of excitement. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Trying to stay awake amidst the silence, Yoohyeon looks out the window and notices the Lotte World Tower. She smiles. “We’re on our way home.”

The message was a little too obscure for Minji’s comfort. Was Yoohyeon starting to see The Light ™? “What do you mean by that?”

Yoohyeon continues to stare out the window. “Everytime I took the bus home from uni, I knew we were close to home when I saw the Lotte World Tower. Don’t you remember?”

Minji doesn’t remember, and she’s about to lie, but suddenly remembers bus rides with Bora and Siyeon and finds comfort in the past. She wonders if her other friends are there. She wonders if they’re alive. She wonders if she can go home.

The car stops. Minji looks outside and sees that they have reached a bridge.

Hyunjung turns in her seat to crack her back. “It’s a rather long line, but the coast is clear and at least things are moving along. She pauses to take a deep breath. “We won’t be moving for a while. I’m going out to stretch and—” to brace myself. Hyunjung doesn’t complete her thought. “Is that okay with everyone?”

Seulgi looks back, mostly for Minji’s approval. She senses this magnetic pull between her and Yoohyeon that is just begging to be satisfied and mentally scrambles a way out of the car as well. “I’m going to check our inventory.”

Hyunjung unbuckles her seatbelt and scurries out. “Knock on the window in case you need something. I won’t go far.”

The driver’s window and the back door are open, but it’s the most privacy Minji and Yoohyeon have had in a long time. Minji allows herself to decompress, but tries to keep her emotions at bay. She can’t relish in relief until they pass this bridge.

“Minji-yah,” Yoohyeon weakly calls out to her.

The owner of the name looks down at her girlfriend and squeezes on her weakening hand. “We’re almost there, Yoo. Just wait a little more.”

The injured woman pitifully smiles. “Do you remember the time we went stargazing after finals?”

Minji doesn’t like this one bit.

She doesn’t like how Yoohyeon sounds tired of clinging onto hope. She hates thinking that Yoohyeon is resorting to their time at university to stay optimistic. She doesn’t want to remember their happiest memories at a time where it might be her worst one.

Yoohyeon chuckles. Even if her eyes were jaded, that smile peaked through the windows of her soul. “I was exhausted, but you pulled me out of bed and drove an hour out. You held me as we stared into the sky.” Despite her diminishing health, she forces herself to talk. It’s something she wants. It’s something she needs.

Minji remembers that day. She doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the moment she finally confessed to Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon doesn’t have the energy to retell the story in detail, but Minji probably doesn’t need it.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Although faint, there’s a hint of mischief in her smile.

Thinking this is Yoohyeon’s way of lightening the mood, Minji plays along. “What’s that?”

It takes a moment for Yoohyeon to respond. Be it the fact that the adrenaline is no longer numbing out the pain or the reality of Yoohyeon digesting the idea of exposing the truth because she might not have the chance to do so at their wedding, the younger woman musters up some courage. “You were so upset about all the fog at the top of the mountain.”

Minji giggles out of embarrassment. “Yeah. You tried to make me feel better by saying you saw a shooting star.” She stares out the window. It was barely past noon. If only Minji could wish on a star, she’d pray for Yoohyeon’s safe recovery. “I know you were lying, but you were persistent that you saw it.”

Yoohyeon’s smile is so beautiful yet painful to witness. “You’re right, I didn’t see a shooting star that night.”

She pauses to catch her breath. When she closes her eyes, memories seem to flash in a span of seconds. Yoohyeon does see the day they actually went to see a meteor shower. She remembers wishing how she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Minji. Oh, how unfortunately short that time might end up being. It’s a shame she never got to give Minji the ring she bought considering how their apartment was blasted over like the rest of the neighborhood. Just like the star she bought, the ring was only a form of symbolism in their relationship, but it was better than nothing.

After a long period of silence, Minji caresses her. “Save your energy, Yoo.” She presses a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Rushing back into consciousness, Yoohyeon decides to push through. She opens her eyes. Minji’s face is full of concern. Yoohyeon wishes she could simply wipe away all of her worries, but knows that’s only possible if she were to stay alive, so she tries to stay positive. “Minji, I did see stars that night though.” She reaches towards her girlfriend to caress her cheek. Even if this memory may be short-lived, she wants to ingrain it in her heart along with the other ones that she’s collected throughout the years. They longingly stare into each other’s eyes. “That night, throughout university, through this apocalypse, right now, I still see those stars.”

Minji doesn’t understand Yoohyeon. She doesn’t understand how she can be so gentle and poetic and caring and romantic at a time like this. She doesn’t understand how through all this pain, she tries her best to rid someone else’s.

It breaks Minji’s heart even more.

She grabs Yoohyeon’s hand and gently kisses each knuckle. At a time like this, she wishes she could give Yoohyeon every romantic phrase every language could offer, but when words fail her she does her best expressing herself physically. “I love you.” It’s the best thing she could muster up without falling apart. It’s short and sweet and doesn’t measure up to how she’s feeling, but she knows it’s enough.

Yoohyeon continues, “Your eyes were the first thing I fell in love with. I liked a lot of things about you, but once you finally confessed to me, I allowed myself to dangerously fall in love with you. Your eyes were the first of many things.”

It’s the tip of Minji’s emotional iceberg. Tears break free past her ducts. They don’t go far though. Yoohyeon won’t allow it. She knows Minji hates when that happens. She does her best wiping her tears with her thumb.

Actually, she understands why Yoohyeon is like this.

Just like her, loving her girlfriend was easier than loving herself. Loving Minji was easier than fighting for her own life.

What she doesn’t know is that Yoohyeon has been brainstorming this speech for years. It’s a shame because Yoohyeon wanted to say this at the altar with Minji and all their friends, not while she was bleeding out in a dead friend’s car with two of Minji’s roommates. It’s the best she can do in this apocalypse and as long as said apocalypse is going to last, she’s going to keep wishing she could give Minji the better they deserved.

Minji grabs her hand and kisses each knuckle again, this time a little more slowly and one by one. Yoohyeon is saddened by the fact that she can’t feel the sensation anymore.

The adrenaline is definitely running low. A wave of exhaustion hits Yoohyeon and she’s not sure if she can fight it anymore. “I love you.” Yoohyeon blurts out.

This time, Minji can muster up some words. “I love you, too, Kim Yoohyeon. I love everything about you. I love everything we’ve shared, even this damn apocalypse. I’ll love you ‘til the end of time, even if that may be sooner than later, but you deserve to hear it.” She continues peppering Yoohyeon’s hands with kisses. The words are still not enough, but she knows she needs to say it.

It’s bittersweet. The words are comforting, yet dampen her spirits. At least she knows that Minji will always be there for her. “Hold me?” Even if it were to be the last time?

After staring into each other's eyes for a moment, Minji looks down to check on Yoohyeon’s wound. The most recent bandage has a small peak of blood, but nothing as bad as Yoohyeon's initial gash. A little cuddling doesn’t seem to hurt.

She unbuckles her seatbelt and shimmies closer to Yoohyeon. Not wanting to move Yoohyeon too much, she wraps an arm around Yoohyeon’s shoulders and pulls her close.

They stare at the unmoving tower. It’s not as sparkly as the stars Minji promised that fateful night and Hyunjung’s yelling isn’t as romantic as cicada chirps, but with the way Minji holds her close and whispers her profession of love to her, Yoohyeon falls just like the first time.

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 100

Title: “It's Late”

Features: Irene (Red Velvet) & Solar (MAMAMOO) & Chorong (APink)

Word Count: 1,556

Description: You’re not here with me anymore but I find myself touching the matching tattoos we got when I’m in need of comfort.

Tags: Irene-centric | Grieving | Angst | actress!irene

cw: implied minor character death

Irene hates how cold and dark her apartment is. The vacant living room reminds her to invest in a couch or a futon, but it’s all just a distraction in the form of empty promises. She chooses to live this life, yet she can’t help but hate the silence. 

The rookie actress opens the fridge only to see its contents are the same leftovers she’s eaten for the past 2 days. Wanting something else for a change, she looks to order something online. She’s about to order some malatang, but remembers how Chorong was craving it the last night they were together. It’s an obscure memory, but the emotions rise enough that Irene decides she will no longer get anything delivered. Ramen it is. 

As the water boils, she looks through her emails. Her agent had forwarded her various invitations to award show galas and movie release after-parties. Irene knows she should start attending them again, but she still doesn’t feel sure if she was ready. 

The celebrity knows she has a social status to upkeep and everyone’s waiting for her return to the spotlight. She’s lost track of how much time has passed, but regardless of how high that count is, she isn’t sure if she’s capable of attending such a high stakes event alone. 

Maybe she doesn’t have to go stag. She never did anyways. Changsub could carry a conversation when Irene needed to take a step back. Chorong always warned her that he might need to be supervised when he spots expensive bourbon. Byulyi is another safe option. Irene hasn’t really talked to her since the memorial. 

It’s not the same. Changsub won’t squeeze Irene’s hand after a reporter grills her. Byulyi won’t distract everyone around them with dolphin squeaks of a laugh. 

She aggressively snaps the ramen package in half. The sudden motion causes the plastic bag to open in the middle, allowing the blocks of dry noodles to fall. Irene hisses when the boiling water hits her skin.

The idea of “replacing” Yongsun and Chorong never sat well with her. The instant, internal denial makes Irene feel like she’s emotionally regressing, but she has to remember the baby steps she’s already taken, like settling their shared investments and moving out of their apartment. They were all hard decisions to make all by herself, but Irene did it. 

She still wishes she didn’t.

Irene wishes she could still come home to Yongsun working out in the living room and Chorong preparing dinner in the kitchen. Irene wishes she could complain to her roommates about forgetting to take out the trash. Yongsun will sweet talk her way out of Irene’s annoyance and Chorong will ask her about her day.

The two of them weren’t just people Irene lived with. It might've seemed like that more than 12 years ago when they shared a college dorm together. Their relationship evolved into a friendship with all the classes they shared. They became sisters when they cried about breakups and job rejections. 

That was all taken away from Irene after a phone call with the police and within the white walls of the funeral home. 

Irene has learned to stop blaming herself for what happened, but it’s never been easy for her to cope with her losses. 

She can afford new furniture and try new food and attend important events alone, but the lack of Chorong and Yongsun’s presence manifests into a discomfort she doesn't know how to battle just yet. 

When the ramen is done cooking, she grabs a bottle of soju from the fridge and settles down in her breakfast nook. Irene always thought that this table was too small for the three of them. Irene always thought that with less people, it would take longer for her to consume the leftover alcohol. At an alarming rate, empty bottles easily occupied the empty spaces.

As she waits for her meal to cool down, she browses through social media. She takes a swig out of her bottle before scrolling through comments. 

She doesn’t shine as much as she used to. 

Did she get plastic surgery? 

It’s amazing that she can smile after what has happened.

The actress is no stranger to criticism or hate comments. It comes with the job. Short comments can have different meanings and need context that she’ll never receive.    

People can hate on her as much as they want, but as long as she has a schedule, she couldn’t care less. 

That's what they reminded her then. That's what she tells herself now.

She’s half a bottle in until her emotions finally loosen up. Irene slams her phone on the table and stands up. She marches to her bedroom, disregarding her meal and her device. 

Who is she kidding?

No matter how many positive comments there were, no matter how many jobs she could take, they wouldn't be able to uplift her in the same way her friends once did. 

Irene tries her best to commemorate their support by recalling memories and the words of encouragement that they used. She knows Yongsun would be proud of her new project. She can imagine Chorong telling her to ignore the malicious comments. She'll remember them as much as she can, but falls back to the reality that she has to do this alone.

Nonetheless, she can’t always hold herself up, especially on a particularly low day. 

Fear and stress suddenly engulf her. The intensity of loneliness overwhelms her and it’s times like this when she dearly misses her best friends.  

She thinks about how her counselor tells her how “time will heal” and that “work will be a good distraction”. The accident happened last winter and it's nearing their birthdays. Clearly, it’s not enough time to mourn, yet Irene busies herself with this project since it's been penned in her calendar for nearly a year ago and she needs some income.

To an extent, her counselor is right. The pain from loss doesn’t hurt as much. Irene has stopped feeling guilty for something she can’t control. Nonetheless, it’s hard to cope with the idea of being alone again. Irene knows how to cook her own food and to clean the dishes, but forcing herself to do all these things has been mentally taxing when all she wants to do is curl up in a ball and cry.  

She unbuttons her shirt and shrugs it off. There’s probably a fresh set of pajamas in her closet, but the feeling of Yongsun’s old, plush blanket against her bare skin will ground her.

Irene looks down and smiles at the tattoo on her bicep. The ink was an impulse decision after the three of them landed their first jobs. Time had passed and the shading needed some retouching, but she won’t ever remove the panda or the dragon, even if it had cost her some roles. 

“Why are we getting it on our bicep again?” It’s ironic Chorong whines about it now, considering her tattoo artist is halfway done with the second animal of their piece.

Irene stares at the outline on her own arm. Although she’s pretty committed to the idea, seeing the stencil on her skin intimidated her. Thinking answering her question will rid her cold feet, she responds, “Isn’t it supposed to be the least painful area?” That’s what their tattoo artist advised them.  

Yongsun admires herself in the mirror and flexes her arms. “It’s on my bicep because you two are my strength.” 

Irene rolls her eyes at the corny comment, but smiles. Yongsun initially suggested that they placed their tattoos on the chest, presumably since it’s easy to hide. With that answer, Irene can imagine her actual reasoning is because she keeps them close to her heart. Her friends might be intolerably greasy, but she loved everything about them. 

Another tattoo artist calls Yongsun to the back so they can apply the skin film. With her absence, the room grows quiet, minus the rock music in the background. Considering how tense Chorong looked, Irene knew she should try to distract her.  

“How bad does it hurt?” Maybe she could’ve chosen a different topic, but she knows Chorong will ease up after talking about her feelings.

Chorong exhales and her eyebrows soften. She looks towards Irene and smiles. “It’s not bad, but being stabbed a million times is definitely uncomfortable. 

Irene walks over and grabs Chorong’s other hand. “You’ll get through this.” She looks down at Chorong’s tattoo-in-progress and smiles at the nearly completed dragon and panda. The tattoo artist was starting on the rabbit. “Yong’s dragon is already done!”

Chorong closes her eyes and squeezes Irene’s hand. “I know I will. Pain is just temporary.”

Tears fall down Irene’s cheeks. She’s too exhausted to bawl her eyes out, but she won’t hide the pain. 

Pain is temporary. Irene will be able to move past this. Irene knows that Chorong and Yongsun are still a pillar of strength for her. Nonetheless, she does wish she could be in their arms or hear words of comfort again.   

The positive reinforcement helps Irene’s sleep with less anxiety. The dread of tomorrow feels less intense. 

For now, she’ll seek comfort in the reminder that Chorong and Yongsun will always be with Irene, just like their permanent tattoo memorialized on her skin. 

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 99

Title: “It's Late”

Features: SiDong (Dream Catcher)

Word Count: 858

Description: Handong gets carried away during a late night conversation.

Tags: Domestic Fluff | College AU | Dialogue Focus

Handong sighs after recalling a story from her childhood memory. At this point, she is a little self-conscious about how vulnerable she’s being with Siyeon, but she won’t deny that she enjoys the elder’s company. She only hopes that Siyeon feels the same. 

To ease her anxieties, she looks out the window. The pitch blackness and lack of activity tells Dongie that they’re deep into the night. Once it passes 2AM, her thoughts tend to run wild. The notion seems to extend when she’s talking to people she’s comfortable around. Although she’s still insecure with her Korean abilities, Siyeon has always been a good listener. Besides, Siyeon was the one who asked a question and the exchange student wanted to give a thorough explanation.

Wait a second. Shoot. 

Is it past 2AM? 

Dongie reaches for her phone on her nightstand. She checks the time. 

3:39 AM. 

Her jaw drops. “Oh, my god.” 

Siyeon raises an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? Did you forget you had a deadline or something?”

Handong shoves the phone on her laptop camera. There’s glare, so Siyeon doesn’t quite catch what she’s supposed to see. “It’s almost 4AM! That means it's almost 5AM for you!”

The older woman checks the time. 4:40 AM. She doesn't know where 5 hours went, but tries to act nonchalant. “It seems so.” Admittedly, she’s a little tired, so she can’t think of another response. Even if it was past her bedtime, she felt energized by her girlfriend’s discussion. It’s not everyday she gets to hear Dongie talk so much.

“How are you awake right now? Don’t you normally sleep at like 10PM? I know it’s a Friday, but you told me that you sleep early!

“Geez! I’m sorry for running my mouth. I’m sorry for losing track of time! It’s just that one story led to another and I got carried away and, fuck, did you even get to eat your dinner?”

With the way Handong was acting, Siyeon felt guilty for their prolonged conversation. There were admittedly a few spots Siyeon could’ve stopped her, but something about Dongie’s elevated tone and unusually quick-paced speech convinced herself to just keep listening. Nonetheless, it’s not the problem Hadong thinks it is, so Siyeon just laughs at her girlfriend’s antics 

“Goodness gracious, it’s 4:40 AM. I don’t even stay up this late. I’m so sorry.” She lets out a sound that was between a groan and a whine.

Siyeon cuts her offer with a chuckle. She wonders if Handong knows that, in her delirious state of mind, everything she says is giving her butterflies. Maybe they should go to sleep soon because the rush of emotions is working more effectively than caffeine and they really should get some rest. “Don’t be silly. You don't need to apologize. I wanted to stay up with you.”

"Okay." Dongie suddenly becomes docile again. The sudden shift makes Siyeon let out another healthy laugh. Handong’s mind isn’t that clear, but the melodious sound gives her a sense of assurance that the Korean student likes her as much as she does. Emotions are still running high, but she’ll sleep easy with that assurance in her consciousness. 

Siyeon sighs before staring directly at the camera. There’s a sense of longing because she’d rather be physically with her girlfriend, but she reminds herself that the they'll be graduating soon and the distance between them will soon close. “Hey, I really had a good time tonight. I love listening to your stories.”

The comment isn’t laced with sugar, but it still makes something flutter in Dongie’s stomach. All she can do is hug one of her plushies and hide behind it. Siyeon wants to affectionately laugh again, but knows that it will only further embarrass her girlfriend. 

This time, Dongie sighs, attempting to look chic. Siyeon commends her attempt, but falls in love with her smile. “Alright. Let’s not prolong this call anymore. We should go to sleep.”

Even though her girlfriend is correct, Siyeon doesn’t want to hang up. She wants to talk until sunset. If only, she could forget about laundry plans or the study session she’s supposed to have with Jiyeon.

"I miss you," she blurts out.

There's a hint of sadness in Dongie's eyes. They both try not to say such emotional statements, knowing how difficult it is to process them alone, but Siyeon can't help it.

Dongie stays strong. “Okay. I’m hanging up now.” She makes a face towards the camera.

Siyeon wants to roll her eyes, but can’t even respond to the cute expression. Exhaustion seems to hit her like a truck. “Okay then. Goodnight, Dongie.”

“Goodnight, Singie~” The smile she gives before hanging up imprints in Siyeon’s brain. "I love you." She hangs up without giving Siyeon a chance to reciprocate the affection.

Siyeon gawks at her phone screen. Those three syllables rarely pass Dongie's lips. Her girlfriend definitely said it to retaliate her words of affirmation, but they definitely leave a huge impact. She thinks about responding to her via text, but decides that she needs to ride the emotional high and rolls out of bed to clean up.

----- --

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 98

Title: “Tranquility”

Features: 2jin (Loona)

Word Count: 2,252

Description: Hyunjin experiences neck pain. Heejin provides the relief she needs and finds some herself.

Tags: Domestic Fluff | College AU | Quarantine AU

Hyunjin slams her pencil down and aggressively rubs her face. She can’t focus on her schoolwork because her neck pain has grown exponentially in the past few days. 

COVID-19 has completely screwed with Hyunjin’s athletic career. 

The season was canceled and the gyms were closed. There was always a hope for next year, but Hyunjin wasn’t sure how to cope with the present.

She tells herself that it’s just a longer off-season that she needs to push through the slump. The athlete isn’t a stranger to self-discipline. As a matter of fact, Hyunjin enjoys the days when she goes to the gym alone. However, she can’t just do everything on her own. Loneliness eats away at Hyunjin. Partner drills aren’t the same when against a wall. Encouragement isn’t as impactful when heard through headphones. Following a strict diet is difficult without someone else holding you accountable. 

Nonetheless, Hyunjin tries. She buys herself a weight plate and attempts to go outside everyday. In the beginning, she set up some sort of exercise routine. Now, it’s the fifth week since quarantine has been established and her team has lost a sense of consistency. With strict lockdown rules, Hyunjin is lucky if she gets a run in. Sometimes, she’ll try to squeeze in a home workout, but feels self-conscious of bothering Heejin. 

As a college athlete, going back to the basics has been a rather rude awakening. No fancy equipment. No personal trainers. No scheduling or reservations for facilities. Hyunjin is absolutely on her own. 

In theory, Hyunjin could make do without all these luxuries, but there’s definitely been some regression in her physical condition, which doesn’t help with her motivation or mental health.

Hyunjin shifts in her seat. The folding chair doesn’t provide as much support as the office chair in her room, but she doesn’t want to be tempted by her bed. She stretches her aching neck and feels the stiffness in her muscles. It’s possible she simply slept in a weird position or unknowingly used her neck while doing back and core exercises a few days ago, but it’s more realistic to assume that the athlete isn’t properly stretching. The idea makes her roll her eyes. Hyunjin knows how to stretch and makes sure to do so in her warmups and cooldowns. Is she doing enough of it? Is she targeting the right spots?

She groans in frustration as she kneads her trapezius. Hyunjin furrows her eyebrow as the motion provides little relief. Admittedly, the pain has become unbearable today. Hyunjin can only imagine that a trip to the sauna or some physical therapy can help with the tension. Maybe she should buy some kinesio tape or some pain relief patches—that’s a future problem. Too bad she doesn’t have access to any of that. For now, she tries to power through it. 

“Are you okay? You look constipated?” Heejin offers a playful smirk.

Hyunjin glances up at her girlfriend. Banter is familiar between them. Unfortunately, Heejin is hitting a rather sore spot (no pun intended). The pained student doesn’t really know how to respond appropriately so she just ignores Heejin’s presence. 

Whether it’s from being cooped up together for a long time or being her girlfriend, Heejin picks up on Hyunjin’s annoyance. She grabs a muffin and places it in front of her. “Hey, don’t push yourself too much.” She sits down next to her and leans in. “Take a break with me?”

Hyunjin feels grateful for Heejin’s consideration. After a quick glance at the muffin, she puts her laptop to sleep and pushes it away. 

As she grabs the muffin, Heejin leans in closer and places a gentle peck on her cheek. “How’s your day been so far?”

At first, Hyunjin turns her head towards Heejin, but feels the tension in her neck and decides to shift her whole body towards her. “It’s just another day. Attended a few lectures. I was supposed to study with Sumin and Jihoon, but they haven’t caught up with the recent modules so we rescheduled. Did a little bit of studying.” She shrugs. “Nothing out of the ordinary. How’s your day so far?”

Heejin leans back into the chair, tips her head to the side, and playfully rolls her eyes. “As lackluster as any other quarantine day.” Hyunjin offers a chuckle to the comment. “Didn’t feel like watching any lectures, but I managed to finish my laundry and I completed a few homework modules. I was thinking of getting ahead and starting my music history paper, but I’m feeling a bit winded for the day and I kinda wanna spend time with you.” She reaches over and grabs one of Hyunjin’s hand. 

They’ve only been dating for a few months—one good thing coming out of the pandemic—but Hyunjin doesn’t know if she’ll get used to this greasy side of Heejin. She allows her arm to go imp as Heejin swings it around. After not being able to handle her sweet eyes, she tugs on Heejin’s hand and pulls her towards her.

Hyunjin may be strong, but she doesn’t consider the distance between the two of them. Instead of pulling Heejin into her lap, Heejin nearly falls out of her chair. Luckily for both of them, she finds her balance as she stands up. 

Embarrassed by her action, Hyunjin brings her closer—gently this time—and into a hug. “Sorry,” she mumbles into Heejin’s stomach. 

Graceful as ever, Heejin just chuckles. “You’re fine.” She begins brushing Hyunjin’s hair with her fingers. 

Heejin occasionally mentions that Hyunjin acts like a cat, due to her habits of meowing and keeping to herself. Liking head scratches is something she never thought she’d add to that personality. The sensation is surprisingly rather overwhelming, but in a good way. With the way Heejin’s fingers glide up and down her scalp, Hyunjin feels shivers run down her spine. Unfortunately, they’re sometimes blocked by the soreness in her shoulder, but it’s still relaxing. 

Acknowledging the silence, Heejin slows down her motions. “You doing okay?”

Hyunjin doesn’t appreciate numbed sensitbilities, but knows that she needs to respond to her girlfriend in order to earn it back. She pulls back and looks up. There’s an unpleasant tug at the base of her neck which causes her to contort her face. Seeking alleviation again, she falls back into Heejin’s abdomen. “Can I ask you a favor?”

Now concerned, Heejin restarts her head scratches. “Sure. What’s up?”

After a few more brush strokes, Hyunjin grabs Heejin’s hand and lowers them down her neck. “Can you give me a neck and shoulder massage?”

Heejin scrunches her eyebrows, a little underwhelmed by the request. She scoffs before giving a low chuckle. “Of course.”

Her girlfriend is still leaning her head on her stomach. Heejin feels like she should reposition herself so she can be behind Hyunjin, but the pained athlete in front of her already looks comfortable in that position. 

With one hand, Heejin grabs the base of Hyunjin’s neck and starts kneading. It’s very stiff and this task should probably be done with two hands, but she’ll get there eventually. She wants to ease Hyunjin into the massage. 

It’s not as deep as her regular masseuse, but Hyunjin can definitely feel blood rush to her head. There are a few nicks that Heejin’s hitting and it’s enough pressure to ease the tension that’s been distracting her.

As she decompresses, Hyunjin blissfully sighs. “Thanks, Heej. My neck has been hurting all day. I think if I ignored it for any longer, I might’ve gone insane.”

Heejin chuckles at the exaggeration. She takes a break by collecting Hyunjin’s hair and moving them to one side so she can move down to her shoulders without tugging those beautiful locks “You’re really tense.”

Hyunjin just hums. She thinks about listing the possible causes to her pain, but just focuses on the relief she’s receiving. 

“Can I move behind you so I can properly massage you?”

After basking from the released tension for a few more moments, Hyunjin backs away. Satisfied with the fact that the soreness doesn’t sting as much, she looks up at Heejin and smiles.

Heejin almost gets lost in her eyes. With disheveled hair and a jaded gaze, Hyunjin looks like a child that just woke up. 

“What are you looking at,” she asks innocently?

Not being able to resist her cuteness, Heejin leans down for a quick kiss. Hyunjin chases her lips when she pulls away, but Heejin does feel slightly tempted to take things further, which doesn’t seem fair considering Hyunjin’s current state. The act elicits a frown out of Hyunjin, but Heejin just chuckles at her. “You’re adorable.”

Hyunjin brattily rolls her eyes at the comment. Heejin ignores the reaction and walks around the chair. When Heejin begins kneading again, she finds another knot and puts more pressure on it, inspiring a groan. The sound is rather alarming, but Hyunjin doesn’t jump out of her seat so Heejin takes it as a good sign. 

Another longer span of silence is shared between the two. Ever since the pandemic, Heejin has become more irritant with the lack of noise. Too used to the sounds of heavy traffic or loud chatter on the subway, murmurs beyond the walls and the latest music couldn’t drown out her thoughts. Ambient sounds should help her focus on school, but even quietude had its own unbearable volumes. It isn’t the case right now. Somehow, the buzz from the refrigerator and Hyunjin’s light sighs offer the serenity that was originally intended. The desire for karaoke nights and bike rides on the Banpo Bridge seem to all go away. Heejin can survive the silence as long as she’s with Hyunjin.

Heejin doesn’t know how much time passes, but her forearms and biceps do start to feel a little fatigued. There were still a few tense spots, but she doesn’t think she can get them all today. “Can I take a break? You want to take things to the bedroom?”

Hyunjin slouches back. Since their chairs didn’t have some sort of head support, Hyunjin leaned on Heejin’s stomach again. “We don’t have to continue. I feel much better now.” She looks up and Heejin thinks the sight is rather laughable so she places her hands on both of Hyunjin’s cheeks to squeeze her face. Hyunjin whines in annoyance, but enjoys Heejin’s laughter. It adds color to the room.

After Heejin relinquishes her, Hyunjin turns in her chair and resumes her position on Heejin’s abdomen. “If we go to the room, I’d be tempted to just sleep and I think it’s too early for that. Wanna just cuddle on the couch?”

Heejin bends down to place a kiss on the crown of her head. “I’d love that.”

They make their way to their small living room. Heejin starts up the appliances while Hyunjin makes herself comfortable on her girlfriend’s lap. That probably won’t help her neck pain, but she’ll make sure to sit up once they choose something to watch. Heejin scrolls around one of the streaming services and watches the previews. 

After not being able to find a movie that piques their interest, they settle to watch random Youtube videos. Heejin mindlessly listens to a video essay about instant noodles as Hyunjin pulls out her phone to look up some references made. After losing interest within the first 5 minutes, Heejin decides the video will just be background noise. “Is there anything you want to talk about?” Heejin looks down to see if Hyunjin’s facial features speak for her. “Is everything going alright in school? Did something happen at home? I’ve never seen you so tense.”

Hyunjin, who was surprisingly interested in the background information she just found, takes a while to look up. Concern is written all over Heejin’s face, so Hyunjin decides to shift her attention to her. She sits up and habitually rubs the back of her neck. Heejin takes it as a sign to continue her massage, but Hyunjin politely declines. “Nothing is really out of the ordinary. I think I just pulled a muscle during one of my workouts and forgot to stretch it out. You know that feeling when you’re really sore and it’s hard to focus on anything else? That’s just how I felt right now.” 

“You shouldn’t push yourself too much.” Heejin sighs. “I know you’re missing out this season, but this stupid pandemic will be someday be over and you deserve to rush the field again when that happens.”

“I know. I just sometimes get stuck in my own head. I can’t tell what’s too much or what’s not enough. It doesn’t help that my body doesn’t react for a few days.” Hyunjin bites her bottom lip. She’s back thinking about her insecurities. It’s nice having someone else listen to her though. 

Acknowledging Hyunjin’s concerns, Heejin nods her head. “Do you maybe want to try working out together? I know our workout goals are different, but at least you won’t be alone and you can experience something different. I’ll be busy catching my breath when doing your workouts, but I think slowing down will be good for you. Besides, if you’re crying over a sore neck, pilates would definitely assuage that issue.”

Hyunjin smiles at the suggestion. She’s a little cautious of spending so much time with Heejin in fear that they would get sick of each other, but she thinks she needs this and she might as well accept it while Heejin is offering. “I’d love that.”

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 97

Title: “Child”

Features: Heerry/Heerim? (Loona)

Word Count: 1,142

Preview:

Yerim pulls a tip of her hoodie to cover one eye. “I will allow you one question, my child.” It’s supposed to be an impersonation of Kakashi, but it doesn’t really make sense why she chose that character to parody.

Heejin giggles at Yerim’s poor attempt at a parody and strange choice of words. “What the heck. Am I your child?” She snorts.

Heejin is not her child, but Yerim suddenly thinks about a child like Heejin.

Tags: Domestic Fluff

“Psst, Yerim, are you awake?” Heejin pokes at her girlfriend. She accidentally hits a particularly ticklish spot, causing Yerim to jolt up from her half-slumber. Although startled at first, Heejin giggles at the reaction. “What episode did you fall asleep in?”

From the sudden attack, Yerim turns to Heejin’s hold for close-contact defense. “Sorry. It’s been a long week.” She didn’t mean to fall asleep. Considering Heejin painstakingly watched the entire Harry Potter series for Yerim, the self-acclaimed Gryffindor thought it was only fair to watch her favorite series, Naruto, with her. Despite the short episodes, she didn’t realize how ambitious and tiresome that commitment would be. The combat happens so frequently that it almost turns into white noise. “Gaara and Sasuke were fighting during the Chunin Exam. Gaara like turned into this ball of sand.”

“Oh. I don’t know if you want to rewatch it, but in case you don’t, I’ll just tell you about the results later.” Heejin’s attempt at coming off reliable and resourceful is rather endearing.

As tired as she is, Yerim knows she shouldn’t slip into a slumber, at least not on the couch. If only Heejin’s arm wasn’t so comfortable.

“Hey, I was reading this blogpost online about parallelisms between Naruto and Harry Potter and something from this episode made me think of that. Can I ask your opinion on it?”

Yerim pulls a tip of her hoodie to cover one eye. “I will allow you one question, my child.” It’s supposed to be an impersonation of Kakashi, but it doesn’t really make sense why she chose that character to parody. 

Heejin giggles at Yerim’s poor attempt at a parody and strange choice of words. “What the heck. Am I your child?” She snorts.

Yerim chuckles at the comment. Heejin repositions herself so then Yerim can get dangerously more comfortable. “So the exam was basically rigged by Orochimaru. Someone brought up the Triwizard Tournament. I know these are two different things, but hear me out!”

Heejin begins running her mouth about how the two competitions are “actually” similar. Yerim recognizes her references, but can’t seem to follow her obscure connection. 

Disregarding the mental gymnastics, Yerim is a little stuck on something Heejin asked earlier in the conversation.

“Am I your child?”

Heejin is not her child. Heejin is her girlfriend.

With or without Heejin’s TED Talk about challenging fate, Yerim doesn’t have the energy to push back the image of a baby Heejin. Even more so, she can’t shake off the intrusive idea of having a child like Heejin, of having a child with Heejin. 

A tiny child with so much energy and passion. A cute little girl that you’d give the world to just to see her smile. Does she like to draw? Does she like to dance? Will she try to act like some knight in shining armor where in fact, she’s just a hyper puppy? Will she have that deep voice when she gets older?

“So instead of Cedric being in the Triwizard Tournament, what if it was Draco instead?” 

Will you be obsessed with anime like your mom?

Your mom, Heejin. 

Your mom, me. 

Yerim knows she shouldn’t indulge herself in the idea. They were too young to have kids. Yerim just got a promotion at her job and Heejin had just finished school. The fantasy of a wedding has crossed Yerim’s mind, but the realities of marriage haven't. They haven’t even brought up the topic of a forever together. Why should she allow herself to think about having children together? One milestone at a time, Yerim.

Yerim mentally pockets the idea. They’ll cross the bridge when they get to it. Maybe it’ll be in 3 months when it’s their first anniversary. Maybe it’ll be in five years when they’ve settled in life. Maybe they’ll never have it. 

“Did you fall asleep again?” 

Heejin’s whine seems amplified and chillingly isolated. The lack of background rambling brings Yerim back to reality and wakes her up. She’s a little too flustered to come up with an answer. It’s true Yerim was awake and heard everything Heejin said, but her consciousness was somewhere in this dreamlike realm of the future. Why did her mind go there? Why can’t she talk about it?

A quick thought saves her. It’s corny, but it helps evade everything. “You already asked one question. If you were my child?”

Heejin rolls her eyes while she thinks about a comeback to the technicality. The silence almost lulls Yerim back to sleep. “You didn’t even answer that question?”

Rhetorical or literal, they both had an idea of what the quick answer to that question was. That’s the reason why Heejin ignored it whilst Yerim pushes back her own analyses. 

“I mean, you are my baby.” Yerim thinks this is a great answer. It’s a curveball, a distraction from Heejin’s dissertation that Yerim guiltily did not listen to at all and her own intrusive thoughts. 

It takes a beat, but Heejin squeals from that answer. The high pitch pings straight through Yerim’s head, but she doesn’t have enough time to respond to it as Heejin ambushes her into a ticklish hug. 

“How are you possibly flirting with me when I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you? Isn’t this your favorite franchise? I thought you’d have some sort of opinion on this and I was ready to listen to you and you’re here being greasy?”

The affection is a little too much for Yerim. With the little strength she has left, she manages to get a little bit of space from Heejin. She settled for a hug around her waist and a head on her chest. Even if Heejin could hear or feel her heart racing, it was better than weighted affection on a stomach full of butterflies. 

Honestly, Yerim wants to get out of this situation as soon as possible. She can deal with all the swoons and emotions another day.

“Sorry, I’m a little tired. Can I give you a better answer tomorrow?”

Heejin agrees with a hum. 

When Heejin stands up, Yerim dislikes the loss of warmth. She thinks the light jerk of her arm to sit up is more annoying, but she tolerates it since the comfort of their bed is enticing.

Tonight, Yerim is wrapped around Heejin’s arms. The security a little suffocating, but with how tired she was and how vulnerable she feels thinking about her potential future with Heejin, she welcomes it. 

“Goodnight, my baby.” Heejin presses her lips against Yerim’s forehead. 

Yerim decides to tuck away her thoughts.

------------

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

To the anon who sent a request 40 days ago:

I'M SO SORRY I'VE BEEN IN A WRITING SLUMP AND I BARELY TURN ON TUMBLR ANYMORE SO I NEVER SAW YOUR REQUEST UNTIL NOW.

It's a pretty hefty plot request so I'll see what I can do to make it into a drabble. ^^'

Thank you for sending something in! <3

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 59

Title: “Nightmare”

Features: Wendy (Red Velvet) x SuA (Dream Catcher)

Word Count: 1,750

Description: Bora has a nightmare and Wendy comes to comfort her.

Note: No, I don't actually ship them. This fic doesn’t even focus on romance. I have a long list of group crossovers that I wanted to write and WenSua has been high on my priority list with all their cute interactions.

Tags: Dream Diary, Comfort

“Aren’t you a little too old to be teaching little kids?” One of Bora’s co-dance teachers gives her a mischievous smile.

Bora isn’t one to be sensitive about her age, but she would never let down a fight with Gahyeon, even if she appears to be seven-years-old in this dream.

Dreams are not supposed to make sense.

Bora doesn’t really have time to process that.

Yoohyeon walks into the studio and makes her way towards the two of them. Class is about to start soon and Bora’s fleeting annoyance is causing her to conjure up a wicked idea.

“Is that so?” By the time Yoohyeon reaches them, Bora grabs her hand. “If you’re young enough, then why don’t you teach the class?”

It’s a horrible comeback, really.

Dream-Gahyeon’s face falters. It’s exactly what Bora wants though.

The door opens and students trickle in.

Yerim is the first to enter the classroom. She runs up to the staff. “Gahyeon! It’s going to be a full house today! It should be fun with all these new dancers!”

Bora doesn’t have much time to think. She grabs Yoohyeon’s hand and bolts out of the room.

She’s dragging Yoohyeon throughout the mall. When was the dance studio located in a mall? Dreams really are unpredictable.

Despite this being a dream, all of Bora’s visions seem so vivid. As they pass through Minji’s hot pot stall, she sees Yubin’s panda nursery. She can feel herself deeply breathing, but all she hears is Siyeon’s latest single in the mall stereo. Bora doesn’t make anything out of the strange reverie.

Now that things are reeling, Bora allows her mind to roam. New students are always good. She probably shouldn’t have left Gahyeon alone though. She’s probably going to get fired. Yoohyeon is also probably going to get in trouble.

Nonetheless, her partner-in-crime is laughing along. Bora turns back to her just to see her smile. She can’t decipher if the reaction is swoon-inducing or just contagious, but Bora just clutches on tighter as she winds through the mall.

Even if none of this made sense at all, Bora was experiencing an emotional high and didn’t want to lose it.

So they keep running. Past Joohyun’s campfire training. Through Sooyoung’s fashion show.

Bora is surprised that she hasn’t run out of breath, but reminds herself for the nth time that this is a dream. Deciding to end her illusive marathon, she enters a clothing store and makes her way to the dressing rooms. If someone from the studio was still chasing after her, they for sure wouldn’t find them there, not for a while anyways.

The dressing room is dark. Bora takes it as a warning sign, but ignores it. She can still hear Yoohyeon’s squeals. As ominous as it sounds, she hears footsteps behind her.

Bora eyes the first door. Maybe hiding in the second or third room would be smarter, but hiding was her first priority. Also, the darkness was starting to get to her.

They’re steps away, but then everything seems to slow down for Bora.

The door opens itself. Bora knows there’s probably a monster in there. They still have time to run to the second room.

In spite of Bora controlling her imaginations for a majority of the dream, it seems like she can’t control herself anymore.

Her hand gets closer to the door handle. The hairs on the back of her neck rise. The scream that comes out of Yoohyeon is no longer playful, rather shrill and bloodcurdling.

In an instant, the colorful delusions get lost in this neverending, pitch-black hallway. Bora’s happiness is replaced with impending doom.

She sees the monster and is questionably calm about it. Bora knows it’s too late and she needs to face the monster head on.

When the door opens all the way, she still doesn’t feel fear. This lack of emotion is all Bora can think about.

The monster is tall and lanky—limbs grotesquely long. It’s head is a circular shape and it’s beady eyes are just white orbs. A crooked smile adorns its face and that’s what seems to get Bora.

It gets closer to her and the fear is finally catching up to her. The feeling is so instantaneous that Bora feels like a lightbulb that cracked from excessive heat.

Yoohyeon is no longer there. The mall is gone. It’s just Bora and this monster.

It’s not going to touch me. Bora thinks that she still has control over this dream, but there’s a sense of hesitance.

Did the hesitance govern? Because one second, Bora accepts that she needs to face this head on. The next second, she’s being hoisted into the air by one of the lanky arms.

It won’t yell. Suddenly, the monster opens its mouth and inhales enough for a roar.

When it comes, Bora hears nothing. She only feels absolute fear.

Trying to get out of the grasp, she shakes.

In return, the blanket falls off her body and she feels the cool air of the room.

Bora investigates her surroundings. At least everything looks familiar. The walls of her apartment are adorned with their pictures. She turns to her side and sees Seungwan’s face covered by her bangs.

Clearly, Bora is no longer in a dream. There’s no question about if this was a weird alternate-universe-dream-continuation.

She sits up and feels the aches in her body. Bora definitely was awake.

The clock reads 3:05AM. Bora should definitely go back to bed, but the strange lanky monster is still vivid in her memory. As a matter of fact, Bora could still remember a lot of obscure scenes, like the smell of Minji’s hot pot broth and Sooyoung’s fashion show.

Seungwan stirs next to her. It’s probably best to leave her alone, for she will notice the tense air emitting from Bora.

As quietly as possible, Bora exits the room.

First, she grabs a glass of water. She might have had unlimited energy in her dream, but her heart was still racing and her throat was parched.

She makes her way to the living room and plops on the couch. Thinking about her dream, Bora stares at the opening in the curtains.

Knowing that the memories of her dreams fade away over time, she tries to replay the memory. However, her body seems to be reacting to the fear, so she contemplates that.

Is the monster supposed to represent anything? Why was she so scared of it, even when she felt brave mere seconds before being grabbed? Why did her worst fear come true after all the bliss? Why was she even scared of the monster?

Dreams aren’t supposed to make sense, but she believes that there is some correlation between her real life and the dreamscape.

Why was she with Yoohyeon? Did she subconsciously harbor feelings for her? Why was everyone there except Dongie and Seulgi?

And what a strange mall. Why was there a hot pot stall next to a panda nursery? Wouldn’t it make more sense to just have a zoo in general? It would also make more sense if whatever survivalist class Joohyun was teaching was nearby since it’s related to nature.

This dream is rather perplexing. It’s not normal for Bora to even remember this much from her dreams. Usually, she’ll remember snippets and research them, but these were such specific scenarios that she thinks it’ll be impossible to psychoanalyze them.

For now, she just stares at the light peeking from the curtains. Her body is operating at a calmer pace—unfortunately, not enough to go to sleep, but enough that the lanky monster no longer inflicts a fight or flight reaction.

Bora takes another sip of her water and sighs. It’s a Tuesday morning and she has work in a few hours. Maybe she’ll tell Yoohyeon about it before their meeting (if she even remembers it).

She doesn’t hear the door to her and Seungwan’s room open. As a matter of fact, she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even notice her girlfriend until she appeared in front of her.

Seungwan places herself next to Bora. She leans her head on Bora’s shoulder and wraps her arms around her waist. That vision of the lanky monster is starting to fade away. No more fear. No more mall. Just Seungwan.

“Why are you awake?” Seungwan slur her words. Bora finds it endearing, considering she’s a radio broadcaster that is supposed to enunciate her words well. They’ve been dating for some time now, but she’ll never get tired of small moments that are special only to them.

Bora gently leans into Seungwan and puts an arm around her shoulders. She debates on telling Seungwan about her dream, but as she soaks up her presence, she’s reminded that this is an hour to sleep and the weariness kicks in again.

“I had a nightmare,” she simply says.

Seungwan lifts her head. Through squinted eyes, Seungwan looks at her in concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Bora tries to contain her dolphin-squeak laughter, keeping a low chuckle. “It’s nothing serious. I was honestly just shocked and couldn’t get back to sleep. I came here to grab some water.” She blinks, feeling a weight on her eyelids. “I’ll tell you about it later if I remember. Joohyun-unnie and Yoohyeonie were in it, too. As a matter of fact, almost everyone was there.”

After a beat, she doesn’t receive a response. Bora turns to her girlfriend who was just comfortably snuggled in her lap. She brushes some hair behind her ear. “Are you asleep,” she whispers?

There’s a small whine, causing Bora to smile. This hamster was absolutely irresistible.

“Come back to bed with me.” It’s a simple request, but it makes Bora’s heart swoon.

She looks into the hallway, thinking about how far away their room is. If only it weren’t a weekday, she might choose the lazy option of snuggling on the couch. Remembering how sore and cold they’ll be in the morning, Bora finally musters up some strength.

She pats her girlfriend on the back. “Come on. Let’s go back.”

There’s a few seconds before Seungwan sits up. Bora stands up and when she sees Seungwan still sitting on the couch, she extends a hand.

It’s not that long of a walk back, but Bora nearly plops on the bed. Seungwan naturally wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close.

Bora falls asleep within 15 minutes. She doesn’t dream again.

----- --

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 92-96

Title: “Jury Duty”

Features: HyunHye (Loona)

Word Count: 3,857

After coming home from a long day of jury duty, Hyeju realizes her own sense of happiness in the form of home-cooked meals and bad flirting.

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Slice of Life, Flower Symbolism

Edit: This fic is officially on AO3! Feel free to read it here if you prefer that platform!

Name: Hyeju Son

Date and Place of Birth: November 13, 2001 / Irvine, California

–

It’s Hyeju’s first time serving for jury duty.

Filling out the juror questionnaire was a menial task, a foreshadow to the rest of this experience (at least that’s what Jinsol and Jiwoo said).

–

Are you involved in the hiring or firing of other employees? No.

What are/were the occupations of your parents? Financial Analyst / Proprietor

–

Hyeju used to question her father’s occupation. “Flower shop owner” didn’t really sound professional. Everyone always asked about the legitimacy of it. It’s probably why Hyeju put up a gruff front while growing up.

Teenage angst didn’t really help. Hyeju would be teased for the fact that her dad ran a business in a female-dominated industry. It’s a stupid reason, but kids were mean. She always held it in. She always pushed it back. Why? Because she would go home to a happy and affectionate dad, something many consider a luxury.

When she grew older, she became more accepting of her family dynamic. Her dad tended his gardens while her mom worked an office job in the city. Hyeju always wondered how her dad felt, but never really had the courage to ask. All she knows is that her dad is genuinely happy. Did selling flowers and having a family really give him that much happiness though?

Why did Hyeju’s mind even go there? She needs to complete this stupid form.

–

Do you know anyone on this jury panel? No.

Describe any problems that may affect your service. None.

–

Hyeju sighs. She’s only on the third page of her seven-page application. As much as she doesn’t like her current desk job, she already thinks filling out this form is worse than electronically archiving old drawings.

A lot of her answers are either ‘No’ or ‘Not Applicable’. It almost feels like filling out this questionnaire was just a waste of resources. Considering there are more than 50 people in this room, the overall paper usage doesn’t feel very sustainable. What a shame for a public agency. Geez. Maybe Jiwoo was getting to her.

She finally flips to the next page and that’s when questions read to be a little more interesting.

–

If you or anyone close to you has ever been involved in an accident in which someone was injured, explain: Not Applicable.

Have you or anyone in your family or current household ever been involved with a violent crime that resulted in death?

–

…What the fuck?

Hyeju takes a deep breath. She checks the box for ‘No’, but has an uneasy feeling in her stomach. These questions were supposed to be somewhat case-specific.

The rest of the questions continue to spike her blood pressure, but she forces her to push back the discomfort. This was just protocol. Cases like violence and theft were things she saw on the local news, let alone video games and action movies.

She huffs out some air, almost letting out a sarcastic laugh. There was a question regarding empathy sometime in the beginning of the survey. Like the other questions, she had answered ‘No’ as to being an empathetic person. For some odd reason, the unusual warmth in her stomach seemed to want to change her mind.

Nevertheless, she continues checking the ‘No’ box for the remaining questions. Even if it was unnecessary, she quickly reviews the questions, glancing over that empathy question again. Hyeju knew it meant something more along the lines of emotional bias. The image of Hyunjin pouting because Hyeju didn’t cry during a sad movie seemed to keep her at bay. Though, she won’t admit that the reason why she didn’t cry is because Hyunjin’s dramatic tears seemed more entertaining.

The young adult checks the time, only to realize that she’s spent more than half an hour filling out the form. Even if they were given a full hour to complete the questionnaire, only a few people still had a clipboard in hand.

Hyeju stands up to turn in her paperwork and is given a badge. It’s nothing too official, the badge only being her name and some ID number printed on regular paper. However, it seems to hold some weight to it. This was a real trial with real people and her decision was going to affect their lives.

Welcome to adulthood. No helpful instruction will be given. Good luck and have fun!

She takes a seat on one of the benches and tries to psych herself down. Upon closing her eyes, she thinks of shooting enemies in Call of Duty and holding Hyunjin when she was having a panic attack over the thought of dropping out of school. This wasn’t supposed to be anything worse than that.

What could possibly go wrong?

–

Hyeju trudges into their apartment.

It’s the fourth day since the start of her jury duty and to say she was exhausted was an understatement.

Even if Hyeju’s case was not as drama-inducing as she thought it was, the experience of being part of the jury wasn’t exactly a piece of cake. Besides forcing herself to stay awake from a judge who is somehow more monotonous than her architectural history professors, the constant back and forth from witnesses to lawyers to judges gave her mental whiplash. It’s so hard to form your own opinion when everyone’s stories are clashing with each other. None of the information was presented in a linear fashion so it was difficult to distinguish what parts of the story were legitimate or not. One moment, you think the defendant is guilty with all the details from their story. The next moment, the plaintiff’s lawyer starts interrogating a witness with suspiciously particular questions and Hyeju doesn’t know if she needs to stick with her brain or her gut.

What Hyeju needs is not to think about this trial anymore.

“I’m home,” Hyeju nearly groans out. She doesn’t hear a response, but there’s something whirring in the kitchen. On days like this, she secretly thinks of her dad, some sort of servient partner to help take off her coat and take her bag. As she puts her coat on a hanger, the feelings go away. She could never imagine Hyunjin like that, nor does she think she could handle seeing a Hyunjin like that.

As she walks down the hallway, she gently rubs her neck whilst stretching it in circular motions. Sitting still in the jury box for nearly 8 hours isn’t exactly comfortable. She starting to take for granted Jiwoo’s ergonomic, ball chair (which was actually Jinsol’s weird, MacGyver-ed experiment since an actual ball chair is stupidly expensive, especially considering their salaries). From all of this discomfort, she wonders if an hour’s worth of teasing is worth a back massage from Hyunjin.

Speaking of chairs, Hyeju decides to forgo one as she leans against the counter, right next to a bouquet of blue and purple flowers, probably sent in from her dad today. The daughter of the flower shop owner mindlessly identifies the different blossoms: hydrangeas, forget-me-nots, Hyeju doesn’t recall the exact meanings of each flower, but it definitely has to do something with love.

And speaking of love, Hyunjin still hasn’t greeted her. Actually, Hyeju doesn’t really mind as much. For now, she’s in the mood to silently admire her girlfriend.

Hyunjin’s back was towards her. She dons athletic shorts and a simple tank top. Her usually long, black hair was tied up into a messy bun. Despite the steam and the roaring oven fan, she looked serene as she cut up some vegetables.

Hyeju smiles to herself. It still puzzles her how the two ended up together. Her previous girlfriends were more on the feminine side, someone smaller and cuter. One of her ex-girlfriends dubbed her as the “alpha-wolf” in the relationship, a cringy term Hyeju reluctantly agreed with. The younger of the two used to enjoy video games as a hobby, but after two relationships that centered around it, Hyeju tried to exert her frustrations through a sport, ironically where she met the personal trainer who would eventually become her girlfriend.

Hyunjin Kim was definitely smaller and cuter than Hyeju, but sometimes Hyeju forgets that she is. As she stares at Hyunjin’s broad shoulders, she remembers the beginnings of their pining where Hyunjin would quite literally carry Hyeju back to the locker room after a difficult workout. (Albeit, after gaining some muscle, Hyeju may have been “passing out” on purpose, not that Hyunjin minded carrying her.)

Although one might think that cooking is a task stereotypically cast on females, Hyunjin’s culinary talent transcends the domestic setting. One upon a time, their camping group had been split up. Hyeju and Hyunjin’s van made it to the site, but the other car, conveniently holding all the camping materials, broke down a few kilometers away from the campsite. Before hearing any news about the broken down car, Hyunjin took initiative to start a fire (rather, she was persistent in showing off her survival skills, which Hyeju did find impressive) and set up a few fishing lines. Not only did Hyunjin brave the 5 kilometer hike to and from the car, but when she got back, her lines were taut. That night, she prepared and steamed a (rather delicious) meal for the group. Hyeju hates how inflated Hyunjin’s ego was, but admits that she deserved her main character moment for essentially saving their group of friends.

Maybe being so different from Hyeju’s expectations is what makes Hyeju like Hyunjin so much. It’s easier to embrace her softer and more docile side to Hyunjin. There isn’t some “alpha-wolf” personality to upkeep. Even if there was, she likes that Hyunjin has a chunk of it, too. It wasn’t just Hyeju’s stolen, oversized beanies and hoodies, but also boots and cardigans shared between the both of them. (Now that she thinks about it, didn’t Hyunjin give her that tank top for her birthday last year?) Hyeju appreciates that she didn’t have to always take the lead, especially with Hyunjin being the older of the two. Roles and personalities were shared between the two and that’s what makes Hyeju comfortable.

(Just for brownie points, Hyunjin also had a knack for flower-arranging, even with Hyeju’s high expectations. Who knew that’s something she holds high value over?)

Hyeju sighs and checks the time. She thinks she’s simping over Hyunjin because it’s late, but the truth is that it’s only a quarter past 6. It’s a little irritating that after 10 minutes, Hyunjin has yet to properly acknowledge her presence, but her cooking is probably mentally demanding. To be fair, the two usually act as independent beings and Hyeju genuinely appreciates that about them.

Deciding that 1) she wants attention and 2) she needs to take initiative to receive said attention, Hyeju pushes herself off the counter and makes her way to her girlfriend.

Even in the privacy of their apartment, Hyeju was still awkward with physical affection, but at least Hyunjin was, too, so there wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. The fan gets louder when you get closer to it, so it’s no surprise when Hyunjin jumps at Hyeju wrapping her arms around her waist.

“I didn’t know you were here!” It seems like she’s yelling, but Hyeju ignores it and lays her chin on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

With the broth still boiling, Hyunjin must focus on the last step of her recipe: cracking eggs. For now, Hyunjin eases into the hug. No words were said between the two, not that they had much to say with Hyeju’s rare backhug making a statement.

Hyunjin perfectly cracks the first egg, but when she tries to show off by cracking the other with one hand, it spills on the side of the pot and she has to fish out some shell shards with her chopsticks. Hyeju chuckles at Hyunjin’s antics. They’re definitely stupid, but she’s finds Hyunjin’s failed attempts of impressing her to be endearing.

With the lid on the pot and the fire on low, Hyunjin turns off the fan. She notices that Hyeju is still clutching onto her rather tightly. In attempt to assuage the tension, she places a hand over hers and gently rubs her knuckles with her thumb. “How’s jury duty today?”

Truth be told, Hyeju nearly forgot that was the reason why she was so tired. Thinking about how reliable Hyunjin has been and having her in her arms seems therapeutic enough. She sighs and closes her eyes as she nuzzles into Hyunjin’s neck a little more. “Tiring.”

Hyunjin hums. “The stew should be done soon. It only needs to simmer for another 10 minutes.” She turns to the side. Hyeju doesn’t turn her head, but she barely sees Hyunjin lean in for a quick peck on her temple. “I hope you’re not too hungry.”

Pretending that her stomach is squirming because of the food and not from Hyunjin’s kiss, Hyeju changes topic. “Sujebi?” She eyes the dish in front of her. “No more diet?”

The personal trainer just laughs. “We can have a cheat day every once in a while. I know you like kimchi.”

Hyeju smiles, unknowing that Hyunjin can feel it. “Yeah, but don’t you eat your weight in bread for your cheat days?”

Rolling her eyes, Hyunjin still smiles. “You can have my noodles.” Reaching the drawer for some utensils, she takes notice of how clingy Hyeju is. “Seems like some good comfort food.” She dips a ladle in the broth and blows on it before testing the taste.

When Hyunjin goes for another spoonful, the ladle is brought up to Hyeju’s mouth. Hyeju doesn’t need to test it to know that it tastes absolutely divine, but she knows it’s Hyunjin’s way of showing affection so she opens her mouth to taste it. The spoonful was a little hot, but it at least warmed her up. “Yerim used to say the same thing about sujebi. She didn’t even like spicy food. I never understood that about her.”

Still in Hyeju’s hold, Hyunjin reaches to the nearest cabinet and pulls out two bowls. “Maybe it’s because it makes people feel warm and something about the relief after the pain can be cathartic.”

That’s another thing about Hyunjin. For the most part, she isn’t too sensitive. The mention of past relationships doesn't put her off. “Kinda reminds me of one of your workouts.”

Hyunjin scoffs. Okay, maybe she does get a little sensitive, but to be fair, Hyeju is taking a jab at her work and favorite hobby. “Maybe you wouldn’t be in so much pain if you just worked out regularly.”

This time, Hyeju rolls her eyes. She thinks Hyunjin should be thankful that she attends her classes just as another excuse to see each other. (Yeah, she should go for herself, but as someone who hates working out, additional motivation is needed.) Nonetheless, she backs down and internally admits that she probably should be going in more often, especially if she has free access to Hyunjin’s gym.

Hyunjin loosens Hyeju’s grip so she can grab some previously made side dishes in the fridge. Hyeju dislikes the lost warmth and dumbly stands with a slouch as she watches Hyunjin dance around the kitchen.

“Any updates on the trial? Did you figure out the murderer? Did they find the weapon?” Hyunjin starts plating radishes and fried tofu.

Not wanting to be useless, Hyeju grabs a set of plates before bringing the bowls and utensils to their dining table. She chuckles at Hyunjin’s interrogation. There isn’t any murderer. Death wasn’t involved in this case, but it was potentially a motive for what actually happened. The weapon was found long ago, but it wasn’t really something that needed to be found.

Unfortunately, the case is still confidential. Hyeju isn’t even sure if she was allowed to share the vague information she gave Hyunjin.

Although she’s an introvert, she does hate keeping this to herself. Besides wanting a second opinion on figuring out who’s really right or wrong, Hyeju needs to let out some of her emotional distress from the details of the case.

“I’m telling you, I think the defendant is scheming all of this. They’re the actual murderer and they’re just framing the plaintiff.”

Hyeju thinks whatever court case in Hyunjin’s head is much more exciting than what’s actually happening. Maybe she wouldn’t be falling asleep every other hour, but the photo evidence would probably be more unbearable.

Hyunjin is pushing her to a seat. “I bet the defendant even knows where the body is. No wonder the main witness had such a long story to tell. The whole case is going to turn upside down when the eyewitness comes in.”

Food is on the table and Hyeju’s stomach growls from the aroma, yet her eyes latch onto Hyunjin’s animated storytelling a little longer. She thinks Hyunjin has been watching too many action movies, but maybe she’s to blame since she’s been introducing her to movies inspired by the video games she’s been playing.

“I can’t wait until this trial is over so I can tell you about it.” Hyeju offers a soft smile.

Unfortunately for her, Hyunjin can read through jaded eyes. She knows this is not the time to make a deal out of it. Instead, she just places some food on her plate. “Eat. Burn your tongue so you can feel the comforting warmth.”

Hyeju smiles at the rather abrasive command. She reaches over and grabs Hyunjin’s free hand. “Nothing beats the warmth I feel from your tongue.”

Hyunjin immediately looks up and pulls her hand away. Hyeju expects a blushed face, but instead receives a look of disgust. “Don’t ruin my appetite. I worked hard on this meal.”

Not wanting to be further scolded, Hyeju scoops some of Hyunjin’s home-cooked food and immediately grabs a spoonful of the broth. There’s definitely a kick from the spice, but the burn did feel good. The furnace in her body starts up and she’s probably going to have to take her jacket off soon. She can already feel a sweat coming on and imagines the cool relief after they’re done eating. To slow down the burn, she nabs a dumpling with her chopsticks before plopping in her mouth.

She’s three mouthfuls in before she realizes her girlfriend hasn’t touched her own food. “Are you not hungry?”

Hyunjin just smiles. “You seem to be enjoying my food.”

Even if her normal facade has been chipping away all night, she refuses to let all of her defenses down. Reaching over, she grabs Hyunjin’s bowl so she can fill it. “Tastes a little different though.”

The statement causes Hyunjin to raise her eyebrows. “Different? How so?” She takes the bowl that Hyeju had prepared for her and is delighted to see a lot of vegetables and a few pieces of noodles that were intentionally placed there.

Hyeju crosses her arms and sits back, eyes scrunched with contemplation. She doesn’t know where the energy for the theatrics came from, but she’s eager to see Hyunjin’s reaction. “Did you add a different ingredient? Maybe try a different brand?”

Like the curious cat she is, Hyunjin tips her head to the side. Hyeju is overly amused and thinks she might crack. She plops a noodle in her mouth and chews thoroughly. Hyunjin mirrors her.

Hyeju wonders how long she can prolong her gag before a smile creeps on her face.

She really loves Hyunjin.

She loves her cooking. She loves her hugs. She loves that she can take a joke. She loves how reliable she can be. She loves how versatile she is.

She loves coming home to Hyunjin.

She loves loving Hyunjin.

Is love and happiness really that simple? Is it that unapologetic?

“I know what it is.” She claps her hand and hovers them over her bowl. The two stare at each other. By now, Hyunjin is suspicious of her smile. “You made this with love, right? I can really taste it.”

It doesn’t take long for Hyunjin to roll her eyes and lean back in her chair.

Hyeju contentedly smirks at Hyunjin’s rosy cheeks. “You have to admit, that one was a good one.”

Hyunjin scoffs, still not making eye contact with her. “You’re so greasy.”

Hyeju shrugs. “It’s a good thing I’m not cooking or I’d burn down the whole complex.”

This time, Hyunjin smacks her forehead. “You’re so lame." She sits up again and shakes her head before grabbing a sliced potato. “And for the record, I make all my food with love!”

Hyeju concedes. “Okay. You’re right.” She takes another spoonful, slurping loudly to emphasize how much she was enjoying her food. “But really though, thank you for this. This court case—,” she pauses to shake her head. “It’s… really difficult. Like these are real people that got seriously hurt and I still don’t know who’s right or wrong and it scares me that I might make the wrong decision. It scares me that this happens to real people.” She hates that she keeps repeating phrases, but the weight of reality is still hitting her.

Upon seeing a distressed girlfriend, Hyunjin reaches over and grabs her hand. It seems to get Hyeju out of her darkened trance. She repeats what she did earlier and rubs her knuckles with her thumb. “I think that even if you make the wrong decision, it’s not your fault. It’s the lawyers and witnesses that make a convincing case and the judge makes a decision. You still have like a week’s worth of jury duty that you have to endure, so don’t worry about not understanding everything yet.”

Hyeju nods and bites her lip. The case was nowhere near “convincing”. As a matter of fact, the complexities were what was causing stress to the poor jury attendee. She sighs again, forcing herself to shut her mouth. “I just really wish I could talk to you about this case.” Maybe Hyunjin’s clear head could simplify things. Maybe she could finally convince her to go with her gut instead of her head.

Hyunjin squeezes her hand, causing Hyeju to look up at her. “Well for now, just keep eating my food and then when your trial is over, you can spill all the tea about the murderer and the spy and where they buried the murder weapon.”

The remark is enough to get Hyeju out of her haze. She decides she’ll drop the topic for the rest of the night and instead swoon over her girlfriend instead.

Hyunjin feeds her a piece of kimchi. Hyeju gratefully accepts it.

They continue their meal in peace. Hyeju doesn’t really understand why she’s feeling so affectionate, but doesn’t deny the serotonin anymore.

She’s two bowls and three cucumber slices in, when Hyeju begins to understand her dad a little more. The simplicity of happiness. Being able to freely express herself. The amount of love he gave his wife. The type of love she received. Hyeju wants to give that to Hyunjin.

“Stop staring at me.”

Hyeju won’t.

Hyunjin doesn’t actually mind.

------------

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 55

Title: “Stay With Me”

Features: Jidong (Dream Catcher)

Word Count: 1,287

Description: Minji makes a proposition that brings their relationship to new levels.

Tags: choreographer!minji X idol!handong, Fluff, Yearning

An alarm wakes both of them up. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Dongie just has it because if not, she would have a hard time getting out of bed later. It seems that her phone was somewhere on the ground. After she retrieves the device, she snoozes it and crawls back into bed with her girlfriend.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” Dongie snuggles closer.

Their time was limited. Soon, the Chinese celebrity would have to go to her own home. She has a busy schedule and she needs to clean up and change her clothes.

Minji, her choreographer, takes a deep breath. She’ll see Dongie at dance practice later today. That used to curb her desires, but as time went by, she wanted to spend as much time with her as she could.

Another alarm rings on Minji’s bedside table. Irritation broils within her. After a few shared breaths, Dongie pulls away, only for Minji to pull her back.

“Stay with me, even for just a little bit.”

At the gentle words, Dongie giggles and plants a quick peck on Minji’s chin. “I will. Just let me snooze my alarm.”

Minji sighs as she loosens her grip on her girlfriend. Dongie reaches over, placing her entire weight on Minji.

The elder tolerates it. Despite the feeling being uncomfortable, it was still intimate. In fact, she could almost fall asleep if only her diaphragm wouldn’t cave in every time she breathed out.

That’s when she realized that Dongie was still looking at her phone. Her tired eyes are already glued to the screen as she scrolls through something, probably a text from her manager.

Annoyed at the fact that it was an indication of their reality, Minji pats her girlfriend’s behind. “Yah. I can’t breathe.”

Finally pulling her gaze away, Dongie smiles at her girlfriend. “Wow. Am I that pretty that I take your breath away?” She puts her phone back down and slides back down to her original spot.

Minji does not want to inflate her ego, especially so early in the morning, but she couldn’t help it. “You are very pretty, even without makeup and a few pimples.”

Dongie clicks her tongue at the comment, but Minji just pulls the sheets over them again.

They’re settling in between this state of consciousness and unconsciousness. Dongie’s thinking about what outfit she’s going to wear today and if she should drink coffee before or after her first event. Minji would probably cave into the darkness if only the intense feeling of guilt would go away: the fact that Dongie has to sneak out to stay with her, the way she has to lose a few more hours of sleep so she can go to her own apartment to get ready. The only thing calming her down is the feeling of Dongie’s lower back against her fingertips and her breath on her neck.

If only… things could be easier for her.

Dongie already has to sacrifice a lot to be an idol. Is there a way she could ease some of her burdens?

She’s still half-asleep so she can’t think of anything coherent. In truth, she’s thought about this for a while but hasn’t managed to come up with a reasonable plan. At this moment, all she can visualize is her half-empty closet and the pot that Dongie brought a few months ago that she never returned.

That ringing alarm cachophincally sings again. Minji groans because she thinks she was just about to fall asleep. This time, she slips a hand out of the covers and grabs Dongie’s phone to snooze the alarm. Dongie smiles because waking up like this was like a habit. Sadly, this meant only one more snooze until she really had to leave; Seven more minutes with Minji.

On this particular day, Minji couldn’t fall back asleep. It’s taking a few minutes, but she’s collecting her thoughts and some courage to bring up an idea.

“Han Dong,” Minji pulls away to look her girlfriend in the eyes.

Dongie innocently looks into Minji’s eyes. It’s not every day she hears her full name and every time she does, she’s usually in trouble.

Sensing the uneasiness, Minji lets out a soft smile. Dongie does seem to relax at those crescents. “Minji.”

The simple interaction makes her guts twist. Minji reaches over her waist and pulls her close. She places her chin on top of Dongie’s head as they ease into their cuddling position. Her heart flutters thinking about the proposition she wanted to make. She wonders if Dongie could feel it. The situation makes her want to run away, but she’s already under the covers with Dongie. At least, she’s not facing her anymore. The rejection could hurt a little less.

The words are almost lost in the back of Minji’s throat and floating into her half-consciousness.

She tells herself she doesn’t need to say it now. Minji can think more about it.

However, the silence is deafening and if she doesn’t speak what’s on her mind, it’ll haunt her even more the next time they’re cuddling like this.

It slips out of her mouth. They’re slow and muffled, but once she started, she couldn’t stop.

“Move in with me.”

At first, there wasn’t a response. Panic rose within Minji. Why did she ask for something so rash when that wasn’t even on her mind?

(She won’t admit it for now, but it’s something she wants.)

A hand slithers up her body. She catches it with her own hand, interlocks them, and pulls away to look at her girlfriend.

There’s a look of fear in Dongie’s eyes.

Minji understands. This is a big step for them. Maybe she can figure out baby steps for them.

“It doesn’t have to be all at once. Maybe just leave some clothes and your toothbrush here. You can bring your coffee roaster. Actually, I’ll just buy one and learn how to use it. Your company pays me well anyways.”

It’s a lot to take in, but the celebrity doesn’t really get the chance to think as her alarm rings for the fourth and final time.

Minji rolls her eyes and lays on her back. Dongie chuckles at her foolish girlfriend as she reaches over to grab her phone.

There’s a slight awkwardness between them. The request looms over Minji’s head. If she wasn’t preoccupied by the messages on her phone, Dongie would give it more thought.

Knowing she needs to get on with her day, Dongie slips out of Minji’s bed and stretches her arms. Minji consoles herself by staring at Dongie’s silhouette. No matter what the outcome was, she was honored to know that she was one of few people that witness such exclusive beauty.

As she slowly wakes up, she places her hands on the side of the bed and takes a few breaths. “I’ll talk to my manager about it.”

Since she couldn’t see her face, Minji couldn’t read her. She slightly sits up and reaches over to grab a hand. Dongie turns her face to her and offers a comforting smile.

“Please don’t feel pressured to do this. I’m offering because I feel bad that you have to go back and forth a lot when you could be resting.” Minji lightly draws circles around Dongie’s knuckles with her thumb. It helps soothe both of them.

“It’s okay. I agree. Plus, it’s lonely in my apartment.”

Dongie wants to hold on for a little bit longer, but she really has to go. She lets go of Minji’s hand and the both of them get out of bed.

Minji leads her to the door and after a kiss goodbye and a promise to see each other later.

-------

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 54

Title: “Summer Night”

Description: I was learning about sprinkler systems and this popped in my head.

Features: HeeChuu (Loona)

Word Count: 1,142

Tags: Cavity-Inducing Fluff

The summer air was complemented by the sounds of crickets chirping and grassy footsteps.

The gate to the soccer field creaks loudly. Even if no one was there to catch them, Jiwoo let out a high-pitched gasp. The reaction kicked in Heejin’s flight senses, but she pushed them back and playfully shushed Jiwoo. The rest of her adrenaline escaped through hushed giggles.

Hands locked, the two race towards the middle of the field. Heejin didn’t get it when Hyunjin gave her the idea. They run on the field everyday for practice. What difference did it make when they played around after hours?

Jiwoo.

That’s what the difference was.

That’s the only difference that matters anyways.

Too used to the feeling of cleats digging into the soil, running in regular canvas shoes felt scandalous (similar to how they’re sneaking in). It was embarrassing how often Heejin slipped, but Jiwoo held onto her tightly. She always did.

The friction in the rubber soles of Heejin’s shoes finally fail her and she eventually trips. Jiwoo follows after her into a loud and undignified thud. The wind is knocked out of Heejin and there’s a slight throbbing sensation in her ankle, but Jiwoo’s giggles distract her from any pain.

“Sorry,” Jiwoo whispers.

Heejin grimaces. “It’s okay.”

She meant it.

The two decided not to get up and comfortably laid in the grass. It felt refreshingly cool in comparison to the hot air. Jiwoo repositions herself so she’s next to the Heejin instead of on top of her. Heejin grabs her hand and Jiwoo habitually interlocks their fingers.

The stars are dim, but it’s enough for Jiwoo to connect the dots and fabricate silly constellations. She points somewhere in the air. “That one looks like a bunny.” Her fingers brush along the sky. “And it’s right next to a penguin!”

Heejin doesn’t see it, but she turns her head towards her girlfriend and smiles.

Seeing Jiwoo so happy just made her so happy.

It was stupid because puppy love was supposed to be for teenagers. It was stupid because all they’re doing is laying in the middle of the soccer field and stargazing. It wasn’t an anniversary or the last day of summer. They were just together.

It was just the two of them.

Maybe that’s all that mattered.

Heejin looks back at the stars. Hyunjin was right. Even if they didn’t know anything about astronomy and the sky wasn’t clear, it was relaxing to look at. Being in an open and empty field, the sky being your only surroundings—it was rather freeing. To think she could share this feeling with Jiwoo. She’d have to thank Hyunjin later for the tip.

“That one looks like you!” Heejin thinks she’s foolish for playing along, but something about the atmosphere makes her feel like she can’t help it.

Jiwoo scoots her head closer. Heejin can feel her warmth. It’s different from the summer ambience. It smelt like apples and reminded her of cuddles. “I don’t see it.” It’s entertaining how she tries. They really were two fools in love.

Heejin points up and giggles. “Look! It’s got your sparkling eyes and goofy grin. It even has that big forehead of yours.”

At the playful attack, Jiwoo sits up. “Heekie!” She then starts tickling her.

Forgetting they could get caught, Heejin didn’t hold back on her laughter. She tried to grab Jiwoo’s hands, but Jiwoo was too fast.

Heejin sits up. After a huge laughing fit shared between the two, she finally manages to get a grip on Jiwoo’s hands. They lock gazes as they concentrate on catching each other's breaths.

Everything seems still. Heejin doesn’t want to say that the world stops because that’s impossible, but it’s quiet and Jiwoo is the only thing she can focus on despite existing in this big, big world.

Despite the dusky sky, Jiwoo seemed to be glowing. It’s her smile that Heejin hooks onto—her lips to be exact. She feels her heart slowing down as she leans in.

When Jiwoo realizes what Heejin is doing, she closes her eyes. By the time they're a breath away, Heejin mirrors the action.

Heejin can only think about how soft Jiwoo’s lips are when they are against hers. It matches her personality. Jiwoo is a bubbly person; she’s warm and affectionate. When she’s lacking confidence, she’s fragile and sensitive. She has her rough edges—having a 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo and a megaphone for her voice—but with the way she carried herself, those edges seemed smoothed out.

She’s lost in the kiss. It feels perfect and romantic even though they are just at their practice field and today was just an ordinary day. Heejin doesn’t get why everything feels special and she makes lazy attempts at trying to figure it out, only to stray further away from logic and closer to her heart.

It was just the two of them.

Maybe that’s all that mattered.

In fact, Heejin is so lost to the point that she didn’t feel the warm droplets or hear the hissing of the sprinklers. All she felt was Jiwoo abruptly pulling away and squealing.

Heejin is being pulled up and momentum nearly makes her fall down again. Jiwoo has that tight grasp on her hand as she tries to lead them off the field.

She’s dumb in love and wants to bask in the feeling a little longer, so when Heejin finds her balance she pulls Jiwoo back.

“Heekie! What are you doing? The sprinklers are on and if we stay here any longer, we’re going to be soaked!”

Heejin doesn’t really hear the second sentence, mostly because the sprinklers were really loud. Also, she decides to pull Jiwoo in for another kiss. This time, it’s a little more passionate—still soft thanks to Jiwoo.

Arms are tightly wrapped around each other’s waists, similar to how wet fabric clings on their skin. It’s ironic how in this open field, Heejin now feels so close to Jiwoo. She feels like her lungs are on fire, but she blames it on the hot air evaporating from the soil mixed with warm mist.

Growing weary of the humid atmosphere, Heejin pulls away. Jiwoo chases after, but Heejin just runs away from her.

Jiwoo reaches her hands out as she attempts to grab her. Heejin tauntingly holds out hand. Once their hands lock again, the chase fluidly transitions into a race together—kinda like how their relationship turned out.

Heejin forgets to lock the gate when she leaves. Oh, well. Hyunjin can deal with that later.

The two stand in front of Heejin’s car, hunched over while gasping in the fresh air. Water drips from their clothes and Heejin reminds herself to pack towels and extra clothes for emergencies like this.

“Sorry,” Heejin says, no longer needing to whisper.

Jiwoo grimaces. “It’s okay.”

She meant it.

-----

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

HAPPY 2021

howdy doo~

Happy New Year everyone!

2020 may be over, but I’m going to continue writing for this challenge until my 366 days are over! It’s been a positive experience challenging myself to write something and even if it’s tiring or I don’t like the work that I put out, I learn something new about myself and I feel proud for letting my one-shots see the light of day rather than letting it collect dust in my neverending collection of prompts and drabbles. 

I don’t know when or if I’ll complete the challenge, but for now, I’m going to keep the mindset of not being afraid to write whatever I want to write. My tumblr blog sometimes seems like an empty stadium, but it’s a place that I can safely feel vulnerable and take risks as a writer without the fear of embarrassing myself from failure. 

As a reminder, you are still able to make requests through tumblr Asks, Curious Cat, or the Google Form Questionnaire. Please make sure to read the Request Guidelines first. All request forms can be anonymous. 

Updates will be less frequent because I have a job again, but I will strive to complete this challenge to the best of my ability. Thank you for supporting any of my work whether it’s simply reading, or even liking and subscribing to multiple works. In 2020 alone, I’ve improved a lot as a writer and I’m glad to see that some people have witnessed it. 

Hope to see you in future stories this year! 

Stay safe and healthy! Hope the new year brings better moments in your life!

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 53

Title: “It’s Cold”

Description: Jinsol is feeling cold after realizing her feelings for her fuckbuddy.

Comments: I actually wanted to make this Lipsoul angst, but I realized that I never wrote any Yvesoul yet so here it is. Loosely based on the song, “It’s Cold” by Epik High feat. Lee Hi. 

Features: Yvesoul (Loona)

Word Count: 2,166

Tags: Domestic Angst (is that a thing?) | Friends with Benefits

cw: food / cooking // implied sexual references

It’s 4AM and Jinsol’s legs were sore, but she can’t sleep…

... especially with the body next to her. 

She untangles their limbs and swings her legs off the bed. The air is cold against her naked body, but she simply shakes it off with a shiver.

Nothing compared to the coldness in her heart anyway. 

As she grips on the edge of the bed, Jinsol tries to organize her thoughts. They were jumbled partially because she’s slowly regaining consciousness and partially because they were already scattered among gray areas and blurred lines. 

She doesn’t want to organize her thoughts. If she does, maybe she’ll find some clarity; maybe she’ll figure out her feelings. 

Jinsol doesn’t know much, but she knows those feelings are trouble. 

In the back of her head, oddly where her thoughts are the clearest, she knows that she needs to sort things out sooner or later. Otherwise, they’d explode into a greater mess. Still, the usual idea of ignoring it and pretending everything is okay entices her. 

She’s not supposed to be organizing her thoughts. 

It’s just sex.

Or so she thought. 

Sooyoung tosses in bed, probably searching for warmth. Jinsol glances from over her shoulder, making sure her friend was still asleep. Luckily for Jinsol, Sooyoung’s back was now facing her, pulling the comforter closer to her. 

There’s a part of Jinsol that wants to get back to bed, to provide her the warmth she was looking for. 

It’s horrible because she knows that they both want it, however, it seems wrong. 

She knows why it’s wrong and she strongly detests how things turned out that way.

It’s only natural and this is the only time Jinsol hates nature. 

Jinsol knew she had to leave. Even if this was her apartment, she couldn’t be in the same room any longer. 

She quietly stands up and grabs a hoodie amongst the scattered clothing on the ground. Her gait is feather-light, despite the soreness. There’s a click when Jinsol opens and closes the doors, but Sooyoung doesn’t seem to stir. 

It’s pitch black outside, but she’s memorized the layout. (If she can navigate the room with her eyes closed and with Sooyoung’s legs wrapped around her hips, then she can definitely navigate through the dark.) 

For a moment, she sits on the couch, but then memories of last night and previous nights tend to spill over and Jinsol wonders how long this has been going on and how much longer it’s going to last. She vigorously rubs her face in an attempt to wake herself up, but all she can think of is the woman in her bed, and the fact that she might have feelings for her. 

As a distraction, she makes her way to the kitchen. She decides to cook breakfast and maybe by then, she’ll exhaust herself and pass out on the couch. Maybe Sooyoung will sneak out and Jinsol can wallow in her own thoughts. 

She opens the cupboard and finds pancake batter. As she reaches for the top shelf, she finally feels some of the knicks and knots in her neck and back. Pancakes sound too laborious, especially at 4AM, but Jinsol didn’t care. Focusing on measuring would take her mind off things. 

Except, they don’t. 

Jinsol spends a total of four minutes and 36 seconds measuring a cup of the premade batter and half a cup of water. She stalls by using only one measuring cup and by making sure the batter was flush with the top of the cup, but to no avail, the three scoops were over. Cracking an egg was child’s play for her. 

Next, she had to mix the batter. Sure, she tried to be as clean and as quiet as possible, but the repetitive rotations just hypnotized Jinsol even more. 

You’re making these pancakes for Sooyoung. 

Okay, be a little logical, Jinsol. You’d make pancakes for Hyunjin and Jiwoo who are your friends.

Jinsol tries to convince herself with that thought. 

Fuck, but you’re making breakfast for her because you just fucked her and you know she’ll get hungry when she wakes up. 

She flips the pancake. While looking at the batter she notices how little there was. She worries it wouldn’t be enough and decides to cook eggs later. 

These pancakes will taste better with chocolate chips. 

Sooyoung likes sweet things. Sure, it’ll ruin her dance diet, but a couple pieces of chocolate wouldn’t hurt. 

She opens a different cupboard to look for the chocolate chips. Upon finding a bag of them and opening it, she suddenly remembers how Sooyoung likes apples with breakfast items, like waffles and crepes. 

There are three apples on the counter and the act of caramelizing apples is slightly more demanding than making pancakes, but Jinsol’s mind wasn’t much clearer and she needs all the distractions she can get. 

This distraction seemed to work. On top of finishing up the pancakes, peeling the apples was enough to keep her occupied. She made an effort to only have one long peel. The smell of the caramel was rather awakening, but it made the room very cozy. 

Oh, the irony. 

The pancakes were done and the apples would be done in about 20 minutes. She pulls out a new pan and starts the eggs. 

“How do you like your eggs done?” That line usually seals the deal before a hookup.

It was a flirting tactic. Not only are you confident that the sex will be good enough that she’ll end up staying the entire night, but you also show that you’re hospitable and a good cook.

Maybe that tactic worked a little too well. 

Sooyoung cocks an eyebrow and bites her lip. There was a spark of expectation in her eyes. “Sunnyside up. No salt.”

That was nearly 8 months ago.

At first, it was just eggs. When did it become pancakes with caramelized apples? 

“I got bored of eggs so I made bacon this time. We need some protein anyway.” Four months ago, they were at Sooyoung’s apartment and she was the one cooking. Jinsol admits bacon was a pleasant surprise of their norm. 

Maybe that’s when things should have stopped. Maybe that’s when things changed. 

It’s ironic and confusing. Jinsol would do this for any friend that stayed the night. She admits Sooyoung is more than a friend, sex considered or not. So why does she feel bad for taking an extra step?

Jinsol’s feeling groggy. She doesn’t know if exhaustion is actually hitting her or because she’s frustrated. 

Maybe I should start a timer for the coffee, too.

Sooyoung probably wants a cold brew.

She stares at the pan. How many times had she cooked her eggs the exact same way? Why is it when something’s different, it’s special?

After putting the lid over the eggs and checking the apples again, she grips onto the kitchen counter. 

I like Sooyoung. She comes to terms with the idea. Why else would I cook an entire meal for my fuckbuddy? A meal specially catered to her. A menu that’s been under development for the past 8 months. 

The concept is slowly creeping into Jinsol’s heart. However, she can tell something’s going to hit her hard. 

Okay. I like her. 

But be honest with yourself, how long are you going to feel this way?

Sooyoung’s going to leave. You’re going to feel empty for 2 hours. Then you go to work for the next 5 days without any thought of her. 

Is that fair?

Jinsol sighs as she turns off the heat for both the eggs and apples. She opens the cupboard one last time for her pre-ground coffee beans. 

As she preps the coffee maker, she finally approaches the dangerous question. 

But what if?

What if she likes me back? I don’t think she’s sleeping with anyone else—not for this long at least. 

Will I be able to start thinking about her more? Maybe I can text her on the weekdays. Ask her how she’s doing and if she wants to grab dinner on a Thursday night. 

Maybe instead of blowing off steam, she’ll tell me about her obnoxious coworkers. Maybe Haseul can stop setting me up with her acquaintances. Maybe we can spend Christmas and summer holidays together. 

Her train of thought suddenly crashes as arms wrap around her waist and she feels warm breath on the crown of her head. “Why are you cooking at 5 in the morning?” 

Flustered, she’s trying to think of an answer and calm herself down.

She wasn’t able to do either tasks so she kept quiet. 

Noticing the lack of response, Sooyoung nuzzles her head in the nook of Jinsol’s neck. She inhales and the intimacy makes Jinsol blush. “It smells absolutely divine though."

Again, no response. 

A quiet Jinsol wasn’t abnormal, but it wasn’t common. 

Suddenly, the grip is loosened and hands travel underneath the material of Jinsol’s hoody. They skate over her abdomen. Jinsol knows it’s Sooyoung’s way of getting her to react. 

Naturally, she gets goosebumps. She couldn’t tell if Sooyoung’s hands would settle up or down. Jinsol would usually be excited by the surprise and to an extent, she is, but the amount of dread in her system is casting a raincloud over her. 

There’s a hand in the valley of her chest and another on the inside of her thighs. A pleasant surprise. Her hands settled both up and down. Jinsol knows she’s teasing and it hurts her that it’s not working on her at the moment. It’s just supposed to be sex, yet you can’t commit to that part right now. 

“You’re cold,” Sooyoung whispers in her ears. Jinsol doesn’t know if she means it emotionally, physically, or sexually. She guesses it doesn’t matter since it applies to her in all those senses.

At this point, Jinsol’s mind is numb. The proximity of Sooyoung is enticing and the smell of her is addicting, but Jinsol recognizes that she’d be poisoning herself if she kept this act up. She needs Sooyoung to leave, but she wants her to stay.

“Come back to bed with me.” Its comes out like a whine and it’s definitely one of Jinsol’s weaknesses. Sooyoung pulls her tighter, nuzzling her nose back into her neck. Her lips ghosted over the skin of her shoulder. “We’re not going to eat for a while anyway.”

Jinsol can feel her heart beating. She hopes Sooyoung can’t feel it, but that’d be impossible. Her hand is literally on her heart and Jinsol can feel her pulse on her back reverberating on Sooyoung’s front.

Sooyoung’s comment would have sparked something in Jinsol. A while? That usually meant Sooyoung would stay much longer than breakfast. Not eating? Maybe she’ll be eating something else. (*cough* someone else? *cough*) 

It should have sparked something in Jinsol.

Maybe she’s out of lighter fluid. Maybe the last firecracker in her was a dud. 

Obviously, Jinsol is not in the mood, so she has every right to kick Sooyoung out. Things like this happen, even if it’s not in her track record. They’re friends. Sooyoung doesn’t live here. 

For some odd reason, she can’t pull through, even for herself.

She doesn’t have the will in her to do so. 

Whether Sooyoung feels Jinsol’s beating heart or not, she definitely feels Jinsol sigh. Sooyoung is about to ask what’s wrong, but can tell Jinsol doesn’t want to talk. She holds her tighter, a gesture they mutually understand as “I’m here for you if you need me.”

Sooyoung doesn’t need to be here for me.

But that’s what friends are for, right?

Friends. 

A part of her is ready to spill her thoughts, but she knows a half-asleep Sooyoung would not appreciate it. 

Maybe the feeling will go away after some rest. 

Jinsol nods. “Let me just finish this up. I’ll meet you back in the room.”

After a breath, Sooyoung lets go. 

Jinsol hates that a part of her yearns for Sooyoung. The lack of warmth or the reluctant feeling they both shared didn’t bother her as much. 

The idea that Sooyoung doesn’t kiss her cheek or comment on the meal or offer to help or show any sort of domestic intimacy drives Jinsol insane.

It’s just sex. She tells herself again as she plates the eggs next to the pancakes. Sooyoung is not obligated to act that way. That’s what gets to her.

The pancakes and apples will get cold and the eggs will no longer be runny by the time they even get the chance to eat them. Sooyoung will never know how much attention to detail Jinsol put in order to make this meal perfect.

It doesn’t matter. 

She slips into bed and Sooyoung immediately wraps her arms around her and spoons her. 

Jinsol deeply sighs, taking in Sooyoung’s scent as if it was her last. 

She’ll indulge herself. Maybe it’s the last time, maybe it won’t. 

For now, she’s in Sooyoung’s arms and breakfast is on the table. She’ll eventually figure things out later. 

-----

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 52

Title: “Comfy”

Description: Joohyun lays on Seungwan

Prompt: A mix of “You’re comfy,” and “You take my breath away... literally.”

Features: Wenrene (Red Velvet)

Word Count: 753

Tags: Fluff | Slight Angst

It’s another lazy day in the dorm. Seulgi is in the dance studio. Yerim is out, mingling with friends. Sooyoung is in her room, but playing with Haetnim. At first, Joohyun was by herself in her room, simply playing games on her phone. Seungwan knocked on her door and asked if she wanted to join in for a movie.

They’re onto their third movie for the night. With each passing movie, Joohyun’s posture worsened and molded into Seungwan’s body. At first, she laid her head on her shoulder, but now she’s on her lap.

“You’re comfy,” Joohyun randomly says in between movies.

Seungwan simply lets out a laugh. It’s endearing, but it is slightly awkward.

She can’t help but love that about Joohyun.

Joohyun lays her head on Seungwan’s leg. There’s a jacket acting as a buffer between head and muscle.

It’s warm, maybe because she’s been laying there for a while.

There’s a hand on Joohyun’s shoulder. She unconsciously rubs gentle circles with her thumb.

Joohyun’s breathing is steady and Seungwan wonders if she has fallen asleep, but then Joohyun will make some snarky commentary that will honestly wake Seungwan up.

“Why is she running in heels? She’s being chased by a dinosaur for crying out loud.”

“Why does he keep lying about losing his virginity? The secret’s going to come out eventually.”

“The fight scene was pretty cool, but there’s too many slo-mos.”

Seungwan just smiles. It’s much better to hear Joohyun complain about the movie rather than Yerim spewing out random facts every 5 minutes or Seulgi asking questions because she zoned out.

The movie ends. Joohyun asks if they’re going to watch another movie, but Seungwan says she needs a break. She casts her laptop to the side.

“I’m going to lay down a bit.”

Seungwan half-expects Joohyun to leave. The other half expects her to stay and lay with her. (Go figure.)

She lays on her stomach—honestly, a bad habit, but her back has been killing her with all the dance practices so she tolerates it. Of all the things she’s expecting, she doesn’t expect Joohyun to lay on top of her.

There’s an oomph and some laughter from Joohyun. Seungwan tolerates it for a few minutes, but the discomfort eventually gets to her. “Can you get off me please?”

Joohyun will do so, but she wants to tease her groupmate a little longer. “Why?”

Seungwan thinks it’s an absurd question and an inconsiderate time to joke about it. She is about to yell at her, but thinks of a way to easily get rid of Joohyun: flirting. “You are taking my breath away.”

To her surprise, Joohyun doesn’t cower away. “Oh, you say the sweetest things.”

The younger girl rolls her eyes. “I mean it literally, you jerk. Get off me.”

“But you’re comfy,” Joohyun whines.

“Joohyun,” Seungwan says sternly.

Joohyun obliges. As Seungwan turns around, she crawls off the bed. She’s already on her feet when Seungwan grabs her wrist.

Meek eyes follow up an arm and meet jaded, but soft eyes. Seungwan’s grip loosens upon realizing what she did.

“You can stay, you know?”

Joohyun knows she can, but she doesn’t know if she should. It’s one thing to watch movies with your best friend and it’s something else to sleep next to them.

Sure, they’ve known each other for a long time and have shared hotel rooms while they were touring, but lately things have been different. Talks about the future have become dealbreakers. The feeling of not wanting to leave each other is becoming stronger and Joohyun starts wondering why and what it means.

Mayhaps Joohyun is starting to realize her feelings for her best friend.

She knows what’s right and what’s wrong. She knows it’s something that shouldn’t happen, so she does her best to set boundaries and keep her feelings at bay.

Joohyun knows laying together in bed is a bit intimate, but she can’t help but want to do so.

Joohyun chooses to crawl back in bed with Seungwan. The younger woman scoots over so she can make room for Joohyun. Seungwan lays on her back this time. Joohyun clings onto her arm, per usual.

It feels right. It shouldn’t, but it does.

Joohyun smiles. She likes the feeling and even if she only gets to indulge for an hour, at least she’s happy.

“Why are you smiling?”

The elder is surprised Seungwan could notice that, but they are really close to each other.

“You’re comfy,” is all she says.

-----

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 315

Title: “Sweater”

Description: Yoohyeon has a hard time sending Handong off. 

Prompt: “Would you mind if I borrowed your sweater? It’s cold and they smell like you.”

Features: YooDong (Dream Catcher)

Note: We need more Handong fics. 

Word Count: 801

Tags: Angst?

Once again, Dongie was leaving to go home to China.

This happens every year during the holiday season. It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas, Chuseok, or New Year’s. Handong leaves to spend time with her family. It’s the least she can do ever since she decided to settle in this new country.

Saying goodbye was never easy. Even when they were simply roommates in college, there was a part of Yoohyeon that wanted to join Handong or try to convince her to stay. It’s been seven years since she’s known the Chinese woman—two years since they’ve been officially dating—and the sentiment never changed.

“It’s just a week,” Handong always reminds her.

A week really isn’t that long. In fact, after the goodbye, Yoohyeon can enjoy simple pleasures like watching a movie by herself or going out with Minji and Yubin. It’s just the actual departure and the lack of communication that makes Yoohyeon insecure. Of course, the emptiness of the apartment and the silence hurts, too, but Yoohyeon has learned to get used to it.

And she can’t be selfish. Yoohyeon spends 358 days with Handong. Handong only has seven days with her family. It’s seven days of food she’s missed, sights she hasn’t seen, and a sense of home that’s different from Yoohyeon.

They’re at the door. Yoohyeon’s grip on Handong’s hand is tight. Something about the pain makes Handong want to drop everything and stay with her girlfriend. It won’t ever work though. Handong misses her family and this plane ticket isn’t cheap.

“The cab is waiting outside.” It’s almost a whisper. Maybe if Handong was quiet enough, it didn’t have to be true.

Yoohyeon would’ve driven her, except last year, she almost didn’t leave the garage. Calling a cab driver was a safer option. I guess Handong could keep stalling until the driver left, but she knew that was too petty.

The younger girl simply nods.

This was the hardest part. In an hour, she’ll be lonely, but it won’t hurt as much. Tomorrow, she won’t be as phased. Days well meld and suddenly the week is over.

Still, nothing prevents the ache in your heart and the tears welling up in your ducts. Nothing prevents you from the loneliness that only one person can fill.

“Call me before you leave?” There’s an obvious answer, but Yoohyeon is saying anything to talk.

Handong gives a bitter smile and nods.

“Would you mind if I borrowed your sweater? It’s cold and they smell like you.” It’s another obvious answer, but the consent is endearing. With a bitten lip, Yoohyeon kinda looks like a kicked puppy and Handong wants to punch her at how dramatic she’s being.

Handong lets out a laugh, thinking about the stolen sweater in her carry-on bag. She didn’t ask for permission and maybe she should reciprocate the endearment, but it’s been 5 minutes and the taxi driver will call her soon. There’s no time to waste, even for harmless banter.

“My closet is basically yours.” She pulls Yoohyeon close and tightly hugs her for one last hug.

Yoohyeon replies with a mumble in her hair. “Does that mean I can wear your white, long-sleeve shirt? The one with The Simpsons on it?”

It’s an expensive shirt and Handong wants to argue, but her phone is vibrating in her pocket and she’s sure that’s the taxi driver. “Sure.”

She pulls away, but Yoohyeon dips down for a searing kiss. Handong feels her knees buckle so she grips onto the taller girl.

Yoohyeon pulls away. “Tell your parents I said hi.”

Handong is about to nod, but Yoohyeon kisses her again.

She pulls away, one last time. “And don’t forget to bring me some hot-dry noodles.”

Finally, Handong can speak without being interrupted by Yoohyeon’s lips. “I will.” She grabs her luggage and opens the door.

They hold hands as they walk to the elevator. Handong calls the driver and apologizes for being behind schedule. She reassures him that she’ll be outside in 5 minutes. After the call, it’s quiet between the two, but both are sure that if there’s any more conversation, one of them might slip.

“Make sure to eat everyday. I’ll message you every time I have Wi-Fi. I’ll message Minji-unnie if I have to.” They’re walking to the taxi. Yoohyeon helps Handong put her bags in the back.

When the trunk shuts, Yoohyeon lets go of her and now Handong has to will herself to leave.

“I’ll be back.” It’s a rather bold promise, but it’s something Handong wants to keep.

Yoohyeon just smiles. Handong can be pretty dramatic, too. “You better.”

“See you soon.” A kiss on the back of Yoohyeon’s hand.

“I love you.” It’s cold outside. They could see each other’s breaths.

“I love you, too.” It’s just a week. 

-------

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[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 51

Title: “Half-Asleep”

Description: Heejin and Hyunjin talk before going to bed.

Prompt: “I know this is cheesy, but I love when you’re half asleep and you’re talking nonsense.”

Features: 2jin (Loona)

HOW HAVE I NOT POSTED 2JIN? THEY ARE MY FAVORITE SOFT SHIP. 

Word Count: 1,360

Tags: Fluff

Heejin is not Hyunjin’s first girlfriend, nor is she her first love. However, despite dating for 6 months, there are many moments when she catches her puppy love for Heejin. It’s a rather odd feeling, but it’s warm and it simply makes her happy. Maybe it’s not a bad sentiment, but Hyunjin really thought she’d stop having these kinds of emotions a long time ago. 

Puppy love. Hyunjin likes to give the excuse that Heejin looks like a puppy, but she really doesn’t know why Heejin makes her feel like a high-schooler falling in love for the first time. It’s crazy how just holding her makes her heart flutter and the smell of her shampoo causes her cheeks to turn pink. 

Tonight contained one of those tender moments. 

It’s nothing special. The two are just cuddling after a long night. Heejin had a midterm in the morning and Hyunjin had a long shift in the afternoon. They reconvened at dance practice that night and now they’re exhausted. 

Heejin wants to catch up on lost time. She’s been ignoring Hyunjin since the sight of her girlfriend makes her want to ridicule her in some way and Hyunjin never lets her down without a fight. In a softer sense, Hyunjin also has her persuasive ways of getting Heejin to go to sleep early, so she’s spent late nights at the library. 

Now, Heejin doesn’t have to hold back. She’s in Hyunjin’s arms, clutching onto that flannel shirt she hates and dozing off to the waves of Hyunjin’s breathing. The only light in the room is coming from the moon through the blinds. Conversation is low. Both of them were more than ready to pass out, but Heejin was eager to have conversation. 

“And then I told Haseul-unnie.” There’s some muffled words. “I loved the smell of the ocean, you know?” Heejin says a few more jumbled words. Hyunjin wastes energy trying to decipher it. “I’ve always wanted to eat pizza by the river. It’s not the ocean, but it at least smells like water. It doesn’t smell good, but you know what I mean.”

No, Hyunjin doesn’t know what she means, but she’ll try to keep that in the back of her head. Throughout the six months they’ve been dating, Hyunjin has learned that Heejin partially sleeptalks. 

It started when they were doing long distance over the summer. They’d video chat with each other until they fell asleep. Heejin insisted she’d stay awake because she thinks the sight of Hyunjin falling asleep was cute. However, Hyunjin would always wake up when Heejin was spewing nonsense with closed eyes and a face half-sunken into a pillow.

The topics were always anime-related or something on Heejin’s mind, specifically things she likes. Through her sleep-talking, Hyunjin learned the chord progression to Heejin’s favorite song, her favorite brand of clothing, and how she hates pigeons. Hyunjin has no idea how any of this information will benefit her anytime soon, but the idea of knowing trivial facts about Heejin seems very endearing.

“Now that I think about it, I think Haseul-unnie and Sooyoung-unnie are suspiciously close. What do you think, Hyun? If they get together, we should double date with them. How about playing DDR at the market? That sounds like fun.”

Ocean smells. Pizza by the river. Double dates. Dance Dance Revolution. Night at the market. 

Actually, tonight was more beneficial than usual. Maybe Heejin really wants to go on a date. Hyunjin likes the idea of that. They can go to the night market on Friday night. Heejin always looks pretty under the city lights. It’ll be cold and Hyunjin can give her jacket or they can share warmth by holding hands. What food does Heejin want? It doesn’t matter. She’ll just get two things that Heejin suggests and they’ll share. 

They’ll have to save the double date, the river date, and the arcade for another time. Hyunjin wants Heejin all to herself this weekend. 

Oh wait. 

Another time. 

How much time does Hyunjin have with Heejin?

Hopefully, a long time. 

Heejin probably likes that, too. 

There are those butterflies again. How does the thought of a long time make Hyunjin giddy and why is she thinking of the unrealistic forever? She doesn’t care and maybe it’s stupid and dangerous, but it makes her happy and she’d like to think Heejin feels the same. Hyunjin is glad Heejin’s eyes are probably closed because she’d for sure tease her for the rosy cheeks. 

The girl living in her heart rent-free distracts her. “What are you smiling about Kim Hyunjin? I didn’t even get to the punchline.”

Hyunjin quietly snorts. Was Heejin telling a joke? Nothing Heejin was saying even made sense. In fact, she was sure her girlfriend was about to fall asleep with how she’s speaking with slow and slurred words. 

For a second, Hyunjin is a little self-conscious of how close they were—the way that Heejin could feel her smiling and it woke her up from any stupor. Her stomach churns thinking about how comfortably intimate they were. 

“It’s nothing.” Her cheeks are hurting  from smiling, but the amount of serotonin rushing through her body wouldn’t stop. (It’s not like she wanted it to stop anyways.)

Heejin lazily pinches her side, causing Hyunjin to pull away and grab Heejin’s hands. 

“Heekkie!” She lets out a giggle before loosening her grip.

The owner of the nickname also lets out a low chuckle. “Just tell me.” The whine sounds like it was supposed to be paired with a teasing pout, but Heejin also has a goofy grin on her face. “I bet it’s not that cheesy. You’re too wise, like Eric.”

Hyunjin blinks a few times. She can’t decide if she wants to figure out who this Eric person is or just let Heejin begin her half-sleep-talking again. 

Heejin answers her question. “You know? From Full Metal Alchemist? The guy with the mechanical arm?”

Upon realizing Heejin was talking about an anime character, Hyunjin huffs out some air. Elric not Eric. “Edward.”

The smaller girl just tightens her grip on their interlocked hands and she smiles. “Yeah. That dude.”

Hyunjin just tucks Heejin closer to her. “No, but this is cheesy,” she chuckles. There is a pregnant pause between the two, so Hyunjin decides to concede.  “I don’t know. I just— I love when you’re half asleep and you’re talking nonsense.”

There’s silence between the two and Hyunjin’s slightly convinced that Heejin did fall asleep. 

She’s about to sigh in relief, until Heejin slips away from below her and turns her back towards her. Hyunjin is completely flustered at the reaction. Did she say something wrong?

“Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?” Heejin clutches onto the blanket. She doesn’t want to show that she was equally affected by the puppy love even though it was really obvious. 

This was their way of showing affection: making a joke out of it and shrugging it off. Hyunjin was supposed to be offended by it, but she wanted to tease Heejin a little more. 

She scoots closer to her and puts her hands around her stomach. Heejin tries to wiggle her way out of it, but Hyunjin knows Heejin likes it. 

Hyunjin leans in closer to her ear. “It’s not my fault you’re so cute.” 

It’s almost laughable at how visible her ears turn red. Hyunjin makes note to take advantage of that response in the future, but for now, she knows both of them are tired and they have class tomorrow. 

Heejin cannot muster up a response and lets out a whine. Hyunjin recognizes the annoyance and loosens her grip as she closes her eyes and gets a whiff of Heejin’s shampoo again.  

It’s quiet and Hyunjin can feel herself sinking deeper into the bed, but Heejin turns around again. With heavy lids, Hyunjin opens her eyes, thinking Heejin would be staring at her, but Heejin was attempting to get back to her favorite position in the crook of Hyunjin’s neck. 

Hyunjin pulls her closer and adjusts her head so Heejin could be comfortable. Within a few more breaths, the couple falls asleep. 

------------

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