littleroboannie

[littleroboannie]

TW: Talk about Anxiety, Stress, Self Doubt and babies

So it’s been hard the past couple of weeks, and I’m having a hard time dealing with it all.

There was some major issues during Christmas, and I still haven’t managed to figure out what it going on. 

And then I started a new job, and it is amazing. But people all day long- it’s an adjustment.

And babies- fucking hell.....

It’s something I can’t talk about easily. How my PCOS makes me fee, how I deal with it. How infertility is something I struggle with daily. And how people in my life are pregnant. I feel like a failure, a disaster and an absolute mess. 

I have been an emotional wreck about my fertility.. And I know that I don’t want to give up, I really don’t. But I’ve had to make some hard decisions about it, about my future as a mother. 

And then tonight, friggen fireworks made me fucking cry.

I feel like a pain in the ass, I feel like a bad person and I feel like I just need to shut up. This sucks......

[littleroboannie]

Today I took a shower and did chores (trash, pick up and vaccuming) I feel great and am proud of myself. I am going to start seeing a therapist, and hopefully move forwards toward getting to a more "even" me. But for now, I'll take that I did those things as a victory.

[littleroboannie]

[littleroboannie]

I’m kind of thinking of starting over with this blog. Not getting rid of my name, or some of my posts. More like a huge housekeeping, but I dunno.

*shrug*

[littleroboannie]

✘✘6pc Metallic Floss Giveaway✘✘ Open Until: Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

This giveaway is a big “thank you ♥” to my followers, so of course *you must be following me to win!

❥Reblogs and likes count. Please only reblog once per day. ❥No giveaway blogs. ❥Keep your ask open! ❥Of course, all entrants must be willing to provide their name and address. ❥US and international entrants both welcome. ❥One winner will be chosen at random using a generator. ❥The winner will have 48 hours to respond privately. ❥*If you enter via a secondary blog, please put the name of your primary blog in the tags each time you enter! ie: #entering as (name of primary blog)

Good luck! xxMaggie I made that banner in ms paint; be impressed.

[littleroboannie]

I am so fucking pissed off. People keep parking in our parking space. We left for 30 fucking minutes, come back and our spot has someone in it I'm fucking livid!!!!!

[littleroboannie]

Can I just cry. Am I allowed to have these emotions?? I'm not an idiot, I'm not. Least I don't think I am. I hate this feeling.

[littleroboannie]

I really hate how sometimes I have to find a quiet place to hide for a few minutes. And how hard it is to do that here.

[littleroboannie]

I'm trying so hard to be happy and polite and cheerful. But like, I also am so terribly stressed and anxious and I feel sad right now. I have no close friends out here, and literally everyone I know is because of my hubby. And like there are other things I can't talk about. It's just really hard. I could really really use a hug or something, and I don't wanna bug the hubby. This all sucks really really badly.

[littleroboannie]

And in other fucking news,

Mike “I’m a fucking douche canoe FuckTruck” Huckabee called the supreme court “imperialistic” for allowing marriage to happen, for anyone not just for heterosexual people.

So it’s okay to pal around with the Duggar, and support the courts decision on Hobby Lobby.

But GOD FORBID the moment they say hey- people can get married no matter what. Cause love don’t give a fuck.. you lose your shit.

[littleroboannie]

I'm getting so pissed off right now, but I can't say anything. And it is fucking annoying

[littleroboannie]

I am so suprised about how happy I am right now. But the sad thing is I lost a "friend" and a family member over my marriage. Not a huge huge suprise, seeing the type of people they were. But it still sucks.

[littleroboannie]

You are not obligated to love a parent.

You do not have to love, respect or see an abusive, manipulative, neglectful parent.

You as a human being have the right to tell them to fuck off, grow up and get out permanently.

Being the bio mother or father does not matter

You are. You are allowed, empowered and the only person who decides how you feel about a parent.

You are own person, you do not owe them shit for anything.

Be strong! You are not a bad person, a bad human or a bad child

You are not their sins and faults.

You have my support, my love and my energy.

You’ve got this!!!

[littleroboannie]

I GOT MARRIED

[littleroboannie]

When your roomies have to take the trash can way, because you refuse to take out the trash you make- you might want to rethink that whole your perfect thing you got going on.

[littleroboannie]

I think the most horrible feeling is the inability to do anything.

[littleroboannie]

*squeals* 

*kicks my feet*

I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I AM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!