loadbearingbees

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a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

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One of the machines broke down at the hyperbole factory. The situation is frustrating, but ultimately manageable.

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i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

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I believe there are two morals to white collar. 1) if you’re too good of a liar no one will trust you, and 2) if you never trust someone they’ll have no reason to be truthful.

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[ID: a rough doodle of a grimacing person, labelled "me," opening a bottle of sparkling cider, labelled "cider that apparently got shookened." the bottle shoots a blast of cider, labelled "Beam Attack," at a cat, labelled "gertrude."]

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sick of these job applications man

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im so horny i could eat a horse

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im not a cuck myself but i like observing their culture from the outside, like say, from a chair in the corner

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*dipping a dart into an unlabelled flask and loading it into my crossbow* you better not try anything stupid because i don't even remember what this one does

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My friend Alicia made an ATLA meme

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thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else

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thank you for tuning in to faggot fm i’m your dj sexchange.com we've got some hits lined up for you tonight. semen and girlfunkel, joan bi-ez, gay bob dylan and kicking us off as always are the normal beatles

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jack of all trades, master also of all those trades. no prablem 👌

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Im the guy who's getting all those pauses pregnant

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Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

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she res on my urrection till i come. (back. (from the dead))