loserheadcanons - Tumblr blog

[loserheadcanons]

Hey Viv, ever met a cat???

“Oh, and the human? I believe I’ve met her too…”

[loserheadcanons]

Kelly!!! What would you look like if you were a pirate??

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Anthea, what do you think about your boyfriends??

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, anon…”

[loserheadcanons]

Hey Nikolai!!! Poke out your tongue!! (does it glow in the dark???)

“It’s quite common for demons, actually. Cass is one of the minority which doesn’t possess the trait. For this reason, she’s absolutely fascinated with my tongue…”

[loserheadcanons]

oops-I-was-kidnapped-by-aliens (because they read my conspiracy blog) and holy shit I was right about (almost) everything! (The almost being that ermm they're all actually badass & terrifying female warriors and me in misogynist way thought that they had to be guys)

AU where there is a race full of females who have blue/grey skin, cross tattoos on their bodies, specialise in either warrior, rogue or mage techniques and where short hair is seen as a strong, female trait. Kelly’s name, ‘Xara-the’ is pronounced ‘Zara-teh’. Hanae’s or Loflenaren is exactly how it looks and Plumeria’s ‘Cynsaneth’ is pronounced ‘Sinsaneht’.

Aaron was scared out of his wits. The sole of a heavy combat boot pressed relentlessly against the skin of his cheek, forcing him to the floor. He couldn’t breathe without pain shooting through his nerves. The three, dangerous women towered over him. The only one mildly concerned appeared to be the one showered in dark freckles and even her bright eyes regarded him with disdain. 

They communicated in a whir of clicks and rolls of the tongue - their language almost graceful, but hoarse and low. Infuriated with their inability to converse, the first of the three produced a fantastic blue wisp from her fingertips. It lingered for a moment, forming a small glowing ball in the cusp of her palm before it divided and floated by their throats. Aaron’s larynx fluttered with warmth - a warmth that extended from his neck to his ears. Suddenly, the previously foreign banter became very clear and incredibly affronting. 

“Execution,” said the tallest. “Is the safest option. It is best we teach this manling the fault of his ways swiftly and mercilessly.”

“Xara-the, I do believe the manling is unaware of his crimes. Perhaps this is a case of naive curiosity and not malicious intent?”

‘Xara-the’ scoffed. Aaron felt objection rising up in his throat, but like the boot on his face, it was swiftly pressed down. The women continued to banter, arguing back and forth about the fate of the man. Xara-the’s ears flattened against her skull when the two others pleaded his innocence. 

“I do believe Loflenaren may be correct in her hypothesis, Xara,” said the freckled one. “He appears to bare no ill-will and the human race has thus far displayed no outstanding knowledge of our race before this day. Even then, he displaced a major detail regarding our gender.”

“A means of insult, surely,” spat Xara-the. 

“Still, a substantial mistake,” replied Loflenaren. “Let the manling speak for himself. He has yet to rise from your boot, Xara.”

A rushed sigh of relief left Aaron’s chapped lips as the pressure was slowly eased. Still, Xara-the’s hammer remained by her side, ready for assault should he attack.  The silver metal was stained with rust, or what Aaron hoped was rust. The logical side of his brain announced that the product may not even exist on the women’s planet. 

Loflenaren gestured for his speech, a welcoming smile present on her lips. Rising to his haunches, Aaron stared suspiciously at the three. He repressed the urge to burst forth with happiness. His theories were correct - of course, one minor detail was out of place, but otherwise, the living, breathing proof was right before him! He swallowed his stupid grin. Facing execution, right…back to the present. 

“I, uh, I assure you…My blog was nothing but theories based off conspiracies across the internet drawn to a consensus,” he explained. “I had no idea such beings actually existed. It’s incredible! I mean…”

He cast his gaze to the trio, assessing their reactions. Loflenaren and freckles seemed mildly appeased, their mouths tilted upwards in a jovial expression. Xara-the glared. There was no impressing the warrior, it seemed. 

“I like him,” declared freckles. Loflenaren hummed in agreement, amusement glittering in her glowing eye. 

“You can’t be serious,” snarled Xara-the. “He has released confidential information unto the cyberspace! Whether it was an accident or otherwise, he deserves a trial.”

“I’m afraid as the Queen’s Ambassador, I withhold further influence over this matter, Xara-the,” stated Loflenaren calmly. “He will be released, free of charge. Already, all information regarding our species has been wiped, regardless of his intentions. Furthermore, Her Majesty has requested that we survey this planet for six cycles. If you’re not satisfied, perhaps his punishment would be to accommodate us in our travels?” She smiled, not unkindly. 

Before the warrior could have a say in the matter, Aaron opened his mouth to interrupt, irritation evident upon his features. Didn’t he get a say in this? He supposed he should have been thankful, but that was not the way Aaron’s mind operated. 

“But you’re blue!” he tried to reason. “I can’t parade around with three aliens!”

Loflenaren’s smile broadened, her gaze flickering over to Freckles. “Cynsaneth?”

The shortest woman nodded firmly and tapped at a device on her wrist. The three of them shimmered, becoming the human mirror-images of themselves. If they rid of the weapons and odd clothing, they would appear like any other trio of girls. Momentarily intrigued by the technology, Aaron snapped out of his reverie and glared. 

“My family will be suspicious if I’m suddenly rooming with a group of women!”

“Call us exchange students, if you will,” said Cynsaneth. “It will explain our accents and your accommodation, not to mention any strange habits we withhold.” 

He groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his pals. Ignoring Xara-the’s quip of ‘would you rather death?’, he nodded slowly. 

“You at least need human names,” he said, finally. His acceptance made Loflenaren grin. 

“We will be Hanae Jones, Plumeria Snite and Kelly Taylor, respectfully,” she stated, gesturing to each. Her pointed teeth shone in the wicked light. “Nice to meet you.”

[loserheadcanons]

pretty in pastel 15 for kelly or lucas

“You can be the King, but watch the Queen conquer.”

[loserheadcanons]

4 with Cat

I would like to thank not only jesus, but god

[loserheadcanons]

Birthday present for Nari

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"Honey, what'chu waiting for? Welcome to my Candy Store! You just gotta prove You're not a pussy anymore! Then step into my Candy Store!" My three meanest girls

[loserheadcanons]

I HAVE PRIORITIES OKAY AND ALL OF MY PRIORITIES WITH MY TEENY-WEENY AMOUNT OF INTERNET AMOUNT IS TO QUICK POST THESE GOSHDAMN LATE CHRISTMAS FICS BEFORE IT RUNS OUT HOLY HELP 

thecatnipples Yo friend welcome to the trash heap I’ve saved you the crown of badassery!! Because you are so hella badass and super (super!) ridiculous sometimes and you are a hella dork and I’m glad we’re still friends //forks out money 2 hug u. (sORRY I WAS LATE AND MY QUEUE FUCKED UP)

Thank you for putting up with my one piece loving trashy-ass Kitty, and enjoy the biggest fucking dorks in existence. (also ps do you know how much fun it was to write Conner and Jett in this hOOH MY GOD)

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Aaron was what one could call a certified genius; he’d graduated high school before his peers would even have been considering the prospect of graduating primary school. Though blunt and harsh, the teen knew exactly how to twist people when he needed to, and passed IQ tests with a stunning ease.

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[loserheadcanons]

"She's an American Beauty.

I'm an American Psycho."

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Pokemon!AU time

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Love of my life by Queen for any pairing you want (preferably the one that would create the most effect [by effect I mean angst])

Frickin’ hell friend can we please ship Dayna/Lucas or something because jfc I feel so bad for my baby he has like one ship and I put him through so much angst because Zane iS AN IDIOT.

Lucas knew that he was a mess-up; he knew that he was a stuttering mess when faced with conversations and situations that scared him, and he knew that Zane took love from wherever he could take it.

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[loserheadcanons]

I have another song thing drabble for you for reasons - Won't go Home without you by Maroon 5 and you can choose between KellyxLucas (Platonic), KellyxAsher or ZanexCat I guess

oH god wtf is this the biggest dork in existence and his badass kickass of a girlfriend??? hell yeah. (wHISPERS THE FLUFF, IT BURNS)

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“Hey Kelly,” Asher said, heaving a shaky breath to try and calm his racing heart, “You know I was- You see, I was just- just wondering if you’d-” his hand gravitated to his fork, which he nudged to the left, and then nudged to the right in a vain effort to straighten it, “You know, if you’d like I have- I mean, there’s a-”

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[loserheadcanons]

Last sidebar-but-not for authenticaussie

[loserheadcanons]

Another sidebar for Nari, this time of her character Lucas. She told me just to do the star one bUT NO I COULDN’T I LOVE THIS GUY TOO MUCH