lostsa1lor

[lostsa1lor]

I’m genuinely so lost. Anytime I’m away from my boyfriend I get heavy anxiety and panic. I’m so miserable. I’ve somehow gotten myself into this relationship and I’m not sure how, I feel so out of it all the time. He’s older than me (early twenties while I’m late teens) and I don’t think I can go even an hour without talking to him. I know I’m not burdening him because he’s more obsessed. Always worried always wanting to call when I go to sleep it’s been a few weeks and he’s been talking about marriage and children after a few days. He says he doesn’t want me to be with him out of pity but I know he’d end himself if he was alone, he’s helped me a lot. Losing weight has been easier, I don’t want to eat when I could talk to him, I’m so screwed. I’ve dropped the pounds real good.

[lostsa1lor]

I got 99 problems, losing weight would solve 100 of them.

[lostsa1lor]

When I’m losing weight but I’m also tall as a mf so no matter what I’ll always be some 5’1 gals hw.

[lostsa1lor]

I want to di3 so bad

but can’t at this w3ight.

[lostsa1lor]

"I'm not eating until you eat" I hate you

[lostsa1lor]

My vision for the cuntry

alcohol should be 0 calories and free at the gas station

[lostsa1lor]

I forget that “depression” isn’t a big funny word my doctors been using since I was thirteen, it’s genuinely something destroying my life and everything in it.

[lostsa1lor]

“This is the darkest time in my life”

And then next month comes

[lostsa1lor]

I don’t want compliments I want concern

[lostsa1lor]

.

[lostsa1lor]

“Come on Avery, let’s go into your room to play”

Sir you assaulted me everytime you got me alone for ten years??

[lostsa1lor]

Me: *shows clear signs of csa growing up*

My parents: "let's ignore that and talk about your grades"

[lostsa1lor]

I hate being hyper sexual and then feeling so disgusting with myself to the point i remember I why im like this and how I was assaulted then trigger myself into an episode

[lostsa1lor]

I feel so pretty after I purge. My lips and cheeks look redder that bloat goes away and I just feel clean. I swear even my eyes look a prettier blue but I’m probably just delusional.

[lostsa1lor]

Genuinely, the CSA victim to restrictive ED pipeline should be studied. What do you mean I’ll always be craving control over my own body?