loversghostsworld - Tumblr blog

[loversghostsworld]

Maybe tomorrow we will be together,

Maybe tomorrow I won’t be able to control my feelings for you,

Maybe tomorrow won’t be the same as today when I cowered,

[loversghostsworld]

♡ Everyday feels like a constant loop of existing. Living just to get through the next day, next week, next year. And before I know it... Here I am. The world has changed. But other than that, my life hasn't. Isn't that funny? I'm too fixated on finding a meaning to my existence, that I forgotten to actually exist. Maybe being the eldest gives me a sense of duty, but I'm not sure that's what I really want. I'm lonely, and I'm trying to fill that hole in my heart by holding responsibilities that means very little to me. What's the point in doing what you love…it will never help you with the real world. Isn't it sad wanting more. It's kind of selfish to risk everything just to satisfy the people who I call family. But it makes me happy knowing I made an effort to make them smile. I think I was put on this world to give more love than I'll ever recieve. It’s funny… I never thought I was this problematic. I thought everything will when I’m older, but I’m still hurting. Getting pulled by a black hole. A Never Ending Cycle.♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ Im sorry… Im sorry I made you fall in love with me. I’m sorry for being there. It’s my fault you’re hurt. I rejected you, I should have never done that. Even though I don’t feel nothing for you. I’m sorry, I had to. It’s my fault you feel fuzzy and happy when I’m around you. Please don’t be sad. We can still be friends. ♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ Love is powerful… Love is blind…

People say love is a feeling, I say Love is a need. We need love, it keeps us going. It makes us crazy when we first notice it. It makes us happy when we feel it towards another person. It makes us angry when we can’t have it. Love brings the worst in a person sometimes. Love shapes us into strings that can be torn apart if touched by the wrong hands. A need you want to move away from. Love also makes you sad when it’s over… it makes you think of so many unforgettable memories.

The worst part about love is when you’re with someone and yet feel very alone…

Love is an illusion… Love is sad… Love is lonely… Love is cruel… It’s a need ♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ I watched you cussing at the world and I watched you getting mad for no fucking reason. Making sure I know how useless I am. Yelling at how stupid and fat I am. Calling me cruel things when I don’t do something right. Even when I try to help you, I get yelled at. After all this you keep telling me “I feel alone”. “Nobody ever fucking helps me” “I am alone” “I am always alone” “I am so lonely” “I alone in this world”. How do you think how it harms a child when you say those things. Do you know how it feels for a person who is trying their hardest for you to make you feel happy? How do you think it fucking feels for your daughter? How. Hearing it from a mother who is suppose to let their child feel safe. Knowing damn well that it harms a teenager’s mental health. Making her feel alone too. ♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ “There’s this girl I like”, you said with no hesitation… with those eyes. Those heart shaped eyes. That’s how I knew that the girl you were talking about wasn’t me. You wouldn’t tell me her name or how she looks, but the way you talked about her said it all. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t. The way your eyes look so distant tore me in limbs. All I could think about was how much time I spent trying to get you… all for nothing. All the things I did wasn’t enough for you. I kept thinking “I should have flirted with him a little more” “I should had texted him even if he didn’t replied first”. I kept thinking about while you blushed. I was happy for you but at the same time I felt a pit of sorrow. However at home I still had these thoughts of things I didn’t do. My mind was playing what if’s. However, I came to a conclusion that made me feel horrible and lonely. Even if I had done everything with you, you still wouldn’t have choose me… because why would you choose the reader when you could have a dreamer.♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ I hate myself when someone likes me, because some people like the way someone looks or even walks, they have the same thing I have, see something that never has been there. An illusion of the person they love/want, I’m afraid I might not be up to their standards. When they find out that the people they like aren’t what they imagined they loose interest. I’m afraid I might get hurt, so I reject them. Since I don’t know them. It’s better having their hearts broken then mine. I might be cruel, but i need to always protect number 1. Even if I don’t deserve it. ♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ I asked you why you liked me and you said because I am pretty and funny. But I never made you laugh. Nor did I tell jokes or mock someone. Yet you told me I was “funny”. There was never a time when I was funny… All he said was a lie. ♡

[loversghostsworld]

excerpt from “to the girl who buries her nightmares with flowers”

[loversghostsworld]

♡I tried to love… laughing at your jokes and comments that don’t even make sense, making you feel warm even though it made me felt cold, having you see the stars as I saw emptiness, making you believe I fell for you… I tired making you feel happy even though I was sad, so you wouldn’t feel empty.♡

[loversghostsworld]

♡ when I turned 10 I felt mature enough to understand what is happening to society. Then I turned 11 and I was scared of death. Later I turned 12 and I hated losing my family. Then I turned 13, I didn’t care about anything. Last year I turned 14 and I am afraid of growing up. Having my body decay every second. I know now that when I am 15 I will ignore the apocalypse. ♡

[loversghostsworld]

The world is so hollow… Whatever we do we act like a different person, but at your darkest moments you start to show it little by little… They will notice but you won’t.

[loversghostsworld]

♡ Hated by Parents is fun