loving-system-submissions

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2 all the way up to 10 people hugging/cuddling !!

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IT IS NOW:

KID TIME

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Mini DID book review: One Of Us Knows: a thriller

Author: Alyssa Cole

Publication date: 2024

Diagnosis of DID? Yes, the system has known for a while

Fiction of nonfiction: fiction

Is the person with DID portrayed as evil? Complicated but ultimately no; its one of the major plot points

Major trigger warnings:

death (fighting, blood, some gore but its not described much)

implied sexual assault (nothing described)

Self harm

Misogyny(major plot point)

Abelism

Racism (major plot point also)

Stalking

Kidnapping/mishandled foster care

Dormancy of parts (major plot point)

Parts being kidnapped/speculated to be killed off (major plot point)

Rituals taking place (not religious but has to do with everything on this list)

Covid being a thing(major plot point in the first part, lots of anxiety about covid)

Ratings to how I feel personally

Triggering(0 is nothing at all, 10 is could not handle reading this): 4-5 (not a gentle book but not gratuitous

System dynamics(0 is this is bizarrely off, 10 is holy shit this is a book about me): 7-8 (the conflict between parts is very well written, and so is the understanding of how deep the relationships go)

Switching(0 is doesnt work like this, 10 is this is a book about me): 4? (Nearly all of the switches are blackouts)

System communication(0 is never experienced this, 10 is this is a book about me): 8-9 (we talk to eachother like this a lot)

Inner world dynamics(0 is never experienced this, 10 is this is a book about me): 7 (theres a lot of the inner world, like half the chapters happen inside! However the physics of it were a little too realistic at times to what could happen with me, like i dont have to walk or run to get places personally)

Comorbidity with other disorders(mental or physical)(0 is there are none, 10 is i experience all of this): 5 (there is no physical ailments that come with having DID in this book, which isnt a necessity but many people who do have it also have disabilities so it feels bizzare when there are none. Theres anxiety, depression and faint mentions of disordered eating in this book)

Brief thoughts on this book:

The BadDay system(first book ive read where the system has a system name) has been well-established for many years by now, knowing about their DID, communicating with their others for some time.

The host turned persecutor has been dormant for 6 years now, missing out on covid, while the rest of the system had been active online and functioning in lockdown. Now Ken(the persecutor) is back, with the mysterious disapearence of the previous host and caretaker, Della. All eyes are on Ken wondering what the fuck happened and nobody knows how they landed a job as a caretaker of a mysterious castle on an island, that just happens to be the exact same castle from their inner world.

Mystery and thrilling things ensue as Ken goes through the motions of coming out of dormancy and no parts wanting them there, a blossoming romance with an outsider and a complicated romance on the inside too, all tied together neatly with the strange happenings on the island and the trust that owns it.

I don’t really know how to review for a thriller book, because I don’t tend to read thrillers. But the mysteries were mysterious to even me, who can see where plots are going with DID books typically. And the thrills were thrilling. I couldn’t put the book down, I kept wanting to sink in more and more

I was exceptionally pleased that the author didn’t play safe with the DID as some authors tend to when they’re writing something with modern understanding. There wasnt so much shameful secrecy around the disorder, and the questions and impacts were hard-hitting as she delved into things that I’d be worried about posting about myself. Like the dormancies impacting other parts, parts not wanting the host around. Romance and sexuality between parts. The unsavory and the honest, but also the depth of how much each of them mattered in the system and how much they cared for eachother. It was really satisfying to read! The inclusion of how social media effects people with DID nowadays was really nice to include too, and again, I haven’t yet seen any other media to employ the use of system names like how many do in social media now.

I also really really love that the story was just as much the inner world as it was the outer, as most books have the happenings between parts more hidden.. Having the two stories run side by side makes it feel like this characters life is their DID, as it often is for many of us. Idk I’m jazzed about this, this is what I wanted with DID in media. The DID actually mattering as more than a plot device

The only thing I can really fault it on is the constant blackout with switches. But to be fair, this is implied not to be their normal, and ethe events of this book are extremely high-stress situations, so I appreciate that the weight of that is stressed rather than it being another case of an author just not having personal experience enough to know. (She doesnt have the experience to know, but this was a neat way to bridge the gap)

Overall a great book. Not a fluffy one, and since the main plot revolves around the potential of the main character being the DID Killer, inside and out. So please tread carefully if the questioning of such things is hard for you. And also a thriller, so there are thriller things like violence and tension and things outside of a normal slice of life

Would I recommend someone with DID read this? YES! I do feel like this was written with a lot of care for people with DID

[loving-system-submissions]

You are doing your best, and that is all anyone can ask of you, including yourself. You are doing enough, even when it doesn't feel like you are. Some days are just about making it to the next one, and that counts, too. Give yourself permission to rest, without guilt or shame. And remember, rest is part of the process, not a reward for success. Honor your progress, and celebrate your little wins, not just the big ones. Give yourself credit where it's due. Resting is not the same as quitting. Your best might not look like someone else's best, or even like your best did yesterday (or even just five minutes ago), and that's okay. Sometimes, you'll have to reimagine what "success" means, and that's okay.

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intertwined / parts relationship - this is a flag for alters in the same system that are in a relationship and cannot define their relationship as specifically platonic or romantic due to being part of the same person. It is a mix of platonic, romantic, sexual, or familial love that is unique because it overlaps with self love. Sexualities and genders of individuals alters do not have to correspond for a system to have a parts relationship, as it’s a part of yourself.

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his interactions tickle me

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Asks are open! Come show appreciation to your parts or gush about them ^_^ (inner-system relationships welcome)

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do you love talking about your system?? do you want to be around other adults that enjoy making system art and discussing psychology/related books?? Then consider joining my server !! https://discord.gg/2svV3jg7qy

(do not save/use pic for anything ty!)

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Hey, it’s not your fault. You were just a kid. You may still BE a kid. But I know a few things for certain:

You didn’t ask to be born into this world.

You didn’t ask to be treated the way that you were treated—whether it was by bullies, parents, or other family members.

You didn’t ask to “be a burden” to your caregivers, you deserved that space to be loved and safe

You didn’t ask for your consent to be broken.

You didn’t ask for the shame and guilt someone put you through.

You aren’t bad for something happening to you. You aren’t your trauma.

I’m sorry if you were ever made to feel that way, and I know that may never mean much coming from a stranger, but I know it’s something I wish I heard more.

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one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[loving-system-submissions]

DID/OSDD Casually Explained: Masterpost

Here is a list of all my Casual Explanations about DID/OSDD. Please note that these are specific to the experiences of DID/OSDD and should not be attributed to anything else.

My casual explanations are a combination of academic research, personal experience, and community feedback. I am not a professional. I’m simply a person with dissociated parts, one of whom enjoys doing research. A lot.

If you would like to repost my work elsewhere, please include a link back to this post so others can see my sources!

DID/OSDD Casually Explained posts:

What Causes DID/OSDD?

How Alters/Parts are Experienced Internally

Parts In Control

Elaboration of Parts

What Is Integration?

Splits in Established Systems

Substitute Beliefs

One Person’s Experience of Having Dissociated Parts

Parts and Memories

Understanding Dissociated Parts:

Part 1: Belief and Appearance

Part 2: All About Introjects

Main Sources:

Books:

The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization by Onno van der Hart

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart

Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart

Treating Adult Survivors of Childhood Emotional Abuse and Neglect: Component-Based Psychotherapy by Hopper, Grossman, Spinazzola, and Zucker

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher

Helpful Links:

The Treatment of Structural Dissociation in Chronically Traumatized Patients by Janina Fisher (pdf)

International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (2011): Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults, Third Revision

Trauma-related Structural Dissociation of the Personality by Ellert Nijenhuis, Onno van der Hart, & Kathy Steele

PODS (Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors)

DIS-SOS

[loving-system-submissions]

i love you neopronoun systems

i love you xenopronoun systems

i love you xenogender systems

i love you systems with all binary pronouns

i love you systems with no binary pronouns

i love you systems with a bit of everything

i love you trans systems

i love you genderfluid systems

i love you demiboy systems

i love you demigirl systems

i love you cisgender systems

i love you non-binary systems

i love you intersex systems

i love you polygender systems

i love you bigender systems

i love you pangender systems

i love you demigender systems

i love you omnigender systems

i love you transfem systems

i love you transmasc systems

i love you demiflux systems

i love you genderflux systems

i love you genderfae systems

i love you genderfaun systems

i love you systems :-)

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Do things for your system offline.

Being a system affects life more than just online. (contrary to endo beliefs) While having some amazing resources online to help organize and track things, there are a million reasons to have your physical life have resources set up as well.

you'll never know if an alter might not even know what a phone is yet, and gods forbid if for some reason a new alter is alone without help. Trust me, we had a new alter try to just up and leave our fiance on a vacation. We have also had alters who definitely needed a picture guide on how to use the system discord lol.

Here are some ideas we do to help ensure our system is safe, but also helps alters feel more grounded and present with themselves!

Fronting Kandii bracelets, it can really help when you can't use your phone for switches, but also good for systems with significant barriers between alters and memory, so you can see who was here last!

a physical notebook labeled in bold for "if confused/lost read this" and inside keep important information; (what is a system, what the body name is, what your job is, and how to open and use a phone just in case, and also what to do to contact a gatekeeper or what to do if they can't, such as how to call out of work or avoid the family/friends asking what's wrong.)

another notebook might be helpful for alters to have fun decorating an 'about page' but also having your system journal individually as alters is REALLY IMPORTANT TO HAVE IN CASE YOU WANT TO TALK TO A DOCTOR ABOUT GETTING DIAGNOSED. It can really help the doctor see a track of things. We started our first journal in 2017, even outside of doctors, it's good for a physical medium for alters to express in.

these next ones are focused on alters having their own space and grounding in the real world!

having a small box or basket or something like that to keep their favorite or 'personal' items. our system likes having our own individual space and items, and for us it helps not only keep the peace, but also help us ground when we have our own things like clothes, comforts, snacks on hand, personal notebooks, etc.

remember kids, if your system is affecting you irl, when no one is looking then you are not faking! no sys doubting here pookies <3

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being friends w systems is nuts cuz youll have a guy in the friend group that goes away for a bit and comes back like "i got out of the nightmare loop" or "sorry i was gone i got put in the torment nexus" and its not even an exaggeration they really were in the nightmare loop or the torment nexus for a week and are forced to be normal about it

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can we call introjects that have the same source "source twins" instead of calling them "doubles"

idk i feel like saying "omg we're source twinning!" is so much more respectful to someones individuality than saying "omg youre a double!"

it helps steer away from the idea that introjects are "copies" of each other, and it helps give introjects their own sense of self that isnt 100% tied to their source

id love to hear other peoples thoughts on this term concept ^^

~Selever <3

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merry christmas kiddos!! I hope you get everything you want this year! I know it’s been a hard one, but you did it — and that’s something to celebrate! 🎄⭐️🎁

[loving-system-submissions]

do you love talking about your system?? do you want to be around other adults that enjoy making system art and discussing psychology/related books?? Then consider joining my server !! https://discord.gg/2svV3jg7qy

(do not save/use pic for anything ty!)